BSG fic - spoilers through episode 12
it's boofadil's fault. someone gave her the fic assignment about the whole "we need to start making babies" notion...so here i am. caveat emptor.
insert the usual disclaimers here.
rating: uhm.....it's not porn?
edited for the letter 'c'.
"You did not just say that."
Kara could feel her fingers going cold and tingly as she tried to cover the hitch in her breathing when she spoke. She wouldn't turn, couldn't turn, couldn't look at him. She was so not looking into those eyes. She tried to focus on Zak. Zak was good, kept the wall up, kept her distant. Kept her safe. Safe was good. She could ignore the part about Zak being dead, it being her fault, her being selfish and stupid and getting him killed. She needed safe now. Clung to safe. Lee wasn't safe. Safe was walking away right now, holing up in her bunk and getting tanked. That was safe. Lee was a base station-sized disaster waiting to happen.
"Kara."
She could feel him move closer, heard the intrigued fear in his voice. He was as terrified as she was, but apparently not enough to keep his stupid mouth shut, or his hand from gently brushing her shoulder. She tried to ignore the backflips in her stomach at the sound of her name on his lips.
"Would it be so..."
His voice trailed off as he leaned in behind her, so close she could feel the heat from his body.
His body.
Math. She'd do math. Gas/Volume conversions. True wind calculations. Wait, they were in space. Whatever. Whatever would keep her mind focused on something other than...did he just smell her hair? Frak. Frak. She could feel the klaxon going off in her head all the way down to her toes. Where was an ejection seat when you needed one? She started to panic. Her mind was about a split second away from shifting into auto-defense mode and if that happened it was gonna get ugly fast.
"Kara. Just think about it. That's all I'm asking."
Lee'd found her in their favorite spot on the ship, the astronomy dome high above Galactica's engine room. It was quiet when the hatch was closed, reducing the ear-splitting rumble of the engines down to a muffled vibration that was strangely calming. Nobody ever went up there. She didn't even think anyone knew about it. They'd spent hours up there together after they'd been forced to take out the Olympic Carrier. Lee was having nightmares about it. The pain she'd seen in his eyes made her heart hurt.
Kara stared at her hands. She was clutching the safety railing so hard her knuckles were white. She gripped the rails tighter still, focusing on the pain. The pain would keep her safe. The pain always kept her safe.
"Kara. Look at me."
Lee rested his hand against one of hers and that was all it took. She let go of the railings, her body flowing on auto-pilot now. She thought a prayer to the Gods, hoping that he would eventually forgive her. She turned in place, careful to keep their bodies still lightly touching. Meeting Lee's eyes, Kara ran a finger slowly up his leg, stopping at his left hip bone.
"Zak had a scar..."
She applied more pressure, using the palm of her hand.
"...right here on the sweet spot of his hip."
Kara watched with satisfaction as Lee closed his eyes and swallowed hard before he spoke, his voice dropping at least an octave.
"He fell off Dad's viper when we were kids. Cracked the bone."
"Nice bone....Zak's, that is."
Lee opened his eyes at the tone shift in Kara's voice.
"Starbuck?"
Kara used her hips to push him back just enough to turn them around and trap Lee against the railing with her body.
"Is this what you want, Apollo?"
She brushed her lips lightly against his neck. He shivered.
"To know what it's like to frak your dead brother's lover?"
Lee pushed her away roughly.
"Don't."
"Don't what? Help you satisfy some sick curiosity?"
Kara took several steps backward, keeping the distance between them.
"This isn't about Zak, Starbuck. I won't let you use him to pick a fight with me."
Bad. This was going bad. She needed irrational Apollo, not seeing right through her Apollo. She could always hit him. Or tell him the truth.
"You come up here and tell me that the Old Man is gonna make...."
She stopped, turning away to stare at the bulkhead. Truth. Bad idea.
"Is that what you think? He'd made it an order? That I came up here because he ordered me to?"
Lee shook his head and laughed harshly. She turned at the sound.
"Gods, you're an idiot."
He moved closer. She backed up, kept backing up until she hit bulkhead. He stopped.
"Don't tell me you can't find someone else to frak, Lee. A hot jockey like you."
"It's not working, Kara."
Panic set in again. Real panic this time. She threw down her trump card, imploring the Gods to cut her some slack just this once.
"I don't think Gaius is the sharing type, but I guess you could ask him."
At the mention of Baltar's name, Lee's entire body tensed. Kara thought things were finally looking up. She watched him breath deeply, fighting for control.
"If I thought he mattered to you, I would."
She really should just stop thinking. It tended to end badly. Lee took another step forward, putting himself just out of arm's reach.
"Don't tell me you haven't thought about it, Kara. Thought about...us."
He started to move forward. Feeling completely caged, Kara did the only thing that made sense. She drew her gun, leveling it at his chest. He walked into it, stopping only because she stiffened her outstretched arm.
"You gonna shoot me, Starbuck?"
