The Geisha - Prologue
I'm thinking about doing a post on how batshit the Chinese government is...based on my personal experience, of course. Would anyoen be interested in seeing that?
Disclaimer: The Geisha is written by Gethsemane Butler, and has been taken off of the internet forever. I only found a copy through the awesome Das_Mervin, the Queen of Sporking. I did not write the story and claim no credit for it. Inuyasha belongs to Takahashi Rumiko. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit is being made of this. Fandom: Inuyasha
Summary: A prostitute who Gethy insists is a Geisha turns NARAKU into one of her stereotypical bad harlequin romance heroes. The result is not pretty.
Rating of Fic: T
Warning for spork: THIS SPORKING IS QUITE IMAGE HEAVY, SO BE WARNED. Also, ranting in large font.
Sporkers: Myself.
Alternate universe.
Knowing what she did to Sweeney Todd by labeling that fic Alternate Universe…Yeah, I don’t think she’ll get what that label means this time, either.
Akahana Iwasaki is, by all appearances, a normal geiko...
That name? Is the most hilarious thing EVER.
I know she’s TRYING to go for ‘red flower’, except Akahana can actually mean ‘red nose’ in Japanese as well. So....we’re not off to a very good start.
Also? I know the ‘geiko’ word looks strange, but it is actually an accurate name for Geisha in certain parts of Kyoto. The problem, of course, is the fact that THE NAME ONLY EMERGED IN THE 18TH CENTURY!
This is a Inuyasha fic, which means it is set in the Sengoku era, which means the term still has yet to be invented FOR THREE HUNDRED FUCKING YEARS!
HISTORY FAIL!
but with the advent of a certain Demon Lord, her secret is in danger of being discovered.
The Sue has an oh so terrible secret that will actually turn out to not be her fault at all, and which exists solely so that she can angst about it and the canon characters can comfort her and tell her how amazing she is?
Gee, isn’t Gethy just SO original?
Due to adult themes, rating is subject to change in later chapters.
Thank GOD, she hasn’t written that far!
Well, let’s get into the fic proper then. This is the prologue, and is the only bit of the fic that has been written, fortunately.
PROLOGUE
Akahana
I wonder when she’ll realize that she SUCKS at changing POVs. Or when she realizes that it takes a LOT to make first person work, and she’s far too incompetent to do it.
Even in high noon, the castle was a haunted place.
Even IN high noon? This may be a regional thing, but I’ve always been taught to say AT high noon.
And why would whether or not a castle was haunted be dependent on time? What, does the demon have a day job? I get that you’re trying to say it’s a gloomy and gothic place (because that is the ONLY setting you can write), but in a world where ACTUAL monsters and ghosts exist…yeah, it doesn’t work.
It was darker here,
I wonder how. I mean, I know it’s all dark and gloomy because Gethy is an emo little bitch who hasn’t got a single shred of creativity in her mind…but, here, this is a traditional Japanese manor.
See those paper doors? You can take them down or shift them around however you like. If you do enough shifting around, you can see the garden from the inner most room in the castle!
In fact, a garden view is what rooms in castles are all about!
Japanese STANDARDS for housing are BUILT around gardens! ALL of the rooms in a house are built so that they can look into the GARDEN!
Just because Western castles have thick walls and tiny little window, doesn’t mean Japanese ones do!
a far from the okiya in which I had been born and raised,
Okay, not only have Geisha not emerged yet, for another three hundred years or so, but organized places where saburuko lived hadn’t appeared yet, either.
If you don’t know, the saburuko were proto-type Geisha. They were young girls without families who either sold themselves for sex or, if their position was a bit better, entertained people by dancing and acting.
In the Sengoku era, they practically had to fend for themselves. There were no okiya or any other place where they could live permanently.
Furthermore, is she supposed to be the child of a Geisha? Because, you see, only freelancer Geisha were ALLOWED to have sex with their customers. Geisha who lived in Okiya DID NOT. It was FORBIDDEN. So, how can she be born in an Okiya?
