The Search Continues: Sporking of a Twilight/FMA Crossover, Chapter Three
Warning: Some NTSW images here, but nothing too bad. In this chapter, we discuss the Homunculi, introduce a new count, and everything is still really stupid.
Chapter Three- talks
At the Swan's house, the alchemists and Hawkeye spent half of the night discussing.
Discussing…what? Even though ‘discussing’ is technically a synonym for “talking”, they can still mean different things depending on the context of the sentence. Imagine if I walked up to you and said: “Joey and I were discussing.”
It doesn’t sound like a full sentence, does it? If I instead said this: “Joey and I were discussing wedding plans,” it makes a lot more sense, and it actually sounds complete.
Anyway, we get a brief bit about how Mustang starts to say that Jacob and Alice need to know about the Homunculi, and then Carlisle says he needs to go to work. Its pointless.
"Now the first thing you need to know about are the homunculi," he repeated.
"Who and what are they?" Jacob asked.
"Homunculi," Charlie said, "are fake human beings; they are created when someone tries to bring a person back to life through alchemy. As you both know, this is the one thing an alchemist must not do. There are terrible consequences if you do."
Now, Fullmetal Alchemist is sort of an anomaly, in that it technically has two canons. When the manga was first written, it was popular enough to warrant a show. However, the manga only had about twenty chapters at the time, so the anime they made in 2003 deviated a lot from the source material, because it wasn’t finished yet. So, in the 2003 canon, that is how Homunculi are created.
When the manga was close to finishing, another anime series (called Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood) was made to adapt the source material faithfully. It came out in 2009, and in that series, Homunculi are created very differently. In fact, both series are incredibly different in storyline, and in its cast of characters.
Now, keep these two differing canons in mind, because the author sure as hell doesn’t.
"I think I've read somewhere that people try it anyway, though," Alice said.
"That is correct, people do try it." Mustang said. "I'm sure you will meet the Elric brothers in a day or so. You can see what the consequences were for them."
Jacob and Alice both had strange expressions on their faces.
What? Were they scared? Or were they just doing this:
The four adults laughed. "It's not horrendous, but the older brother, Edward lost an arm and a leg because of it. His younger brother, Alphonse lost his entire body and his soul is bound to a suit of armor." Mustang explained.
Um, no, that is, in fact, HORRENDOUS.
Ed and Al were little boys. Their mother had just died, and they wanted to see her again, because she was the only family they had. Their MISSING LIMBS and BODIES didn’t just go “poof”. They were literally dismantled. Deconstructed.
Yeah.
Not.
Horrendous.
At.
All.
This isn’t bad simply because they’re laughing off a horrible and traumatizing experience, this is bad because they are making light of the consequences of Human Transmutation. You just told them that it was dangerous. Laughing about it and telling them that it is not that bad could very well make them believe that attempting Human Transmutation is a good idea!
This in fact starts a new count, JUST A FLESH WOUND. This count will be used when something happens or is discussed in the fic that is very serious, but is then dropped a second later or downplayed.
JUST A FLESH WOUND: 1
"You have to be very powerful to be able to do that." Jacob whistled, impressed.
Yes, Ed and Al are very very good at Alchemy, but you just heard that they were basically ripped apart! YOU SHOULD NOT BE IMPRESSED, YOU SHOULD BE HORRIFIED.
"Why would the homunculi come here?" Alice asked.
"Because, they think Victoria has the stone," Billy said.
I thought you said in Chapter One that you didn’t think the Homunculi would come? I mean, you were obviously wrong, but still.
Jacob and Alice looked at each other and asked together, "What stone?"
"The Philosopher's stone." Charlie said. When the new alchemists looked confused, Mustang elaborated. "The Philosopher's stone is a magical stone that can do almost anything -including creating objects from thin air, and supposedly, giving you eternal life. It can also make a part-human into a full human, and give a body to a soul only bound to a human substance," he said.
“and give a body to a soul only bound to a human substance”
I have no idea what that means. I mean, at all. I really don’t know what they are saying here.
"Isn't it a myth though?" Jacob asked.
The adults glanced at each other.
"Oh boy." Billy sighed. "It isn't. A few years back, there was a war in a land called Ishbal, and most of the alchemist got a fake stone made from the real one. After the war, all was taken back and the stone was lost." he said.
Again, this is also true for the 2003 anime canon, but not the 2009 Brotherhood show. Also, I think the country is usually called “Ishval” now, because that seems to be the proper translation, but I’m letting it slide because they did call it that in the 2003 series.
"Why would Victoria want the stone?" Alice frowned.
