005 ~ ...and the lost shall be found (Hisoka's Navy personnel file). [Text / filtered to Reynolds]
Captain Reynolds, I've just had the strangest journal conversation. I thought I'd better notify you. But the entire entry vanished from my screen as soon as it was completed! I've reconstructed it from memory, as you can see below. I've included my own thoughts after that.
I was surfing the network for news of the Amestris and the Solare situation, when an unfamiliar transmission signature appeared. I clicked on it before I could stop myself. I thought it might be Sephiroth...
{{OOC note: In this rendition of the conversation, the bracketed and italicized snide comments are Hisoka's and are thus visible to Reynolds.}}
Unkown speaker: Hisoka Kurosaki?
Me: [with a nauseating surge of disappointment] Who's this?
Unknown speaker: This is Major Thompson Delacroix. Of the Navy Personnel Office.
Me: [Pompous ass.] Sir, you have the wrong Kurosaki. I'm not in the military.
Delacroix: [briskly] Guess again, Lieutenant.
Me: Major, I'm out. I'm deactivated. [with sudden, intense passion] I'm FORGOTTEN.
Delacroix: You were never deactivated. You were merely...lost.
Me: I'll stay lost. [moving to shut off Delacroix]
Delacroix: DON'T touch that key. We can, er, come to an arrangement.
Me: [extremely angry pause] You're three and a half months too late, Major. I needed a ship assignment THEN. Instead, I was told repeatedly and with great finality that the Fleet had no record of my service. I seemed not to exist. Thus, no new ship!
Delacroix: Back pay, plus a bonus--for all your hard work during the decommissioning of the Victoria II. I read your report. I was quite impressed. You're exceptionally thorough.
Me: [pause again] Thank you, sir, but no thank you.
Delacroix: [delicately] Of course, I pinpointed the single discrepancy between the old records and your inventory of all the Vicky's equipment and furnishings. Lieutenant Commander Sephiroth Crescent's aircraft, of course, does not belong to him.
Me: [Indeed it did not, but now it does. Sephiroth signed it and himself into the hanger deck's logbook when he first came aboard the Vicky. But, by an oversight, the plane was never registered as part of Victoria's equipment. I simply let the error stand.] My goodness.
Delacroix: [clears throat] Hmm, yes...
Me: [Manipulative bastard.] You want to prosecute me or Sephiroth for the theft of an aircraft?
Delacroix: Certainly not.
Me: [soft snort...then, a rather long silence, full of thought, with head-scratching] I have a committment. I'm not willing to leave my current ship.
Delacroix: [heartily] Oh, you won't have to. We'll place your file in the "Special Assignments" catagory.
Me: Nor will I spy for you.
Delacroix: On Captain Reynolds? Oh no. [sounding shocked that I would think him capable of such an order]
Me: Then what do you want?
Delacroix: We want you to make yourself available for various, er, minor assignments...as the need arises. Not often, and not in conflict with your ship duties or your responsibility to your captain.
Me: [The man thinks I'm an idiot.] I see.
Delacroix: If you wish, we can, er, renumerate Reynolds for your absence, should a project of ours take you away from the ship for any length of time.
Me: You want to rent me? [starting to laugh]
Delacroix: [with a haughty and noble look] Young man, you would be serving your country...er...I guess you're not Ivonian...both our countries. Your people! Yes.
Me: No doubt.
Delacroix: So! Now that we have that straightened out, I'm sure we'll be able to work out the details. [meaningfully] I'll be in touch. [disconnects]
[End of my recollection of this talk.]
Navy Personnel Office, hrummph! Facile bureaucrat. Fishing around for my weaknesses.
"Special Assignments"? What do they need, a bookkeeper? A file clerk who doesn't drop people's personnel folders into the wastebasket? Hahaha.
Captain Reynolds, I could still refuse. This is silly. It's like a chapter out of a cheap thriller. I'm not valuable. And yet, he went to the trouble of implying that he might pursue Sephiroth if I didn't cooperate. He can't, I suppose... [not 100% certain of this]
Say, he threw in something ($$$$$) for you, as well! I was thinking...it could help Serenity financially. [grimly] I'd make sure it did.