Geisha being allowed to have children is still a rather modern thing, and those Geisha were INVARIABLY MARRIED! And you know what happened to married Geisha? THEY INVARIABLY RETIRE! THEY MOVE OUT OF THE OKIYA!
the karyukai in which I had lived
Karyukai is a term that refers to the world the Geisha live in, literally meaning ‘a world of flowers and willows’. The flower refers to the Geisha’s beauty, while the willow refers to her strength.
The term, despite its meaning, is not a PRAISE of Geisha. It’s actually a lamp-shade hanging of how people thought of the Geisha as ideals! It’s basically pointing out that no woman can be that perfect and that the people who interact with the Geisha are living an ILLUSION!
Somehow, I doubt that’s what Gethy intended.
as a mistress to the fantasies of men
…Okay, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. GEISHA ARE NOT PROSTITUTES! THEY DO NOT SELL THEIR BODIES FOR SEX!
Women did sell their bodies for sex during the 15th century, and they were called SABURUKO!
If you wanted to write about an ancient Japanese prostitute, why not use that name? It’s perfectly available!
who had the delusion that it was they who were in control,
Um…no. They didn’t.
It’s quite obvious the role of a Geisha, and that is the EXACT OPPOSITE of bowing to the will of the man.
Geisha are expected to be the OPPOSITE of that! They were supposed to be free, light-hearted, proactive, out-going…EVERYTHING A WIFE ISN’T!
People LIKED them BECAUSE they were free-spirits!
when indeed it was the geiko who had,
Yes, it is. And the patrons KNOW that!
Even if they didn’t, they’d find out FAST!
with the utmost grace and elegance as was expected of her, had them wrapped about her finger the moment she was engaged in such an appointment.
Wrapped about her finger? What are you even trying to say? Because Geisha didn’t MANIPULATE their clients!
Or, at least, it wasn’t in their job description to manipulate clients!
They provided entertainment in the form of dance, song, instrument-playing, and light conversation! They were intelligent and talented…but they didn’t take advantage of anyone!
The Geisha’s job is to ensure that an evening wasn’t boring! That’s all she’s meant to do! Why would she need to have anyone wrapped around her finger to do that?
But, as I stood alone within the courtyard of ever deepening shadows,
Excuse me, I know you have a fetish for making EVERY place filled with thunder clouds and lightning strikes, but IN A GARDEN AT HIGH NOON? This doesn’t make any sense! It’s not just History fail, either! This is basic everyday life FAIL!
I realized then that it was a world to which I could never return.
Why don’t you write about saburuko and be done with it? Everything about this character is designed so that she’d look like a PROSTITUTE! So please stop associating this Sue with a Geisha!
I supposed I should have been torn between the Flower and Willow World and the dark castle in which I now lived with my Lord,
HOW CAN THE CASTLE BE DARK? EXPLAIN, SUETHOR! EXPLAIN!!!!!
but yet I was not.
Haven’t you heard my rant on how Geisha were completely different from wives? Because I honestly don’t want to repeat it.
How can anyone who’s brought up to think of herself as the intellectual equal of any man and taught to be free, opinionated, and eloquent going to adjust to a life where her role is to remain in the background and keep things running and be seen and not heard?
No, the power of Love can only do so much, Suethor. It might motivate her to give up her job, but it WILL NOT magically make her perfectly adapted to life as a wife.
I had chosen this path; it was my destiny not to remain a geiko.
Well, if you had CHOSEN the path, then it's not fucking DESTINY, is it? It's your fucking choice! Destiny is something you can't help! YOU WERE CLEARLY IN CONTROL HERE!
Everyone - man and woman - must go to his or her destiny and embrace it, or else the Fates would drag one to it kicking and screaming.
Okay, I was willing to indulge you before. Now, I’m not.
THE FATES WERE A GREEK INVENTION! THEY WERE A PART OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY! THEY DO NOT EXIST IN THE JAPANESE PANTHEON!
