applicant #031
01. When you die what would you most like people to do when they hear your name?
3. Think in admiration of your achievements.
I'm really tempted by 4, and think it's incredibly important to live that way, and I don't care about being remembered, really. I don't want the admiration so much, especially since I'll be dead, but I do want to do something great enough in life that it will be remembered after I'm dead -- but I want it to be something that improves life for everyone. The idea of personal fame after death is not so appealing to me as the idea of being able to do something important and useful on a large scale, and one way of indicating that kind of achievement is to have it remembered long afterward. I want to know myself, before I'm dead myself, that I've done something important enough to enough people that it will last, but it's the importance that I care about, not the lasting fame.
02. What power would you like to have?
3. The ability to change the past
Without a doubt. Although with the caveat that I have enough foresight to work out how what I change will change other things, since I want to do only good with the power. That might mean changing nothing at all, ultimately, I suppose, but I'm always tormented with thoughts of what I could have done better in a given situation, what I should have done, what I did wrong. I would love the chance to do things over again. And, you know, prevent the Holocaust, and other genocides. Do something about climate change. That would be pretty wonderful.
03. What are you most looking forward to learning at Hogwarts?
2. Transfiguration
Transfiguration and Charms would be my favorite classes, I think. The ability to change something into something else is incredibly appealing to me. I think I'd also enjoy learning why certain things were easier to transfigure into certain other things, the theory behind it. I enjoyed studying physics and quantum mechanics in college, and the logic seems somehow similar to me.
04. Which road tempts you the most?
3. The twisting leaf-strewn path in the woods
I love walking in the woods, and wish I had the chance to do it more. I particularly like it in the autumn, with leaves changing and covering the paths. Sounds delightful.
05. Four boxes are placed before you. Which do you open?
4. The small pewter box, unassuming and plain, with a scratched message upon it that reads ‘I only open for the worthy’
I have the suspicion that none of the other boxes hold things I'd particularly want to meet with. The squeaking thing might well bite me -- though I do feel a pang at the idea of not rescuing it. I do not want unspeakable temptation; that box just sounds like bad news. The awesomeness inside is probably not outweighed by the torments. The Mark of Merlin box probably has something really important in it, but I don't know that I'd know what to do with it. If I choose box 4, and it opens for me, I'll know that I'll know what to do, if that makes sense. And according to traditional fairy-tale logic, the best stuff is always in the plain box, always hidden, never flashy. Plus, the validation of feeling 'worthy'. I want to test myself on this box.
06. You are walking and come to a crossroads. Which path do you take?
1. The path that leads to a beach
This is hard, because I love the forest, but I also love the beach, particularly walking along it and finding shells and just enjoying the air. I'm not sure if I'm walking to a particular destination in this scenario, but if I am, I bet it would be easier to navigate along the coast than through a forest, since it's easier to tell when the trail is turning. Though walking through sand for long distances is considerably more tiring than walking in a forest. Still, beach.
07. Which item would you pick out of a chest?
6. Old book
It's like a scroll, but bigger, so I feel like the odds of their being something cool or useful are greater because there's more of it.
08. How would you like to be remembered in history?
2. Being good
I had this question in my actual sorting and was dissatisfied with it because none of them quite describe what I want. In the sorting, I chose 'Good', because I want to help people and make a difference in the world, but I've been sort of tormented by the choice, because I feel like 'good' doesn't really go far enough. You can be remembered as 'good' if you are just basically decent to people, but I feel like I want to do so much more. I didn't want to choose 'wise' -- though I'd like to be -- because plenty of wise people (or at least people remembered as 'wise') don't do much with that wisdom. 'Bold' and 'Great' are worrying, too -- both are sort of divorced from the consequences of actions, showing a level of impact but not the type or value of the impact. So I guess I'll go with 'good' again, but with the explanation I feel better about it. Being a good person just… somehow doesn't feel like enough, if that makes sense? I want to be remembered as great for doing good.
