that sweet end-of-summer smell when everything swells with nostalgia is haunting my every move. the fireflies stopped blinking. i didnt notice when they stopped, but they dont anymore. im trying to tie up all my loose ends -- move my stuff from that storage unit where ive saved evidence that i once had a calm life in a house, re-route things ( Read more... )

i just met the curator of the mfa in boston. she was a pompous bitch. she's a jew who lives in my home town - big surprise, right? well, not at all if youre acquainted with my town and the density of the jews there, i guess...

i think i broke my car b/c i think that something is leaking out of it... and i think that i really fucked up b/c i broke it ( Read more... )

guzzled 1 cup of coffee, smoked 1 marlboro 27, and 1 american spirit (from the black pack); now: am very jittery and all over the place. feeling nervous and excited and my armpits are sweaty. i promise ( Read more... )

now im having tons of reservations about everything... im getting nervous b/c im not sure about this thing or that thing... now im nervous that im going to get bored on the farm in the middle of nowhere... and im nervous about possibly having to return to boston with my tail between my legs... total defeat would not be a positive thing.

i learned something the other day -- that every leaf has a life span. id never thought about it like that before, which was fascinating. -- both that i hadnt thought about it like that and that every leaf will die at some point ( Read more... )

i have my flight itinerary in my "escape plans" notebook. im flying from boston to california on [date removed b/c i like the element of surprise...] i am so excited, nobody could possibly understand ( Read more... )

it's amazing how static things can become... ive been feeling like so much happens each day -- over the course of the day i consume x cups of coffee, x amount of snacks, do x amount of labor, and the list continues. while i do all of this stuff and interact with countless numbers of people, things just remain the same. there's nothing like a ( Read more... )

should i stay or should i go ( Read more... )

needless to say, i got a phone call a couple days following the previous incident recorded herein -- "can we still be friends." long story short: he's coming to visit soon. am i weak & pathetic or just weak ( Read more... )