No woman born then would think of this! BECAUSE IT ISN’T A PART OF THEIR SPIRITUAL BELIEFS!
The Japanese had NO Gods of Fate!
The world I had left behind was a glamorous one - the Glamour of Gion,
Gion is a district in Kyoto known for the Geisha there. The district only got its reputation as a place of entertainment in the 16th century. The equivalent to Geisha back then weren’t seen as glamorous at all yet…AND THIS WOULD STILL BE 200 YEARS AFTER THE SENGOKU ERA!
as my onesan Miyume once described it when I had become a maiko -,
I don’t see why her big sister (that’s what apprentices call their teachers - yes, I know it’s weird) would wait until she was a maiko to tell her that. Maiko is actually the very LAST stage of a Geisha’s training. Before that, they had to be a miranai, and before that, they were servants. Training started at four years of age and apprentices only became Maiko at FIFTEEN years of age.
filled with all sorts of cosmetics, kimono, and very pretty things.
And contrary to popular notion, kimono did not refer solely to Japanese traditional clothing until VERY recent times. Kimono, at its most basic, literally meant ‘things to be worn’, from the dirtiest, most simple tunic to the most elaborate dress a Princess can get. That’s why there are DIFFERENT names referring to each style of clothing!
It’d be like me saying, ‘Oh, Hollywood stars are so glamorous. They get to wear CLOTHES!’ instead of ‘Oh, Hollywood stars are so glamorous. They get to wear GOWNS.’
I enjoyed my vocation,
Given that she’s written you as little more than a prostitute?
Yeah, I bet you did.
but yet I had always dreamt that there was something beyond the veil of Gion that waited for me. What that was, I could have never said.
Okay, look, this is just STUPID.
Even if you take into account that Geisha were not prostitutes, that does NOT mean they were naïve little flowers who had no idea what the outside world was like.
They would have traveled around and SEEN the world as a part of their job! And they often sat in and listened when their customers made business deals and were EXPECTED to be able to converse on a number of topic including literature, art, and CURRENT AFFAIRS AND POLITICS!
THEY WERE EXPECTED TO BE THE INTELLECTUAL EQUALS OF MEN!
I supposed it to be odd that I would retire from such a life to be the wife of a Demon Lord,
Um…no. It wouldn’t be.
Sure, a lot of Geisha enjoyed their economic freedom and…well, just general freedom, but they did frequently marry.
In fact, that was the NORM.
In Inuyasha, I don’t think it would be too unusual that a few Geisha became the companions of demons.
yet it was against geiko code to marry while one was still a geiko.
Mmhmm. So how did you mother give birth to you whilst she was still a Geisha? Hmm? Gonna answer that any time soon?
I loved my Lord,
Oh, of course you did. Sues ALWAYS marry their true loves. When was the last time you saw a Sue who DIDN’T get what she wanted?
but, silently, I had known that my own retirement mirrored the eventual death of the artistry that was the karyukai.
First of all, Karyukai referred to the style of society that the Geisha mingled in! It is NOT a synonym for the art of Geisha! IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE A WORD, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE IT RIGHT!
Secondly, GEISHA IS NOT A DYING ART IN THE FUCKING 15TH CENTURY! THAT IS A MODERN PROBLEM! It’s SIX HUNDRED YEARS TOO EARLY TO BE WORRYING ABOUT THIS PROBLEM!
Women could not be expected to remain geiko for eternity.
That’s why they retired. Just because the current Geisha would retire, doesn’t mean there aren’t anyone to REPLACE them! HOW STUPID ARE YOU?
But yet here,
But and yet mean the same thing here, darling. You only need ONE of them.
within these walls, I was content.
Then what was all that whining about Geisha being a dying art? If you don’t fucking care about it, then why TALK about it?
And you’ve spent the whole fic pissing and moaning about how ~hard~ it is to be a Geisha and oh god how do you hold up. So I find this line singularly unconvincing.
"Akahana."
I turned round upon hearing a familiar voice
Dude, the person is in her home. I think she would know him. And we know she heard him, because we saw the dialogue!