09. Would you rather invent a potion that would give you...
4. Wisdom
Love through a potion feels unscrupulous. There's this sort of embarrassing and craven part of me that does crave glory, but I don't think I want it through a potion -- that would make my self-doubt even worse, since I'd know I hadn't earned it, and would never truly know if I was worthy. Power through a potion seems destined to end badly, even if I do often feel like the world is a mess AND I JUST NEED TO FIX IT ALL SO PUT ME IN CHARGE. So, wisdom: to enable me to find the other three things on the list on my own.
10. Which do you find most difficult to deal with?
1. Boredom
I hate hate hate hate being bored. I react like a caged animal; keep me bored long enough and I develop all manner of tics and start wanting to tear myself apart. I need to feel like I have a purpose -- I need something to do at all times, but it can't just be busywork, it has to be something useful. It's odd, though: I'm no good at seeking out things to do on my own, so I often get into that bored-and-frenzied state. I need to feel like I'm doing something for others, for a purpose. If left on my own I won't draw or write or clean or anything, I'll just sort of stew in my boredom.
11. Four goblets are placed in front of you, which would you choose to drink?
3. Golden liquid, which makes sun spots dance around the room
I do not want to drink diamonds, and I hate plums, and the visions one sounds frightening (although sort of appealing). This one sounds lovely, and like it would bestow something pleasant on the drinker.
12. A troll has gone berserk in the headmaster’s office and is going to destroy the precious items. In what order would you save the following?
1. Cure dragonpox potion
2. Merlin’s Books
3. Student records
I'd keep it in that order. Not saving the dragonpox potion just sounds irresponsible and inhumane. Merlin's books are interesting, I'm sure, and of historical importance, but the dragonpox potion can help people now. The student records, I have to confess, I don't much care about. The troll can have those.
13. Once every century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers that adapt their scent to attract the unwary. What would they smell like to you?
4. A crackling log fire
I love being at the shore, and I do like the smell of salt air, but the sea... doesn't always smell good. For a while I lived in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and when people have fires there, it's usually pinon wood, which smells amazing. I'm allergic to woodsmoke in real life, but I suspect the Flutterby would smell like a November night in Santa Fe, around the time of the year's first snow: cold, and piney with the scent of juniper forest, and tinged with pinon smoke.
14. Which would you most hate being called by other people?
3. Being ignorant.
Oh man. I'd hate to be called any of these things. All of them would offend my pride pretty deeply, and if said by enough people, or with enough venom, any of them would infuriate me and probably make me cry. But which is worst… man. I'm torn between ignorance and being ordinary, and I really don't know which is worse. I get more defensive when it's suggested I'm ignorant, but deep down, more than anything else, I think I fear being ordinary. So I'd least like to be *called* ignorant, even though I'm more afraid of being ordinary, and worry about it a lot. Somehow being called ordinary would hurt less, even if learning on my own and believing myself to be ordinary would hurt even more than being called ignorant.
15. Which would you rather be?
3. Praised
I'd like to be trusted, but I feel like I already am. I'm pretty trustworthy. There are people who don't trust me, but they have their reasons, and it doesn't bother me much. I get irritated when I'm not trusted and feel that I should be, of course, but since trust is sort of the default it isn't something I truly desire. But I do want to be praised. I don't get much praise, and even though actually getting praised is always sort of embarrassing and I don't entirely know how to handle it… I really do sort of like it. Which itself is sort of embarrassing, but it's true.
16. A muggle confronts you and says that they are sure you are a witch or wizard. Do you:
4. Tell them you think perhaps they need to call the mental hospital
To be honest I'd probably just walk away without interacting at all, that seems the soundest course of action. Generally, when I deal with people in real life confronting me at random (say, disturbed people at the bus stop, or what have you), that's what I do. Actually engaging, in any way, is usually a mistake. Since they're 'confronting', I don't want to bait them, and there's no point in revealing my nature to them, so I'd just leave. If that isn't an option, I suppose I'd try 4, but gently, in a concerned way, not a mocking one. And then I'd leave.
