The Darkest Hour -- Chapter 3 Part 2 (Section B)

[sos_sporkers]

SOS: *Looks around* Awwww…I’m all alone.

Well, before we move onto the next part, I’d like to note that the first part of this chapter didn’t produce as dramatic a reaction in me as the end of Chapter 3 Part 1, but was a major contributing factor to why it was very hard to continue reading after I was done sobbing and throwing up. Edward’s angst mirrored my own so much that every time I pulled myself out of depression long enough to decide to read on, it just punched me right back into despair again. That, and it made it far too easy to synchronise with him, which made me freak out a bit, because my brain remembers what happened the last time that happened.

So, the techniques FANTASTIC, they did exactly what they were supposed to do, and Edward’s angst was VERY emotionally impacting.

We start this part with Edward doing what he does best - running away. The tone has a very abrupt shift in the narration, signifying how eager Edward is to stop thinking about his recent epiphany. He, ‘ran lightly down the beams as if they were as wide as a road beneath him, his balance effortless’.

*Blinks* I wasn’t expecting the ‘straddle-legged gait’ and all the scrambling to be foreshadowing.

And again, it’s just SCARY how easy and tempting it is to just give in. It’s not even the big things like not feeling hungry any more. As soon as Edward surrendered, even the minor aspects of his life improved by a hundred fold. Not only does this reinforce how the Cullens here are actually sacrificing a LOT by refusing to drink human blood, it also continues the theme of alienation too, because Edward’s body is basically REWARDING him for murder. And while he may appreciate all the advantages that come with being…properly fed, this only adds to the dichotomy between his mind and body, so that while he’s reeling in horror at his own actions, he can’t help but enjoy the benefits that come with it.

Edward then says that he ‘had taken no pleasure in what he was, until suddenly, he had quite accidentally realized that he was better at what he was.’

As well as establishing the themes of alienation, if you think about it, the fact that it’s so EASY for Edward to act like a vampire instead of cling to humanity says SO MUCH about Mrs. Hyde’s world-building skills. She’s basically designed her vampires so that they’re the best equipped and goddamned SPECIALISED in being vampires, unlike the Twilight vampires who had random traits that served no evolutionary purpose at all.

It’s almost interesting how Edward defines ‘what he was’. In the intervening time between the end of the last chapter and now, he’s developed a new sense of identity that is almost solely based on the murder of Reggie. He’s ceased to think of himself as Edward Mason, as human at all, in this chapter, and this sets up the reasons to his actions in Chapter 4 and 5. He perceives himself as beyond redemption already, so he’s not even trying to find a way to sort through his problems.

He instead just thinks of himself as a vampire, because that makes it easier to deal with his crimes. He can blame it on his darker side, claim that it was his instincts overriding his reasoning, and that he was powerless against his hunger and lust. And while all of it is somewhat true, the fact remains that all he’s doing here is running away from responsibility.

Edward describes how he noticed all the benefits human blood was giving him, which he realised the first time he hunted after murdering Reggie. And this explains the importance of the scene where he murdered that poor, POOR squirrel (and no, I’m not over that yet. I NEVER WILL BE). It provides a nice contrast so that we can see how much just ONE feeding changed him. This will explain a lot of his behaviour in the asides, as well as probably in The Blue Hour, because he knows just how the slightest slip can cause damnation.

The first difference we can see if motivation. He’d killed the squirrel (BASTARD) because he hadn’t hunted for a long time and was STARVING, and he ate it so that he’d become less of a threat to those around him. It was an ultimately altruistic gesture (BUT HE’S STILL A BASTARD), especially since he made it very clear that he knows the squirrel won’t sate his hunger. Here, however, Edward admits he wants to hunt, ‘Not because he wanted it-he wasn’t hungry at all, and frankly, the thought of eating made him feel ill-but it was habit.’

Edward explains that he was trying to make sure he was feeding frequently, because not eating for a long time was what led to the murder of Reggie. And while I have no doubt that’s a significant part of his motivation, the fact that he clearly wasn’t feeling any hunger and thus has no REASON to be so anxious makes me think there’s another reason here that he doesn’t want to admit.

He wants to prove that, after Reggie, he can still go back to an animal diet. He’s trying to show that the murder hadn’t changed him, that he was still capable of repenting and going back. He was doing it to prove that he didn’t need human blood now - that Reggie was just an accident, and that he didn’t want more human blood.

Though, of course, the trauma from the murder of Reggie certainly played a part here, especially how squicked Edward is by the thought of eating, which might suggest that Edward’s hunting in order to make himself associate eating with something…well, not pleasant, but more “normal”, I guess.