She could barely hear his calm, confident voice over the blood roaring in her brain. She watched him reach a hand up to her right wrist, applying pressure and turning the gun inward and away. He closed in at the same time, using his body and other arm to block her in, pinning her gun hand against the bulkhead. He locked his eyes on hers.
"You aren't afraid of being ordered to help repopulate the fleet."
She wanted to look away but couldn't. She settled for testing his hold on her, moving slightly under his grip. He shifted his weight, pushing his hips against hers, adjusting his balance better. She was drowning in his eyes and made a last ditch attempt at scorn.
"Because the idea of being forced to breed is just so appealing."
"You're afraid of what would happen if I kissed you."
Frak. She hated it when he was right. Sarcasm coming online.
"How do you get your canopy closed with all that ego?"
He smiled. The bastard actually smiled. He also tightened his grip on her arms. She was toast and they both knew it. She wanted this more than anything she'd ever wanted in her life. Wanted him more than she'd wanted Zak. That thought stopped her short. Her love for Zak had killed him. She couldn't take that chance with Lee. She wouldn't risk her doing something stupid that would make him angry, make him lose focus, let him make a mistake out there and get himself killed. Losing him would destroy her.
"Don't do this, Apollo."
He wasn't smiling anymore. His eyes were darker than she'd ever seen them. He leaned in, whispered her name.
"Lee, please."
He ignored her, brushed his lips against hers, felt their bodies react. He kissed her again, more fully, but still gently. When she didn't stop him, he kissed her harder, shifted his weight and drew her against him, away from the bulkhead, still careful to keep control of her gun hand by gently moving it behind her back. The part of her mind not drowning in a sea of Lee was amused by his caution. She could feel her defenses drop, and apparently so could he. The kiss became deeper, almost desperate, her body doing its best to meld with his. Her heartbeat screamed in her head, loud and insistent. It sounded like a....klaxon? Without warning, Lee shoved them against the bulkhead, freeing her hands so he could take her face in his. He crushed his lips to hers. Her brain tried to latch onto a sound she kept hearing, scattered bits of not Lee's voice.
DRADIS contact....Not a drill....Set condition one....
"Frak."
The sheer venom in Lee's voice snapped her back to reality. They were under attack. He still held her face in his hands, the want in his eyes made him more vulnerable than she'd ever seen him.
"This conversation isn't over, Kara."
He let go so quickly she almost lost her balance. They were both breathing hard. He reached the floor hatch in two steps, jerked it open and started to climb down, pausing only to confirm that she was following. They both knew she would be.
insert the usual disclaimers here.
rating: uhm.....it's not porn?
edited for the letter 'c'.
"You did not just say that."
Kara could feel her fingers going cold and tingly as she tried to cover the hitch in her breathing when she spoke. She wouldn't turn, couldn't turn, couldn't look at him. She was so not looking into those eyes. She tried to focus on Zak. Zak was good, kept the wall up, kept her distant. Kept her safe. Safe was good. She could ignore the part about Zak being dead, it being her fault, her being selfish and stupid and getting him killed. She needed safe now. Clung to safe. Lee wasn't safe. Safe was walking away right now, holing up in her bunk and getting tanked. That was safe. Lee was a base station-sized disaster waiting to happen.
"Kara."
She could feel him move closer, heard the intrigued fear in his voice. He was as terrified as she was, but apparently not enough to keep his stupid mouth shut, or his hand from gently brushing her shoulder. She tried to ignore the backflips in her stomach at the sound of her name on his lips.
"Would it be so..."
His voice trailed off as he leaned in behind her, so close she could feel the heat from his body.
His body.
Math. She'd do math. Gas/Volume conversions. True wind calculations. Wait, they were in space. Whatever. Whatever would keep her mind focused on something other than...did he just smell her hair? Frak. Frak. She could feel the klaxon going off in her head all the way down to her toes. Where was an ejection seat when you needed one? She started to panic. Her mind was about a split second away from shifting into auto-defense mode and if that happened it was gonna get ugly fast.
"Kara. Just think about it. That's all I'm asking."
Lee'd found her in their favorite spot on the ship, the astronomy dome high above Galactica's engine room. It was quiet when the hatch was closed, reducing the ear-splitting rumble of the engines down to a muffled vibration that was strangely calming. Nobody ever went up there. She didn't even think anyone knew about it. They'd spent hours up there together after they'd been forced to take out the Olympic Carrier. Lee was having nightmares about it. The pain she'd seen in his eyes made her heart hurt.
Kara stared at her hands. She was clutching the safety railing so hard her knuckles were white. She gripped the rails tighter still, focusing on the pain. The pain would keep her safe. The pain always kept her safe.
"Kara. Look at me."
Lee rested his hand against one of hers and that was all it took. She let go of the railings, her body flowing on auto-pilot now. She thought a prayer to the Gods, hoping that he would eventually forgive her. She turned in place, careful to keep their bodies still lightly touching. Meeting Lee's eyes, Kara ran a finger slowly up his leg, stopping at his left hip bone.
