give me something to come home to
Vampires probably don't bleed. That's all I really have to say about this.
give me something to come home to
otempora01, rated G for hugging. Really graphic hugging.
Twilight, Jacob/Bella, mentions of Edward/Bella, post-Eclipse, which means spoilers.
Just when Jacob’s given up on her coming back, she does.
Complete, 2,265 words.
*
Baby, seasons change but people don't.
And I'll always be waiting in the back room.
I'm boring but overcompensate with
Headlines and flash, flash, flash photography.
But don't pretend you ever forgot about me.
Don't pretend you ever forgot about me.
-The Take Over, The Break’s Over, Fall Out Boy
*
She shows up on his doorstep like she’s never left. Their noses wrinkle simultaneously, both crying, “You stink,” in perfect unison.
“You smell like a rotting corpse,” he says, leaning against the doorpost and looking down at her speculatively.
“You smell like a dirty dog,” she replies, looking up at him without shame. She’s exactly the same, but horrifyingly different. “Can I come in?”
Jacob thinks about it. He thinks about the Bella he used to know, pale but with a flush that betrayed her vitality, plain and awkward and prone to blushing, funny and reckless and always, unconsciously, drawn to his heat. He tries to reconcile this image with the Bella she is now: beautiful in an otherworldly kind of way, pale as death, with large bruises beneath her eyes, and skin that would, no doubt, be hard and cold to the touch.
“No, I don’t think you should,” he says at last, folding his arms. “If you come in here, I can’t let you leave again.”
She smiles, as though expecting his answer. “Let’s go to the beach.”
*
It’s been two and a half years and neither of them have aged a day. They sit five feet away from each other in the sand, but Jacob is downwind and can smell her just as easily as if she were right next to him.
The scent has him on edge, hair rising at the back of his neck, teeth grinding to keep him from growling and attacking. He’s gotten better at controlling his instincts, but he hasn’t caught sight nor smell of a vampire in two and a half years. He wasn’t expecting the next one he saw to be Bella.
Bella skips rocks into the ocean, finally able to get some distance. She sits with a grace and poise that wasn’t there before and he misses the awkwardness, the clumsy Bella of old. Then she skips a rock, whimpers, “Ow,” and her palm bleeds stolen blood for seconds before the wound closes again.
She catches him staring and looks sheepish. “Cow. I fed before I came.”
Jacob feels sick.
“Where is everyone?” Bella asks, lowering her gaze and hiding her hand.
They’re out searching for the Cullens, is where they are, because they all loved Bella as if she was one of their own, had all hoped she’d stop being a feisty little vampire girl before it was too late, were all disappointed when she didn’t. Some-Leah in particular-gave up the search after a few months, saying it wasn’t worth it, but Embry and Quil and Sam and Jacob himself took off for Alaska as often as possible to no avail. Who knew Bella would find them?
“School,” he says tersely and looks away as well.
Their silences have always been comfortable, but this one is awkward, loaded, full of things unsaid and questions unasked. Jacob’s foot twitches and begins shaking, a nervous gesture that has Bella snickering before she can stop herself.
He glances at her and catches her smirking. “What?”
“You’re shaking your foot,” she points out, snickering again. “You really are a dog.”
Jacob’s hackles rise, his instincts begging him to take offense and rip this bloodsucker to shreds, but then Bella grins at him and he’s helpless to do anything more than grin back.
“You bleed cow blood when you bother to bleed at all,” Jacob taunts. “How many times did you pass out before you got used to it?”
Bella makes a face similar to the one she used to make when she could blush, lower lip jutting out and brows furrowing. “Not many. At least I don’t have anger management problems.”
Jacob tries to look stern. “I do not have anger management problems, leech.”
“Flea-bitten mongrel.”
“Aren’t fleas your third cousins once removed?”
Bella cracks up.
Jacob’s lips twitch but that’s as good as he can do considering his nose is burning with the stench of vampire and his best friend ate a cow on her way to come see him. There’s a severe difference between eating raw meat and draining a living animal of its blood, just like there’s a difference between living and dead, fire and ice, werewolves and bloodsuckers.
