what you're relying on will lead you home (1/1)
Title: what you're relying on will lead you home
Author: somehowunbroken
Fandom: H50
Characters: Steve/Danny
Word Count: 1,818
Rating: NC-17/rimming and emotional, emotional sex
Notes: I've read a lot of really good h/c d/s fics in this fandom, which got me thinking about Steve And His Issues while listening to The Weakerthans, and somehow all that got messed about in my head til I came up with this, which is still h/c but not nearly as d/s as I thought it might turn out. Not really at all, actually.
Summary: Danny knows what Steve needs, even if Steve doesn't.
Steve is waiting on the edge of the bed when Danny finally makes his way into their bedroom. He’s naked, which Danny was expecting, but the cuffs are out, lying on the bed beside Steve’s thigh. Danny pauses in the doorway, taking in the sight and its connotations. He’s sure that Steve knows he’s here; he rarely misses anything anyway, and he’s probably been sitting just like this since he came up here half an hour ago.
Finally, he makes his way over to kneel in the space between Steve’s knees. “What do you need, babe?”
Steve fingers the soft leather of the cuffs as he picks them up, then hands them to Danny, all without meeting his eyes. “Please,” he says, and it’s trembling, shaky, like he has no idea what else to say.
Danny closes his eyes and bows his head for a moment. The case had been tough, and it isn’t hard to see that Steve has carried more away from this one than he normally tends to. He blames himself for every little hitch and hiccup in their plans, everything that goes wrong, that’s not new - but this, this breaking, it’s not as normal. This is reserved for the things that Steve can’t process or hide from, these things he has to ask Danny to fix for him.
Danny knows the motivation even if he doesn’t understand the reasoning, and he knows he’s the only one that Steve’s ever trusted with this. It’s a lot to bear, giving Steve what he needs to move on, but Danny’s doing his best. They both are.
Today, though, this case - it’s giving Danny a lot of information right now, the way things had gone down, how Steve’s reacting, and Danny needs a minute. He needs a little time to think, to plan, to figure out what it is that Steve needs when he doesn’t even have the words to ask for it. Danny drops one of the cuffs to Steve’s thigh and rubs the other with his thumb, reaching for Steve’s wrist with his other hand. He takes his time fastening the cuff, loose enough to be comfortable but tight enough to be present, and then repeats his actions with the other.
As soon as they’re both on, Steve sighs and lets his shoulders slump, like he’s been given some sort of permission to relax for the first time in ages. He doesn’t look up when Danny rises, not that Danny was expecting him to; this is Steve’s way of giving up control, of just letting things happen without having to affect them in any way. He sits still as Danny walks into the bathroom and shuts the door, giving himself time and space to think.
He stays in there a few minutes, washing his hands and drying them carefully, his mind on the man sitting on the bed in the next room. Steve’s got issues, that’s never been a secret, but sometimes Danny wants to find a way to crawl into his past and shake the people who put them there, the ones who still make Steve feel like he’s always doing just shy of enough.
Danny closes his eyes and exhales, thinking the case through again. He knows what Steve thinks he needs, but there’s a sudden, burning clarity on the difference between what Steve thinks he needs and what Steve actually needs, and hey, if Danny can’t travel back in time to nip Steve’s issues in the bud, maybe he can work on smoothing them out now.
“Okay,” Danny says as he opens the door and walks back to the bed, “okay babe, up on the bed.”
Steve scoots back and lies in the middle of the mattress, arms above his head, waiting for Danny to link the cuffs together and fasten them to the headboard, but Danny shakes his head and reaches over Steve’s body, tugging a box from beneath the bed. He finds the ropes easily enough and pulls them out, laying them across Steve’s torso as he settles a hand on Steve’s thigh. “Hand,” he instructs softly, and when Steve reaches towards him without hesitating, Danny holds Steve’s arm out straight and hooks his knee over it. He pulls Steve’s wrist up and attaches the rope, fastening one end to the cuff and the other to the hook in the headboard. He repeats the process with Steve’s other leg, threading his arm through and tying it up, and when he’s done, Steve is holding his own legs up and away from his body, baring himself completely.
Danny takes his time touching Steve, running his fingers across his thighs and biceps, trailing across his torso, tracing his jaw, his cheekbones. Steve just watches him intently, following Danny’s fingers with his eyes. Danny finally sighs and presses a kiss to the inside of Steve’s thigh. “Steve.”
Steve’s eyes lock on Danny’s instantly, and he’s hyper-focused, tense. Waiting.
“I trust you,” Danny says simply, and then he leans down and takes Steve’s cock into his mouth, using fingers and tongue and lips to bring Steve to the edge and over - simple, uncomplicated pleasure, release, and when he looks up at Steve’s face, he’s surprised to find his eyes tightly shut, chest heaving, moisture at the corners of his eyes.
