The Darkest Hour - Chapter 3 Part 2 (Section D):
SOS: Hello, guys! I’m back with another short part (there’s only about 500 words left of this chapter), and with me is Mantra!
Mantra: Because she’s a pussy.
SOS: Ahem, we open this chapter with two police officers, who are investigating the crime, and we don’t get back to Edward until near the very, very end. And this is a very interest way to approach the aftermath of Froggy’s murder. It’s quite interesting that we’ve spent this entire story in Edward’s head, and the story is composed of more his internal monologue than actual events at this stage…and yet here, after he’d just completely failed to prove to himself that he’s not a danger to humanity, we don’t get to see his thoughts until he’s already accepted and is able to justify murder.
And in a way, it’s a lot more effective this way too. By this point, the audience knows Edward enough to be able to tell his reaction without having to see it. We know that he would probably be devastated right after coming off the high Froggy’s blood was giving him, not only because he’d failed to prove that he can live in a city again, but also because of traumatic flashbacks to Reggie. Of course, then he’d launch straight into justification mode, because he doesn’t want to acknowledge that he’s very much a monster. He’d be trying to persuade himself all night long that Froggy had deserved it, that he was going to sell the drug to kids or something, that Edward was doing society a service...And reading about all of that would be quite redundant, since we already saw how he reacted to murder at the beginning of Chapter 3. There’d be a lot more justification and frantic desperation this time, but it wouldn’t be that different from the angst at the beginning of this chapter, so repeating it isn’t necessary.
Not to mention, by detaching the audience from Edward at such a pivotal point, Mrs. Hyde makes sure that we’re less capable of sympathising and indulging Edward in the next two chapters based on his virtues displayed in Chapters 1 and 2. This is a nice cut-off point that lets us contrast the Edward in Chapters 4 and 5 with what came before, and thus nicely show how his slip in morality made him a terrible person. AND it provided an outside perspective into Edward’s crimes and answers what the police would think of the criminals that are going to be turning up all over the city soon.
Mantra: Well, seeing as this section is so short, you wanna spork it? You’re going to be pretty much quoting every line anyways, since there’s so much content here.
SOS: Let’s.
Lieutenant Jerry Lynch prodded at the body with his toe in disgust.
SOS: Every bit of the interaction between the police officers enables Edward to justify his crime. It’s clear here that Lieutenant Lynch (OW, that name is SO sledgehammery) doesn’t care about Froggy’s death at all. He has no respect for Froggy. In fact, he’s glad that Froggy is dead. So, here comes someone that really believes that Froggy WAS a scum and his dead was only of minimal cost to society if not goddamned beneficial, and he’s treating Froggy as lesser than human, the way he casually pokes Froggy’s body with his foot. And he’s a normal human being, and a symbol of justice no less, being a police officer. It’s easy to see how his reaction allows Edward to believe his justifications about how Froggy deserved to die. After all, a POLICE OFFICER agreed with him that Froggy was hardly fit to be a member of society.
Mantra: And the attitude makes sense considering the context too. I mean, it was the 20s, right when crime is running rampant. He probably has to deal with a case like this every couple of days, and he’s got much bigger problems to worry about, with the abundance of organised crime. So, again, pretty easy for Edward to think that he’s helping society by taking care of the little problems that the police don’t have the time or resources for.
“They sure did a number on him, sir,” remarked Wiley, his voice shaky-he was a young, fresh-faced kid new on the force, and this was his first homicide-and it wasn’t pretty.
Mantra: Ah, the newbie. I don’t like their types. They get so worked up over EVERYTHING.
SOS: Note that even the innocent, naïve newcomer doesn’t have any sympathy for Froggy. He’s just queasy over the gore. And if the justice system didn’t care about the loss of Froggy, then why should Edward? After all, his first thought after killing Reggie was that he needed to turn himself over to the police, and now he’s just gotten proof that the police doesn’t CARE.
