Anti-Spork: The Darkest Hour - Chapter 2, Part 1, Section A:
Well, we officially move onto Chapter 2 now.
Before I begin, though, I’d like to make an apology. I know I’ve been ranting and raving against Carlisle…but the problem really lies just as much with Edward as him. Like I said, a solution can easily be reached, it’s just that Edward insists upon taking everything on himself and dealing with this problem alone, and if there’s no communication, no agreement can be reached. So, really, Carlisle isn’t completely at fault, and it was wrong of me to declare him a villain when the person I’ve been cooing over is just as responsible for this mess.
So…sorry, Mrs. Hyde. I shouldn’t have been so harsh on Carlisle.
Now, in this part, we gets to know a lot more about how Mrs. Hyde’s vampires work, as well as Edward’s past. I have mixed feelings about this chapter, because, on the one hand, it really is quite sweet and made me squee a bit, but…on the other hand, it’s damned heart-breaking.
If I had to choose, Chapter 2 is definitely my favourite chapter in this fic.
Well, I won’t waffle on any longer. Let’s begin, shall we?
We start this chapter with Edward travelling on the train. It’s raining, and ‘The drops fell down on the top of the boxcar-a gentle patter to human ears, but a blaring symphony of echoes in his own. But the din of the rain was nothing compared to the clattering cacophony of the train itself as it roared and shrieked its way down the rails.’
It’s been so long since I’ve looked at this fic…After reading through Bound For Glory and Harry Potter and the Head of Black and that GODawful Twilight fic I’m going to show to you guys soon…reading masterful prose like this is making me want to cry. And it’s not just the prose! In the very first paragraph itself, we’re having a piece of lovely symbolism! Edward left Carlisle and Esme because he wanted peace, and although he is travelling, the noise never leaves him. The sounds of the trains is very much a metaphor for all his troubles - no matter how far he runs, he won’t ever be rid of them because they are travelling right along with him. In fact, it’s the act of running that makes those problems even MORE prominent.
Mrs. Hyde, you are what I aspire to be.
Well, anyways, Edward is sitting against the wall of the car, curled up and pretending to be asleep. He acknowledges that this act has no purpose, since it’s not like he’s able to sleep, but just pretending comforts him somehow. Again, I can’t help but think of this as yet another way in which he desperately clings to humanity, yet another way in which he tries to fool himself. And I wonder if this is the only way he knows how to deal with his problems, ignoring them and hoping that they go away.
It’s definitely how he deals with his mind-reading - just pretending that he can’t hear the things he does - so I wonder if he’s doing the same thing with vampirism here. If he pretends that he’s still human, maybe he could get closer to humanity after all.
‘…it was soothing, somehow-pretending that he couldn’t hear or see or feel anything except for the wild dreamscapes of his own mind.’
Every time his powers are brought up, every time we’re reminded of just how little privacy and peace he has, my heart breaks all over again.
I hope Bella gives Edward a LOT of snuggles, because he needs them.
Edward says that this act is really quite ‘childish’, and really, that’s describes his motivations in a nutshell, doesn’t it? He did everything in the last chapter because he didn’t want to be a child, but is forced to be one by society. Everything, the taking on of responsibility, the trying to get in a bar, the prostitute…it’s all because he’s desperate to prove himself an adult.
And he’s never going to win.
Well, after a whole chapter of breaking my heart, Mrs. Hyde finally has decides to take mercy on me and bestow some modicum of happiness upon Edward and showing him the advantage of being a vampire a little.
Forgive me for putting a huge quote here, but you have to see this:
‘He’d never before really appreciated his sleeplessness, his complete lack of need for rest, until he’d set out on his own over a month ago. He could walk all night and all day, if he wanted to, without ever having to stop.
But he didn’t have to walk-he could run. Run as only a vampire could run, run as he hadn’t really done much since he’d first been turned. He’d all but forgotten the euphoric exhilaration of flying over the ground, his feet barely grazing the grass beneath them, the scenery flowing together in a wild blur, and the wind rushing and roaring in his face as he raced by at speeds that humanity could only dream of.
