Unforeseen Side Effects (1/1)
Title: Unforeseen Side Effects
Author: somehowunbroken
Fandom: SGA
Characters: Evan/David
Word Count: 1,400
Rating: G
Summary: For schmoop_bingo: 'pregnancy: male or female.'
Notes: Yeah, mpreg. For clwilson2006 and calcitrix , both of whom are probably sad that they inadvertently inspired this.
“We need to talk.”
Evan blinked as David shuffled into his office and slumped in the seat across from his desk. “What can I do for you, Dr. Parrish?”
David scowled at him and reached back with one long arm to slam the door closed. “Evan.”
Oh, Personal, then. “David?”
David’s scowl deepened. “There’s… um.” A slight hesitation, then, “I’m - hm.”
Evan’s chest tightened. David had no problem talking; he was usually the one pulling words out of Evan, asking him about his day and the missions and his family and this and that. David filled silences almost as compulsively as Dr. McKay did. If he couldn’t get the words out, then it was sure to be something bad, something Evan wasn’t going to want to hear. Something like…
“It’s fine,” Evan said dully, staring at a spot just over David’s shoulder. “I mean, we work together, but I’m sure we’re both professional enough to not let it get in the way or endanger anyone offworld.”
David stared at him for a few seconds before letting out a light laugh. “I’m not breaking up with you.”
“Oh.” Evan’s shoulders relaxed. “Thank God.”
“Although it’s good to know you’d put on a brave face if I ever did,” David continued, smile on his face.
Evan rolled his eyes. “Then what did you want to tell me?”
David’s hesitation was back in a flash, nerves and worry replacing humor and his good-natured smile. “Okay, I’m going to try for some backstory here, so when I tell you there’s a basis for it, okay?”
David was such a scientist. “Okay,” Evan replied slowly, settling back in his chair.
“So last month, when we were on M94-028, you remember how we all got sprayed with that purple slimy stuff during the ritual?”
Evan nodded. Slimy was a good description. The stuff had been nearly waterproof, too, once they’d gotten around to trying to clean it off. After they’d-
“It was an aphrodisiac,” he recalled, smirking when David blushed lightly. “Janes and Volsky ran off and bunked with some locals for the night. We stayed back to guard the tent.” The smirk grew as David’s blush did. Not much tent-guarding had gone on, unless you counted the inside.
“Yeah, you remember,” David muttered, cheeks pink. “Anyway, I brought a sample back for Dr. Beckett to test.” Evan nodded; that was procedure, for Carson to test anything the offworld teams had come into contact with, in case it turned out to be poisonous or something. Evan’s eyes widened. Had those people poisoned David?
“Are you sick?” he asked, leaning forward in concern. “Did Carson find something in that goo?”
David pointedly wasn’t looking at him. “He found something, all right,” he said. “But I’m not sick, exactly.”
Evan sat back in his chair. David hadn’t stopped by to tell him that everything was fine, and even if he had, it would have been much easier for him to say. “What, then?”
David took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Evan blinked. “Beg pardon?”
“That’s pretty much what I said,” David replied, shrugging. “Dr. Beckett’s report said that there was a chemical in the spray-goo that would ‘ensure conception in any union made while under its influence.’” He sounded like he was quoting from the report, Evan realized, and wondered how many times David had read it. “He said he’d go to the planet and test anyone we’d been with that night, see if it was true.” He shrugged. “I had him test me.”
“And you’re pregnant,” Evan repeated, feeling a little slow on the uptake but figuring he had the right to be. His boyfriend was pregnant. “You know that’s not possible, right?”
David shrugged. “The doctor said that the goo stuff made some… changes,” he said, looking Evan in the face. “You probably don’t want to know the details.”
Evan shuddered. No, he certainly didn’t.
“Anyway,” David continued, “apparently everything’s perfectly healthy, as far as he can tell.”
Evan’s office was completely silent for a few minutes. “Evan?” David ventured.
