One, Two, many Mad Skilz!
I apologize for the huge amount of time it has been since I posted anything here. For that I am very sorry, and my only excuse is really… I have been to busy living life to actually sit down and write about it!
So, since this post is a bit of a lengthy one, I have divided it into two sections, kind of like the Kill Bill movies.
And so, this last week, as I have every spring for three years now, I attended the spring Wildfire gathering. I must admit, that I was nowhere near excited about going this spring as I have been other years. There were many factors that contributed to this, but one of the major ones was the fact that over the past year, my Firespinning skills have decreased, rather than increased.
This is mainly due to lack of practice. As any who know me even a little bit are aware, I have many things pressing for my time and attention these days, and so the time I have available to devote to practice my fire skilz, is not much. There also seems to be a hint of tendonitis in my left wrist, which makes some moves painful to do… and it’s not a “good” kind of pain either! Also, the lack of any real firespinning community within a short distance (1 hour drive) is a hindrance. But, be that as it may, this wildfire I was feeling distinctly un-awesome when it comes to my Mad Fire Skilz. Add to that the fact that my two pet projects for this wildfire… a glow rope dart, with rope as well as a dart that glows, and explosive soap bubbles… were both failures in their first versions. And well, you have a distinctly un-enthused Steve.
But, as usual, once I got to wildfire… all was right with the world again! Since my Mad Fire Skilz had declined over the year, I decided that this year I would try something new, and not learn a new skill or buy a new fire toy! Sigh, what a horrid realization… to realize you have too many fire skilz. I thought that one could never have too many fire skilz! But actually, one can’t have too many fire skilz; one can just have not enough time for the fire skilz you have!
So, I gotta’ work on a pill for that problem, like there is a pill for everything else these days. I think that a “temporal extenz” kind of pill would sell well, don’t you? I could use a slogan like “Time-exenz, for natural temporal enhancement!”, and I would have a creepy plastic faced person with a rictus like smile for the spokesperson. I could probably get one of the old Dr. Who’s to do the commercials, and could have a voice-over saying “Talk to The Doctor, about your ‘temporal dysfunction’ today; or better yet, yesterday!” And of course, after a year on the market, I could come out with a new and improved, “time release temporal extendz!” But I digress, a lot…
In the end, I think that my decision to concentrate on re-learning/practicing a few fire skills was a good one; although I must say, I was sore tempted to pick up the flaming contact juggling ball by Trick Concepts. Why? Because it’s a ball of fire you can contact juggle with! Of course, this would then mean I would have to learn contact juggling. But, with great effort of will, I resisted buying the shiny new fire toy. I did buy a few things however… mainly DVDs concerning the various fire toys I already use… perhaps if I watch a staff DVD instead of playing the x-box when I want to just “switch my brain off” for a while, my Fire Skillz will not suffer so much, ya think?
So, instead of learning new stuff, I concentrated on re-learning and improving my already existing skills. Since my skill set is basically Fire-breathing, Rope Dart, Fire Snakes, and the wee beginnings of Staff… the classes I could take were somewhat limited, in an unlimited sort of way. But I still managed to learn a lot! I took some lessons in staff from a wonderful guy named Mooch, who is an awesome juggler, staff spinner and all around great guy, as well as being a kick-ass teacher! And of course, I hung out with Grisha, Gypsy J, and other fire breathers as often as I could. The class in Advanced Fire Breathing was, as usual, disrupted by wind… so, also as usual, that class became a few of us firebreathers hanging out and talking about “If there were no wind, this is how we would do this trick or that trick,” and that was good. I also was given a good exercise to increase my umbra control, so that was good as well.
Of course, in the evenings, I would go out on the field and practice my breathing; doing arcs, stoplights, spirals, passes and other such tricks. After my Friday night firebreathing, Joanne noticed that I was a bit lopsided; I.E my right eyebrow and the right side of my mustache had been singed a bit shorter than my left. So of course, the next night, I practiced my arcs and spirals and such going counter-clockwise rather than clockwise, and after that, my facial hair was once again in balance! So, yay! Never let it be thought that I could perhaps be… unbalanced.