And he could leap if he wanted to, bounding from treetop to treetop, arcing through the air as if shot from a cannon, only to land nimbly on his feet before hurling himself through the air again, laughing as he soared across the darkened landscape below like a bird on the wing.
So wound up in the travails of trying to be human, he’d forgotten what fun it was just to be a vampire.’
Why did I want to show you guys this? BECAUSE THE PROSE! THE BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL PROSE! After reading…actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen prose this beautiful. When I first read this passage, it literally made my breath catch and my chest tighten. Looking back, I think this is the point where I truly started…synchronising with Edward, not just sympathising with him as a character, but really empathising with him - feeling his emotions as though it were my own.
This turns out to be a VERY bad thing for me later.
But that’s not the point here. The point is, while Mrs. Hyde loves dragging Edward through the mud and we all know how much fun it is to write angst…it would be preposterous to suggest that vampirism ONLY brings downsides. Dude, you get turned into a superhero! That’s kind of cool, you know!
Meyerpires were unrealistic because they had too many advantages and basically had everything they could ever want handed to them on a silver platter. Mrs. Hyde subverted that by giving Edward a BOATLOAD of issues. Canon!Edward, however, is just as unrealistic because he looked at his super strength and super speed and decided that it all SUCKED. He spent ALL of his years as a vampire whining and whinging, when, really, any person would at least be briefly exhilarated if you handed them power like this.
And then, of course, there’s the fact that we see yet again how damned EASY it is for him to be a vampire. Every system in his body works WITH him and life is GREAT…if only he would just give in. This is a beautiful moment, but it’s also quite sinister symbolism, especially considering how many of his problems would just…disappear, if only he would be content being a vampire.
AND it’s interesting in that being a vampire, to Edward, is just…enjoying his powers. It never even occurs to him that being a vampire might mean drinking human blood. The thought does not even cross his head.
Meyer, considering eating humans and having detailed fantasies about it and stopping only because Carlisle Would Disapprove is not heroic. Truly decent people never even consider murder as an option.
God, I could write an entire essay just on that ONE passage.
BUT. I do have one question on it that has been bothering me for ages. Edward says that he can walk all night and all day if he wants to, without ever having to stop for rest…does that mean vampires can’t get tired? That they have endless energy, as long as they are fed? They never run out of breath? Because…well, that’s seems to be over-powering a bit…
But hey, I trust Mrs. Hyde. I’m sure she can do the concept well.
Anyways, Edward echoes my sentiment, commenting that, ‘it certainly was a lot easier to enjoy the good parts if you weren’t forcing yourself to endure only the bad.’
Eternal wangst is not realistic OR entertaining, Meyer. Take a lesson from GREAT writers.
And YES, Mrs. Hyde is a GREAT writer! Anyone who can have me gushing over freaking Edward Cullen in half a chapter is a great writer!
Edward reflects that vampires were creatures of the night, giving a shout-out to the movie Nosferatu in the process. That movie was out in 1922…so, Edward would have been with Carlisle and already a vampire when he saw it…which is interesting. I can only imagine how their reactions went.
Also, it was very sweet of Carlisle to take Edward out to a movie. Very sweet.
Well, Edward had only been active during the day before, because he has to uphold the masquerade, and so he had become use to the various disadvantages of exposing oneself to sunlight - because just because sunlight isn’t LETHAL, doesn’t mean they should be harmless. You have to make your vampires WORK to blend in. They have to make some kind of sacrifice. Otherwise, I’m not going to think they’re great heroes and martyrs. And because giving your characters flaws is FUN! It makes the story a whole lot more interesting!
Well, seeing as he’s moving on his own and avoiding civilisation for now, Edward mainly rested during the day, and that brought him a whole lot of unexpected benefits. He mentions that, ‘His skin was no longer so hot and tender,’ and I think this is the first indication we get that Mrs. Hyde’s vampires are not made out of stone.
The hard-as-marble aspect of Meyerpires forever confuses me. Because, you see, being hard does not make you any harder to destroy. Actually, hard materials, like marble, are usually quite brittle, and as long as you find the structural weakness, a single chisel can crumble a Meyerpire to pieces. And stone doesn’t heal itself. I mean, yeah, they can re-attach lost limbs (in a way that make NO sense whatsoever), but if they got cracked? That crack, that WEAKNESS, is going to stay with them forever.