Evan held up a finger and tapped on his radio. “Colonel Sheppard?”
“Major,” he heard.
“What’s your location, sir?”
There was a sharp rap at the door about ten seconds later. Evan’s eyes crossed the hallway to the open door - had Sheppard actually been in his office? - and he stepped back, letting Sheppard enter. “Doc,” he said, nodding at David, who nodded back. He turned to Evan. “Something wrong?”
Evan pinched the bridge of his nose and closed the door behind him, gesturing Sheppard to the other seat in the room. “Something you need to know about,” he allowed, sitting down himself and shooting a glance at David, who looked perfectly serene. Sheppard waited, tipping the chair back on two legs, watching Evan with one eyebrow raised.
“M94-028,” he said finally. “Don’t send teams there anymore.”
The second eyebrow joined the first. “Any reason?”
Evan looked helplessly at David, who cleared his throat. Sheppard turned to him, and he shrugged. “I’m pregnant.”
Sheppard’s chair tipped back way too far, and if Evan’s office hadn’t been so small that he hit the wall he’d have sprawled out on the floor. “Excuse me?”
“I’m pregnant,” David repeated helpfully. “They sprayed us with stuff, I had sex, the stuff had some unforeseen side effects, and I’m going to have a kid.”
Evan would have been laughing out loud at the look on Sheppard’s face if the words weren’t still settling with him. “Unforeseen side effects,” Sheppard repeated faintly.
Evan nodded. “Don’t send teams back there,” he again, and Sheppard nodded, dumbstruck. “Sir, would you mind if I took the afternoon off?”
Sheppard nodded again, and Evan briefly wondered what he might be able to get the man to agree to before the shock wore off. Evan stood and walked to the door, clapping David on the shoulder as he passed, and David rose to follow him out of the room.
When Evan glanced back to his office as they rounded the corner, Sheppard was still sitting with the chair tilted against the wall.
They went to David’s quarters; Evan could just have been escorting a friend home, and anyway, the scientists were much less likely to report anything that may or may not have happened in David’s room than the duty-bound Marines were about Evan’s. Evan went inside and sat on the bed. David sat next to him and took his hand, and Evan squeezed it gratefully.
“Are you upset?” David ventured.
“No,” Evan said immediately. He loved kids, adored his nephews, but he’d given up the idea of having any of his own a long time ago. “It’s just - that’s literally the last thing I ever expected you to say.”
David’s mouth turned up at the corners. “It’s pretty much the last thing I ever expected to have to say,” he agreed. He sighed, and Evan looked up to see the smile slide from his face. “What now?”
“I might get sent back to Earth,” Evan said, tracing David’s palm with his thumb. “When I tell Sheppard, y’know, he’s gonna have to report me, and…”
David laughed and tugged Evan against his side. “Sheppard won’t care.”
“He has to.”
“He’s not going to report you.” David sounded amused. “He’d have to report himself, too, and I just don’t see that happening.”
Evan blinked. “He’s sleeping with Teyla.”
“He’s sleeping with Mitchell,” David corrected mildly. Evan’s mouth dropped open, and David shrugged. “McKay doesn’t always censor himself.”
Evan snapped his jaw shut, mind working wildly. “I won’t have to go back to Earth,” he breathed. “I can stay.” He looked at David. “If you want to stay, I mean. If you want to go back to Earth, I’ll get myself transferred.”
David laughed and shoved at his arm. “Of course I want to stay,” he said. “Can you imagine not raising our kid here?”
Evan blinked. No, he decided, he really couldn’t. A slow smile spread across his face as he thought the sentence through again. Our kid.
“Then we’re going to need bigger quarters, among other things,” Evan said, looking around and starting a mental list. “I’ll get the forms in order tomorrow.”
“You can do it now,” David offered. “I’m okay. You don’t have to sit with me all afternoon.”
Evan smiled and turned to take David’s face in his hands. “I wasn’t planning on sitting around.”