But really, this Wildfire, I took fewer classes than I usually do. Instead of filling every moment of every day with classes, I took a much more relaxed approach to this Wildfire, taking, as I put it, many classes in “advanced hanging out”. I hung out with Grisha a bit, which is a miracle, as he is always on the go. I hung out with Mooch and talked staff stuff, I hung out for a time with a lovely young lady named Twitch. I also finally got to meet Emily in the flesh! We have been orbiting each others social circles and haunting each others facebook/LJ accounts for years now… so it was a pleasure to actually meet her face to face. Also got to meet her lovely friend who goes by the name of Roadkill.
And so the days were filled with classes and hanging out… the evenings were filled with fire, and hanging out, and such diverse entertainments as the Chocolate and Hookah party. When I was not on the field practicing my fire breathing or safteying Joanne or someone else, Joanne and I spent many hours discretely sipping some of my lavender and nettle mead, and watching the fire performers on the field, and in general just hanging out and enjoying each other’s company.
As usual, there were many amazing and talented people, as there are every wildfire, who display their awesomeness on the spinning field. We saw performances like This very talented fan dancer (AJ, from Canada… there is also a sword performer and poi spinner in this video).
Some of the regulars put in appearances as well. The Battle Axe of course was hauled out onto the field and swung around, (the guy is doing a very brave thing, and tossing it in this picture) and such oddities as the The Fire Jump rope also lit up the field and amused both the rope jumpers and on-lookers alike. Once they got the Jump Rope Spinning, it made some very pretty blue swirley patterns in the air, as well as giving an amusing strobe-like effect that silhouetted the person who was jumping at the exact same point in their jump every time.
When there was a lull in firespinning on the field, the “puppet guy” would amuse the crowd with his break dancing LED marionette, or go out on the field with one of his several Fire marionettes. This year the “puppet guy” had a new Marionette, which was supposed to be a dragon I think, but ended up looking a lot like a flaming dachshund when lit. There was an amusing scenario when, for a time, the guy wielding the giant flaming battle axe, was chasing the tiny flaming dachshund around the filed, much to the amusement of the onlookers. But of course, while all the uber-odd and uber-talented people were out spinning and impressing me; I am still equally impressed by people like this Slender and Graceful young woman, who may not have all the trickiest moves, or flashiest outfits (or lack there of), but none the less, amaze me with their grace and poise and obvious love of the art when they get out there and spin, not for the crowd, but just for themselves.
Of course, the Performance class on Sunday night was great as well, with several stunning performances, including this Firesword routine by MCP
, who is a truly gifted object manipulator. And as always, Chad gave a rendition of his famous/infamous Fire Saftey Pee-pee dance. (This video is an older version)
But sadly, all good things must come to an end. And so, Sunday after the performance class, Joanne and I packed up our schtuff and headed home… exhausted, sore, but very very happy.
I of course, had taken the Monday after Wildfire off work, because I need a full day just to recover from my “vacation” to the realm of the fire freaks and flame fairies. But, such was not to be. Monday morning, after Joanne, Marti and I had woken up, drunk a bit of coffee and I was just getting into “relaxed unpacking” mode, I got a phone call. It was from my co-worker Anne, who is one of the few people I work with that deigns to talk to me. Her 16 year old son had just been arrested… basically for being a juvenile delinquent ass-hat. So, Anne had a short-notice mandatory court date as the parent of an arrested juvenile, and no way to get there, as she can’t drive.
So, rather than a relaxing day of recovery, I spent much of Monday in court rooms, and taking a sobbing and very depressed Anne out to lunch, holding her hand a lot and driving her back and forth to her house to get stuff for her kid, who is being sent to a “juvenile work-training camp” sort of thing, or jail if he screws that up by coping an attitude, which he probably will. Relaxing? No, I don’t think so. That evening, after dropping Anne off, I made my way home and collapsed on the bed around 8 PM.