He again describes how his physical abilities being enhanced by human blood, ‘He didn’t remember ever being quite so silent, so able to feel every step almost before he took it, nor of moving so fast that the deer didn’t even have time to tense before he was on top of it.’

We’ve perhaps been given a rather skewed look at how vampires worked in Mrs. Hyde’s universe, since all we’ve seen were the Cullens and they were living with the equivalent of malnutrition, due to their diet. Here, and in the next 3 chapters, we get a look at how proper vampires in her universe worked, and the result is that they’re VERY efficient PREDATORS. Their instincts are honed to stalking and taking down prey, and they can do so with deadly efficiency.

And that’s TERRIFYING.

Sure, plenty of Meyer’s vampires freaked me out before (like fucking WARDO), but whenever she genuinely sets out to creep out her readers, the result is nothing but NARM (like in the case of the Volturi and James). Because while she can unintentionally write some GREAT psychopaths, the only villains she can handle are moustache-twirling, ineffectual Dastardly Whiplash clones whose sole purpose is helping her drag out the plot and show how awesome her protagonists are.

I know for a fact that we’ll see plenty more vampires later who either have a seriously sinister personality or a pants-shittingly scary power, but even Mrs. Hyde’s very baseline vampires are far, FAR more intimidating than Meyerpires…as they SHOULD be.

Another difference between this scene and the squirrel one (YOU GODDAMNED SQUIRREL KILLER) is the…the atmosphere. One again, I have no idea how she does it (it’s black magic, I tell you), but though this scene isn’t that different in premise from the squirrel one (rest in peace, you poor thing), it evoked a very different emotion in me. I’d felt really sorry for Edward in the squirrel scene (when I’m not condemning him for killing a SQUIRREL), and the futility and pain of his existence was just heart-breaking, but here…here, I can’t help but notice the similarities between this scene and Reggie’s murder, and it genuinely freaks me out when Edward says things like, ‘He’d…pinned it effortlessly, its struggles seeming no more effectual than the beating of a moth’s wings.’ Because all I can think about is that he’d thought the same things when he’s killing a PERSON, and that he’s probably going to be thinking the same things when he kills PEOPLE in the following chapters.

Probably another reason is that as Edward admits, ‘He felt no hunger…’ This makes the hunt unnecessary, and even though it’s only a deer, it still makes me queasy. He wasn’t hunting to protect the people around him now. He wasn’t even hunting because it’s unbearable otherwise. He’s just hunting to prove a point, and that feels far too much like his thinking throughout Chapter 4 and 5 to make me comfortable.

And while we’ve seen before that animal blood hardly satisfies Edward, here, well…

‘Edward…bit down, and the fluid came welling up and he drank deep-

And a gout of horrible boiling ichor surged into his mouth, coating his gullet with putrid slime as it poured into his gut where it burned like molten lead...’

I find my comparison in the earlier chapters of Edward hanging onto the edge of a cliff by a fragile tree branch increasingly appropriate. It’s so EASY to accidentally slip and fall, but if you want to get back up to where you are again…well, good luck with that. The first time I was reading this fic, I had no idea where Edward was going to find the resolve to go back to drinking animal blood, now that it tastes like THAT to him. Not only that, this also means that IF he was able to go back to his original life style, the branch he’d be hanging from would be even MORE fragile, and it’d be even EASIER for him to fall again.

So, not only does this create conflict within this fic itself, it also allows for sustained conflict through the next few asides and the main story. And the futility and agitation he feels at draining animals dry (which we saw when he went after that poor, POOR squirrel) would only be amplified from now on. Again, it’s made the vegetarian lifestyle an actual SACRIFICE.

Repulsed by the taste, Edward vomits his guts out. Again, the first time I was reading this, I couldn’t imagine what could happen to give him the strength of will to endure this ritual over and over again until he can go back to drinking animal blood again. AND I can’t imagine how Mrs. Hyde was going to deal with the issue of people like Jasper, who had been drinking human blood since he was first turned, and now has to change over to an animal one.

Anyway, Edward runs to a stream and drinks the water, only to vomit it back out again. I wonder if he’s doing this intentionally to wash out more blood (and wash out his mouth), or if this is his reaction to all things meant for human consumption. I hope it’s not the latter, because that’s just…heart-breaking. That such a fundamentally human act should be directly associated with repulsion and nausea…not only would it further distance him from humanity, but it’d also be a reminder to him of his current animalistic diet.