Author: somehowunbroken
Fandom: SGA
Characters: Evan/David
Word Count: 1,400
Rating: G
Summary: For schmoop_bingo: 'pregnancy: male or female.'
Notes: Yeah, mpreg. For clwilson2006 and calcitrix , both of whom are probably sad that they inadvertently inspired this.
“We need to talk.”
Evan blinked as David shuffled into his office and slumped in the seat across from his desk. “What can I do for you, Dr. Parrish?”
David scowled at him and reached back with one long arm to slam the door closed. “Evan.”
Oh, Personal, then. “David?”
David’s scowl deepened. “There’s… um.” A slight hesitation, then, “I’m - hm.”
Evan’s chest tightened. David had no problem talking; he was usually the one pulling words out of Evan, asking him about his day and the missions and his family and this and that. David filled silences almost as compulsively as Dr. McKay did. If he couldn’t get the words out, then it was sure to be something bad, something Evan wasn’t going to want to hear. Something like…
“It’s fine,” Evan said dully, staring at a spot just over David’s shoulder. “I mean, we work together, but I’m sure we’re both professional enough to not let it get in the way or endanger anyone offworld.”
David stared at him for a few seconds before letting out a light laugh. “I’m not breaking up with you.”
“Oh.” Evan’s shoulders relaxed. “Thank God.”
“Although it’s good to know you’d put on a brave face if I ever did,” David continued, smile on his face.
Evan rolled his eyes. “Then what did you want to tell me?”
David’s hesitation was back in a flash, nerves and worry replacing humor and his good-natured smile. “Okay, I’m going to try for some backstory here, so when I tell you there’s a basis for it, okay?”
David was such a scientist. “Okay,” Evan replied slowly, settling back in his chair.
“So last month, when we were on M94-028, you remember how we all got sprayed with that purple slimy stuff during the ritual?”
Evan nodded. Slimy was a good description. The stuff had been nearly waterproof, too, once they’d gotten around to trying to clean it off. After they’d-
“It was an aphrodisiac,” he recalled, smirking when David blushed lightly. “Janes and Volsky ran off and bunked with some locals for the night. We stayed back to guard the tent.” The smirk grew as David’s blush did. Not much tent-guarding had gone on, unless you counted the inside.
“Yeah, you remember,” David muttered, cheeks pink. “Anyway, I brought a sample back for Dr. Beckett to test.” Evan nodded; that was procedure, for Carson to test anything the offworld teams had come into contact with, in case it turned out to be poisonous or something. Evan’s eyes widened. Had those people poisoned David?
“Are you sick?” he asked, leaning forward in concern. “Did Carson find something in that goo?”
David pointedly wasn’t looking at him. “He found something, all right,” he said. “But I’m not sick, exactly.”
Evan sat back in his chair. David hadn’t stopped by to tell him that everything was fine, and even if he had, it would have been much easier for him to say. “What, then?”
David took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Evan blinked. “Beg pardon?”
“That’s pretty much what I said,” David replied, shrugging. “Dr. Beckett’s report said that there was a chemical in the spray-goo that would ‘ensure conception in any union made while under its influence.’” He sounded like he was quoting from the report, Evan realized, and wondered how many times David had read it. “He said he’d go to the planet and test anyone we’d been with that night, see if it was true.” He shrugged. “I had him test me.”
“And you’re pregnant,” Evan repeated, feeling a little slow on the uptake but figuring he had the right to be. His boyfriend was pregnant. “You know that’s not possible, right?”
David shrugged. “The doctor said that the goo stuff made some… changes,” he said, looking Evan in the face. “You probably don’t want to know the details.”
Evan shuddered. No, he certainly didn’t.
“Anyway,” David continued, “apparently everything’s perfectly healthy, as far as he can tell.”
Evan’s office was completely silent for a few minutes. “Evan?” David ventured.
