Dear Ted

[someirishdude]

After consultation with my inner circle (my own private Politburo if you'll have it...and you'd better have it) I have decided that I will take suggestions for journal topics. Believe it or not, there has been some slight protestation (ok...whining) that I post too erratically

Comments

[scoreboard]

Since I don't get time to hear them routinely, I will require a Junks recap on a daily basis.

Also, I need to know what the ACTUAL buzz is on the Redskins. Will they suck? Will they pwn? Has Clinton Portis finally crossed the line into true schizoid insanity? I need to know these things.

[someirishdude]

Junkies today (although this will annoy one of my favorite friends..sorry K)

1) Men can tell hot chicks vs fat chicks by the sound of their voice. This was tested by having six girls talk to the boys just on the phone. Five girls were tested. The results:

E.B. - A perfect 5-0
Lurch - Also 5-0 with an assist from E.B. when he waffled on one chick.

Cakes: 3-2
JP : 3-2

Me (listening on the radio): 4-1

Portis will play the opener, but supreme TD vulture TJ Duckett has upset team chemistry. I hope it was worth it. We're selling draft picks like crazy. It will be a high school team in 2010.

[zepharum]

I don't buy that at all! God knows that most phone sex operators aren't hot. Actually, I don't know if that's a fact or if I just got that idea from TV, but I assume a lot of them aren't attractive. I know several unattractive people that have sexy phone voices, so I just don't so. I think further research is required.

[someirishdude]

I agree that you can be completely wrong in either direction, but I have found that I'm more accurate than not. And I would probably go on a date with someone (if I was single) after having spoken with them on the phone for a bit.

It's not just a "sexy" thing in the voice. I listen for confidence. Girls who are attractive speak differently and have a command of the conversation. They lead rather than follow mostly. It's subtle, but it's there.

[cailleanlarkin]

I guess that if we want the free ficus tree, we can't post anonymously, can we? Or are you that much of a soothsayer that you can see through the anonymity? Soothsaying is my suggestion for post topics, by the way.

[someirishdude]

You want me to post about soothsaying? That's a tall order. However, I KNEW you were going to request that, so I have a post ready.

As far as the tree, that might be a flaw in my plan...yes.

[rightnow]

I have no ideas for you. I just want the ficus. Unless it's toxic to my plant munching bird. Don't send it yet! I'll research and get back to ya.

[someirishdude]

I can't stand you people who only like me for my trees.

[strandist]

The current state of Jello and other such deliciousnesses. This includes, but is not limited to, candy, peanut butter, and pudding as well.

[someirishdude]

This will be done. Stay tuned.

[anonymous]

I once bookmarked an entry you did around New Years (insert year here) about how awesome we women really are, and we need to acknowledge it and not let guys get us down, and other rah-rah stuff like that. I liked that entry a lot.

I would be interested in hearing more about the inner workings of a man's mind. Do they really notice the little things about women or is it all "boobs, beer, sex, sports, repeat"?

[someirishdude]

I will reply to this. And I think I can find the old entry. By the way...I'm 99 percent sure I know who you are. If that's true, would you be impressed that I know you that well OR embarrassed?