Apparently, the animal blood not only causes disgust and revulsion from Edward, but also some sort of weird stroke, as he describes himself, ‘trying to regain control of his twitching, spasming body’. Again, Mrs. Hyde has set up the conflict for the latter part of her story very nicely. It’s not just the fact that it tastes HORRIBLE that would drive Edward away from animal blood, but that it...well, it does THAT to him. He’d have to make himself completely vulnerable for hours after feeding at first, and that’s something nobody would want.

Edward finally realises that all of the benefits he’d noticed and the lack of hunger was because he’d finally ATE after a decade. Finally, he’s not subjecting himself to a weird mixture of malnutrition and oxygen deprivation.

This realisation leads him to have a flack back of the only vampire he’d seen apart from Carlisle and Esme.

This is quite a pivotal scene, since while we’ve heard a little about the Imperials, the only vampires we’d actually seen were the Cullens. This scene showed us what a “normal” vampire is like in this ‘verse and their beliefs. Not only does this build up the world more, it also sets up the later chapters where Edward lives with a much more conventional vampire. And it shows us yet again the amount of sacrifice the Cullens have to make in order to stick to their diets.

Edward says that the vampire was a nomad, which…I didn’t think that was so unusual a trait that needs to be emphasised. Weren’t all vampires pretty much nomads? The only ones that stuck around the same city were Imperial officials, and they were definitely the exception to the rule. Though this is definitely a rather nice fishslap moment, as the vampire is female and freaking single, and definitely a force to reckon with.

Edward was excited at the chance to meet her, as this wasn’t that long after he was turned, and he still didn’t know much about the vampire world. This is probably an extension of his desire for belonging, especially considering that he probably thought Carlisle’s philosophy was the norm in vampire society at this point. Hell, he thought a ‘strong’ vampire was one that could resist blood even at the start of this fic.

Anyway, Edward tells Carlisle that she’s coming, and is disappointed when Carlisle says that they should probably avoid her, telling Edward that there was a prejudice against their lifestyle. Edward makes puppy dog eyes at him, and he gives in, and Edward leads them to the vampire. And if I could be an unprofessional fangirl for a moment, I found this little paragraph incredibly CUTE. It certainly established Carlisle and Edward’s relationship as very father-son-like, an impression that we never really got from canon. I can really see those two as a family. The emphasis on Edward’s childishness, though, only brings out his ignorance and naivety and sets up the disillusionment that the meeting with the vampire will result in.

The vampire is instantly suspicious when she meets Edward and Carlisle, and, ‘Edward had been vaguely perplexed by her obvious distrust. What did she have to fear from them? Weren’t they all the same kind?’

Yes, Edward, because people of the same kind never fought. It’s really heart-breaking how young and trusting he is in this scene, especially how he’d looked forward to meeting another vampire with puppy-dog-like eagerness and had his hopes so firmly dashed.

And again, this is yet another emphasis on how as much as Edward can’t fit into human society, it’s even more difficult for him to fit into vampire society. It’s not just the fundamental fact that he drinks animal blood, but also how he has almost no idea how vampire society operated. Which makes me wonder if Carlisle had ever stayed with the Imperials in this universe and how that had gone down. I can’t imagine him being accepted into vampire court at all, except as an entertaining freak.

Edward makes an interesting comment here that the dazzling effect didn’t work on fellow vampires, and even their mathematically perfect appearances didn’t have much of an effect, which is AWESOME. This means that the relationships between vampires, like Carlisle and Esme or Alice and Jasper or Emmett and Rosalie had to be based on other things than physical appearance, which was all the original canon emphasised. It meant that they’d have to love who their partner was, rather than what they looked like. And that is a FANTASTIC thing.

Edward again calls the appearance of vampires, ‘the uncanny beauty of their chiseled faces’. And this certainly makes much, MUCH more sense than Meyer’s endless repetition of how oh so perfect vampires are, because beauty is subjective and thus an epitome didn’t exist, and perfection is imperfect because perfection is unnatural and un-relatable, and what is unnatural and un-relatable cannot be perfect.

Edward says that he could see the vampire was attractive before she’d been turned, which suggests that they must retain some traits from their humanity, which is not only more realistic, but also makes for a far more interesting world too. The way Meyer described them, it always felt like all vampires looked the same, which is BORING. And considering that different people have different standards of beauty, it makes no sense why a trait designed to lure prey would isolate large sectors of the population by only going for one appearance.