And it’s ridiculously easy to circumvent their method of reattaching. You see, all you have to do is ground the pieces to dust.
Regeneration makes much more sense for a creature who is supposed to be hard to kill, because the healing is entirely automatic. You don’t have to take time off of whatever you’re doing to heal yourself.
And the whole hard-as-marble thing means that it’s DAMNED hard to blend in. People are going eventually TOUCH you, you know, and then your cover would be blown. In fact, it’s arguable that you’d be able to tell someone’s skin wasn’t flexible just by LOOKING at them, because their flesh wouldn’t be flattened against a table and their muscles won’t ripple when they catch a thrown object…there are MILLIONS of scenarios during which they can give themselves away.
With regeneration, you aren’t noticeably different from anyone else. As long as you don’t get hurt in public, that is.
And let’s not even talk about how marble isn’t flexible, so the Meyerpires shouldn’t even be able to move, okay?
Well, apparently, sunlight is to vampires what exercise is to me, because it makes them all achy as well. That’s not very pleasant…I mean, I suppose you could live with it when you’re used to it, but…I can’t help the discomfort is a constant reminder to the Cullens especially that they’re not human and will never be human again. It’s not bad enough to be debilitating, but it will never vanish completely either. And the only thing they can do is DEAL with it.
Mrs. Hyde is cruel…
Keeping to the night means that Edward don’t have to feed as frequently now, and this little fact provides yet another nice little conflict for the Cullens. If they want to be around humans, they have to start going out during the day, but sunlight means they have to feed more frequently and get hungry more easily…and they’re surrounded by delicious, delicious humans.
Edward mentions that he had to go out every other night for a ‘snack’ (like, say, squirrels or some other small animal) when he was with Carlisle…which just raises the question of why doesn’t he hunt more frequently, then? Carlisle may be too busy to hunt more than once a week, but that doesn’t mean Edward can’t go out on his own to hunt big game. Why is he so insistent upon only hunting with Carlisle? Especially when he knows how tempting human blood is?
I also wonder if Esme has this problem with blood as well and how she deals with it, because she’s a lot younger than Edward and has spent less time around humans. Or does she take the edge off her bloodlust by satisfying her actual lust with sex with Carlisle? Huh...I guess she's actually kind of justified in having all that sex...
Edward soon realised the downside to moving only at night, though - he’s essentially wasting all the time from sunrise to sundown because…well, he’s not travelling anywhere. So…he starts off stowing away on a barge on the New York State Barge Canal. Amusingly, he accidentally calls the Canal by its old name before hastily correcting himself.
Meyer, it’s little details like this that makes us feel that a character is from another era. You can’t just TELL us that OMG EDWARD LIKE TOTALLY TALKS LIKE FROM ANTHER TIME and have him talk in the exact same, bland, dry way as everyone else and just expect us to BELIEVE you! You have to put in EFFORT!
I was distracted from my RAEG towards Meyer by this following passage: ‘He’d felt rather like Cleopatra-all he’d needed were a golden headdress and a battery of oarsmen. He was, of course, his own asp.’
Cleopa-
Golden head-
His own as-
I just-
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…HA…ha…hah…
Mrs. Hyde, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I WILL ERECT A SHRINE TO YOUR GREATNESS IN MY HEART AND WORSHIP BEFORE IT EVERY DAY AND OFFER IT GAY PORN AS SACRIFICE. YOU ARE MY GODDEST NOW. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I CAN’T TURN OFF MY CAPSLOCK.
Ahem…
Sorry about that. *Composes self*
So…after sailing down the canal *Gigglesnort*, Edward gets down the ship undetected and found that he’s travelled quite a long way just by sitting there and doing nothing (except being fanned by well-oiled, muscular slaves and applying eyeliner). So he decides to keep doing this whenever he gets tired of a place…which is why he’s on this train right now.
See, Meyer? This is how you give exposition! One idea should flow into another and it should all tie together somehow! THIS is what smooth transition looks like!