“I trust you,” Danny breathes against Steve’s thigh, moving so he can slide up between Steve’s legs and lean on his arms, hovering above Steve’s face. “Babe.”
“Danny,” Steve says in response, and it’s agonized, choked out. “Danny.”
Danny leans down and kisses him softly, openly, until Steve’s eyes open and meet Danny’s again. Danny shifts his weight so he’s leaning on one arm and reaches up with his other hand and cups Steve’s face. “With me?”
Steve turns his head and presses a kiss to Danny’s palm. “M’here.”
“Good,” Danny replies softly, sliding back down Steve’s body.
Danny starts at where Steve’s knee rests in the crook of his elbow, kissing every inch of skin he can reach, grounding Steve even as he tries his best to help him let go. He moves slowly, down one leg and up the other, running his hand soothingly up Steve’s thigh as he goes. He goes all the way to the end of Steve’s leg, pressing a kiss to the ball of his ankle before sinking back down to the bed.
Steve’s breathing hitches when Danny moves his mouth across the space where thigh shifts into hip, and he lets out a strangled sound when Danny runs his tongue along the same line. Danny works his way back evenly, slowly. He waits, hovering, until Steve chokes his name out, and then he laps against Steve’s entrance again and again, pressing in further and further until Steve’s making soft, trembling noises like he can’t help himself. Danny fumbles in his pocket until he finds the lube he’d grabbed from the bathroom earlier, and he slicks his fingers and sinks one in beside his tongue. He keeps going as Steve shudders and writhes and keens, until he’s moving three fingers smoothly in and out and Steve looks like he doesn’t know anything but Danny.
Danny sits up, wiping his mouth on his sleeve before peeling out of his clothing. He reaches around Steve to unhook the ropes and gently lowers his legs, unfastening the cuffs and tossing them to the floor. Steve moves his hands as soon as they’re free, tugging at Danny until he’s sprawled over Steve’s body, meeting his mouth in a sloppy, uncoordinated kiss that’s entirely them, both pouring into it things they’re not sure how to say.
“Danny,” Steve gasps into his mouth, and Danny kisses him again and again as he slicks himself up and slides smoothly into place, inhaling every sound that Steve makes as he rocks them together, sweet and slow and kind of perfect. He curls one hand around Steve’s cock and tangles his other with Steve’s hand, holding on as they move together. Steve’s free hand comes up to tangle in Danny’s hair, holding their faces together as Steve shakes apart. Danny speeds up, moving his hips and his hand in counterpoint, and it’s not long before Steve is tensing and coming again, clenching and rippling and drawing in something between a breath and a sob as he pulls Danny’s head down to his shoulder and buries his own face in Danny’s neck. Danny moves his hips a few more times and then stiffens, panting into Steve’s shoulder as he comes.
Danny leans away for long enough to find something on the floor before he’s rolling back, cleaning the mess from Steve’s stomach with gentle hands. Task finished, he lies beside his partner, resting his head on Steve’s chest and waiting.
Steve’s arm curls around Danny’s shoulders, locking them together as he presses his face into Danny’s hair. It’s a few more minutes before he clears his throat and speaks. “I got a cop killed today.”
“You saved nineteen lives today,” Danny counters quietly.
“But I got a cop killed in the process.”
Danny nods slightly against Steve’s chest. “A cop died, yeah, but that was hardly your fault.”
“Danny,” Steve says, and it’s that broken, lost tone that twists Danny up inside, like he wants so badly to believe what he’s hearing but knows it isn’t true. “He was following my orders.”
“Steve,” Danny says gently, tilting his head so he can look up into his partner’s face. “He was a cop. He knew the risks of the job, just like you do, just like I do.” He leans up so he can kiss Steve’s chin. “This was not your fault.”
“But-”
“You saved nineteen lives today, Steve,” Danny says again. “Nineteen people who went home to their families, nineteen people who don’t have to become statistics, nineteen people, and the one man we lost died a hero. He’ll be remembered, he’ll be mourned. And yeah, it’s not okay, it’s not all right, but at the end of the day, babe, you can’t take this on. You can’t carry this with you.”
Steve doesn’t respond, and Danny sets his head back down, listening to the heartbeat beneath his ear. Several long moments stretch out.
“His wife thanked me,” Steve finally says.
“I know,” Danny replies quietly.
“She hugged me and thanked me.”
“I know, babe,” Danny says, tracing his thumb absently along Steve’s stomach, feeling the roll and play of muscle beneath his hand. “I know.”
Steve sighs, but Danny can feel him slump a little more into the mattress, can feel the way he presses a kiss against Danny’s scalp. His arm tightens around Danny’s shoulders and Danny’s stretches across his stomach and holds on, a weird sort of hug, but it’s them holding on to each other instead of their demons, and as they drift off together, Danny thinks sleepily that he just might have actually helped.
