Title: still be around when the sun comes up
Author:
somehowunbroken Fandom: H50
Characters: Steve/Danny
Word Count: 2,701
Rating: NC-17
Notes: For
kink_bingo 2011: obedience. You have been warned.
Summary: Danny has to figure out how to convince Steve that he's serious about this.
The conversation plays over and over in Danny's head. He can't get that look on Steve's face out of his head, the earnestness in his voice when he'd said how sorry he was, how much Steve had looked like he wanted nothing more than to crawl into the passenger seat and hold one of Danny's hands as he drove. It's not like Danny hadn't known that he is, whether Steve knows it or not, close to the center of Steve's world. It's just that the confirmation of it is like a kick to the chest. Steve had been in pain, ducking low in the backseat because he'd been running from the police - who had standing orders to shoot Steve on sight if they caught him, to take him alive if possible but to kill him if he resisted - and still, his concern had been for Danny, and for Danny's happiness.
And the real zinger is that Danny knows that it's true - that Steve wants Danny to be happy, no matter what, even if it's at direct odds with his own happiness. Steve is seemingly blind to the fact that Danny knows there's something between them, has always known it; it's been easier to ignore than to address, and maybe that's part of the reason that getting back with Rachel had been so attractive. It's another smack upside Danny's head, and he wants to stop thinking about it, about how he's such a selfish bastard and he keeps fucking up everyone else's happiness to try to find his own. He keeps failing, too, because Steve is pasting on a happy face to cover how much he wants to keep Danny here, Rachel is going to try to patch things up with Stan but there are no guarantees because Stan knows what Danny had done, and at the end of the day, Danny isn't happy either.
It has to change, Danny realizes. He has to stop, has to really think about everything, and he has to figure out a way to make things work.
It ends up being both easier and harder than Danny was anticipating. His opportunity practically waltzes in and sits in his lap that very night; he's sitting on Steve's lanai, beer in hand, talking about everything and nothing in particular when Steve brings it up. "I'm really sorry about Rachel, Danny. I thought you were finally getting that chance you were looking for."
Danny takes a deep breath. "I'm okay," he says after letting it out. "I'm not great, babe, but I'm okay." Steve nods, a half-smile on his face, so Danny bites the inside of his cheek and plunges on. "Thanks for giving a damn, though. It means a lot."
Steve's entire presence seems to morph. He barely moves, but suddenly he seems much closer, and his face is a repeat of his earlier earnest expression. "Hey, man, I want you to be happy," he says softly. "If anyone deserves it, it's you."
"It's you, too," Danny replies before he can chicken out of it.
Steve actually flinches back from the words, an astonished expression on his face. "What?"
Danny wants to laugh, except it isn't really funny. "I'm very thankful that you want me to be happy. I just wish you thought that you deserved the kind of thing I want, too."
"I-" Steve starts, but he lets it hang there. He's starting to look panicked, which isn't at all what Danny was aiming for. "I don't know what you mean."
"Babe," Danny sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, okay? I fucked up."
Confusion joins the panic on Steve's face. "I don't-"
"This," Danny says, gesturing between them. "You and me. I'm not blind. Ignorant, yes, and maybe willfully not seeing what's right in front of my face, but not blind."
"Ah." Now Steve just looks nervous. He's pressed all the way against the opposite side of the chair, and Danny is pretty sure that it's only his pride that's keeping him from getting up and walking straight into the ocean to swim until he can't move any more. "Look, Danny, I'm sorry, okay? It won't - I mean, I can just-"
"Wait, wait, wait," Danny says, cutting Steve off. "When I said 'I fucked up,' I didn't mean - Christ, your mind boggles me sometimes." Danny sighs and runs his hand across his face. "I should never have run back to Rachel. I should have taken what was right in front of me instead of being too afraid to get what I wanted. Everyone would have been a lot happier, and I feel like a lot of the trouble we've all been through in the last three months could have been avoided if I had just come here when Matt left instead of going to Rachel’s."
Steve's expression is shifting so quickly that Danny is having trouble keeping track of everything going across his face. "So if I said that I would rather be the one to make you happy-"
"-I'd say that I was an idiot to say no the first time," Danny finishes softly. "And that now is not the best time for this, and I realize that, but that I think we might be able to make this work."
Steve slumps down in his chair, and there's no mistaking the relief radiating from him. "You have no idea how much I wanted to hear you say that, Danny."
"I can probably make an educated guess," Danny says without a hint of sarcasm. "I'm wondering, though. Do you really get it?"