THIS:
‘Though it was the middle of the afternoon, my call woke Jacob up, and he was grouchy at first. He cheered right up when I asked if I could visit the next day. The Quileute school was already out for the summer, so he told me to come over as early as I could. I was pleased to have an option besides being babysat. There was a tiny bit more dignity in spending the day with Jacob.
Some of that dignity was lost when Edward insisted again on delivering me to the border line like a child being exchanged by custodial guardians.
“So how do you feel you did on your exams?” Edward asked on the way, making small talk.’
IS NOT HOW YOU FUCKING DO A TRANSITION! Learn from your betters, lady!
*Sighs* Let’s move on. I see enough horrible prose from Bound For Glory. I really don’t want to keep looking at MEYER’s writing.
Edward reflects on all the great things he’s gained by removing himself from humanity a little (and yes, that’s exactly what this is), and thinks, ‘Always going, always moving-and always wonderfully, blessedly alone. Of everything that he missed, of all the misery that he’d spent so long enduring that he’d forgotten what it was like not to have to bear it-that was the most all-encompassing, and the most liberating.’
If the last chapter is about Edward’s quest to belong, to find his place in society, then this Chapter is about Edward trying to find himself. This chapter is all about his personal identity, and THIS is what TV Tropes calls a Hope Spot (WARNING: THIS WEBSITE WILL EAT YOUR SOUL).
And isn’t it interesting that Edward’s main two goals, belonging and personal identity, are almost mutually exclusive? He can only find himself when he’s on the move and utterly alone. Whenever he tries to belong, like when he tries to enter the club, he has to give up his identity to do it. And both of those goals are all but impossible to accomplish anyways, because of the very nature of his being!
Ah, conflict, how I love thee. Let me count the ways…
That train of thought (heh, get it?) takes Edward back to when he first left Carlisle.
He had travelled into the woods, which is an interesting choice. I mean, sure, it would be easier for him to travel if he wasn’t in public and can be seen by everyone, but I can’t help but feel that his decision to go for the forests had deeper meaning than that. On the one hand, you can think of it as him being sick of human society after all that’s happened to him, and trying to immerse himself in nature because at least nature didn’t judge him. On the other hand, this is almost EXACTLY the same as what he was doing at the beginning of Chapter 1 Part 2. There, he was willing to give up his identity to get a sense of belonging. Here, he is willing to give up whatever few connections he had in order to get a sense of identity.
Needless to say, he fails at both. Because Mrs. Hyde is a cruel bastard and understands that suffering builds character.
So he travels in to the forest and…suddenly, he realises that, ‘oh hey! The mental voices are gone!’
He was, ‘standing stock still in the middle of the woods, his head thrown back and his eyes shut, reveling in the complete and utter silence of it all. Not of the woods around him, but inside of his own skull-there was only himself, and no one else.
It was glorious.’
I’m sure I’d be able to share his joy a lot more if I wasn’t too busy being heart-broken over how awed he is by something I consider a fact of life - a blessing I have always taken for granted.
But for now, I’ll just take comfort in the fact that he’s happy, at least, because I know that won’t last long either.
Edward is absolutely thrilled by this newfound peace, and there’s quite an interesting parallel here to when he first became a vampire. He was initially delighted by all the change, and only realises the price he has to pay for them much later, and by then, nothing can be done about it anymore. And it’s really quite appropriate here, because he IS starting a new life. He IS learning to be a vampire in a completely different way. His life has been completely changed, by his own will, and yet he has no idea what these changes entail. And the change is enacted upon him by a greater force which he cannot control and does not understand. Hell, he even spends the first period of his ‘new’ existence lurking around forests!
His journey here mirrors his transformation into a vampire almost exactly. Literary symmetry FOR THE WIN!
Ahem, anyways. Edward spends most of his time in forests at the beginning, really living like an animal, doing his best to avoid any humans. And just as I was settling in to enjoy a period of peace along with Edward, Mrs. Hyde waltzes in and punches me in the guts with this:
‘He just wanted to be himself again-not anybody else… away and apart from all the petty cares of the world that had forced themselves on him for the past ten years.’