Mantra: Oh, and Meyer? THAT is how you have your vampires kill people and not rouse suspicion. It was committed during a period of very high crime, so a new corpse turning up is hardly noteworthy, especially in a bad neighbourhood like the industrial docks. The victim has a history of crime, drug-related crime no less, committed with his drug-addicted friends. And if drug addicts are known for one thing, it’s being possessive of their hit to the point of homicide. And he’s poor, and probably not very well connected in life beyond his drug addict friends. And the way Edward killed him was very quick and quiet, and it was only because he was struggling that the wound is so torn and ripped.
You can’t have your vampire go through a pretty well-to-do neighbourhood and smash cars together and set them on fire, all while laughing and jeering, and yet STILL have the police realise nothing, darling. Especially not when those people have family members and friends who CARE and who are going to press for more extensive investigations and never rest until SOMEONE is arrested for the crime.
Oh, well-better he get used to it sooner rather than later.
SOS: I’m pretty sure Lieutenant Lynch is cynical just as a result of his profession, but still, this probably ended up fuelling Edward’s belief in his justifications. It sound like murder is an everyday occurrence to him, which it probably is, but to Edward, this only confirms how much crime is around and how it’s not going to get better...Not to mention his attitude that VIOLENT MURDER is something that you just GET USED TO. No point in trying to stop it or try to prevent it or anything. Nope, you just get USED to it. Because it's not like murder is an AVOIDABLE thing, right?
Mantra: Again, he dismisses the murder of Froggy. See, Meyer, the TWENTIES is a time where you can have a city having an ungodly high body count, because that was when organised crime was all the rage. You can NOT have the same thing just after 9/11 without SERIOUS FUCKING PANIC.
“I’ve seen worse, I’m afraid, kid,” Jerry answered.
Mantra: Ah, so he’s all but reassured Edward that he’s not the worst out there. And that’s probably gonna be what Edward uses to justify his right to judge people later on-at least he doesn’t target INNOCENT people like those disgusting criminals!
“People like this-they’re animals.
SOS: *STABBITY STAB* …Oh wait. That wasn’t Edward. Sorry.
Mantra: God, it almost seems like this speech is tailor made to assuage Edward’s guilt. ‘See? You weren’t being a horrible sociopathic murderer! I, as a symbol of justice, agree that this guy here is barely human.’
They’ll tear each other to pieces without thinkin’ twice, and over stupid shit, like how to divide up the haul
SOS: *Blinks* I…I think that’s foreshadowing for Chapter 6. Wow. That’s subtlety.
Mantra: Right, Lieutenant. That is why the gang left all the Morphine there, at the scene, instead of taking some with them. Right.
-but better each other than honest citizens, that’s what I say.”
Mantra: Better for the criminals to die than honest citizens, huh? This cop basically provided ALL of Edward’s beliefs in the next few chapters.
He spat on the filthy ground next to the stiffening corpse and looked up.
Poor Wiley was still pale, unable to tear his eyes away from the tattered throat on the obviously broken neck of the stiff, and Jerry took pity on him.
SOS: Huh…this scene is really quite symbolic of Edward’s internal struggles between his, well, asshole-ish side and his non-asshole-ish side, with Lieutenant Lynch representing the side that wants to go all MURDER SPREE and Wiley being horrified at his deeds. Lieutenant Lynch is spouting out every argument Edward will use later on to justify his crime, and even then, Wiley can’t move past the fact that, well, someone’s DEAD. Lieutenant Lynch is all used to the death, treating the body with contempt and dismissal, while Wiley is sickened by the spectacle. The Lieutenant is trying to persuade Wiley to get used to the bloodshed, because it’s not going to stop and it’s ultimately for the good of society…
My GOD, I hadn’t even NOTICED the symbolism the first time I read through! Subtlety, how I love thee.
Mantra: Lynch clearly has more authority over Wiley here, and while he’s delivering his arguments, Wiley is pretty much silent and doesn’t offer a word of protest. And then there’s how with Wiley being the new guy, he’s going to depend on Lynch quite a bit and take his word for things. Pretty damned clear which side is dominant in Edward right now.
“Don’t let it get to you, Mert-you’ll see this kind of thing near every day, now-you’ll get used to it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and cast his eyes around him, up at the dull red reflection of the city lights on the cloudy sky.
SOS: Taking into account the symbolism? My GOD, what fantastic foreshadowing. And what an asshole Lynch is too!
