Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past: Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus: an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dino-bones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators who were awoken by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year; for many were killed!
Meatwad: Boy, this IS a long story you know...maybe I WILL go get somethin' to eat.
Carl: Yeah, I think I'm gonna get drunk while I listen to ya.
Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future: I’m not finished.. YOU should have gotten a snack! A warlike race of elves from the red planet landed on the ice encased earth and they were imminently enslaved by the un-evolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys. Using galactic elfin technology toys were made into recognizable shapes, and given
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Meatwad: Boy, this IS a long story you know...maybe I WILL go get somethin' to eat.
Carl: Yeah, I think I'm gonna get drunk while I listen to ya.
Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future: I’m not finished.. YOU should have gotten a snack! A warlike race of elves from the red planet landed on the ice encased earth and they were imminently enslaved by the un-evolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys. Using galactic elfin technology toys were made into recognizable shapes, and given ( ... )
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