Isn’t it amazing how really good writers can have you smiling fondly one second and absolutely heart-broken in another? Really, this whole fic has been Mrs. Hyde jerking my emotions around like a master puppeteer. And it’s absolutely WONDERFUL.
I’d just like to point out another difference between Mrs. Hyde and Meyer. You see, if that whole, ‘petty cares of the world that had forced themselves on him for the past ten years’ thing had been written by MEYER, I would NOT be gushing over it. In fact, I would be writing an incredibly lengthy essay all around how ARROGANT and PRESUMPTUOUS and WANGSTY he is. But I’m not doing that here for two VERY good reasons.
First of all, it’s the level of trust I have in them (or lack thereof). Reading over Meyer’s work, I KNOW she’s not strong enough to actually hurt her lust object, so the ONLY thing Edward can possibly be doing is wangsting here. I’ve read her works: I know the level she is at. I KNOW she’s a bad author, and I have TONS of evidence to support my belief, so I’m not going to give her any credit. Mrs. Hyde, however…well, you’ve seen Chapter 1. You know how great she is. I trust her enough to understand her intentions.
Secondly, Mrs. Hyde SHOWS. Meyer’s vampires piss and moan ENDLESSLY about how horrible life is CONSTANTLY…and yet they have no reason to be doing so. Edward claims that he thinks of himself as a monster, and yet belittles humanity at every other turn. Basically, she’s asking me to buy something that’s NOT EVEN THERE. Mrs. Hyde’s Edward angsts, sure, but she’s shown us PLENTY of reasons WHY Edward would angst. Seriously, look at Chapter 1! It’s basically one LONG trauma conga, and frankly, anyone who’s been put through that deserves SOME complaining.
Pwned, Meyer.
Well, like I said, Edward’s main goal in this fic is still centred around belonging. No matter how much he may enjoy his respite from civilisation, he is still…still humane, and thus desires social contact. Not to mention, you can hardly have a sense of identity without knowing your place in society.
Edward’s spent some time alone, pretending to be Tarzan, ‘re-learning what it was to be a vampire-rather like playing again, like he hadn’t since he was a boy, his fantasies of being a great and strong warrior-hero suddenly that much closer to life.’
First of all, I totally did NOT read ahead when I made that ‘Literary Symmetry’ comment. I totally just had a mind-link moment with Hyde! YES! Now, we’re Soul Mates, and that means I can legitimately build creepy, stalker shrines to her! After all, Meyer would approve!
Second of all…Edward has fantasies about being a ‘great and strong warrior-hero’? I…uh…I don’t know if it’s just me, but…that sounds gay. Incredibly gay. Possibly even gayer than the ‘Cleopatra’ comment.
I bet Edward crushed on Conan the Barbarian.
But, well…like I said, the wilderness may comfort him, but it won’t ever truly satisfy him. Edward eventually grows tired of ‘living in the trees like Mowgli’ and moves on. I’d also like to say that, like Meyer, Mrs. Hyde puts quite a lot of shout-outs and references into her stories…but she doesn’t try to relate those books to her stories when it clearly doesn’t fit. They are there because it’s NATURAL for a book-lover to compare their circumstances with books they’ve read. You don’t have to jam literary allusions in your stories to seem deep. If you’re really deep, the readers will be able to tell without ham-handed symbolism.
In fact, by trying to throw references to books you think are so ~profound~, you just end up making yourself look like an idiot.
First, Edward moves to new forests, but…you know, miles upon miles of trees eventually grow kind of old. So, he starts making his way back into civilisation for a little.
He usually went into small towns to buy postcards to send to Carlisle and Esme, to let them know that he’s well. And this little detail really touched me. It really delivered home how they’re family, without beating us over the head with the fact at all - something Meyer has NOT managed to do, even with all her hazardous wielding of the Sledgehammer of Symbolism.
Really, it makes sense for Edward to keep in contact with Carlisle, too, because as awful as the things that happened between them were, Carlisle is still very much Edward’s only connection. He’s not just Edward’s sire; he’s also the only person Edward can really talk to. He’s Edward’s friend and mentor. And Edward left because he was frustrated with himself. So, it’s a bit ridiculous to think that he wouldn’t keep in contact.