- very dear to me, dark and rich, smooth as silk caressing heated skin.
*Dies*
Have I told you guys how much I hate stupid comparisons like this? What, silk isn’t smooth when your skin is cold?
My Lord Naraku stood there,
*Spit take*
NARAKU? YOU’RE BLOODY MARRIED TO NARAKU? HOW? SERIOUSLY, WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE MARRY YOU? HE’S ABSOLUTELY FUCKING OBSESSED WITH KIKYO! AND THEN HE WAS OBSESSED WITH POWER! WHY WOULD HE BE INTERESTED IN YOU? YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A PUNY LITTLE HUMAN! HOW IS MARRYING YOU GOING TO BENEFIT HIM?
AND DON’T TELL ME HE BLOODY FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU! DID YOU SEE WHAT HE BECAME? HE WAS REGULARLY REMOVING GODDAMNED ELDRITCH ABOMINATIONS FROM HIS BODY! HE’S ABOUT AS FAR REMOVED FROM HUMANITY AS POSSIBLE!
EVEN BEFORE HE BECAME THE NARAKU WE KNOW, HE WAS STILL BATSHIT INSANE! HIS IDEA OF LOVE INVOLVED FUCKING MURDER!
AND WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH YOUR AVATAR BEING MARRIED TO HIM? WHY ARE YOU RUBBING THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN OUR FACES, EXPECTING US TO ACCEPT IT AS TRUE LOVE? HE WAS A MASS MURDERER! HE’S A GENOCIDAL MANIAC! THE ONLY THING HE WANTS TO DO IN THE SERIES IS KILL ALL OF BLOODY HUMANITY! WHICH PART OF THAT IS THE LEAST AMOUNT ATTRACTIVE?
GETHESEMANE BUTLER, WHAT IS UP WITH YOU AND MASS MURDERERS?
Also…as a tiny little note…the voice actor for Naraku is Morigawa Yoshiyuki, a very famous voice actor. He is also very well known for voicing gay porn.
clad in a kimono of black, his skin contrastingly pale against it,
Since when did Naraku start wearing black?
Here’s what he wears in the series:
Look at that armor! He’s not going to start wearing black just because you have a fetish for emoness!
while his dark hair fell in waves down his back.
I HATE DESCRIPTIONS LIKE THESE.
It’s clichéd, over-used, and tells us NOTHING about ANYTHING.
His crimson eyes met mine.
(Naraku): What is a pitiful human doing in my castle? Oh well, what does it matter? I was just getting a little hungry anyways. *Eats her*
To those who had heard of him or seen him, those same crimson eyes meant almost certain death to anyone who had dared to cross his path. He was widely feared, and for good reason; he had such frightening powers as no other demon possessed.
*Flatly* And you get off on that.
I’m sorry, dear, but your version of Naraku wouldn’t scare anyone.
I know you want to make it sound like your avatar is so ~special~, only she can gain the love of such a cold-hearted individual, but when you’ve neutered his character so?
Yeah, it simply doesn’t work.
"Hai, my love?" I asked him.
Okay, you cannot combine Japanese phrases with the term ‘my love’. It is GROSSLY out of character for ANY traditional Japanese person to be so affectionate towards ANYONE.
The strongest term of endearment in Japanese is 貴方 (anata), literally meaning ‘noble person’. It is the formal address for ‘you’. THAT is their ONLY term of endearment, spoken ONLY between wife and husband.
And they don’t do it because they are repressed. It’s because subtlety and round-about-ness is seen as an IDEAL in their society. The best conversationalists are the ones who only speak half-sentences! The most sophisticated people never say ANYTHING outright, but always words it in a roundabout way!
NO ONE WOULD BE SO CRUDE AS TO CALL THEIR LOVERS ‘MY LOVE’! THAT WOULD BE A SIGH OF POOR BREEDING!
YOU FAIL!
"Why so silent?" he inquired
(Naraku): Why so serious? Actually, I don’t care. *Eats her*
SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS HE WAITING FOR?
as he stepped from the shadows in which he had stood.