17. Which are you most afraid of?
I'm not really afraid of any of these things, but I suppose fire, since it can't really be controlled or dealt with in a simple way. Fear of the dark's pretty easy: just use a flashlight. I like walking at night anyway, so dark isn't a big deal. Isolation is miserable if it's not voluntary, but it's peaceful if it is voluntary, and I'm pretty introverted, so not having people around isn't a frightening prospect (indeed, sometimes it's necessary). When I was small, there was a fire alarm at my grandmother's apartment complex, where I was staying; there was no fire, as it turned out, but we had to evacuate, and I remember the sirens and alarms, and my grandmother racing down the hall knocking on doors to wake everyone, and all of us standing in the parking lot in the dark like wraiths in our nightclothes with the full August moon overhead, not knowing what was happening. It kind of messed me up for a while: I started making sure my slippers were by the bed, pointing to the door, and worrying over which of my stuffed animals I could save, in a fire, arranging all my stuffed animals before bed each night to make sure I could grab as many as I could. For a long time after, sirens would startle me and get me all upset. So I guess fire. But not really the concept of fire: specifically, burning buildings.
18. One of your house mates has cheated in a Hogwarts exam by using a self-spelling quill....What do you do?
2. Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate (and resolve to tell your classmate that if he doesn’t tell the truth, you will.)
Cheating really bothers me, but I wouldn't want to call the cheater out in front of everyone prior to an exam. I think being confronted by Professor Flitwick in private is the best way for the matter to be handled, but I would certainly not hesitate to tell on the person after he'd been given the chance to confess honorably.
19. Which of the following would you most like to study?
1. Centaurs
These seem to have such a fascinating and rich culture. On the sorting test I hesitated to choose them, and went with werewolves, which I also find fascinating. It's weird: I don't feel entirely comfortable classing centaurs as magical creatures, since they're basically people. I'd like to study both werewolves and centaurs, but I'd probably have more fun with the centaurs, even though studying werewolves (and maybe figuring out how to control/cure lycanthropy) would probably ultimately be more useful and meaningful.
20. A troll stops you and your group at a bridge and demands one of you fight him before you can pass.
3. Try and trick the troll into letting you all pass without fighting him.
This just seems much easier than the other options. Trolls do not appear to be particularly smart. If the trick fails, we fight, but why pick an unnecessary fight with something that big? We probably have other places to be.
21. What is the first thing you'd explore in a magical garden?
3. The bubbling pool, in the depths of which something luminous is swirling
All sound appealing, but I'd want to know what was in here. Then probably the winking statue, and then the apples. I'd be drawn to the water straight off: even in non-magical gardens that's true. I love fountains.
22. Which of the following would you consider the scariest nightmare?
2. Talking in a silly voice so no one could understand you and everyone laughing This genuinely sounds kind of terrifying. The eye at the keyhole, sure, and that's a pretty standard nightmare trope, but the scale of the mocking nightmare -- and the fact that I'm begin misunderstood and mocked -- just makes it so much worse.
23. Late at night, walking alone down the street, you hear a peculiar cry that you believe to have a magical source. Do you:
1 Proceed with caution, keeping one hand on your concealed wand and an eye out for any disturbance?
This seems the most sensible way to proceed. It's what I'd do in a nonmagical situation as well.
24. Which do you prefer?
2. Stars
I love the moon, and I love how it changes, but the stars are so complex and numerous, and I can watch them for hours. I find them very comforting.
25. Which do you prefer?
1. River
This one confuses me, since usually rivers are in forests. But I like the sound of flowing water, and I sometimes find unbroken forests a bit claustrophobic and isolating, so river it is.
26. Which do you prefer?
2. Dusk
Dusk is my favorite time of day. I love watching the sun sink as the stars all come out. It's magical. Dawn is just too early to wake up, anyway.
27. Which piece would you choose while playing chess?
1. Black
Usually I like to play black, but not for any strategic reason. It's going to sound silly, but the plastic that chess pieces are usually made of looks rather unappealing in white, and I find black plastic more aesthetically pleasing. Were they carved out of marble or something, I might well go with white.
28. You arrive at a fork in the road. Not knowing what lies down either way, do you go…
2. Left
I'm choosing this one on impulse.