Author: somehowunbroken
Fandom: H50
Characters: Steve/Danny
Word Count: 1,818
Rating: NC-17/rimming and emotional, emotional sex
Notes: I've read a lot of really good h/c d/s fics in this fandom, which got me thinking about Steve And His Issues while listening to The Weakerthans, and somehow all that got messed about in my head til I came up with this, which is still h/c but not nearly as d/s as I thought it might turn out. Not really at all, actually.
Summary: Danny knows what Steve needs, even if Steve doesn't.
Steve is waiting on the edge of the bed when Danny finally makes his way into their bedroom. He’s naked, which Danny was expecting, but the cuffs are out, lying on the bed beside Steve’s thigh. Danny pauses in the doorway, taking in the sight and its connotations. He’s sure that Steve knows he’s here; he rarely misses anything anyway, and he’s probably been sitting just like this since he came up here half an hour ago.
Finally, he makes his way over to kneel in the space between Steve’s knees. “What do you need, babe?”
Steve fingers the soft leather of the cuffs as he picks them up, then hands them to Danny, all without meeting his eyes. “Please,” he says, and it’s trembling, shaky, like he has no idea what else to say.
Danny closes his eyes and bows his head for a moment. The case had been tough, and it isn’t hard to see that Steve has carried more away from this one than he normally tends to. He blames himself for every little hitch and hiccup in their plans, everything that goes wrong, that’s not new - but this, this breaking, it’s not as normal. This is reserved for the things that Steve can’t process or hide from, these things he has to ask Danny to fix for him.
Danny knows the motivation even if he doesn’t understand the reasoning, and he knows he’s the only one that Steve’s ever trusted with this. It’s a lot to bear, giving Steve what he needs to move on, but Danny’s doing his best. They both are.
Today, though, this case - it’s giving Danny a lot of information right now, the way things had gone down, how Steve’s reacting, and Danny needs a minute. He needs a little time to think, to plan, to figure out what it is that Steve needs when he doesn’t even have the words to ask for it. Danny drops one of the cuffs to Steve’s thigh and rubs the other with his thumb, reaching for Steve’s wrist with his other hand. He takes his time fastening the cuff, loose enough to be comfortable but tight enough to be present, and then repeats his actions with the other.
As soon as they’re both on, Steve sighs and lets his shoulders slump, like he’s been given some sort of permission to relax for the first time in ages. He doesn’t look up when Danny rises, not that Danny was expecting him to; this is Steve’s way of giving up control, of just letting things happen without having to affect them in any way. He sits still as Danny walks into the bathroom and shuts the door, giving himself time and space to think.
He stays in there a few minutes, washing his hands and drying them carefully, his mind on the man sitting on the bed in the next room. Steve’s got issues, that’s never been a secret, but sometimes Danny wants to find a way to crawl into his past and shake the people who put them there, the ones who still make Steve feel like he’s always doing just shy of enough.
Danny closes his eyes and exhales, thinking the case through again. He knows what Steve thinks he needs, but there’s a sudden, burning clarity on the difference between what Steve thinks he needs and what Steve actually needs, and hey, if Danny can’t travel back in time to nip Steve’s issues in the bud, maybe he can work on smoothing them out now.
“Okay,” Danny says as he opens the door and walks back to the bed, “okay babe, up on the bed.”
Steve scoots back and lies in the middle of the mattress, arms above his head, waiting for Danny to link the cuffs together and fasten them to the headboard, but Danny shakes his head and reaches over Steve’s body, tugging a box from beneath the bed. He finds the ropes easily enough and pulls them out, laying them across Steve’s torso as he settles a hand on Steve’s thigh. “Hand,” he instructs softly, and when Steve reaches towards him without hesitating, Danny holds Steve’s arm out straight and hooks his knee over it. He pulls Steve’s wrist up and attaches the rope, fastening one end to the cuff and the other to the hook in the headboard. He repeats the process with Steve’s other leg, threading his arm through and tying it up, and when he’s done, Steve is holding his own legs up and away from his body, baring himself completely.
Danny takes his time touching Steve, running his fingers across his thighs and biceps, trailing across his torso, tracing his jaw, his cheekbones. Steve just watches him intently, following Danny’s fingers with his eyes. Danny finally sighs and presses a kiss to the inside of Steve’s thigh. “Steve.”
Steve’s eyes lock on Danny’s instantly, and he’s hyper-focused, tense. Waiting.
“I trust you,” Danny says simply, and then he leans down and takes Steve’s cock into his mouth, using fingers and tongue and lips to bring Steve to the edge and over - simple, uncomplicated pleasure, release, and when he looks up at Steve’s face, he’s surprised to find his eyes tightly shut, chest heaving, moisture at the corners of his eyes.