Bella has always toed the line, but now she has crossed it and to have her here, acting like his Bella and smelling like his natural enemy, is almost more than he can take.
He sighs. “What are you doing here, Bells? If any of the guys knew you were here, they’d hunt you down. I wouldn’t let them, you know that, but they’d want to.”
“Would they?” Bella seems surprised to hear this. “But I’m neutral. I’m Switzerland.”
“Leeches can’t be Switzerland,” Jacob says callously. “You stopped being Switzerland the minute you were bitten. Now you’re Franz Ferdinand.”
Bella gets unsteadily to her feet, hugging herself tightly, holding herself together. He realizes with a sudden, sickening jolt, why she’s here.
“Bella, where are the Cullens?” he asks, wary, feeling his own heart begin to throb in anticipation of her pain. Her pain, his pain. “Did they-?”
“They’re in Alaska,” Bella says distractedly, sounding for all the world like they could be in Zimbabwe for all she cares. “Don’t ask me specifics. I promised I wouldn’t sell them out.”
Jacob is confused, the understatement of the century. “They know you’re here?”
“Well, of course,” she throws him a glare before looking out at the ocean, searching for answers. “Think of Edward Cullen, Jake. Do you really believe I would have made it here alone without his permission?”
Jacob supposes she’s right, but he’s more focused on how she says the leech’s name. Gone is the fond, almost dreamy tone of a girl in love. She is matter-of-fact, disinterested. He’s sure he must be imagining things.
She spares him a glance and Jacob realizes he’s gone too long without answering. He searches for something to say.
“Do you still have my motorcycle?” she asks softly.
Jacob swallows. “Polished and waiting for you in the garage.”
She smiles and it’s so blinding that he almost forgets what she is. Almost, but not quite.
*
She marvels over the motorcycle like it’s an old friend she meant to visit but never got around to. Jacob has kept it in perfect working conditions after two years, covering it with a tarp and checking to make sure everything’s still in working order. Embry says he’s obsessive compulsive, but Sam understands and doesn’t ask questions when he says he’s going to the garage.
Her eyes are glittering when she looks back at him. “Can we ride them?”
Jacob looks at the sky. It’s still overcast, but the sun is starting to peek out. He shakes his head. “You’re going to glitter like flint rock out there. The glare might make me run my bike off the cliffs,” he gives her a sidelong glance. “Unless that’s your plan?”
She leans against the bike, sighing. “I don’t have a plan. Honestly, I was expecting you to shut the door in my face.”
“I considered it,” he lies.
Bella rubs her arm anxiously. “You said I could come back and visit.”
“I said I’d think on it,” Jacob corrects, wondering why he’s being so difficult. But the other side of him, the part that’s still angry that she gave him, gave life, up so easily tells him that she deserves it. “I wasn’t really expecting your leeches to let you visit.”
“Look, if you want me to go, I will,” she snaps angrily and Jacob’s lips twitch again as he remembers her yelling and stamping her foot. “But I came back for you, Jake. Edward and I…” she seems to deflate. “It wasn’t what I thought it would be.”
“Could we take this conversation back outside? You’re stinking up the garage.”
Her skin is probably warmer than her glare.
Jacob sighs and resigns himself to an afternoon of hearing about nothing but Edward Cullen. “Let’s go inside. I need a steak.”
*
Bella arranges herself on his bed after watching him scarf down a t-bone like it’s a Happy Meal. Jacob stands by the open window, letting the wind blow away her smell. He’s slowly getting used to it, but that doesn’t mean he likes it. Billy rose an eyebrow when they walked in, but he’s an old, wise man, so he simply said, “Good to see you, Bella,” and let them walk up to his room. Jacob knows he won’t call Charlie unless they tell him to. His father’s smarter than that.
She fidgets with his pillowcase for a moment, almost rips his pillow in half, then sets it aside before she can cause anymore damage. “Have you imprinted with anyone yet?”
The question seems random and Jacob is caught off-guard for a moment. “Um. What?”