3. Think in admiration of your achievements.
I'm really tempted by 4, and think it's incredibly important to live that way, and I don't care about being remembered, really. I don't want the admiration so much, especially since I'll be dead, but I do want to do something great enough in life that it will be remembered after I'm dead -- but I want it to be something that improves life for everyone. The idea of personal fame after death is not so appealing to me as the idea of being able to do something important and useful on a large scale, and one way of indicating that kind of achievement is to have it remembered long afterward. I want to know myself, before I'm dead myself, that I've done something important enough to enough people that it will last, but it's the importance that I care about, not the lasting fame.
02. What power would you like to have?
3. The ability to change the past
Without a doubt. Although with the caveat that I have enough foresight to work out how what I change will change other things, since I want to do only good with the power. That might mean changing nothing at all, ultimately, I suppose, but I'm always tormented with thoughts of what I could have done better in a given situation, what I should have done, what I did wrong. I would love the chance to do things over again. And, you know, prevent the Holocaust, and other genocides. Do something about climate change. That would be pretty wonderful.
03. What are you most looking forward to learning at Hogwarts?
2. Transfiguration
Transfiguration and Charms would be my favorite classes, I think. The ability to change something into something else is incredibly appealing to me. I think I'd also enjoy learning why certain things were easier to transfigure into certain other things, the theory behind it. I enjoyed studying physics and quantum mechanics in college, and the logic seems somehow similar to me.
04. Which road tempts you the most?
3. The twisting leaf-strewn path in the woods
I love walking in the woods, and wish I had the chance to do it more. I particularly like it in the autumn, with leaves changing and covering the paths. Sounds delightful.
05. Four boxes are placed before you. Which do you open?
4. The small pewter box, unassuming and plain, with a scratched message upon it that reads ‘I only open for the worthy’
I have the suspicion that none of the other boxes hold things I'd particularly want to meet with. The squeaking thing might well bite me -- though I do feel a pang at the idea of not rescuing it. I do not want unspeakable temptation; that box just sounds like bad news. The awesomeness inside is probably not outweighed by the torments. The Mark of Merlin box probably has something really important in it, but I don't know that I'd know what to do with it. If I choose box 4, and it opens for me, I'll know that I'll know what to do, if that makes sense. And according to traditional fairy-tale logic, the best stuff is always in the plain box, always hidden, never flashy. Plus, the validation of feeling 'worthy'. I want to test myself on this box.
06. You are walking and come to a crossroads. Which path do you take?
1. The path that leads to a beach
This is hard, because I love the forest, but I also love the beach, particularly walking along it and finding shells and just enjoying the air. I'm not sure if I'm walking to a particular destination in this scenario, but if I am, I bet it would be easier to navigate along the coast than through a forest, since it's easier to tell when the trail is turning. Though walking through sand for long distances is considerably more tiring than walking in a forest. Still, beach.
07. Which item would you pick out of a chest?
6. Old book
It's like a scroll, but bigger, so I feel like the odds of their being something cool or useful are greater because there's more of it.
08. How would you like to be remembered in history?
2. Being good
I had this question in my actual sorting and was dissatisfied with it because none of them quite describe what I want. In the sorting, I chose 'Good', because I want to help people and make a difference in the world, but I've been sort of tormented by the choice, because I feel like 'good' doesn't really go far enough. You can be remembered as 'good' if you are just basically decent to people, but I feel like I want to do so much more. I didn't want to choose 'wise' -- though I'd like to be -- because plenty of wise people (or at least people remembered as 'wise') don't do much with that wisdom. 'Bold' and 'Great' are worrying, too -- both are sort of divorced from the consequences of actions, showing a level of impact but not the type or value of the impact. So I guess I'll go with 'good' again, but with the explanation I feel better about it. Being a good person just… somehow doesn't feel like enough, if that makes sense? I want to be remembered as great for doing good.