What, he’s been in this scene since the beginning? He’s not the most subtle person EVER! You’d think the Sue would have NOTICED!
And again, WHAT SHADOWS? IT’S HIGH FUCKING NOON! THEY’RE STANDING IN AN OPEN GARDEN! WHAT FUCKING SHADOWS?
"I have been thinking," I answered him.
(Sue): I do that so rarely that it warrants special mention!
"You have been thinking," he repeated,
-doubt coloring his eyes. ‘With what, my dear? We all know you lost your single brain cell during that awful accident last year when I knocked you on the head with a vase…accidentally.’
pensively as his eyes closed for a scant moment.
(Naraku): Oh god, she expects me to listen to her stupid whining, doesn’t she? What did I do to deserve this? Please, I’ll personally apologize to Inuyasha! Just take this abomination AWAY from me!
"Of what, pray tell?"
(Sue): Oh, I was just thinking whether you or Sweeney had the hotter ass…I think I still preferred Darling Jones’ tentacles, though.
(Naraku): O_O
(Sue): Say…it’s not like you don’t have tentacles…
(Naraku): Save me, Inuyasha! I’ll do ANYTHING! Just…please, stop this!
I was silent for a moment before answering,
(Sue): What country is Africa in?
"The karyukai."
You LIAR! You fucking LIAR! That wasn’t what you were thinking about!
YOU’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT NOTHING BUT YOURSELF, as usual! SO DON’T YOU DARE START BULLSHITTING ME!
He seemed not at all surprised.
Though, to be fair, it was all she thought about these days. He supposed it would be annoying, if he spent any time around her at all.
Really, she was very, very lucky that she had such nice breasts…and such familiar, long, black hair.
"You told me once that you left of your own accord."
Wait, WHAT? He didn’t KNOW if she came voluntarily or not? He didn’t fucking KNOW if she was HAPPY with him? He didn’t fucking KNOW if he forced her into marriage against her will?
Granted, that would be almost in-character, as Naraku wasn’t exactly the most considerate person around…BUT YOU CAN’T DO THIS AND EXPECT ME TO THINK THAT THIS IS ROMANTIC! IT DOES’T WORK LIKE THAT!
FOR ALL HE KNEW, HE COULD HAVE BEEN RAPING HER, AND HE DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING CARE! THIS IS NOT ROMANCE! IT IS NOT ROMANTIC!
If you really think you’re superior to Meyer, how about you be a mature adult and refrain from ROMANTICISING RAPE!
"I did leave of my own accord.
(Sue): *Flaps hand* As if you could make me do anything I didn’t want to do!
But yet every so often I reflect upon my life there."
STOP SAYING BUT AND YET TOGETHER! THEY MEAN THE EXACT SAME THING! YOU ONLY NEED ONE! HAVING BOTH THERE MAKES YOU LOOK FUCKING STUPID!
And this sentence implies that you normally CAN’T reflect on your past life if you left it of your own accord! PEOPLE DON’T WORK LIKE THAT! Whether or not she left willingly has nothing to do with whether she thinks of it now! It is entirely possible for her to have retired willingly and yet still think about her old job! Plenty of people do that! That sentence shouldn’t even HAVE a but OR a yet in there!
"And what of your life now, here as my mate?"
First of all, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ‘MATE’? I don’t think you mean it in the friend sense of the world. And if you mean it in the ‘procreating partner’ sense, then that is the LEAST romantic name to call your wife. The term all but explicitly says that YOU ARE TOGETHER FOR NOTHING EXCEPT PROCREATION. You’re not attracted to each other. You don’t love each other. The only reason you two ever got together was to produce BABIES. THAT IS NOT FUCKING ROMANTIC!
THAT IS MEYER-ESQUE! For all your vehement protests about being compared to Meyer, you don’t seem to be doing any better than her at writing an actual fucking romance, Gethy!
