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[sonofsam13999]

Feeling very pessimistic lately, drinking excessive amounts of coffee sure doesn't help either. Nothing seems worth doing, worth pursuing; fear of outcomes ensnare me in a perpetual state of anxiety, and my reasons for embarking on such "journeys" are nebulous. July 5th I register for classes, the middle of this month, or possibly sooner, I start

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[illconn]

If you haven't already, read The Occult, by Colin Wilson. I know it's an odd recommendation, but that book and a few others of his helped me to permanently change my feeling of there being nothing worth doing.