It’s true that you can bypass equivalent exchange with the stone, but I don’t know exactly why Victoria would want it. We have no indication that she’s even an alchemist, so it seems rather pointless.
"We don't know," Mustang admitted. "But we do know that if the homunculi join with her, we don't stand a fighting chance."
"Speaking of which, Lust and Gluttony passed by today while we were in a restaurant. We don't know how much she heard." Billy said.
Also, this gets a count, because of how casually it is addressed.
JUST A FLESH WOUND: 2
"Right, Armstrong will be here when the boys get here. I've been having him follow them secretly."
Riiiiight.
Anyway, Mustang also tells them to be aware of Scar. Maybe in the next sentence he’ll say that Scar “isn’t all that dangerous.” -__-
"He was spotted in a few towns over," Chief Swan said, showing them a picture. "He is targeting all state alchemists."
"But wouldn't a vampire and a werewolf be able to beat him?" Alice asked.
Mustang shook his head. "You are not to try," he instructed them sternly.
"Do you think he will join Victoria?" Billy asked.
"No, he just wants revenge after Resunbul.”
...What? I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure the author means “Resembool”, the town that Ed and Al grew up in, but that makes no sense. Scar was revenge because his people were massacred in Ishval by the military and State Alchemists. Resembool is near the border of the East, where Ishval is, but it still had basically nothing to do with the war. This is a fact in BOTH canons.
CANON FAIL: 7
“Speaking of which, did Carlisle talk to-?"
"No," Charlie said, eyeing the kids and cutting him off.
Mustang pursed his lips. "Now is more crucial then ever. If he doesn't you need to, Charlie-"
*Sigh*. It’s a pet peeve when authors play up the MYSTERIOUS DIALOGUE angle, especially when it really makes no sense to be there. If they don’t want to discuss this in front of the kids, why not wait until they leave? Or, you could just say: “Hey, we’re all done here, can we go talk?” It’s really not that difficult.
Grammatically speaking, it’s a little strange to cut off the sentence there, especially with what follows:
They talked a bit more before calling it a night. On the edge of town, a boy with a blond braid and red coat stood with a big metal robot, stopping to take in the view.
Holy scene change Batman!
"Well Al, we're here. Let's see if we can find Carlisle."
I have never met this Well Al. Is he the brother of Sick Al?
Well, another chapter down. :/
Final Count:
CANON FAIL: 7
JUST A FLESH WOUND: 2
Chapter Three- talks
At the Swan's house, the alchemists and Hawkeye spent half of the night discussing.
Discussing…what? Even though ‘discussing’ is technically a synonym for “talking”, they can still mean different things depending on the context of the sentence. Imagine if I walked up to you and said: “Joey and I were discussing.”
It doesn’t sound like a full sentence, does it? If I instead said this: “Joey and I were discussing wedding plans,” it makes a lot more sense, and it actually sounds complete.
Anyway, we get a brief bit about how Mustang starts to say that Jacob and Alice need to know about the Homunculi, and then Carlisle says he needs to go to work. Its pointless.
"Now the first thing you need to know about are the homunculi," he repeated.
"Who and what are they?" Jacob asked.
"Homunculi," Charlie said, "are fake human beings; they are created when someone tries to bring a person back to life through alchemy. As you both know, this is the one thing an alchemist must not do. There are terrible consequences if you do."
Now, Fullmetal Alchemist is sort of an anomaly, in that it technically has two canons. When the manga was first written, it was popular enough to warrant a show. However, the manga only had about twenty chapters at the time, so the anime they made in 2003 deviated a lot from the source material, because it wasn’t finished yet. So, in the 2003 canon, that is how Homunculi are created.
When the manga was close to finishing, another anime series (called Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood) was made to adapt the source material faithfully. It came out in 2009, and in that series, Homunculi are created very differently. In fact, both series are incredibly different in storyline, and in its cast of characters.
Now, keep these two differing canons in mind, because the author sure as hell doesn’t.
"I think I've read somewhere that people try it anyway, though," Alice said.
"That is correct, people do try it." Mustang said. "I'm sure you will meet the Elric brothers in a day or so. You can see what the consequences were for them."
Jacob and Alice both had strange expressions on their faces.
What? Were they scared? Or were they just doing this:
The four adults laughed. "It's not horrendous, but the older brother, Edward lost an arm and a leg because of it. His younger brother, Alphonse lost his entire body and his soul is bound to a suit of armor." Mustang explained.
Um, no, that is, in fact, HORRENDOUS.