“Have you imprinted anyone?” she asks again, quieter this time. “Like Leah maybe?”
Jacob tries not to look like the very idea makes him visibly ill. “Even if I had, it wouldn’t matter. I told you that you’re the only girl for me, Bella,” he looks her over again. The same, yet so drastically different. “I’m just not sure I can call you a girl exactly.”
“I’m not a girl,” she says as though it should be obvious. “I’m a Virgo.”
“Stop that,” he rubs a hand over his face. “Stop acting like everything hasn’t changed.”
“Nothing’s changed,” Bella says vehemently. “I’m Bella and you’re Jacob and I love you. I came back because I love you and if you can’t love me like this then you’re a liar.”
“Bella-”
“Love isn’t supposed to be conditional,” she’s glowering at him. He can tell without looking up. “I told you-if you want me to leave, I will.”
Jacob looks up, meets her eyes that are bright from being well-fed, feels revulsion and love warring for dominance. He snaps. “I don’t want you to leave, Bella, but why now? I waited and hoped you’d come back and then you show up with no explanation, smelling horrible and talking about-It’s disgusting.” He rubs his face again, turning his nose to the window for air. “I’m trying. I’m trying so hard.”
All the anger melts out of her and then she’s scrambling off the bed and walking over to him, her scent getting more and more potent, until her arms are wrapped around his middle and her face is pressed against his chest. She’s so cold, he’s half afraid she’ll melt in his arms. Still, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her close, pressing his face against her hair. It smells like strawberry shampoo. He finds this funny.
“Jake,” she murmurs. “I missed you so much. Being with Edward-I couldn’t pretend anymore, Jake. I thought he was the one I loved more, but it hurt.”
“I know the feeling,” he murmurs back, running a hand along her spine.
“It was like Edward had left me all over again, but instead of being numb, I was miserable. And the worst part is, he was so nice about it. He saw me moping around and he told me to go to you. All of them,” she’s crying. He can feel the icy droplets leaking through his shirt. “All of them came and saw me off. They don’t blame me one little bit, Jake. Even Rosalie said it was about time, but she had a hard time believing that you’d actually-”
Jacob tightens his arms around her and kisses her cold forehead. “I told you I’d be waiting in the wings. Did you think I was lying?”
“I didn’t know what to think,” Bella’s voice sounds choked. “I’m a vampire, Jake. We’re natural enemies. How is this going to even work? I can’t have children and you smell repugnant. I’m still hugging you by sheer force of will.”
Jacob laughs. “Again, I know the feeling.”
Bella slowly pulls away, sniffling and looking up at him affectionately, before she dives for the window, sticks her head out, and breathes deep. “Damn.”
Jacob laughs harder.
“It’s not funny,” Bella grumbles, still hanging half-out the window. “How is this funny?”
“Bella, you don’t need to breathe,” he manages before dissolving into laughter again.
Bella freezes, then stands up and blinks. “Oh, right. I keep forgetting that.”
This time, when Jacob laughs, she joins him.
*
“Phew,” Quil says when Jacob meets them at the cliffs later that night. “You stink, Jake.”
“Shut up,” Jacob says happily, taking a seat between him and Embry. “You’ll never believe who’s back.”
Embry wrinkles his nose. “You really do stink.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s incorrect,” Jacob can’t contain his grin. “Isabella Swan is in my house.”
Embry and Quil stare at him like he’s lost his mind. Quil looks sympathetic. “Our boy’s gone off the deep end.”
“Next thing you know, he’ll be diving off cliffs again,” Embry says, shaking his head.
Jacob rolls his eyes. “I’m serious. Why else would I smell like this?”
“When’s the last time you showered?”
Jacob gives Embry a dry look then looks up at the twinkling stars. He feels poetic, feels like if he leaped off the cliff right now, he would fly. He feels like phasing and running through the forests playing love songs in his head, but doesn’t because Embry and Quil would tackle and maul him if they had to put up with it. More than anything, he feels lighter, two and a half years worth of stress dissolved.
