himym picspam: 5x01
Lily: Wooooooo!!
Marshall: Lily, volume. Use your indoor ‘woo’.
Lily: Sorry. *quietly* Woo! It’s just they kissed! They’re finally a couple! Oh my god, you guys! This is our first double date! First of millions! What if our kids get married?! Oh, I love this!!
Barney: Yeeeeaah... Lily, listen.
Robin: Barney’s awesome.
Barney: Robin’s more than just awe-some. She’s awe-quite a bit. She’s awe-a whole darn lot.
Lily: Wait. What are you saying?
Robin: We’re just not feeling it, right now. But we’ll totally still be friends.
Barney: Oh, yeah.
Lily: Is it.. something I did?
Robin: Oh, no! No, no, god no! Lily, it’s not you! It’s us.
Barney: Yeah, it’s us. You understand, right?
Lily: Sure, of course! As long as you’re happy, I’m happy!
Lily: *sobs* We were going to take cooking classes together! And we were going to go on camping trips together! And then we were going to sit around telling funny stories about our cooking classes and our camping trips!!
Marshall: I know, I know. So... has the boat sailed on sex tonight, or...?
Ted: Whoa. What’s this?
Marshall: Oh, it’s just a little something that we got for you that used to belong to my favourite professor of all time.
Ted: A fedora? I’m Indiana Jones! I’M INDIANA JONES!
***
Ted: You know what we should do? We should-
Marshall: Finish our drinks, go out in the alley, and whip stuff!
Ted: God. You just get me.
Ted: Hey dummy? What did I tell you about smoking in here?
Marshall: Make him whip the habit!! I’m so excited about this whip!! I’ve got whip fever!! Just whip him, Ted! Don’t even aim, just whip him!
...
Ted: I’m so sorry.
Marshall: Well, it’s just the whip’s not a toy, Ted, there’s such a thing as common sense, you know.
***
*Barney & Robin making out on couch*
Lily: Woooooooo!!!!!!!
Lily: I knew it! You guys ARE boyfriend and girlfriend!
Robin: Wo- Wow. Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Lily. Slow your roll there, Lilypad. Ok.
Barney: Whoa. He-ey-ey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wha-o. Girlfriend? I- g- Yeah, yeah.
Robin: We should figure out what this is.
Barney: Yes, we should. Or.. Or!-
...
Robin: Okay, now we have to figure this out.
Barney: Yes. We do. Or.. Or!
...
Robin: We tried to have the talk, but then we realised we hate the talk!
Barney: Yeah! The talk sucks! You have to, like, talk!
...
Barney: Well, that, and the fact that elaborate lies really turn us on...
Lily: No! No! No! No. You need to define the relationship! You need to have the talk!
Barney: Or. Or!
Brad: I’ve got two tickets to the Rangers-Canucks game tomorrow night. I know you’re a hockey fan, so I was thinking...
Robin: Uh, oh, um...
Brad: What do I have to do? Put a gun to your head? Buy you a six pack?
Robin: Come on Brad, that’s - Wow, there’s really six of them...
Brad: Before we go any further, you should know something about my stuff below the belt. I was born... a little different.
***
Robin: My heart says leap into it, my brain says it’s a bad idea.
***
Barney: Hey, Brad. *punches him*
Brad, we can’t fight like this all night, we both got some good shots in, let’s call a truce!!
Brad: It’s okay, dude. I shouldn’t go kissing some other guy’s girlfriend.
Robin: *laughs* No, no. That’s putting it a bit strongly, Brad, okay! Yeah! A girlfriend’s a bit much, Brad! Okay? *laughs*
Barney: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Girlfriend? Come on... a bit strongly! She’s not my girlfriend! *laughs*
***
Barney: Because of that? Come on, That’s my thing. I’m always punching guys! Girls! I’ll punch a baby, I don’t care!
Barney: Hey, sorry I went a little too far last night.
Robin: Oh, look, we’ve been over this. Unless I say ‘Flugelhorn’, you haven’t gone too far.
Barney: No, I meant punching Brad.
Robin: Oh, right, look, don’t even worry about it, it- *doorknob breaks off* ooh! God, the doorknob’s broken off. We’re locked in here! Did you do this?
Barney: No.
Robin: Flugelhorn. Did you do this?
Barney: No.
Robin: Ted, Ted are you out there?
Lily: Ted’s not here, Robin.
Robin: Lily, let us out of here!
Lily: I’d be glad to. Just as soon as you and Barney have the talk.
***
Robin: You’re gonna lock us in here? Well, guess what? Maybe we’ll spend the whole day having sex!
Lily: Well, guess what? I brought Marshall with me, so maybe we’ll do the same!
Marshall: *waves* Hey, guys.
Proffessor Ted: Good morning. ‘Sup dudes! SILENCE! This is Architecture 101, I am Professor Mosby. But you can call me Ted. Professor Mosby. T-Dog! Do not call me T-Dog.
...
Please save all of your questions for the end of the lecture. ThankYOU!
Marshall: “We’re Barn-man and Robin” *laughs*. Oh, come on, you’ve got to admit, that is kinda funny, Lily!
Lily: Not. Good. Enough.
Marshall: Not good enough! *whips*
***
Ted: Architecture’s fun! Look, I brought a hackey-sack!
***
Barney: Maybe we should go back to being just friends.
Robin: Maybe. But um, I don’t wanna stop having sex.
Barney: Oh, good, me neither!
Robin: Yeah, friends isn’t going to work.
Barney: Nope. We’re not good at being friends, we’re not good at being in a relationship. What are we good at?
Robin: I know something we’re good at.
Barney: I don’t know, if we’re going to do it again, I’m gonna need some Gatorade, or s-
Robin: No! No, not that! Lying! Think about it, we spent the whole summer lying about being just friends. Why not just keep lying?
Robin: We sat down, we had the talk. Barney’s my boyfriend now.
Barney: And Robin’s my girlfriend. I know it sounds nuts, but it feels good to say!
Robin: We’re both afraid of commitment, but the fact is we also can’t live without each other
Barney: And if the alternative is not being together, then it’s worth taking this risk. ‘Cause, she’s awesome.
Robin: And he’s awesome. And he looks nice in a suit.
Barney: And she can handle her scotch.
Robin: He’s my boyfriend.
Barney: And she’s my girlfriend.
...
Marshall: *whips* GOOD ENOUGH!
Robin: She bought it!
Barney: Hook, line and sinker! We are good! *high five*
Robin: Ooh, Totally.
Robin: So, you wanna get some breakfast?
Barney: You know, brunch actually does sound kinda good.
Robin: Hmm. Well, lead the way, sweetie-pie.
Barney: Whoa, Flugelhorn!
Robin: Yeah, that felt wrong.
Barney: *laughs*
...
Ted: You do realise they were lying, right?
Lily: No, Ted. They don’t realise they weren’t lying.
Marshall: Oh, hello. Hello. Good evening. Hello. Don’t get up. Didn’t we meet on a yacht? Hello.
What? Oh, no! Did i not tell you guys it was tuxedo night? Doesn’t feel very good, does it?