Oh, ‘...and Edward had been embarrassed at the rather large amount of skin her worn and tattered clothing revealed.’

I just quoted that because it was CUTE and it makes me smile. Shut up, I don’t always have to have something vaguely intelligent-sounding to say.

We’re then informed that just as animal blood tasted like sewage to Edward after drinking human blood, vampires that drank animal blood smelled HORRIBLE, which, again, makes sense, considering they do have animal blood flowing through their veins. This adds another HUGE disadvantage to the Cullens, because they’d be instantly identifiable and thus much more easily subjected to prejudice. And even if the other vampires didn’t know what the smell meant, just the fact that they STANK is ample reason for them to be outcast in vampire society.

That, and it was a BRILLIANT fishslap moment, too. I’m pretty sure the smell isn’t quite as strong to humans (or even noticeable at all), it’s still nice to see that there’s no ‘sweet scent’ bullshit here. Because it makes no freaking sense why a vampire would need to SMELL GOOD. And a vampire should definitely NEVER have sweet breath, because they freaking drink BLOOD.

Edward continues to be ridiculous adorable, which makes me vaguely uncomfortable. I don’t WANT to fangirl him, dammit, but it’s almost impossible not to squee at something like this, ‘Edward felt his face prickling in discomfort-she thought they stank? Why? He had barely managed to keep from sniffing himself…’

It turns out, Edward can’t smell himself, which is…vaguely a good thing, I guess. At least he doesn’t have to live with a constant stench in his nose.

The vampire and Edward shake hands, and Edward notices that she smelled REALLY freaking good. Specifically, ‘a rich, warm, sweet scent’. Oh yeah, fishslap.

Not only did Mrs. Hyde subvert the whole ‘Edward breathing on me makes me orgasm’ thing of canon, she made the fact that most vampires smell good LOGICAL. The effect only works on other vampires, and that’s because they’re attracted to human blood, so it explains why someone with human blood in their veins would smell nice.

They chat for a while, and Edward is cute again, which is annoying. Dammit, stop making me fangirl you. It’s going to be hard to explain why I have a basement shrine to “Edward Cullen”. He even comments that he hadn’t had the chance to be a gentleman since he’d ‘fallen ill with the ‘flu’. I swear, he’s doing this on purpose.

Oh, and it’s very, VERY interesting that Edward carefully avoids thinking about the fact that he DIED at this point. Seems like denial wasn’t a recent trait for him.

And the vampire is charmed by him, becoming slightly less hostile, which is, again, AWESOME. Mrs. Hyde’s Edward doesn’t need supernatural help to make ladies happy, Meyer. PWNED.

Well, that’s until she told Edward that she was going to hunt.

‘It had taken Edward a moment to realize that she didn’t mean that like they did-she meant she was going to hunt a human here…’

It’s quite striking just how much Edward believed in and accepted Carlisle’s philosophy that it literally never even occur to him that hunting for a vampire would involve human prey at all. This makes much more sense than Canon!Edward’s portrayal, what with him almost straining at the leash to go massacre humans and only holding back because Carlisle Would Disapprove. Because people don’t have a 180 in morality just because they’re turned into a vampire in this universe (or at least they’re not meant to), and anyone who can just suddenly switch to viewing a clearly sapient species little more than cattle is SO not a heroic protagonist. It also makes Mrs. Hyde’s Edward much more sympathetic because not only is he on OUR side, but his innocence and naivety is so palpable that it’s nigh impossible not to feel bad about the disillusionment you know is coming.

In fact, Edward is consistently almost child-like in his trust in Carlisle and naivety in this scene, which goes further than just contrasting the Cullens’ values with that of a normal vampire. It also contrasts against his recent actions in Chicago as well as the angst and despair he’d fallen into at the beginning of this chapter. We’d spent 2 chapters watching his hold on humanity slowly slip, so a sudden reminder of what a sweet child he’d been, of him at his very best, right when we’ve just seen him at the lowest point in his life yet? This is a very poignant flashback indeed.

The vampire notices Edward’s discomfort at her declaration and asks if this is their territory, almost challenging them to drive her off. I…I am confused again. I thought most vampires were nomadic in this universe and the only ones that consistently stayed in a place were the Imperials? She can’t think Edward and Carlisle are Imperial officers, because they are almost consistently treated with fearful respect, and if she was foolhardy enough to challenge an Imperial official like that, she probably wouldn’t have survived ‘til this point. But if she didn’t think Edward and Carlisle were Imperial officials…then why would she assume they even HAD a territory?