Steve glances sideways at him. "I don't think I'm misunderstanding you, but I can paraphrase if you'd like to make sure."
"No," Danny says, shaking his head. "I will state for the record that yes, I understand that you want me, and that yes, I want you, too. That's not what I'm talking about."
The confusion is back. "Then I'm going to have to ask for clarification," Steve says after a minute. "I'm pretty sure we're on the same page here, but I think you might be a little ahead of me."
"I want you to be happy just as much as you want me to be happy," Danny says, carefully emphasizing each word. "I'd like to say I want it more, but I know how you get, so I'm not sure that's true. But, babe," Danny says, reaching out to touch Steve's hand, "if anyone deserves to get something that they want in their life, it's you."
There's a minute of complete silence. Steve stares at Danny, hardly even blinking, and he eventually swallows hard and glances away. "Danny-"
"I don't know how to convince you," Danny interrupts, "but I'm going to figure it out, and I'm going to get you to believe it, Steve. Your happiness is no less important than mine, and yeah, I'd like the chance to be the one who makes you happy."
Steve smiles a little unsteadily and shrugs. He's aiming for casual, Danny can tell, but he's not getting anywhere close. "You could kiss me," he suggests.
"It's a start," Danny agrees. He swings his legs over the side of his chair and bends across the space between them, catching Steve’s face in his hands. He leans in slowly, keeping his eyes on Steve’s for so long that his eyes nearly cross before closing them and brushing their lips together. It’s gentle, just a brush of lips against lips; when Danny does it a second time, Steve lets out a breath and hauls Danny across the space between the chairs and into his lap. Danny lets out a startled laugh as he settles, leaning in when Steve buries a hand in Danny’s hair and tilts his face. There’s nothing gentle about it now, not in the way Steve is pushing his tongue into Danny’s mouth or how he’s holding Danny’s head or how his other hand is squeezing Danny’s ass.
“Danny,” Steve gasps, pulling back abruptly and pushing Danny away without actually letting him go. It takes Danny a few seconds to get his head clear, but between the hungry look in Steve’s eyes and the way he’s trying to keep Danny at least six inches from him, Danny can guess what the issue is. He grabs one of Steve’s hands and presses it to the tent in his own pants, only just keeping himself from groaning as Steve rubs his hand across the length.
“I want this,” he repeats. “I want you. Okay?”
“Would you-” Steve glances away, and there’s a delicate sort of flush staining his cheeks. Danny grabs Steve’s chin in his hands and waits until Steve meets his eyes before leaning in to kiss him again.
“Whatever you want,” Danny promises. “I’m all yours, babe. Ask me anything.”
Steve shudders beneath him at the words, but he nods and reaches out to lay his hands against Danny’s chest. “Let me see you,” he says softly, resting his fingers on the top button of Danny’s shirt. At Danny’s nod, Steve slips the button free of its hole, revealing a patch of skin. Steve’s eyes focus on his fingers as he works his way down, baring more and more of Danny’s chest to the air with each button undone. When he finishes, Steve raises his eyes and stares. His fingers twist in the ends of Danny’s shirt; he reaches up after a minute and pushes the shirt from Danny’s shoulders entirely.
“Look at you,” Steve says, sounding a little awed. “No wonder you keep your shirt and tie on all the time. Nobody would ever get anything done if you showed this off.”
Danny can’t help the snort of laughter. “They do okay with you stripping every other day.”
Steve shakes his head and grins a little. “That’s different.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s not,” Danny says, amused. “But hey, whatever you say goes tonight, so if you want it to be different, I have no choice but to agree.”
Steve’s face lights with an unholy glee for a moment. “Oh, the things I could get you to agree to-”
“Don’t push your luck,” Danny warns, but Steve is laughing as he leans in to press his mouth to Danny’s chest. Danny sucks in a quick breath; his hands are itching to reach out and grab at Steve, to direct his attention, but this isn’t Danny’s show. He keeps his hands at his sides, palms pressed against his thighs, as Steve’s mouth wanders from one nipple to the other.
Steve looks up when Danny inhales sharply. “I didn’t picture you to be the quiet type,” he muses. “I figured you wouldn’t shut up.”
“You’ve given this a lot of thought,” Danny says dryly. Steve just shrugs, not apologetic in the slightest. “You want to hear me, is that it?”
Steve nods once before leaning back in. He pauses with his mouth an inch from Danny’s skin and looks up. “Danny?”
“Yeah?”