Evan held up a finger and tapped on his radio. “Colonel Sheppard?”
“Major,” he heard.
“What’s your location, sir?”
There was a sharp rap at the door about ten seconds later. Evan’s eyes crossed the hallway to the open door - had Sheppard actually been in his office? - and he stepped back, letting Sheppard enter. “Doc,” he said, nodding at David, who nodded back. He turned to Evan. “Something wrong?”
Evan pinched the bridge of his nose and closed the door behind him, gesturing Sheppard to the other seat in the room. “Something you need to know about,” he allowed, sitting down himself and shooting a glance at David, who looked perfectly serene. Sheppard waited, tipping the chair back on two legs, watching Evan with one eyebrow raised.
“M94-028,” he said finally. “Don’t send teams there anymore.”
The second eyebrow joined the first. “Any reason?”
Evan looked helplessly at David, who cleared his throat. Sheppard turned to him, and he shrugged. “I’m pregnant.”
Sheppard’s chair tipped back way too far, and if Evan’s office hadn’t been so small that he hit the wall he’d have sprawled out on the floor. “Excuse me?”
“I’m pregnant,” David repeated helpfully. “They sprayed us with stuff, I had sex, the stuff had some unforeseen side effects, and I’m going to have a kid.”
Evan would have been laughing out loud at the look on Sheppard’s face if the words weren’t still settling with him. “Unforeseen side effects,” Sheppard repeated faintly.
Evan nodded. “Don’t send teams back there,” he again, and Sheppard nodded, dumbstruck. “Sir, would you mind if I took the afternoon off?”
Sheppard nodded again, and Evan briefly wondered what he might be able to get the man to agree to before the shock wore off. Evan stood and walked to the door, clapping David on the shoulder as he passed, and David rose to follow him out of the room.
When Evan glanced back to his office as they rounded the corner, Sheppard was still sitting with the chair tilted against the wall.
They went to David’s quarters; Evan could just have been escorting a friend home, and anyway, the scientists were much less likely to report anything that may or may not have happened in David’s room than the duty-bound Marines were about Evan’s. Evan went inside and sat on the bed. David sat next to him and took his hand, and Evan squeezed it gratefully.
“Are you upset?” David ventured.
“No,” Evan said immediately. He loved kids, adored his nephews, but he’d given up the idea of having any of his own a long time ago. “It’s just - that’s literally the last thing I ever expected you to say.”
David’s mouth turned up at the corners. “It’s pretty much the last thing I ever expected to have to say,” he agreed. He sighed, and Evan looked up to see the smile slide from his face. “What now?”
“I might get sent back to Earth,” Evan said, tracing David’s palm with his thumb. “When I tell Sheppard, y’know, he’s gonna have to report me, and…”
David laughed and tugged Evan against his side. “Sheppard won’t care.”
“He has to.”
“He’s not going to report you.” David sounded amused. “He’d have to report himself, too, and I just don’t see that happening.”
Evan blinked. “He’s sleeping with Teyla.”
“He’s sleeping with Mitchell,” David corrected mildly. Evan’s mouth dropped open, and David shrugged. “McKay doesn’t always censor himself.”
Evan snapped his jaw shut, mind working wildly. “I won’t have to go back to Earth,” he breathed. “I can stay.” He looked at David. “If you want to stay, I mean. If you want to go back to Earth, I’ll get myself transferred.”
David laughed and shoved at his arm. “Of course I want to stay,” he said. “Can you imagine not raising our kid here?”
Evan blinked. No, he decided, he really couldn’t. A slow smile spread across his face as he thought the sentence through again. Our kid.
“Then we’re going to need bigger quarters, among other things,” Evan said, looking around and starting a mental list. “I’ll get the forms in order tomorrow.”
“You can do it now,” David offered. “I’m okay. You don’t have to sit with me all afternoon.”
Evan smiled and turned to take David’s face in his hands. “I wasn’t planning on sitting around.”