Not to mention, how much blood does a single vampire require? I don’t see vampires going to the trouble of fighting each other to secure more food supplies when they won’t even need it. I doubt any nomad would try to drive other nomads out of a certain region just so they can kill, what, one or two people?

Edward continues to be incredibly goddamned cute, still being confused over whether he and Carlisle and their borderline slashy relationship of Win is the norm or not, and he’s making me want to smack him in the head again. Edward is such an idiot.

Carlisle steps in and takes care of the situation, and again, he reminds me so much of a father that I can’t help but smile. Anyway, he tells the vampire that they have no claim on the area (I thought no one did except whatever Imperials were in charge of the region?) and she could do anything, but still makes it clear that he’d rather she didn’t hunt there. I’m not quite sure if he intended to make his disapproval obvious or if he just can’t help his reaction to, you know, murder, but either way, he continues to prove his superiority over the canon Carlisle (not that that’s hard).

He’s obviously trying to avoid a fight, choosing his words carefully and not just shoving his opinions down other…vampire’s throats (which is a lovely, lovely thing), but he doesn’t lie about his opinions on killing people either. He truthfully says that he’d rather if the nomad didn’t hunt people, and explains his view (‘We need not take others’ lives in order to sustain our own. There are other options.’) when she demands an explanation.

That made this Carlisle so, SO much more human than the canon one, which is a GOOD thing, dammit. When the canon Carlisle stood by and didn’t do a thing (or even actively helped) when other vampires hunted humans on or near his turf, we just saw that as straightforward hypocrisy. He wasn’t refraining from a human diet because he cared about humans, because otherwise, he wouldn’t have stood by and allowed mass-murder to occur. He was obviously just doing it for moral superiority.

But here, Carlisle seems very…tired and resigned as he explains his view, like he’s done this many, many times before and been mocked or persecuted against each time. He knew this wasn’t going to do any good except cause himself and Edward trouble, and that’s why he was trying not to get on this topic at the start. We can see that he’s obviously tried to convince people before and failed catastrophically, and that he didn’t want to cause trouble here for a large part because of EDWARD. He didn’t want Edward to see the...bad side of vampire society (as redundant as that sounds) and he definitely didn’t want Edward to be hurt, or even worse, convinced that his current diet is dirty and unnatural. And as such, we can accept his valiant efforts to avoid the topic, because it’s not just that he didn’t care. It’s that he’s been hurt too much and is trying to protect his adopted son from harm.

But when the topic inevitably comes around, he doesn’t just sit there in silence or try to pretend to go along with the other vampire’s point of view either, but still holds his ground, even though he knows it’ll end in disaster. Because he’s not going to betray his principles, and though he knows it’ll probably come to nothing, he’s not going to let the chance of convincing another vampire slip by, because every miniscule seed of doubt he plants about their current diet, the higher the chance that he’d have saved someone who was destine to be vampire food one day. And most importantly, his resolve and integrity would set an example for Edward. He’s the only vampire Edward really knows at this point, so if he gives in and is complacent, it could influence Edward’s own actions easily.

For someone who’s never been a parent, Carlisle is a damned good father (except for the accidental rape thing).

Amusingly enough, the vampire here echoes a lot of Meyer’s sentiments, ‘We’re vampires, man-we have to feed to survive-and that is what humans are for.’

And Edward lets loose his Edwardian Rage at that (and this passage makes me an evil bastard, because now I just want to see him Spork Midnight Sun) and presents the same argument that the people at Das_Sporking have been shouting since Meyer first compared humanity to cattle. And as much as I like him for agreeing with me (because I like being right), I also enjoy his Edwardian Rages a whole lot more than the cold contempt or calculating psychopathy of the canon Edward. This outburst, hardly a well thought out retort in any capacity, shows us his passion and adamant belief in Carlisle’s ideals like no well-worded debate ever can. And his incredulity, the fact that he doesn’t argue his point further because it should be OBVIOUS that humans were much, much more because vampires WERE human, again tells us of how such a thought had never even entered his head, it was so unthinkable to him. And as much as the nomad looks down on them for their silly morals, he looks right back down to her because she was, you know, a MURDERER.

And again, this scene makes his fall all the more tragic, because we see that he understands fully why murdering humans is WRONG (unlike the canon Edward, who doesn’t seem to see anything wrong with murder at all). He really grasps every argument and really believes in it, and so his actions in Chapter 4 and 5 really contrasts against the ideals he’s espousing here and that he’s been following for 10 years and shows us just how far he’s fallen.

