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[some_privateer]

"i'm at a really strange point in my life." it is such a cliche, such an obvious hole in which to have fallen. here is the way things are: i do not, as of today, have my job with the bookseller anymore. in his own words, he doesn't have the cash for it and so i cannot come to work. this is not unanticipated but still a little crushing in my chest--

Comments

[muunpi]

this may not make a lot of sense but i envy you being "in the stream" and not having the responsibility of the well-being of other humans on your back. Whatever happens, happens and you will survive. yeah.

sWim and enjoy the adult swim.

[balasubramanyam]

I wrote you a very nice reply but livejournal ate it and I'll have to try to reconstruct it.
I sympathize. I've been sort of hovering above total financial collapse for some time now (though by some people's standards, I have already collapsed. Though my body sinks into various states of disrepair, I do not yet receive phone calls from debt collectors and consider myself therefore to be succeeding in some important way.) Dread and anxiety play an unfortunately massive role in my thought processes, but these are problems which it is at least relatively satisfying to have: it is more rewarding to be fighting for your life than fighting off boredom.
I would like to communicate with you much more than I do now and if you ever want to tell me about your life or open your mouth to explain the fear that you are feeling or the joys you know, send me an e-mail at thethingsyoucouldbe@gmail.com