(no subject)
Mammograms
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.
EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!
AND, just a thought for all the women out there........
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,
MENopause............
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?.........And
When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!
Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget to have a mammogram!!!!!!
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
I'm sitting here listening to They Might Be Giants Dial a song . Hubby got it for me for our anniversary. It's awesome!!!
It's kind of funny that when I was in H.S. my boyfriend bought me a tape (Men Without Hats, Pop Goes the World )for Valentines day and I was heartbroken that he didn't get me something "more romantic". Either I've lowered my standards, or I've given up on "romantic", I'm not sure which. Frankly, I don't really care.
BTW, M w/o H's have a website: http://www.menwithouthats.com/ . I had no idea that they were still around!
I realized the other day that I live like someone who is depressed, but I haven't been. I sleep as much as I can, I hardly leave the house, I don't really think (or care) about nutrition or exercise. It's kind of weird, it's like my body is depressed, but my mind isn't.
I had a doctor appointment last Tuesday. I was hoping that he would just decide to write a letter of recommendation for the Baratric surgery. Of course, he didn't. Instead he told me that I need to exercise more. He told me that walking isn't enough. The latest recommendation for exercise is one hour a day seven days a week. By exercise, he means be at your target heart rate for an hour. Don't bother starting to time yourself until your at your THR. He also prescribed a diet pill for me. He told me that what a person eats doesn't matter nearly as much as the exercise. So I guess I'll have to play his little game until I weight 300 lbs. I certainly am not going to be able to exercise for an hour a day every day! Actually, it would be more like an hour and a half when you add in all of the stretching, warm up and cool down time. Not going to happen.
The Cast of the last show gave me an Ebay gift certificate as a thank you gift, and I just used it to buy a ring. It is sterling silver and has a malachite stone. I can't wait to get it!
I'm going to go to bed now.