Second of all, HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE THINKS OF HER LIFE NOW? He doesn’t know her opinion on the BIGGEST PART OF HER LIFE? He literally doesn’t know if she’s happy with him or not? And he doesn’t fucking care? They’ve been married together for HOW many years now, and he’s never even asked?
WHY IS THIS ROMANCE AGAIN? HOW IS ANY PART OF THIS ROMANTIC?
I smiled at him and gently took a dark lock, softly twirling it about my finger.
JAPANESE WOMEN DO NOT FUCKING DO THAT! NOT IN ANCIENT JAPAN! THEY DO NOT RANDOMLY TOUCH PEOPLE’S HAIR! IT IS NOT FUCKING SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE, EVEN BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE!
"I'm perfectly content here."
WE FUCKING KNOW! YOU TOLD US THAT ALREADY!
Seriously, what is UP with Suethors and Stuthors and repetition? I’ve sporked…what…five fics at this count, and every single one of them have this problem. What is up with that?
Author's Note: Hello, everyone. This is my first attempt at an Inuyasha story,
AND IT FUCKING SUCKS.
You have clearly NEVER seen the show, because, otherwise, you would NEVER fantasize about NARAKU of all people. You’ve obviously only seen screen caps, where he looks like a pretty boy.
I refuse to believe that you found him arousing even after he started morphing into a gigantic, very-non-humanoid eldritch abomination.
and any suggestions are welcome.
Here’s a suggestion: STOP WRITING FANFICTION!
You’ve been writing for years, and you’ve ONLY GOTTEN WORSE! It’s high time to just STOP now.
Do forgive me if this is so short!
Actually, that’s the only redeeming quality of this fic.
Glossary
Karyukai: The Flower and Willow World; used to describe the society of the geisha.
Ah, I see she has actually been reading Wikipedia…
HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE THE LINE ABOUT GEISHA ONLY APPEARING DURING THE 18TH FUCKING CENTURY, AGAIN?
And I notice that, despite knowing the definition of the term, you STILL manage to use it incorrectly. That’s a rather impressive accomplishment.
Geiko: Another term for geisha; used mainly in the Kyoto dialect.
NO! Geisha are referred to as Geisha even in regions in Kyoto! Just because it’s only one city, doesn’t mean it only has one dialect! Geisha are referred to as Geiko only in VERY specific regions in Kyoto!
Onesan: Big sister; refers to a maiko's "big sister,"
YOU’VE SAID THAT ALREADY! If you are going to elaborate, then give us information WE DON’T FUCKING KNOW ALREADY!
And I didn’t comment the first time, because I thought it was a typo, but apparently, you really think that word is spelled that way. It’s not. There are TWO ‘e’s in it. The Japanese language is VERY specific about the number of beats you are supposed to hold a vowel. If you cut it short, the word means something completely different.
In this case, it would mean ‘the base of a tail’.
FAIL.
or an older geiko who teaches the younger maiko about geiko life and allows the maiko to accompany her to engagements and appointments.
Actually, the Geiko teaches her apprentice all the way from since she’s about four or so. An apprentice becomes a Maiko around the age of FIFTEEN!
FAIL!
Okiya: A geisha house.
WHICH DON'T EXIST IN THE ERA!
Maiko: An apprentice geiko who has not yet "turned her collar."
Oh, what, you’re going to explain terms we already knew but you won’t explain a cryptic turn of phrase? You’re just showing off now, aren’t you? This glossary has never been about informing readers. It’s all about you wanking off to how great you are at Japanese.
WELL, YOU’RE NOT!
Whilst Maiko and Geisha do wear different collars, they do not ‘turn’ their collars to signify their maturity.
The visual identification of moving from a Maiko to a Geisha is in the BELT and COLOUR OF THE KIMONO! Maiko wear brighter colors and a much more elaborate obi, with fabric hanging down to their knees. Geisha do NOT! THAT IS THE GODDAMNED DIFFERENCE!
Seriously, Gethy. If you don’t know about a subject, DON’T FUCKING WRITE ABOUT IT!