The nomad is still rudely mocking (she is SO not a lady >8-() and says that this kind of attitude will just result in his starving to death (is that possible in this universe? Can they actually die of hunger?), and Carlisle says that he’s never killed anyone in over two centuries. Noticeably, he still doesn’t tell her about the animal diet, again pointing to trauma in his past and really makes me want to know more about him.

This prompts the nomad to think back to her feedings, wondering why anyone would want to give something like that up. And again, I have to applaud the drug metaphor of the blood, because it provides a great reason for why presumably perfectly moral people turn into murders when changed - because blood is just that addictive, and we’ve seen plenty of examples of previously good people driven to increasingly desperate deeds to get another hit. It made the magical alignment change of the canon series a lot more logical and understandable.

Edward feels the experience vicariously through her, and that explains again why Carlisle and he never went close to vampire society. It’s not just that they’re treated with disgust there, but also how it would be much, much, MUCH harder for Edward to resist drinking human blood when in the company of people who revel in it. After all, we’ve all seen how addictive it is, and Edward here doesn’t even need to kill a person to get his first hit. All he has to do is stand near a vampire who’s going through their memories.

‘Edward felt a surge of memory of what it felt like to feed, of the taste-the first time he’d experienced such a thing as a vampire, having only eaten animals before…’

Interesting, that he doesn’t consider drinking animal blood feeding. Though it makes sense, of course, as we’ve seen that it doesn’t sustain him (or doesn’t do so nearly as well as human blood). But still, it’s an interesting view into his beliefs. Though he’s never contemplated using people as sustenance, it’s undeniable that he still doesn’t think of drinking animal blood as the norm, but instead as a deprivation. That mentality probably contributed to his downfall…and this is just how many years into his life as a vampire? Damn, foreshadowing.

Edward is mortified by his reaction to the memory (and the self-loathing is there so early too, being ashamed of physical reactions that aren’t his fault at all). His reactions that are, ‘in his mouth and his throat and his stomach and his groin…’ Oh yes, Mrs. Hyde. Wave that penis metaphor in my face so I can’t see the drug metaphor.

That sentence sounded SO wrong.

Anyway, pressed, Carlisle finally tells her about the animal diet.

And that results in the obvious.

‘She blinked, and then her face contorted with horror, and she recoiled violently, as if struck. “You-you eat animals?!” she shrilled…’ And it’s soon made obvious just why she’s so appalled by the thought, as she thinks Carlisle and Edward gain the same pleasure she does from eating people by eating animals.

So, she thinks they’re Furries.

Edward is appalled and embarrassed, but Carlisle remains mostly calm. It’s more than obvious here that he’s had to go through this whole process many, MANY times, which again makes him much more sympathetic than the canon Carlisle.

In fact, the nomad’s reaction to the animal diet makes the Cullens as a whole here much more sympathetic than their canon counterparts (and more believable too). There was never really any downside to eating animals portrayed in canon, and we’ve seen Carlisle convince a few vampires to try the animal diet too, so the fact that his lifestyle is so easily preached makes him all the more abominable, as we never see him actively going out and trying to convince more. And again, the fact that they don’t have to sacrifice ANYTHING by drinking animal blood (and indeed gain something from it, as the Illustrated Guide informs) makes their ‘sacrifice’ not a sacrifice at all.

Carlisle clarifies that ‘It is a means for survival’. And if I can go on another segue, I really love the way Mrs. Hyde portrays hunting animals in this ‘verse. There’s none of the self-aggrandising pissing contests in canon, where they prance around and only pick on the largest predators, trying to compensate for the microscopic shrivelled little worm between their legs. We’ve seen Edward hunt, and it was methodical and routine, and his prey was always, you know, PREY.

He wasn’t treating the hunt as a game or opportunity to wank to his own awesomeness, because it ISN’T. The canon Cullens have so much fun on an animal diet that it’s preposterous anyone would suggest it was a noble sacrifice on their part, and even more, if it was so fun and easy to do, it stretches the suspension of disbelief that no other vampire apart from the Cullens (or those persuaded by the Cullens) have ever tried it in history. Ever.

But then again, Meyer’s writing is only slightly worse than that of a spastic monkey having a seizure on a keyboard, so I guess I have to give her some slack.

Of course, the nomad isn’t listening. All she heard was yiff and she’s outta there, man. And again, I have to appreciate how hard Mrs. Hyde made converting other vampires to an animal lifestyle. Because there really isn’t a way to ease the vampire into what you’re about to say, and once you’ve said it, this is pretty much the very first thing their minds are going to leap to, and at that point, nothing you can say will convince them. There’s no way to prep your argument such that when you first propose the idea, they’re not going to recoil like you’ve just suggested…well, bestiality.