Mantra: Well, with a name like that, I doubt he can help it.
SOS: And even without the symbolism, that’s still a very dickish thing to say. He’s basically trivialising murder, turning it into an everyday annoyance that’s to be beared with, not a horribly crime that needs to be fought with vigour. And while I kind of know where he comes from, as he must be terribly disillusioned by his job…but still, I feel a tiny bit resentful to him, just because of how much of Edward’s beliefs he’s affirming.
“The way this city’s going to the dogs, you can’t help it.
SOS: Oh, nice. Now he’s telling Edward how the police are ineffectual and can’t stop crime from taking over the city. He’s all but encouraging him to “lend a helping hand”.
Mantra: Not to mention, you could see that as him telling Edward that he couldn’t have helped his actions. Because, you know, he was just SO distraught by the rampant crime and did EVERYTHING out of justice, oh yes.
But I promise, it’s a hundred times worse when it’s just some poor hardworking sap who got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.
SOS: And AGAIN, he encourages Edward to go for criminals, because he’d be killing innocents otherwise. See how nicely this pushes the option of drinking animal blood out of the picture?
Mantra: Oh, but animal blood is ICKY now, and Edward may or may not be able to stick to the diet, and he’s TERRIFIED of failure. So he’s not going to even try.
Believe me-no one is going to miss this guy.”
SOS: Really, Froggy and Edward’s circumstances are VERY similar, especially the version of Edward in Chapter 4. They both don’t have any connections anymore outside of the questionable friends they have, they’re both addicted to something very, very bad that is nearly impossible to abstain from, they both go to the extremes of murder to satisfy their addiction, they’re both eventually beaten up by a fucking hypocrite (and Edward would have been killed if he was mortal)…
Mantra: That’s probably why Edward got off on killing Froggy so much. It’s not just about trying to prove that he’s better than Froggy, but also probably a way for him to release his self-loathing. He despises Froggy because he reminds Edward too much of himself…kind of like how he probably despised Reggie because the lust that overtook your rationality and forced you into doing shameful things that are damaging to others is far too familiar to him.
Wiley looked up, and Jerry smiled at him. “We ran his records-did you know this guy is wanted for murder down in Arkansas? Killed some kid over ten dollars.”
SOS: So, again, like in the case of Reggie, it’s easily argued that Froggy here deserved to die-or at least that his death would be of minimal loss to society. The thing is, it’s only by coincidence that Edward knew about Froggy had killed someone before. Edward here, like his canon counterpart, only hears surface thoughts. And I have no doubt that even if this was Froggy’s very first time smuggling drugs, Edward still would’ve lost control and ate him-or at the VERY least severely beat him up.
But now that’s never happened to him yet. Both times, he’d managed to kill habitual criminals who were probably not going to be rehabilitated. And that probably teaches Edward that it’s okay to judge people by their surface thoughts, because every time he’d done so, he was proven right and had only helped society get rid of its scum. Lieutenant Lynch here is indirectly telling Edward that his very superficial mind-reading is a good judge for people’s character-that whoever he decides to pick on deserves to be picked on.
And that’s probably what makes settling into a vigilante routine so easy for Edward-because he’d never made a mistake yet, had he? The people he picked out always deserved to die.
He patted Wiley’s his shoulder and then headed for the squad car, Wiley near leaping after him;
Mantra: Oooh, hot. They’re so going to have comfort sex after this.
SOS: *Dirty look* Even though it’s quite natural that the police would write off the death as due to in-fighting, I have a feeling that Edward is going to take this as an indication that the police either don’t care about their jobs or are incompetent, whether consciously or not. And Wiley’s eagerness to get away is only going to affirm that the police don’t WANT to do their jobs, and naturally, looking at this pair of cynical indifference and newbie naivety, Edward would decide that he’d do a far better job flushing out the lowlife in the city. And that’s not taking into account his existing distrust of policemen, because he’d had several encounters with corrupt or simply uncaring ones. Oh, and his disillusionment with the justice system once he realised that he can’t be punished for anything he does under it, because of the masquerade.