“She’s back,” he says quietly, reverently. “And I’ll make it work.”
give me something to come home to
otempora01, rated G for hugging. Really graphic hugging.
Twilight, Jacob/Bella, mentions of Edward/Bella, post-Eclipse, which means spoilers.
Just when Jacob’s given up on her coming back, she does.
Complete, 2,265 words.
*
Baby, seasons change but people don't.
And I'll always be waiting in the back room.
I'm boring but overcompensate with
Headlines and flash, flash, flash photography.
But don't pretend you ever forgot about me.
Don't pretend you ever forgot about me.
-The Take Over, The Break’s Over, Fall Out Boy
*
She shows up on his doorstep like she’s never left. Their noses wrinkle simultaneously, both crying, “You stink,” in perfect unison.
“You smell like a rotting corpse,” he says, leaning against the doorpost and looking down at her speculatively.
“You smell like a dirty dog,” she replies, looking up at him without shame. She’s exactly the same, but horrifyingly different. “Can I come in?”
Jacob thinks about it. He thinks about the Bella he used to know, pale but with a flush that betrayed her vitality, plain and awkward and prone to blushing, funny and reckless and always, unconsciously, drawn to his heat. He tries to reconcile this image with the Bella she is now: beautiful in an otherworldly kind of way, pale as death, with large bruises beneath her eyes, and skin that would, no doubt, be hard and cold to the touch.
“No, I don’t think you should,” he says at last, folding his arms. “If you come in here, I can’t let you leave again.”
She smiles, as though expecting his answer. “Let’s go to the beach.”
*
It’s been two and a half years and neither of them have aged a day. They sit five feet away from each other in the sand, but Jacob is downwind and can smell her just as easily as if she were right next to him.
The scent has him on edge, hair rising at the back of his neck, teeth grinding to keep him from growling and attacking. He’s gotten better at controlling his instincts, but he hasn’t caught sight nor smell of a vampire in two and a half years. He wasn’t expecting the next one he saw to be Bella.
Bella skips rocks into the ocean, finally able to get some distance. She sits with a grace and poise that wasn’t there before and he misses the awkwardness, the clumsy Bella of old. Then she skips a rock, whimpers, “Ow,” and her palm bleeds stolen blood for seconds before the wound closes again.
She catches him staring and looks sheepish. “Cow. I fed before I came.”
Jacob feels sick.
“Where is everyone?” Bella asks, lowering her gaze and hiding her hand.
They’re out searching for the Cullens, is where they are, because they all loved Bella as if she was one of their own, had all hoped she’d stop being a feisty little vampire girl before it was too late, were all disappointed when she didn’t. Some-Leah in particular-gave up the search after a few months, saying it wasn’t worth it, but Embry and Quil and Sam and Jacob himself took off for Alaska as often as possible to no avail. Who knew Bella would find them?
“School,” he says tersely and looks away as well.
Their silences have always been comfortable, but this one is awkward, loaded, full of things unsaid and questions unasked. Jacob’s foot twitches and begins shaking, a nervous gesture that has Bella snickering before she can stop herself.
He glances at her and catches her smirking. “What?”
“You’re shaking your foot,” she points out, snickering again. “You really are a dog.”
Jacob’s hackles rise, his instincts begging him to take offense and rip this bloodsucker to shreds, but then Bella grins at him and he’s helpless to do anything more than grin back.
“You bleed cow blood when you bother to bleed at all,” Jacob taunts. “How many times did you pass out before you got used to it?”
Bella makes a face similar to the one she used to make when she could blush, lower lip jutting out and brows furrowing. “Not many. At least I don’t have anger management problems.”
Jacob tries to look stern. “I do not have anger management problems, leech.”
“Flea-bitten mongrel.”
“Aren’t fleas your third cousins once removed?”
Bella cracks up.
Jacob’s lips twitch but that’s as good as he can do considering his nose is burning with the stench of vampire and his best friend ate a cow on her way to come see him. There’s a severe difference between eating raw meat and draining a living animal of its blood, just like there’s a difference between living and dead, fire and ice, werewolves and bloodsuckers.