Ed and Al were little boys. Their mother had just died, and they wanted to see her again, because she was the only family they had. Their MISSING LIMBS and BODIES didn’t just go “poof”. They were literally dismantled. Deconstructed.
Yeah.
Not.
Horrendous.
At.
All.
This isn’t bad simply because they’re laughing off a horrible and traumatizing experience, this is bad because they are making light of the consequences of Human Transmutation. You just told them that it was dangerous. Laughing about it and telling them that it is not that bad could very well make them believe that attempting Human Transmutation is a good idea!
This in fact starts a new count, JUST A FLESH WOUND. This count will be used when something happens or is discussed in the fic that is very serious, but is then dropped a second later or downplayed.
JUST A FLESH WOUND: 1
Click to view"You have to be very powerful to be able to do that." Jacob whistled, impressed.
Yes, Ed and Al are very very good at Alchemy, but you just heard that they were basically ripped apart! YOU SHOULD NOT BE IMPRESSED, YOU SHOULD BE HORRIFIED.
"Why would the homunculi come here?" Alice asked.
"Because, they think Victoria has the stone," Billy said.
I thought you said in Chapter One that you didn’t think the Homunculi would come? I mean, you were obviously wrong, but still.
Jacob and Alice looked at each other and asked together, "What stone?"
"The Philosopher's stone." Charlie said. When the new alchemists looked confused, Mustang elaborated. "The Philosopher's stone is a magical stone that can do almost anything -including creating objects from thin air, and supposedly, giving you eternal life. It can also make a part-human into a full human, and give a body to a soul only bound to a human substance," he said.
“and give a body to a soul only bound to a human substance”
I have no idea what that means. I mean, at all. I really don’t know what they are saying here.
"Isn't it a myth though?" Jacob asked.
The adults glanced at each other.
"Oh boy." Billy sighed. "It isn't. A few years back, there was a war in a land called Ishbal, and most of the alchemist got a fake stone made from the real one. After the war, all was taken back and the stone was lost." he said.
Again, this is also true for the 2003 anime canon, but not the 2009 Brotherhood show. Also, I think the country is usually called “Ishval” now, because that seems to be the proper translation, but I’m letting it slide because they did call it that in the 2003 series.
"Why would Victoria want the stone?" Alice frowned.
It’s true that you can bypass equivalent exchange with the stone, but I don’t know exactly why Victoria would want it. We have no indication that she’s even an alchemist, so it seems rather pointless.
"We don't know," Mustang admitted. "But we do know that if the homunculi join with her, we don't stand a fighting chance."
"Speaking of which, Lust and Gluttony passed by today while we were in a restaurant. We don't know how much she heard." Billy said.
Also, this gets a count, because of how casually it is addressed.
JUST A FLESH WOUND: 2
"Right, Armstrong will be here when the boys get here. I've been having him follow them secretly."
Riiiiight.
Anyway, Mustang also tells them to be aware of Scar. Maybe in the next sentence he’ll say that Scar “isn’t all that dangerous.” -__-
"He was spotted in a few towns over," Chief Swan said, showing them a picture. "He is targeting all state alchemists."
"But wouldn't a vampire and a werewolf be able to beat him?" Alice asked.
Mustang shook his head. "You are not to try," he instructed them sternly.
"Do you think he will join Victoria?" Billy asked.
"No, he just wants revenge after Resunbul.”
...What? I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure the author means “Resembool”, the town that Ed and Al grew up in, but that makes no sense. Scar was revenge because his people were massacred in Ishval by the military and State Alchemists. Resembool is near the border of the East, where Ishval is, but it still had basically nothing to do with the war. This is a fact in BOTH canons.
CANON FAIL: 7
“Speaking of which, did Carlisle talk to-?"
"No," Charlie said, eyeing the kids and cutting him off.
Mustang pursed his lips. "Now is more crucial then ever. If he doesn't you need to, Charlie-"
*Sigh*. It’s a pet peeve when authors play up the MYSTERIOUS DIALOGUE angle, especially when it really makes no sense to be there. If they don’t want to discuss this in front of the kids, why not wait until they leave? Or, you could just say: “Hey, we’re all done here, can we go talk?” It’s really not that difficult.
Grammatically speaking, it’s a little strange to cut off the sentence there, especially with what follows:
They talked a bit more before calling it a night. On the edge of town, a boy with a blond braid and red coat stood with a big metal robot, stopping to take in the view.
Holy scene change Batman!
"Well Al, we're here. Let's see if we can find Carlisle."
I have never met this Well Al. Is he the brother of Sick Al?
Well, another chapter down. :/
Final Count:
CANON FAIL: 7
JUST A FLESH WOUND: 2