09. Would you rather invent a potion that would give you...
4. Wisdom
Love through a potion feels unscrupulous. There's this sort of embarrassing and craven part of me that does crave glory, but I don't think I want it through a potion -- that would make my self-doubt even worse, since I'd know I hadn't earned it, and would never truly know if I was worthy. Power through a potion seems destined to end badly, even if I do often feel like the world is a mess AND I JUST NEED TO FIX IT ALL SO PUT ME IN CHARGE. So, wisdom: to enable me to find the other three things on the list on my own.
10. Which do you find most difficult to deal with?
1. Boredom
I hate hate hate hate being bored. I react like a caged animal; keep me bored long enough and I develop all manner of tics and start wanting to tear myself apart. I need to feel like I have a purpose -- I need something to do at all times, but it can't just be busywork, it has to be something useful. It's odd, though: I'm no good at seeking out things to do on my own, so I often get into that bored-and-frenzied state. I need to feel like I'm doing something for others, for a purpose. If left on my own I won't draw or write or clean or anything, I'll just sort of stew in my boredom.
11. Four goblets are placed in front of you, which would you choose to drink?
3. Golden liquid, which makes sun spots dance around the room
I do not want to drink diamonds, and I hate plums, and the visions one sounds frightening (although sort of appealing). This one sounds lovely, and like it would bestow something pleasant on the drinker.
12. A troll has gone berserk in the headmaster’s office and is going to destroy the precious items. In what order would you save the following?
1. Cure dragonpox potion
2. Merlin’s Books
3. Student records
I'd keep it in that order. Not saving the dragonpox potion just sounds irresponsible and inhumane. Merlin's books are interesting, I'm sure, and of historical importance, but the dragonpox potion can help people now. The student records, I have to confess, I don't much care about. The troll can have those.
13. Once every century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers that adapt their scent to attract the unwary. What would they smell like to you?
4. A crackling log fire
I love being at the shore, and I do like the smell of salt air, but the sea... doesn't always smell good. For a while I lived in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and when people have fires there, it's usually pinon wood, which smells amazing. I'm allergic to woodsmoke in real life, but I suspect the Flutterby would smell like a November night in Santa Fe, around the time of the year's first snow: cold, and piney with the scent of juniper forest, and tinged with pinon smoke.
14. Which would you most hate being called by other people?
3. Being ignorant.
Oh man. I'd hate to be called any of these things. All of them would offend my pride pretty deeply, and if said by enough people, or with enough venom, any of them would infuriate me and probably make me cry. But which is worst… man. I'm torn between ignorance and being ordinary, and I really don't know which is worse. I get more defensive when it's suggested I'm ignorant, but deep down, more than anything else, I think I fear being ordinary. So I'd least like to be *called* ignorant, even though I'm more afraid of being ordinary, and worry about it a lot. Somehow being called ordinary would hurt less, even if learning on my own and believing myself to be ordinary would hurt even more than being called ignorant.
15. Which would you rather be?
3. Praised
I'd like to be trusted, but I feel like I already am. I'm pretty trustworthy. There are people who don't trust me, but they have their reasons, and it doesn't bother me much. I get irritated when I'm not trusted and feel that I should be, of course, but since trust is sort of the default it isn't something I truly desire. But I do want to be praised. I don't get much praise, and even though actually getting praised is always sort of embarrassing and I don't entirely know how to handle it… I really do sort of like it. Which itself is sort of embarrassing, but it's true.
16. A muggle confronts you and says that they are sure you are a witch or wizard. Do you:
4. Tell them you think perhaps they need to call the mental hospital
To be honest I'd probably just walk away without interacting at all, that seems the soundest course of action. Generally, when I deal with people in real life confronting me at random (say, disturbed people at the bus stop, or what have you), that's what I do. Actually engaging, in any way, is usually a mistake. Since they're 'confronting', I don't want to bait them, and there's no point in revealing my nature to them, so I'd just leave. If that isn't an option, I suppose I'd try 4, but gently, in a concerned way, not a mocking one. And then I'd leave.