“I trust you,” Danny breathes against Steve’s thigh, moving so he can slide up between Steve’s legs and lean on his arms, hovering above Steve’s face. “Babe.”
“Danny,” Steve says in response, and it’s agonized, choked out. “Danny.”
Danny leans down and kisses him softly, openly, until Steve’s eyes open and meet Danny’s again. Danny shifts his weight so he’s leaning on one arm and reaches up with his other hand and cups Steve’s face. “With me?”
Steve turns his head and presses a kiss to Danny’s palm. “M’here.”
“Good,” Danny replies softly, sliding back down Steve’s body.
Danny starts at where Steve’s knee rests in the crook of his elbow, kissing every inch of skin he can reach, grounding Steve even as he tries his best to help him let go. He moves slowly, down one leg and up the other, running his hand soothingly up Steve’s thigh as he goes. He goes all the way to the end of Steve’s leg, pressing a kiss to the ball of his ankle before sinking back down to the bed.
Steve’s breathing hitches when Danny moves his mouth across the space where thigh shifts into hip, and he lets out a strangled sound when Danny runs his tongue along the same line. Danny works his way back evenly, slowly. He waits, hovering, until Steve chokes his name out, and then he laps against Steve’s entrance again and again, pressing in further and further until Steve’s making soft, trembling noises like he can’t help himself. Danny fumbles in his pocket until he finds the lube he’d grabbed from the bathroom earlier, and he slicks his fingers and sinks one in beside his tongue. He keeps going as Steve shudders and writhes and keens, until he’s moving three fingers smoothly in and out and Steve looks like he doesn’t know anything but Danny.
Danny sits up, wiping his mouth on his sleeve before peeling out of his clothing. He reaches around Steve to unhook the ropes and gently lowers his legs, unfastening the cuffs and tossing them to the floor. Steve moves his hands as soon as they’re free, tugging at Danny until he’s sprawled over Steve’s body, meeting his mouth in a sloppy, uncoordinated kiss that’s entirely them, both pouring into it things they’re not sure how to say.
“Danny,” Steve gasps into his mouth, and Danny kisses him again and again as he slicks himself up and slides smoothly into place, inhaling every sound that Steve makes as he rocks them together, sweet and slow and kind of perfect. He curls one hand around Steve’s cock and tangles his other with Steve’s hand, holding on as they move together. Steve’s free hand comes up to tangle in Danny’s hair, holding their faces together as Steve shakes apart. Danny speeds up, moving his hips and his hand in counterpoint, and it’s not long before Steve is tensing and coming again, clenching and rippling and drawing in something between a breath and a sob as he pulls Danny’s head down to his shoulder and buries his own face in Danny’s neck. Danny moves his hips a few more times and then stiffens, panting into Steve’s shoulder as he comes.
Danny leans away for long enough to find something on the floor before he’s rolling back, cleaning the mess from Steve’s stomach with gentle hands. Task finished, he lies beside his partner, resting his head on Steve’s chest and waiting.
Steve’s arm curls around Danny’s shoulders, locking them together as he presses his face into Danny’s hair. It’s a few more minutes before he clears his throat and speaks. “I got a cop killed today.”
“You saved nineteen lives today,” Danny counters quietly.
“But I got a cop killed in the process.”
Danny nods slightly against Steve’s chest. “A cop died, yeah, but that was hardly your fault.”
“Danny,” Steve says, and it’s that broken, lost tone that twists Danny up inside, like he wants so badly to believe what he’s hearing but knows it isn’t true. “He was following my orders.”
“Steve,” Danny says gently, tilting his head so he can look up into his partner’s face. “He was a cop. He knew the risks of the job, just like you do, just like I do.” He leans up so he can kiss Steve’s chin. “This was not your fault.”
“But-”
“You saved nineteen lives today, Steve,” Danny says again. “Nineteen people who went home to their families, nineteen people who don’t have to become statistics, nineteen people, and the one man we lost died a hero. He’ll be remembered, he’ll be mourned. And yeah, it’s not okay, it’s not all right, but at the end of the day, babe, you can’t take this on. You can’t carry this with you.”
Steve doesn’t respond, and Danny sets his head back down, listening to the heartbeat beneath his ear. Several long moments stretch out.
“His wife thanked me,” Steve finally says.
“I know,” Danny replies quietly.
“She hugged me and thanked me.”
“I know, babe,” Danny says, tracing his thumb absently along Steve’s stomach, feeling the roll and play of muscle beneath his hand. “I know.”
Steve sighs, but Danny can feel him slump a little more into the mattress, can feel the way he presses a kiss against Danny’s scalp. His arm tightens around Danny’s shoulders and Danny’s stretches across his stomach and holds on, a weird sort of hug, but it’s them holding on to each other instead of their demons, and as they drift off together, Danny thinks sleepily that he just might have actually helped.