Edward was, of course, very shaken by the experience. It was one of the worst ways to have it revealed to him that they WEREN’T the norm, and that what he considered moral was seen as depraved in vampire society. And knowing how much he valued belonging? Yeah, I can see why this incident stood out so sharply in his mind. It was basically the vampire community as a whole slamming a door in his face.

Carlisle waited until Edward brought the problem up himself before explaining thing to him, which again, is pretty damned good parenting skills. He’s not going to leave Edward to solve this problem alone, but he’s also not going to impose on Edward’s beliefs and waits until he’s internalised the occurrence and came up with his own theories. It’s yet another look at how even when Edward hadn’t been through his experience in the latter chapters that would reaffirm his adherence to the animal diet, he wasn’t doing it just because Carlisle told him so. He clearly believed in the ideals behind an animal diet from the start.

And then Edward makes me face palm.

‘“I am sorry, Edward,” he said, being so typically Carlisle to apologize for something that wasn’t his fault.’

Oh, really, Edward? CARLISLE is the one that keeps blaming everything on himself? Really?

I’ve already pointed out why it made sense that Carlisle never told Edward about what the rest of the vampires were like. Not to mention, just how could you explain the amount of disgust the other vampires held for animal diets and the reason why to your son? Though, interestingly, Carlisle thinks that the vampires are prejudiced against him because, ‘…they think that it makes us…weaker. That we are diminished by our choice of diet.”’

I can see where this belief comes from, since a vampire drinking human blood IS stronger and more capable, and compassion and morality could be easily seen as a sign of weakness in a society like that. Though this does nicely contrast against Edward’s musings in Chapter 1 Part 1, where he said that a strong vampire was one that could control the reactions of his body and not be slave to bloodlust. Again, the Cullens here are very different from the rest of the vampires, which works to set the rest of the vampires up as antagonists. It really doesn’t work in canon, because the nomads and Volturi were really not that different (and in some cases far better morally) than the Cullens.

Carlisle knows that they think of him as ‘some sort of deviant’ and seems vaguely amused by it, and Edward...knows exactly what’s going on, and damn, this must have made it all the harder for him to stick to an animal diet, because he wouldn’t be able to help but associating it with Furrydom.

Coming back to the present, Edward reflects that though he’d looked into the nomad’s mind and all, he’d never really realised just what his way of life meant to others until now. Now that he’d known just what sort of ecstasy human blood brought, the thought of being that…er…overwhelmed by animal blood creeps him out as well.

It’s quite interesting that Edward chose to focus on why he’d been rejected by a vampire he’d met years ago over worrying over whether or not he’d ever be able to force himself to go back to an animal diet in the future. Not only does it show us yet again how much value he places upon belonging, but also his tendency to go right into denial whenever something bad happens. He’s not thinking about the deeper implications of the nausea animal blood causes him, because if he did, then he might have to confront the fact that he has to go through this process god knows how many times until he’s used to it, keep going through it because he’ll never get used to it, or just stick with murder for the rest of his life and consequently be rejected by Carlisle as well, his last source of belonging.

Edward goes flaccid, and he remembers that Carlisle had told him he’d managed to explain to a few vampires that animal blood didn’t bring him any pleasure at all. But that did nothing to convince them to the diet, or make him higher in their opinions in fact, because they couldn’t see why someone would deprive himself of the BESTEST ORGASM IN THE WORLD OMG.

This introduces a VERY good reason that Carlisle’s…coven is mostly composed of the people he had turned, who’d been taught since the moment they turned to stick to animal diets because murder is wrong, dammit. As soon as you’ve had human blood, you’re basically addicted to it for life (actually, even when you haven’t had it, you’re addicted to it for life), and the more murders you commit, the more desensitised you become. Add that to the fact that vampires never stay anywhere long enough to build any connections, it becomes easier and easier over the years to stop thinking of humans as people.

It definitely makes sense here why the vampires in this universe are all mass-murderers, despite their previous moral stances in life.

And then Edward thinks something deeply, deeply disturbing.

‘Although, in Edward’s defense, he hadn’t really chosen it.’

In his DEFENSE, he didn’t actively CHOOSE to not murder people. So you can’t BLAME him for not being a murderer.