Mantra: Oh, and if you follow through with the symbolism, then Edward’s naïve and more human side just started following in the steps of his vampiric side, having been convinced by it not to over-think what it’s doing.
their work here was nearly over
Mantra: Well, isn’t that nicely meta?
SOS: Nearly OVER? You hadn’t DONE anything yet! See what I mean by this being an indication of the indifference or incompetence of the police?
-time to let the ambulance do its job and take the body down to the morgue.
SOS: And by thinking that way, he’s basically just reduced death to a routine, an everyday part of life. And that just makes sliding down the slippery slope even easier, because when something becomes routine, you cease thinking about it. You become so used to excusing each death with vigilantism that eventually, you just skip the step entirely and stop thinking about murder as something that needs justification. The police officer is jaded, and his thoughts are helping Edward become more and more desensitised to death, by painting it as just part of the job.
Mantra: Indeed, he’s even teaching Edward that death is an inevitable price of getting rid of criminals. There’s no way to get around having to kill someone to stop a crime, after all. *Rolls eyes*
“And here he was, he and his buddies trying to steal medicine meant for the children’s hospital downtown.”
SOS: Huh. I wonder if Edward knew that before he killed Froggy. It’d be a nice tie to how he wants to become a doctor and all.
Mantra: *Shrugs* Does it matter? It doesn’t change the fact that Edward didn’t kill Froggy because he was a bad person. He killed Froggy because he needed blood. He didn’t do it for the children-he did it for himself.
SOS: True. Though this would certainly help Edward justify his later killings. Not only hadn’t he ever been wrong in judging someone before, but the people he killed were often more evil than he thought! And since his mind-reading seems to focus on negative thoughts, compounded by this incident, he’s not even going consider that people might be more innocent than he thought. He’s going to hear someone who has criminal thoughts, and all he’d be able to think is how many bad things they’ve done that he hasn’t heard about. And that’d make it almost too easy to justify killing them.
He shook his head, half rueful, half amused.
SOS: BECAUSE MURDER IS JUST OH SO AMUSING. *STABBITY STAB*
Mantra: He’s been treating murder like it ain’t a thing since the start of this scene. Kinda explains where Edward got his attitude from in the later chapters.
SOS: He’s not just bloody treating it like it ain’t a thing! He’s treating it like…like it’s AMUSING. This is beyond indifferent cynicism! He’s AMUSED. Fucking AMUSED.
Mantra: Well, it does fit the fic’s theme of angsty internal monologues, quickly followed by meeting an asshole.
“Trust me, kid-when you’ve been at this job as long as I have,
SOS: -you’ll turn into a condescending douchewad?
Mantra: Hey! Some police officers are fine! REALLY fine. *Licks lips*
you’ll see that our friend here was only getting what he deserved.”
SOS: NO ONE deserves to be killed, eaten, and symbolically raped (possibly in that order), dear. And while the police officer doesn’t know, YOU, EDWARD, DO!
Mantra: He’s basically just handed Edward permission to go forth and slaughter, huh?
SOS: Okay, I won’t dispute that maybe Reggie deserved to die. I won’t even dispute that maybe Froggy deserved to die-some countries would certainly sentence him to death. But the point is, neither Reggie nor Froggy got what they deserved! What they deserved was JUSTICE. What they freaking got was…was providing a hit for a druggie! And that’s NOT justice!
And again, while the police officer doesn’t know, YOU, EDWARD, FUCKING DO!
Mantra: As if he’s gonna think about that in favour of just latching onto the lovely little justification for the murder the police officer offered him. He doesn’t like thinking much at all, for someone so internal-monologue-happy.
Yes, thought Edward,
Mantra: See? I told you so.
SOS: OH MY GOD, HOW BLIND CAN YOU GEEEEEEEEEEEET?
Mantra: Eh, he’s was pretty deep in denial to begin with. It’s pretty damned in-character for him to latch onto anything that might suggest he wouldn’t have to blame himself for Froggy’s death. Because he’s TERRIFIED of becoming a monster, you see, so he tries hard to justify everything he does, so he can reassure himself that he’s not losing control, but voluntarily relinquishing it, not understanding that’s precisely how monsters are made.