“Touch me,” Steve breathes, and then he leans forward to bite lightly at Danny’s nipple.
Danny groans and sinks his hands into Steve’s hair. “God, your mouth,” he sighs. “I don’t think I could really explain to you how much I have wanted to get your mouth on me.”
Steve licks at Danny’s chest and blows across it thoughtfully. “I don’t think you really need to explain that one to me.”
“Fair point,” Danny agrees with a shiver. “I would really love to be kissing you right about now.”
“That can be arranged,” Steve says, grinning as he leans up to press their mouths together. “Danny?”
“Hm,” Danny mumbles against Steve’s lips. “Yeah?”
“I want to blow you,” Steve says softly.
Danny clutches at Steve’s hair for a moment. “You’re the boss,” he says shakily. “Let’s get inside.”
Steve hesitates before shaking his head. “I want to do it out here.”
Danny pulls back and looks down at Steve. He doesn’t know why, doesn’t know what this signifies, but he can tell that this is some sort of tipping point. He should say no, should insist on going inside, but instead he leans down and kisses Steve’s cheekbone, just below the corner of his eye. “You’re the boss,” he repeats softly.
Steve stares for a moment before tapping on Danny’s hip. “Up, off with the pants,” he says, suddenly sounding much more sure of himself. Danny stands and glances around quickly before resting his hand on his belt and taking a breath. He quickly undoes his belt and pants, letting them fall to the beach. He’s still got his boxers on, and when Steve finishes stripping off his clothing and looks over at Danny, he nods. “Those too.”
Danny slides them off without comment and stands facing Steve. His dick is half-hard, which he thinks is pretty good, considering he’s never really been one for outdoor nudity under any circumstances. Steve looks him over slowly, his eyes travelling from Danny’s legs all the way up to his face, and by the time he meets Danny’s gaze he’s got a wicked smirk on his lips.
“Nice,” Steve says appreciatively. He gestures to the chair behind Danny. “Sit down.”
Danny keeps silent as he does just that. The chair is cool against his bare ass, but he has the feeling that he isn’t going to mind that for much longer.
Steve kneels in front of Danny and runs his hands over Danny’s thighs, spreading them wide. He tucks himself into the space he’s made and smiles up at Danny. The moon lights his face brilliantly, making his eyes shine, and he looks so damn beautiful for a moment that it make Danny’s breath catch.
“Let me hear you,” Steve says softly, and then he leans down and draws Danny’s cock into his mouth.
“Oh,” Danny lets out, resting his hands on Steve’s shoulders. “God, babe. Your mouth, your hands, the things I want to do to you…” His voice trails off as Steve does something obscene with his tongue. “The things I want you to do to me,” he adds, a little breathless.
“Mm,” Steve hums in apparent agreement. He’s moving his head and his hand in time on Danny’s dick, sucking and licking and using the barest scrape of his teeth or nails every so often. Between the sight of Steve on his knees and the relief at finally, finally feeling like he’s getting things right, it’s incredibly intense, and it doesn’t take long for Danny to find that edge.
“Steve,” he warns, tugging on his partner’s shoulders. “Come on, babe, I’m gonna-”
“Mm,” Steve says again, but instead of pulling off, he swallows hard around Danny’s cock. That’s all it takes for Danny to come, spilling into Steve’s mouth as he trembles under Steve’s hands. He reaches for Steve blindly, hauling him up and sticking his tongue in Steve’s mouth. The bitter taste of his own come greets Danny, and he sucks in a breath as he grabs Steve’s cock and starts working him frantically. It’s barely a minute before Steve groans and slumps into Danny as he comes all over Danny’s stomach and thighs.
“We are a mess,” Danny observes when he’s got his breathing back under control. Steve laughs into his neck and pulls back, looking at Danny with everything showing on his face, everything he’s tried to keep under wraps in the year since they’ve met. It takes Danny’s breath away all over again, and he reaches up to cup Steve’s face in his hand.
“Are you sure about this?” Steve asks softly.
“Yeah,” Danny replies, tracing his thumb against Steve’s lower lip. “You drive me insane every single day, and yet there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I should have realized that a long time ago.”
Steve smiles against his fingers. “Sappy,” he comments, grabbing Danny’s hand with his own and pressing a kiss to Danny’s palm.
“Orgasms bring out the romantic in me,” Danny says dryly. “Now, what are the chances we can go inside and continue this in an actual bed?”
“Oh,” Steve says, smile still firmly in place as he stands, “I’d say the odds are pretty good on that one.”