this is pretty much exactly how I figured you'd be feeling now. I think you're holding up as well as can be expected. having no car and being horribly allergic to dogs, I probably can be no real help to you, but if you want to go out sometime when you're in boston, I'm here and can get away any time after 6:30 on weeknights, anytime on weekends.
My experience with deconstruct has not been as extensive as yours is being, but what I have found is that, as the pieces fall away, it does not necessarily mean that they are washed away. There are some people, undoubtedly, who get torn to pieces by life, and remain that way - mere rubble. But I do not see you as one of those. When this period of your life runs its course, eventually you will find yourself looking around, and sorting through the mess, and reassembling yourself. You will not be unchanged, there is no doubt about that. But you will not lose yourself, either. I think I can safely predict that. And that is because, there is something in you, at the core, that does not give up that easily
( ... )
I wish there was something I could say or do that would help. But words are just words, right now, and the demands of my own life make it hard for me to be of any practical help.
I think when you have the time and energy for them again, the pieces that are falling away will return to you, though perhaps changed by what you have experienced. Right now you are being pared down to your essence, because that is the part that is strong enough to face the demands of the present. In the meantime, I'll continue to read, to listen, and to think good thoughts for you.
In the meantime, I offer this quote:
“You go on. You just go on. There’s nothing more to it, and there’s no trick to make it easier. You just go on.”
“What do you find on the other side? When you go on?”
She shrugged. “Your life again. What else?”
“Is that a promise?”
She picked up a pebble, fingered it, and tossed it into the water. The moon-lines bloomed and danced. “It’s an inevitability. No trick. No choice. You just go on.”
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I wish there was something I could say or do that would help. But words are just words, right now, and the demands of my own life make it hard for me to be of any practical help.
I think when you have the time and energy for them again, the pieces that are falling away will return to you, though perhaps changed by what you have experienced. Right now you are being pared down to your essence, because that is the part that is strong enough to face the demands of the present. In the meantime, I'll continue to read, to listen, and to think good thoughts for you.
In the meantime, I offer this quote:
“You go on. You just go on. There’s nothing more to it, and there’s no trick to make it easier. You just go on.”
“What do you find on the other side? When you go on?”
She shrugged. “Your life again. What else?”
“Is that a promise?”
She picked up a pebble, fingered it, and tossed it into the water. The moon-lines bloomed and danced. “It’s an inevitability. No trick. No choice. You just go on.”
Lois McMaster Bujold ( ... )
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Like szandara said, I believe that the pieces of you that you think have washed away are not gone forever, just dormant; they will reappear in time.
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