SOS: And I must say, I really kind of LIKE the fact that there's no pagebreak to signify it when we return to Edward's head. It just drives home how the police officers are reflections of his inner psyche, and we've never really left his head. Even outside his POV, we're still witnessing his internal struggles.
the sound of the slamming doors of the ambulance echoing through the alley as he watched from his perch in the shadows of the rooftop above.
SOS: It’s really quite powerful, how we never do get to see Froggy’s death. Compared with how visceral and painfully detailed Reggie’s death was, the quiet, off-screen nature of Froggy’s death is quite a contrast…and it really works that way. The first murder’s purpose was showing us just how horrifying this activity is, and it did it job admirably well, drawing the readers into Edward’s psyche with brilliant, BRILLIANT writing. This murder is all about how Edward became acclimated to killing, so the way Froggy died without the readers even really noticing, and his death being treated with just cynical dismissal compounds how death is routine and everyone was used and numb to it. And it’s hard for even us to really feel horrified at the cold indifference here…because we’d never seen much of Froggy and what we have seen were all universally negative, it’s easy to be drawn into the same indifference as the characters, especially when there are more interesting things to focus on-like Edward snapping.
Mantra: And isn’t it nice that as he’s slowly becoming closer and closer to a traditional, “mainstream” vampire (my, but that brings to mind some weird images), he’s described in increasingly predatorial terms? Tell me that description up there didn’t remind you of a hawk, or more appropriately owl, looking for prey?
He was nothing more than an animal-
SOS: *Snots* Oh, but isn’t that ironic after what Mantra just said?
Mantra: *Smug*
SOS: And it’s true too! EDWARD is being reduced to an animal. He’s not quite slave to his baser instincts, but he’s definitely not exactly above them either.
and he has only gotten what he deserved.
SOS: Ugh, this fic does WONDERFUL things with repetition. Edward repeats what the police officer said to himself, trying to convince himself…and succeeds. Reading that line makes me shiver, because he just sounds so…cold saying it, without any of the passion and torment that’d coloured his thoughts before. You can really feel that sinking in and becoming a major part of Edward’s psyche, one of his core beliefs for the next few chapters…and it’s CREEPY, dammit.
Mantra: Especially if you consider how he’s systematically making himself dehumanise Froggy, what with the animal comparisons, so that the next kill will be easier. Because he knows he’s gonna kill again. He’s not even bothering to try. Hell, he won’t even try to get into denial about reforming himself, like after Reggie. He’s completely accepted that yup, murder is just a part of his life now.
SOS: Which, again, is quite ironic, as Edward’s actions here dehumanises him, as in distances him from humanity.
He rose to his feet as the ambulance turned out onto the street, its lights dim and its siren silent; its occupant was in no hurry.
SOS: And he’s just carted off without ceremony or fanfare…and isn’t this moment symbolic for how no one had tried to save him? There’s no urgent scramble to preserve his life, no family or friends to pray or mourn for him…he’s just quietly driven off screen and never enters Edward’s thoughts again (at least, not until very close to the end).
Mantra: And it says something that the ambulance is being portrayed in a more human light than Froggy’s body.
He turned away, looking out over the winking lights of the city at night, and let his thoughts carry him across the winds,
SOS: I’m starting to think, it’s not JUST that his powers are designed to make him suffer if he wants to be human…it’s that the act of suffering for his gifts make him human. He identifies the foreign part of himself and loathes it and pushes it away and tries his hardest to live as though he doesn’t have it. We’ve seen in Chapter 1 that Edward truly wished that he didn’t have this power, and actively TRIES not to exploit it, because it makes him feel uncomfortable to invade on other people’s privacy. And when he does take advantage of it (getting the password to enter the club), we’re meant to see that as a morally reprehensible (or at least questionable) thing.
But here, he’s completely accepted his power and uses it voluntarily and without any thought to what that implies. In fact, he’s almost glad that he has it, because it means he can justify why he’s qualified to judge whether people deserve to live or die.
Mantra: Not to mention, that description again distances him from humanity and makes him out to be some sort of destructive force of nature.