"Zak had a scar..."
She applied more pressure, using the palm of her hand.
"...right here on the sweet spot of his hip."
Kara watched with satisfaction as Lee closed his eyes and swallowed hard before he spoke, his voice dropping at least an octave.
"He fell off Dad's viper when we were kids. Cracked the bone."
"Nice bone....Zak's, that is."
Lee opened his eyes at the tone shift in Kara's voice.
"Starbuck?"
Kara used her hips to push him back just enough to turn them around and trap Lee against the railing with her body.
"Is this what you want, Apollo?"
She brushed her lips lightly against his neck. He shivered.
"To know what it's like to frak your dead brother's lover?"
Lee pushed her away roughly.
"Don't."
"Don't what? Help you satisfy some sick curiosity?"
Kara took several steps backward, keeping the distance between them.
"This isn't about Zak, Starbuck. I won't let you use him to pick a fight with me."
Bad. This was going bad. She needed irrational Apollo, not seeing right through her Apollo. She could always hit him. Or tell him the truth.
"You come up here and tell me that the Old Man is gonna make...."
She stopped, turning away to stare at the bulkhead. Truth. Bad idea.
"Is that what you think? He'd made it an order? That I came up here because he ordered me to?"
Lee shook his head and laughed harshly. She turned at the sound.
"Gods, you're an idiot."
He moved closer. She backed up, kept backing up until she hit bulkhead. He stopped.
"Don't tell me you can't find someone else to frak, Lee. A hot jockey like you."
"It's not working, Kara."
Panic set in again. Real panic this time. She threw down her trump card, imploring the Gods to cut her some slack just this once.
"I don't think Gaius is the sharing type, but I guess you could ask him."
At the mention of Baltar's name, Lee's entire body tensed. Kara thought things were finally looking up. She watched him breath deeply, fighting for control.
"If I thought he mattered to you, I would."
She really should just stop thinking. It tended to end badly. Lee took another step forward, putting himself just out of arm's reach.
"Don't tell me you haven't thought about it, Kara. Thought about...us."
He started to move forward. Feeling completely caged, Kara did the only thing that made sense. She drew her gun, leveling it at his chest. He walked into it, stopping only because she stiffened her outstretched arm.
"You gonna shoot me, Starbuck?"
She could barely hear his calm, confident voice over the blood roaring in her brain. She watched him reach a hand up to her right wrist, applying pressure and turning the gun inward and away. He closed in at the same time, using his body and other arm to block her in, pinning her gun hand against the bulkhead. He locked his eyes on hers.
"You aren't afraid of being ordered to help repopulate the fleet."
She wanted to look away but couldn't. She settled for testing his hold on her, moving slightly under his grip. He shifted his weight, pushing his hips against hers, adjusting his balance better. She was drowning in his eyes and made a last ditch attempt at scorn.
"Because the idea of being forced to breed is just so appealing."
"You're afraid of what would happen if I kissed you."
Frak. She hated it when he was right. Sarcasm coming online.
"How do you get your canopy closed with all that ego?"
He smiled. The bastard actually smiled. He also tightened his grip on her arms. She was toast and they both knew it. She wanted this more than anything she'd ever wanted in her life. Wanted him more than she'd wanted Zak. That thought stopped her short. Her love for Zak had killed him. She couldn't take that chance with Lee. She wouldn't risk her doing something stupid that would make him angry, make him lose focus, let him make a mistake out there and get himself killed. Losing him would destroy her.
"Don't do this, Apollo."
He wasn't smiling anymore. His eyes were darker than she'd ever seen them. He leaned in, whispered her name.
"Lee, please."
He ignored her, brushed his lips against hers, felt their bodies react. He kissed her again, more fully, but still gently. When she didn't stop him, he kissed her harder, shifted his weight and drew her against him, away from the bulkhead, still careful to keep control of her gun hand by gently moving it behind her back. The part of her mind not drowning in a sea of Lee was amused by his caution. She could feel her defenses drop, and apparently so could he. The kiss became deeper, almost desperate, her body doing its best to meld with his. Her heartbeat screamed in her head, loud and insistent. It sounded like a....klaxon? Without warning, Lee shoved them against the bulkhead, freeing her hands so he could take her face in his. He crushed his lips to hers. Her brain tried to latch onto a sound she kept hearing, scattered bits of not Lee's voice.
DRADIS contact....Not a drill....Set condition one....
"Frak."
The sheer venom in Lee's voice snapped her back to reality. They were under attack. He still held her face in his hands, the want in his eyes made him more vulnerable than she'd ever seen him.
"This conversation isn't over, Kara."
He let go so quickly she almost lost her balance. They were both breathing hard. He reached the floor hatch in two steps, jerked it open and started to climb down, pausing only to confirm that she was following. They both knew she would be.