Bella has always toed the line, but now she has crossed it and to have her here, acting like his Bella and smelling like his natural enemy, is almost more than he can take.
He sighs. “What are you doing here, Bells? If any of the guys knew you were here, they’d hunt you down. I wouldn’t let them, you know that, but they’d want to.”
“Would they?” Bella seems surprised to hear this. “But I’m neutral. I’m Switzerland.”
“Leeches can’t be Switzerland,” Jacob says callously. “You stopped being Switzerland the minute you were bitten. Now you’re Franz Ferdinand.”
Bella gets unsteadily to her feet, hugging herself tightly, holding herself together. He realizes with a sudden, sickening jolt, why she’s here.
“Bella, where are the Cullens?” he asks, wary, feeling his own heart begin to throb in anticipation of her pain. Her pain, his pain. “Did they-?”
“They’re in Alaska,” Bella says distractedly, sounding for all the world like they could be in Zimbabwe for all she cares. “Don’t ask me specifics. I promised I wouldn’t sell them out.”
Jacob is confused, the understatement of the century. “They know you’re here?”
“Well, of course,” she throws him a glare before looking out at the ocean, searching for answers. “Think of Edward Cullen, Jake. Do you really believe I would have made it here alone without his permission?”
Jacob supposes she’s right, but he’s more focused on how she says the leech’s name. Gone is the fond, almost dreamy tone of a girl in love. She is matter-of-fact, disinterested. He’s sure he must be imagining things.
She spares him a glance and Jacob realizes he’s gone too long without answering. He searches for something to say.
“Do you still have my motorcycle?” she asks softly.
Jacob swallows. “Polished and waiting for you in the garage.”
She smiles and it’s so blinding that he almost forgets what she is. Almost, but not quite.
*
She marvels over the motorcycle like it’s an old friend she meant to visit but never got around to. Jacob has kept it in perfect working conditions after two years, covering it with a tarp and checking to make sure everything’s still in working order. Embry says he’s obsessive compulsive, but Sam understands and doesn’t ask questions when he says he’s going to the garage.
Her eyes are glittering when she looks back at him. “Can we ride them?”
Jacob looks at the sky. It’s still overcast, but the sun is starting to peek out. He shakes his head. “You’re going to glitter like flint rock out there. The glare might make me run my bike off the cliffs,” he gives her a sidelong glance. “Unless that’s your plan?”
She leans against the bike, sighing. “I don’t have a plan. Honestly, I was expecting you to shut the door in my face.”
“I considered it,” he lies.
Bella rubs her arm anxiously. “You said I could come back and visit.”
“I said I’d think on it,” Jacob corrects, wondering why he’s being so difficult. But the other side of him, the part that’s still angry that she gave him, gave life, up so easily tells him that she deserves it. “I wasn’t really expecting your leeches to let you visit.”
“Look, if you want me to go, I will,” she snaps angrily and Jacob’s lips twitch again as he remembers her yelling and stamping her foot. “But I came back for you, Jake. Edward and I…” she seems to deflate. “It wasn’t what I thought it would be.”
“Could we take this conversation back outside? You’re stinking up the garage.”
Her skin is probably warmer than her glare.
Jacob sighs and resigns himself to an afternoon of hearing about nothing but Edward Cullen. “Let’s go inside. I need a steak.”
*
Bella arranges herself on his bed after watching him scarf down a t-bone like it’s a Happy Meal. Jacob stands by the open window, letting the wind blow away her smell. He’s slowly getting used to it, but that doesn’t mean he likes it. Billy rose an eyebrow when they walked in, but he’s an old, wise man, so he simply said, “Good to see you, Bella,” and let them walk up to his room. Jacob knows he won’t call Charlie unless they tell him to. His father’s smarter than that.
She fidgets with his pillowcase for a moment, almost rips his pillow in half, then sets it aside before she can cause anymore damage. “Have you imprinted with anyone yet?”
The question seems random and Jacob is caught off-guard for a moment. “Um. What?”
