'Sex' (from a random OkCupid journaler)
The only thing wrong with Sex was its damnable inconvenience. This was certainly the case "back in the day". Someone was going to get pregnant, shit would go down, baby would pop out and all hell would break loose. There had to be some kind of middle-man between people and Sex, otherwise shit would go down way too much, babies would pop out all over the place, and hell would freeze and thaw with each passing season. Introducing: Love. Ever since its creation there have been two camps: On the one hand, Love is an end in and of itself. On the other hand Love is a means to an end. Not that end, for the sake of simplicity we'll stick to heterosexuality today, children.
Imagine yourself kicking it old school, perhaps just after Love's invention. "Self," you would muse quietly, "look at all of these attractive people, how are you ever going to choose which one to satisfy your carnal lust with?" Of course, the clear answer, if you are a responsible sort of person (and for the sake of argument, let's say you are) is that you're going to have to pick just one particular guy or doll for you. And after all sorts of courtship and hullabaloo you'll fall in Love, cementing your bond and hopefully getting married either before or shortly after the birth of your first bouncing baby boy (or girl). Now, this all seemed well and good for a while. However, despite the handy solution that Love had created to this problem of baby-making and familial strife, it didn't stop anyone at all from at least hoping they could have all kinds of Sex willy-nilly "one of these days".
Well, eventually all sorts of handy things like condoms actually started to do what they were supposed to do all along, and a bunch of us started thinking. "Love is a beautiful and noble thing," we thought to ourselves, "but it's certainly not a means to either end anymore. You don't have to be madly in Love with someone to have sex with them, you don't even have to be madly in like with someone. Why, provided we steer clear of all those pesky sentimental types, we can have a glorious time all of the time and cut out the middle man altogether!" And so, dear children, with much rejoicing and tears of happiness, we placed Love upon an unreachable pedestal where it could be appreciated for all of its beauty, and proceeded to fuck like rabbits.
Once again the gift of Sex could be freely enjoyed by all. Of course, despite the obvious blessing of Sex that has been poured before them, a few sentimental types still cling to the notion that Love really is everything it’s cracked up to be, possibly due to a regrettable gaffe in their schooling. Still, with time we can only hope that such misconceptions will be straightened out.
There is a somewhat more sizeable group of people that are always having Love with their Sex, or perhaps Sex with their Love, but can never tell which is which. Needless to say, going into that little puzzle would take more time than we have today, and for the sake of brevity, you can safely assume that they're fucked.
[Hehehe, i was so pleased with this i copied it here. To view the charming young man who wrote it, click here.]
Imagine yourself kicking it old school, perhaps just after Love's invention. "Self," you would muse quietly, "look at all of these attractive people, how are you ever going to choose which one to satisfy your carnal lust with?" Of course, the clear answer, if you are a responsible sort of person (and for the sake of argument, let's say you are) is that you're going to have to pick just one particular guy or doll for you. And after all sorts of courtship and hullabaloo you'll fall in Love, cementing your bond and hopefully getting married either before or shortly after the birth of your first bouncing baby boy (or girl). Now, this all seemed well and good for a while. However, despite the handy solution that Love had created to this problem of baby-making and familial strife, it didn't stop anyone at all from at least hoping they could have all kinds of Sex willy-nilly "one of these days".
Well, eventually all sorts of handy things like condoms actually started to do what they were supposed to do all along, and a bunch of us started thinking. "Love is a beautiful and noble thing," we thought to ourselves, "but it's certainly not a means to either end anymore. You don't have to be madly in Love with someone to have sex with them, you don't even have to be madly in like with someone. Why, provided we steer clear of all those pesky sentimental types, we can have a glorious time all of the time and cut out the middle man altogether!" And so, dear children, with much rejoicing and tears of happiness, we placed Love upon an unreachable pedestal where it could be appreciated for all of its beauty, and proceeded to fuck like rabbits.
Once again the gift of Sex could be freely enjoyed by all. Of course, despite the obvious blessing of Sex that has been poured before them, a few sentimental types still cling to the notion that Love really is everything it’s cracked up to be, possibly due to a regrettable gaffe in their schooling. Still, with time we can only hope that such misconceptions will be straightened out.
There is a somewhat more sizeable group of people that are always having Love with their Sex, or perhaps Sex with their Love, but can never tell which is which. Needless to say, going into that little puzzle would take more time than we have today, and for the sake of brevity, you can safely assume that they're fucked.
[Hehehe, i was so pleased with this i copied it here. To view the charming young man who wrote it, click here.]