Okay. So,
neur0vanity is being kind enough to design a layout for my new Numb3rs het comm, and her original version, at least, was quite purple. I thought, wow, I should write her a little something to show my appreciation!
This is not that little something. This was going to be that little something, but as soon as I got about four sentences in I went, OMG I can't OFFER this to somebody, it's CRACK.
neur0vanity deserves something a thousand times better than this. But it made me laugh, so I decided to post it anyway. You guys don't have to read it, I won't mind. :-)
Anyway, there's the backstory. "Purple." Also, I had just taken a bio test, and I'm thinking maybe that made me a little crazy or something. Heh.
Oh! I just realized I have the perfect song to post here OMG!!! hee.
Start Wearing Purple - Gogol Bordello Don stared incredulously. "It's very... purple," he finally said, raising an eyebrow.
Charlie narrowed his eyes. "You secretly love it, don't you?"
"Well," Don frowned, "purple satin is a good look for you, I suppose. You needed something to make you look girly since you cut your hair."
"Shut up," Charlie said. "You're just jealous."
"Charlie, it has flowing sleeves and ruffles. You couldn't pay me to wear that."
"It's a costume," Charlie insisted. "The ruffles make it authentic!"
"Look, all I'm saying is you're no kind of man if you let Amita talk you into wearing that."
Charlie blushed pink and mumbled something.
"What's that?"
Charlie rolled his eyes. "It wasn't Amita, okay."
"Wow," Don said. "See, when I thought you were gettin' some from this, I was willing to eventually forget about it, but if there's no sex involved... Chuck, I don't even know what to say. I'm worried about you, here."
Charlie ignored him, straightening the ruffles on his collar and sleeves. After a minute Don said, "So who was it, then?"
"Who was what?" Charlie asked, sounding bored.
"Who talked you into wearing that monstrosity--" at the glare Charlie shot him, he stopped, correcting himself. "I mean, that piece of authentic folk costuming?"
Charlie shifted uncomfortably and sighed. "Millie," he mumbled, finally.
His cheeks were still burning pink, Don's laughter still ringing in his ears, when he arrived at the event, Millie on his arm.