17. Which are you most afraid of?
I'm not really afraid of any of these things, but I suppose fire, since it can't really be controlled or dealt with in a simple way. Fear of the dark's pretty easy: just use a flashlight. I like walking at night anyway, so dark isn't a big deal. Isolation is miserable if it's not voluntary, but it's peaceful if it is voluntary, and I'm pretty introverted, so not having people around isn't a frightening prospect (indeed, sometimes it's necessary). When I was small, there was a fire alarm at my grandmother's apartment complex, where I was staying; there was no fire, as it turned out, but we had to evacuate, and I remember the sirens and alarms, and my grandmother racing down the hall knocking on doors to wake everyone, and all of us standing in the parking lot in the dark like wraiths in our nightclothes with the full August moon overhead, not knowing what was happening. It kind of messed me up for a while: I started making sure my slippers were by the bed, pointing to the door, and worrying over which of my stuffed animals I could save, in a fire, arranging all my stuffed animals before bed each night to make sure I could grab as many as I could. For a long time after, sirens would startle me and get me all upset. So I guess fire. But not really the concept of fire: specifically, burning buildings.
18. One of your house mates has cheated in a Hogwarts exam by using a self-spelling quill....What do you do?
2. Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate (and resolve to tell your classmate that if he doesn’t tell the truth, you will.)
Cheating really bothers me, but I wouldn't want to call the cheater out in front of everyone prior to an exam. I think being confronted by Professor Flitwick in private is the best way for the matter to be handled, but I would certainly not hesitate to tell on the person after he'd been given the chance to confess honorably.
19. Which of the following would you most like to study?
1. Centaurs
These seem to have such a fascinating and rich culture. On the sorting test I hesitated to choose them, and went with werewolves, which I also find fascinating. It's weird: I don't feel entirely comfortable classing centaurs as magical creatures, since they're basically people. I'd like to study both werewolves and centaurs, but I'd probably have more fun with the centaurs, even though studying werewolves (and maybe figuring out how to control/cure lycanthropy) would probably ultimately be more useful and meaningful.
20. A troll stops you and your group at a bridge and demands one of you fight him before you can pass.
3. Try and trick the troll into letting you all pass without fighting him.
This just seems much easier than the other options. Trolls do not appear to be particularly smart. If the trick fails, we fight, but why pick an unnecessary fight with something that big? We probably have other places to be.
21. What is the first thing you'd explore in a magical garden?
3. The bubbling pool, in the depths of which something luminous is swirling
All sound appealing, but I'd want to know what was in here. Then probably the winking statue, and then the apples. I'd be drawn to the water straight off: even in non-magical gardens that's true. I love fountains.
22. Which of the following would you consider the scariest nightmare?
2. Talking in a silly voice so no one could understand you and everyone laughing This genuinely sounds kind of terrifying. The eye at the keyhole, sure, and that's a pretty standard nightmare trope, but the scale of the mocking nightmare -- and the fact that I'm begin misunderstood and mocked -- just makes it so much worse.
23. Late at night, walking alone down the street, you hear a peculiar cry that you believe to have a magical source. Do you:
1 Proceed with caution, keeping one hand on your concealed wand and an eye out for any disturbance?
This seems the most sensible way to proceed. It's what I'd do in a nonmagical situation as well.
24. Which do you prefer?
2. Stars
I love the moon, and I love how it changes, but the stars are so complex and numerous, and I can watch them for hours. I find them very comforting.
25. Which do you prefer?
1. River
This one confuses me, since usually rivers are in forests. But I like the sound of flowing water, and I sometimes find unbroken forests a bit claustrophobic and isolating, so river it is.
26. Which do you prefer?
2. Dusk
Dusk is my favorite time of day. I love watching the sun sink as the stars all come out. It's magical. Dawn is just too early to wake up, anyway.
27. Which piece would you choose while playing chess?
1. Black
Usually I like to play black, but not for any strategic reason. It's going to sound silly, but the plastic that chess pieces are usually made of looks rather unappealing in white, and I find black plastic more aesthetically pleasing. Were they carved out of marble or something, I might well go with white.
28. You arrive at a fork in the road. Not knowing what lies down either way, do you go…
2. Left
I'm choosing this one on impulse.