Negativity
I've been really negative today.
Like, excessively negative. I guess because I hadn't slept well since Thursday (Tavi has been sick since Friday night and as a result she and I have not slept). So, a sick kid is like the most stressful and exhausting thing ever. Plus, I had a full work day with only having slept a few hours in the span of 3 days. Working on lack of sleep is kind trippy, in a bad way. You try to be there for the patient and hold back your aches and pains as best you can. You try to drive a long distance without thinking about how your headache might cause an accident. You try try try all the time and it's still not enough because when you get home you are reminded by your husband how negative you are being. And, he's right but I mean cmon. Taking Tavi to the doctor in between patients and therefore falling behind and rushing to see everyone in an 8 hour day without doing paperwork to make up for the time is stressful! I managed to take an hour nap once I got home which was equally stressful because I know how Tavi and Danny were waiting all day for me and then I finally come home and I'm like "peace, I feel like death." Then a few more hours or paper work to catch up on before bed while dinner isn't even a thing we do aside from peanut butter crackers and Mac and cheese. It's. So. Tiring. And it's got me thinking Idk if I can handle another kid. I want one soo bad but really, is it something I can manage and keep myself healthy at the same time? Not sure. It's been a day. It's been a really hard day. There are more hard days to come and I'm sure I'll be looking back and reading this while lol because I wish I could feel these things again. It's hard, though. It's demanding. It's life. I'm just hoping the snoring I hear across the room subside before I get into bed or I might just drown myself in this heavenly tub.