The moment is quite symbolic too, what with him turning away and not wanting to look on the aftermath of his murder, not wanting to acknowledge it after the rush of euphoria had worn off, but instead insistently focusing on the future and immediately seeking out new targets, so he can distract any niggling hints of doubt with more highs.
and he could hear them all, all the scum and filth and crime of St. Louis, skulking and creeping through the city’s underbelly as they went about their sordid business.
SOS: Again with the dehumanisation! Not only is he describing the criminals in animalistic terms…but look! He doesn’t even call them criminals! He’s not identifying his victims as ‘people who happen to live off of criminal activities’. He’s making himself ignore the fact that criminals have an identity and a life outside of their illegal acts. He’s defining them SOLELY by their crime. He’s making himself blind to whatever familial or friendly bonds they have or any chances of redemption, and instead seeing the criminal act…and the criminal act ONLY.
Mantra: Oh yeah, and you expect me to believe not a single person was in that city just thinking about how nice their dinner is? Or how lovely their wife looks in that nightgown? Or how sweet their son is, sleeping in the crib? We all know you’re purposefully focusing on the criminal thoughts, so you can reassure yourself and hey, that accidental murder you committed was ~*~perfectly justified~*~, and you’re ENTIRELY entitled to continue doing it. We wouldn’t want to deprive you of your highs, would we?
Yes-he has only gotten what he deserved-
SOS: AGAIN with the repetition! And each time he repeats that, he believes it more and more, until it just become an unquestioned part of his psyche.
Mantra: Huh, unlike Reggie’s murder, after which Edward spent half a chapter beating himself up (for good reason), here, he refuses to even acknowledge what he did. He always refers to the murder in euphemistic terms, insisting on calling it ‘what he deserved’. Not once does he come out and say, ‘Froggy deserved to be killed.’ Probably because he’s not deep enough in denial to admit to himself that what he’s doing IS killing.
SOS: Which only reinforces the symbolism that those two police officers were reflections of Edward’s psyche. They, too, never referred to Froggy’s murder as actual MURDER.
and the world is full of more who deserve the same.
SOS: It’s amazing how every single thought Edward had heard from Chapter 1 all lead to this one moment. All he’s been hearing are the negative thoughts, thoughts of people who are lecherous or slovenly or prejudiced or uncouth…add to that his general disillusionment with society caused by having idealised the past in his mind, it’s not hard to see how he can so easily disregard the existence of good people (or at least redeemable people). And not just because he’s never hung around someone to see them becoming redeemed either.
Mantra: Again, with the euphemism! Edward is clearly trying as hard as he can not only to dehumanise his victims, but also to sanitise his own actions and make sure that he won’t have to think too much about what he’s doing when he’s trying to get a hit.
And as silent as a shadow,
Mantra: How appropriate, given that he’s fallen to the Dark Side, so to speak.
SOS: Indeed. He’s stopped trying to integrate himself into society now. He’s stopped searching for his place amongst the neon-lights and parties of humanity. He’s turned himself into a phantom that lurks on the edge of society, always on the peripheral…and while his own delusions have CERTAINLY had a huge part in leading to this, it can’t be denied that ultimately, what caused this was that people were FORCING him onto the edge of society, with their rejection of his every attempt to fit in.
Edward leapt from his place and headed down into the city.
SOS: And we end the chapter here.
This is the part that probably has the most…change in beliefs and values. He’s slowly been morphing over the past three chapters, becoming increasingly bitter and angry, but the emotional change from the start of this part to the end is simply enormous. He goes from contemplating SUICIDE because he’d accidentally murdered a repeat rapist to descending upon an unsuspecting city with mass-murder on his mind.
And yet it still WORKS, because we can see where each shift in beliefs comes from, and they’re all consistent with his prior characterisation.
Edward stopped wallowing in his wangst because his internal monologuing was starting to hit dangerously close to the truth (with the realisation that he’s become a vampire), and he doesn’t want to acknowledge that. All throughout this fic, his primary goal has been to reclaim a part of his lost humanity. He CLINGS to whatever semblance of Edward Mason he has left, because the days where he were human were the only times he was HAPPY.