I get that he’s very defensive about the diet the Cullens use, and that his society does literally blame him for not being a murderer, but the way that’s worded…it’s almost like he’s starting to think like them now. He feels like he has the need to justify why he follows this diet, instead of expecting the other vampires to justify their diet of MURDER, as Edward in the flashback had done.

That’s creepy.

‘Carlisle had told him that was the way he lived, and Edward had followed his example. Edward had never had a chance to give anything up at all-it was simply the way things were.’

…And it just got more creepy. It almost seems like Edward now is blaming the newborn Edward for following Carlisle’s philosophy so naturally. He definitely sounds quite bitter there, as if he wished he HAD been given a choice. And though I THINK he’ll still choose the animal diet right now, just the fact that he’s honestly considering murder as an option he might have chosen is…creepy.

And he’s starting to sound a bit resentful towards Carlisle too. I wonder what he expected Carlisle to do. After all, the newborn Edward probably knew that vampires traditionally drank human blood, and he CHOSE to follow an animal diet. I get that he wants to make an INFORMED decision, but seriously, was Carlisle meant to describe to him in intricate detail how orgasmic human blood is? Or let him out and drain a person just so he can see what it’s like? He’d REALLY have no choice then.

Sure, the newborn Edward was heavily influenced by Carlisle and very naïve on a lot of things, but he was still given a choice according to his morals. If he’d ever been allowed near human blood at that point, he’d really have no choice, because he would’ve gotten addicted, and he definitely wouldn’t have been strong enough to pull himself out of the addiction.

Edward reflects that the nomad had been RIGHT, in some ways. And that makes me want to punch his face in. Can we go back to the cute and gentlemanly and Edwardian Rage-y Edward now? I want him back.

That resentful tone towards Carlisle comes back again as he thinks Carlisle had dismissed her as simply prejudiced against something she didn’t understand (which, you know, SHE WAS), but Edward points out that the animal diet HAD diminished him, because he was much stronger and faster and better in every way since drinking human blood.

*Patiently* Edward, remember what you said in Chapter 1?

‘Powerful indeed. Was it power to be a slave to the demands of his body-or to the secondhand demands of others’?’

The animal diet didn’t diminish you because it made you weaker, you idiot, because physical strength wasn’t what made you powerful. I thought you knew that! The animal diet made you capable of not being ruled by the demands of your body and not a slave to your animal urges. It made you BETTER than vampires. It made you MORE than vampires. It made you HUMAN.

I have a feeling that this is yet another look into the mind of an addict as Edward tries to rationalise his actions and maybe reason himself into trying human blood again. And it’s seriously freaking me out.

Drinking human blood apparently had an effect on his appearance as well, ‘…he’d seen his flushed, near rosy skin, his plump cheeks, and the lack of dark circles under his eyes-eyes that flamed gold, rather than the brassy, sickly orange that he’d become accustomed to.’

It’s amazing how these little details make Mrs. Hyde’s vampires so believable. It was always suspension-of-disbelief-breaking how canon vampires managed to remain undetected, given that they stood out like a sore thumb. Not many people paraded around with chalk white skin and racoon like dark circles under their eyes. People wouldn’t necessarily think ‘Vampire!!!’, sure, but they’d still remember these people, so there was no way they could stay inconspicuous or blend in. Here, although the Cullens are indeed pale and have dark circles under their eyes, we see that they are most definitely NOT the norm amongst vampires; it was the result of their unusual diet. Normal vampires are much more inconspicuous in their appearance, with colour in their skin and all.

And it’s ironic too, in that it’s the inhumane murdering vampires that look closer to humanity, while the more fundamentally human vampires that subsist on animal blood look closer to traditional vampires.

And then Edward gets even more creepy.

‘…And just what other advantages had he been robbed of? What other agonies had he been forced to endure by eating animal blood?’

*STABBITY STAB*

Okay, let’s wrap up this part quickly.

Edward shakes himself out of his contemplation, because thinking about that makes him even hunger for the blood of the people on the docks opposite the river (oh, that’s the only reason you shouldn’t do it, huh? *STABBITY STAB*). He debates whether or not it’d be a good idea to get on the docks (YOU MURDERED SOMEONE, YOU IDIOT *STABBITY STAB*). He hesitates, and then reasons that he has no reason to hesitate about getting near a bunch of humans (YOU MORON *STABBITY STAB*). And so he jumps onto the buoy and vaults to the dock.

See you guys next time. I really have to go stabbity-stab on something.

Go Forward to: Chapter 3 Part 2, Section C

Go Back to: Chapter 3 Part 1, Section A