Comments | sophie_448: On Being Queer

sophie_448

On Being Queer

Aug 25, 2010 23:34

Well. I was going to write some fic. But ... instead I wrote this? This ... was sort of vaguely intended to be something to show my mother. For those of you who don't know, my mother and I have been having some upsetting "debates" that made me realize that we basically live in entirely different worlds when it comes to gay rights. I ... will ( Read more... )

queer, lgbt rights, rl

Comments 38

asmallsmackerel August 26 2010, 03:45:06 UTC

I love you and every word of this essay.

It hurts to feel like you aren't equal with the "normal" society. Heck, it hurts that you aren't considered normal. It hurts to be stereotyped. It hurts to not have the rights that someone else does. It hurts to hear and see the hatred, the ignorance, the indifference. It hurts to know or hear that people believe that your ~kind doesn't exist. Heck, it hurts to be called a ~kind like you're some kind of brand.

Anddd yeah. No essay from me. That's all I'll say.

<3 <3 <3 <3

sophie_448 August 26 2010, 04:04:21 UTC

YES, ALL OF THIS. ILU AND YOUR THOUGHTS.

I sometimes think that the indifference is the hardest thing to deal with. Flat out hate is one thing, but the millions of people who just can't be bothered? That gets to me.

asmallsmackerel August 26 2010, 04:07:34 UTC

My thoughts on this could go on for pages, as I'm sure many people's would, but I decided against it at eleven at night, haha.

EXACTLY. The people who treat it so off-handishly (not a word, but lalala) just really get under my skin.

"What's the big deal?" they say?

OH. I DON'T KNOW, HUMAN RIGHTS AND ALL THAT MAYBE? COMMON DECENCY? ACCEPTANCE IN THIS WORLD? Jeez.

sophie_448 August 26 2010, 04:32:06 UTC

off-handishly is now my new favorite word :-D

OH GOSH, EXACTLY. YEAH, NO BIG DEAL, JUST MY STATUS AS A HUMAN. WHATEVS~

Thread 8

celtic_cookie August 26 2010, 03:54:18 UTC

I don't really want to get into an involved discussion here and now, MAINLY BECAUSE IT WOULD JUST BE YOU AND ME AGREEING WHOLEHEARTEDLY WITH EACH OTHER THE WHOLE TIME.

But I do want to say that I love you dearly, I agree on EVERY SINGLE POINT and I wish your mom would open up her damn eyes or take a minute to think about other HUMAN BEINGS rather that "groups".

I love you. you are my best friend. And if you ever want to marry, I will stand up next to you and hold your train (if you have one) and cry like a baby, no matter who is on the other side of the altar. I mean, you know. Unless that person is an asshole. (OR YOU KNOW, YOU'D RATHER HAVE SOMEONE ELSE BE YOUR MAID OF AWESOME. GOSH. SORRY!)

<333333 forever

sophie_448 August 26 2010, 04:00:48 UTC

LOL I WOULD LOVE TO MUTUALLY AGREE WITH YOU AT LENGTH. HELL, IT'S KIND OF MY FAVORITE ACTIVITY :-P I KNOW YOU NEED SLEEPS THO.

*sigh* I know, I know. I just ... don't even know where to start. Clearly this attempt ... failed. I mean, I like it, but it is not what I was trying to write, oops.

WHO ELSE WOULD BE MY MAID OF AWESOME? GOSH~ OBVIOUSLY~

<333333333333333333333333333333333333 X A BILLIONTY.

jesseofthenorth August 26 2010, 04:19:24 UTC

I wish I could print multiple copies of this out and just hand it to people when they say shit like " I don't get what your problem is. Why is this such a big deal?" .
You make an excellent and slightly heart-breaking point when you said Living as a queer person means that to live honestly and authentically you must constantly come out. You must announce yourself publicly or risk being branded a liar.
This whole piece rings completely and overwhelmingly true. Thanks for giving my rants a more coherent voice than I manage too.

sophie_448 August 26 2010, 04:34:16 UTC

I'm so glad it spoke to you! And even happier that you think it's coherent. It felt kind of ... insane and jumbled coming out of my head, so I'm happy it makes sense!

thebiggest_lie August 26 2010, 04:20:25 UTC

I can't thank you enough for writing this. It's like you took every feeling and thought in my head and put it together in a powerful and cohesive form.

This:

I’m uncomfortable with people who wear socks with sandals, but I’m not about to go make picket signs and lobby for them to change their ways.

made me laugh. The entire last paragraph? Made me cry in its honesty.

I've been feeling a lot of anger tonight because of the whole Target/Best Buy thing. Other reasons too, but it was sort of the thing that tipped me over the edge. I'm so tired of being told to shut up and live with it. I'm so tired of not talking about it. And I am so so so tired of straight people telling me its okay, because it really isn't.

I adore you. Thank you for expressing your thoughts. I am much better for having you in my life.

sophie_448 August 26 2010, 04:38:19 UTC

OH, YOU. *HUGS*

LOL IDK. It was the first random, stupid thing I could come up with.

Sorry it made you cry tho! I'm glad it ... expressed something, though. I was definitely set off by the Target/Best Buy thing as well.

I'm pretty fond of you as well! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

thebiggest_lie August 26 2010, 04:26:29 UTC

Oh, and just because I want to put this somewhere, and I can't really in my own journal because my sister and I share so many friends. The thing is, even the people who love you most and are most supportive of you just fall through on this sort of thing, like your mom. Your mom loves you, but somehow she can't seem to see this part of you. And doesn't that just kill you ( ... )

sophie_448 August 26 2010, 04:44:40 UTC

Yeah, I mean, it was a HUGE step to come out to my parents. And of course I'm incredibly happy that they didn't disown me or something crazy. But there is clearly a disconnect when they say they love me and want me to be happy but can still have the opinions they have. I know FOR SURE that they voted for the marriage amendment in VA back in '06. And like, they didn't know at the time, but I get the distinct feeling they would vote that way again, and I don't see how they can not understand that that would be PURPOSEFULLY VOTING AGAINST MY RIGHTS AND FUTURE HAPPINESS. IDK ( ... )

thebiggest_lie August 26 2010, 04:52:11 UTC

No, that's okay. I am pretty sure you and her don't have any of the same friends. :) Thanks for the thought though!

I'm really sorry about your parents feeling that way and that they are yet to understand how that kind of thing could hurt you. And that's what it really is; a complete disconnect and just not understanding at all. Do you think your parents are under the assumption that gay = choice? That tends to be a lot of the argument for people who vote against gay marriage and issues of that sort.

I don't know what it is that makes her so uncomfortable with it. I mean, she runs a Chuck/Casey slash group. And yeah...I just don't know. She is so supportive of gay rights; I know she is! But somehow it doesn't translate on a personal level and she is uncomfortable hearing about any details in regards to actual real life gay people.

sophie_448 August 26 2010, 05:44:52 UTC

Do you think your parents are under the assumption that gay = choice? I know my dad does because he said so. My mom didn't weigh in on it, but probably. And, like, I don't even know where to start with that. I can't show them the inside of my head or something? And ... in all honesty, the science is fuzzy enough not to convince someone who doesn't want to be convinced. I mean, I just try to remind myself that I did JUST come out to them. They may come around more with time ( ... )