He decided to go into the city in order to prove that his prior realisation wasn’t right. That he hadn’t become a monster. That Reggie was an accident that could be fixed, and he still had a chance of reclaiming his humanity. However, he had a flashback to the first vampire he’d seen outside of Carlisle, because we all know that when Edward talks about becoming a vampire, he doesn’t mean a vampire like Carlisle. He’s talking the “mainstream” kind, like Mantra put it, who think nothing of killing humans. And he’s trying to remember back to her to assure himself that he’s not like her. But this flashback only serves to subtly strengthen the dark side within him, as his anger and frustration at society still remains below his angst at having killed Reggie, and the nomad’s words fuels it. And we see how Edward basically says that she is RIGHT.
The flashback provoked his anger at society back into life, when it had been lying dormant while Edward agonised over Reggie’s murder, and that caused him to go after Froggy. Like he admitted himself, he went after them because he knew he could easily justify beating them up or killing them, because they were criminals. And he went after them because he still needed to vent all the frustration he’s been building at since Chapter 1 at having been rejected and pushed away so much.
And he accepts murder at the end, because if he doesn’t, it means he’d completely lost control and murdered another person when he didn’t mean to. It’d mean he was dangerous. It’d mean he wasn’t better than his instincts. It’d make him an animal and a monster. And he doesn’t want to think that way, because it hurts and it’s far too close to the truth. So when a police officer shows up and starts basically handing him excuses and justifications for what he did, he immediately latched onto that like a drowning man to a piece of straw, because it means he wouldn’t HAVE to acknowledge that he was a slave to his bloodlust.
And he decides on a vigilante lifestyle at the end because deep down, he KNOWS he’s going to want to vent his frustrations against someone who’s not going to be missed sooner or later. He KNOWS he’s going to start craving another hit soon. He KNOWS that he might not be able to go back to an animal diet, and he's too scared of failure (and what failure would imply) to try. He KNOWS this is going to repeat itself, so he’s creating for himself a nice way out of it, and repeats it to himself until he believes his own bullshit.
So, there’s a LOT that changes in Edward’s head in this part, but because she’s an utter GENIUS, he remains in-character, despite being COMPLETELY different to the Edward we’d seen right at the start of this fic.
Despite that, this is possibly one of my least favourite parts of the fic. Because it’s only AFTER I’ve started picking things apart and analysing it line by line that I realised how all of this change was justified. While I was reading it for the first time, things just seemed to happen WAY too fast for me. A lot of information and changes were being thrown at me, and so quickly that I’d hardly gotten use to one mind-frame before Edward went into another.
And I know how hard it is to do this. A gradual slip in morality is hard to write, especially if you only have time to write about two murders (believe me, it’s hard to convince people that a fundamentally good person can become an unrepentant murderer after only two kills). And given what she had, Mrs. Hyde did a GREAT job. And in fact, I can’t even recommend that she slow things down a bit, because really, she has the perfect pacing right now. Any more internal monologues, whether in the city or after the flashback, would have just bogged things down. But when I first read the chapter, I distinctly remember feeling that everything was just too abrupt, and the shift from remorseful!Edward to gleefully-killing!Edward was FAR too fast.
Especially since he’d killed Froggy and his gang for patronising at him, and we hadn’t really seen anyone patronise him since Chapter 1 Part 2. Sure, a lot of people have been NASTY to him, but not once have they been nasty to him SOLELY because he’s young. In fact, they seem to be more concerned about him breaking and entering or being dressed poorly.
Again, I repeat, this is NOT a bad part. I enjoyed it greatly, and you’ve seen how much I rambled on and on about how beautiful it is. It’s just that compared to the utter perfection of the ending of Chapter 2, I felt that this was a step down. And, of course, this is ENTIRELY personal opinion, and very illogical personal opinion at that, considering I’ve just talked all about how every shift in attitude is logical and in-character in this part.
…I should really stop talking about my stupid brain and not liking perfectly good things before I embarrass myself.
See you in the next chapter, where we get to see what Edward has become after this little epiphany and are introduced to his boyfriend.
It’s gonna be FUN.
Go Forward to: Chapter 4 Part 1, Section A
Go Back to: Chapter 3 Part 2, Section C