And this is quite nice foreshadowing, too, for later…when he STOPS writing to Carlisle.
There’s a nice little reference to how the people were unsettled by his appearance, which must be quite horrendous, considering how long he’s gone without a shower. But there’s still that underlying theme that vampires repulse people on an instinctual level. And I just LOVE how these little details are CONSTANTLY threaded throughout the story, a constant reminder to us and to Edward of his nature. It’s inescapable! And it gives us the same sense of frustration and hopelessness that Edward must feel - a very nice way to ensure that your readers empathise with your main character.
Meyer, when you say Edward is tempted by Bella’s blood…HE HAS TO BE TEMPTED BY HER BLOOD! You can’t just write a few sentences on it when you FEEL like it! It doesn’t work that way!
Sometimes, Edward picks up the newspaper as well, and we get a VERY brief overview of what is happening in the world (basically, shit is going down and everything sucks), giving a nice sense of time and place for this story…oh, and historical accuracy as well. Because research is AWESOME. Accuracy helps the readers immerse, and it goes a LONG way in convincing us that THIS COULD HAVE HAPPENED. THIS MIGHT BE POSSIBLE. In other words, SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF, BITCH.
Edward is, of course, not pleased at all by the state of affairs and ceases reading the paper. That’s a fantastic metaphor for how he deals with ALL his problems, isn’t it? He just…pretends it’s not there and hopes that it goes away. To be fair, in this situation, there is NOTHING he could do, but the whole act of just not reading the newspaper reeks of denial to me…and if you’ve read this story, you know how majorly denial fits into Edward’s psychology.
Of course, he’d go to a library occasionally, too, because Mrs. Hyde actually REMEMBERS that he’s supposed to love books and has an actual idea of how people who love books ACT. Yeah, yeah, Meyer, you can go on for as long as you like about how Edward is so ~sophisticated~ and ~educated~, but as long as you never show him reading for pleasure even ONCE in your book, we are NOT going to buy it.
But reading isn’t all fun for him, as the ‘keep quiet in the library’ rule does NOT help him at all, since he can hear the minds of everyone in the library no matter what. *Sighs* See? It’s almost as if his powers are created to punish him. Whenever he tries to do ANYTHING that will make him truly happy, like fitting in or reading, his nature and his powers pop right up and smack him like a bitch.
‘But that wasn’t enough to ruin the pleasure of getting his hands on a book again, of being in amongst people and able to enjoy himself.’
Mrs. Hyde…YOU ARE A CRUEL, CRUEL BASTARD, getting me to hope like this, when we all know you’re going to crush all my hopes like they're baby seal skulls. WHY? Why is your Edward so loveable? If you’re not going to do ANYTHING except hurt him, why do you make it so that I HAVE to suffer along with him? *Sobs* I love you so much…
But, no. Edward is ACTUALLY, really enjoying himself here, as he finds it much easier to deal with his power if he’s only around people for short bursts of time and is able to have SOME time alone and to himself. He even mentions going to the theatres to see the first sound film ever, by Al Jolson! (Have I mentioned how much I love historical accuracy? Because I do. I love it.)
So…Edward is happy now. He’s finding some balance and a way to deal with his powers. He’s mostly living by himself, surrounded by nature, but does occasionally participate in human society as well. For the first time in his vampire life, Edward is probably genuinely balanced and at peace.
So, because he’s a masochistic IDIOT, he has to ruin that somehow. Or, alternatively, it’s because Mrs. Hyde is a cruel, cruel bitch who will not allow the readers ONE moment of respite. So…Edward makes perhaps the WORST decision I have ever seen.
He decides to visit the towns he had been in before, during his early vampire years, and trace back the journey he took throughout his life.
*Takes a deep breath* This is going to be painful, guys. Chapter 1 Part 2 will be PEANUTS compared to this.
I’ll see you in the next part, where Mrs. Hyde performs tap dances on my exposed, bleeding heart.
Go Forward to: Chapter 2, Part 1, Section B
Go Back to: Chapter 1, Part 2, Section D