“Have you imprinted anyone?” she asks again, quieter this time. “Like Leah maybe?”
Jacob tries not to look like the very idea makes him visibly ill. “Even if I had, it wouldn’t matter. I told you that you’re the only girl for me, Bella,” he looks her over again. The same, yet so drastically different. “I’m just not sure I can call you a girl exactly.”
“I’m not a girl,” she says as though it should be obvious. “I’m a Virgo.”
“Stop that,” he rubs a hand over his face. “Stop acting like everything hasn’t changed.”
“Nothing’s changed,” Bella says vehemently. “I’m Bella and you’re Jacob and I love you. I came back because I love you and if you can’t love me like this then you’re a liar.”
“Bella-”
“Love isn’t supposed to be conditional,” she’s glowering at him. He can tell without looking up. “I told you-if you want me to leave, I will.”
Jacob looks up, meets her eyes that are bright from being well-fed, feels revulsion and love warring for dominance. He snaps. “I don’t want you to leave, Bella, but why now? I waited and hoped you’d come back and then you show up with no explanation, smelling horrible and talking about-It’s disgusting.” He rubs his face again, turning his nose to the window for air. “I’m trying. I’m trying so hard.”
All the anger melts out of her and then she’s scrambling off the bed and walking over to him, her scent getting more and more potent, until her arms are wrapped around his middle and her face is pressed against his chest. She’s so cold, he’s half afraid she’ll melt in his arms. Still, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her close, pressing his face against her hair. It smells like strawberry shampoo. He finds this funny.
“Jake,” she murmurs. “I missed you so much. Being with Edward-I couldn’t pretend anymore, Jake. I thought he was the one I loved more, but it hurt.”
“I know the feeling,” he murmurs back, running a hand along her spine.
“It was like Edward had left me all over again, but instead of being numb, I was miserable. And the worst part is, he was so nice about it. He saw me moping around and he told me to go to you. All of them,” she’s crying. He can feel the icy droplets leaking through his shirt. “All of them came and saw me off. They don’t blame me one little bit, Jake. Even Rosalie said it was about time, but she had a hard time believing that you’d actually-”
Jacob tightens his arms around her and kisses her cold forehead. “I told you I’d be waiting in the wings. Did you think I was lying?”
“I didn’t know what to think,” Bella’s voice sounds choked. “I’m a vampire, Jake. We’re natural enemies. How is this going to even work? I can’t have children and you smell repugnant. I’m still hugging you by sheer force of will.”
Jacob laughs. “Again, I know the feeling.”
Bella slowly pulls away, sniffling and looking up at him affectionately, before she dives for the window, sticks her head out, and breathes deep. “Damn.”
Jacob laughs harder.
“It’s not funny,” Bella grumbles, still hanging half-out the window. “How is this funny?”
“Bella, you don’t need to breathe,” he manages before dissolving into laughter again.
Bella freezes, then stands up and blinks. “Oh, right. I keep forgetting that.”
This time, when Jacob laughs, she joins him.
*
“Phew,” Quil says when Jacob meets them at the cliffs later that night. “You stink, Jake.”
“Shut up,” Jacob says happily, taking a seat between him and Embry. “You’ll never believe who’s back.”
Embry wrinkles his nose. “You really do stink.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s incorrect,” Jacob can’t contain his grin. “Isabella Swan is in my house.”
Embry and Quil stare at him like he’s lost his mind. Quil looks sympathetic. “Our boy’s gone off the deep end.”
“Next thing you know, he’ll be diving off cliffs again,” Embry says, shaking his head.
Jacob rolls his eyes. “I’m serious. Why else would I smell like this?”
“When’s the last time you showered?”
Jacob gives Embry a dry look then looks up at the twinkling stars. He feels poetic, feels like if he leaped off the cliff right now, he would fly. He feels like phasing and running through the forests playing love songs in his head, but doesn’t because Embry and Quil would tackle and maul him if they had to put up with it. More than anything, he feels lighter, two and a half years worth of stress dissolved.
“She’s back,” he says quietly, reverently. “And I’ll make it work.”