At 11 pm that evening, my mother arrived! So, I got up and we did the greeting, unpacking, chatting and settling in thing that happens when a relative who has driven a long distance arrives. I got to bed around 1 am or so and of course had to wake up at 5:30.
Sooo… I get home from a long and tiring day of work, and both my mother and Marti start talking to me about our bathroom, and what it needs in the way of remodeling. If you remember, last time my mother was here, she decided our kitchen needed new counters, sink, etc, etc? So my mother and Marti went to Home Depot and purchased counter tops, and then had some contractors come out and install them… which was fine, as our kitchen did indeed need new counter tops, but it was left to me to do all the actual re-plumbing and sink installation, which was a pain. But, I do have some Mad Skilz when it comes to controlling water (I.E plumbing). I can set up a misting system for poison dart frogs, or install a kitchen sink!
Well, this time, my mother has decided to take aim at our bathroom, which I will admit, needs work.
So, exhausted and bleary eyed, I sat down after working a full day, and was instantly barraged with color chips, brochures and tile samples. I looked at them, and of course, when asked my opinion on something like the color the new bathtub or toilet should be, I would say “Black, perhaps with gold trim.” My opinion would of course, be quickly dismissed with an “oohh… but that is so hard to keep clean!” from my mother, who would then continue on showing me whatever she had been showing me before.
The one bright moment in this came as my mother and Marti were asking my opinion about toilet seats. You see, I was engaged in a life or death battle near an Oblivion gate on my X-box. I mean, really, who doesn’t get the hint that, when they are talking to you, and you start up your X-box, that perhaps you are not interested in what they are saying!? Ah well. Anyway, I was just about to close a major Oblivion Gate, and my mom asked my opinion on toilet seats. So, when someone asks me what kind of toilet seat I would prefer, I said what I usually say, which is “barbed wire.”
There was a wonderful moment of silence, and then my mother said “I doubt that they would make anything like that.” And I said, yes, they do Here’s proof!, and even if they didn’t, I can.”
That sort of ended the discussion, which was my intent really.
Day the next; I do the ‘get up at god-awful o’clock and go to work’ kind of thing I do most weekdays. But, when I came home from work, I saw an ominous box sitting on the kitchen table… it was full of tiles. I also noticed a box containing a new faucet, a new medicine cabinet, a new light fixture, and another box containing a new toilet seat… not barbed wire sadly.
So, with much trepidation, I asked my mom and Marti what was going on. It was worse than I had thought. My mother had decided that our bathroom needed to be re-done, and so of course went to home depot with Marti, and purchased a new counter top and sink, new flooring, new toilet, new bathtub and shower surround. But, when they inquired about getting a contractor to install all this wonderful new bath-stuff, they were informed that Home Depot does not install bathrooms, nor does this Home Depot currently have any contractors that they work with who install bathrooms.
But did that stop my mom? No… knowing that I can install a kitchen sink, my mom figured it can’t be all that much harder to install a bathroom sink, new toilet and a new tub and shower, and a new floor as well… so, they ordered the stuff anyway.
Yup, that’s right kiddies! In about 2 weeks, a truckload of new bathroom stuff will be deposited on our doorstep, which I will of course, install in my copious spare time! Ummm… right, sure thing. Can someone just shoot me now please?
Don’t get me wrong, I am really, truly and amazingly grateful to my mom for buying all this stuff, and then heading back to Minnesota before it arrived; really I am. And I don’t want anyone to get the impression that my mom just sat around and ordered stuff and did nothing. Far from it! In the week she was here, my mother cleaned and painted both of our front porches, all the windows in the house, painted one side of my garage and pressure washed and stained most of our back deck, as well as did some major cleaning inside on the days when it was raining! It was exhausting just to watch her! In the end, in order to stop her cleaning… I had to resort to treachery! When I came home from work, within an hour my mom would be saying things like “Since we have the light fixture here anyway, perhaps we could install it and get a head start on the bathroom/” or “In a few minutes, perhaps you could help me stain the rear wall of that room in the back, I noticed it could use another coat of stain.”
And so I would say “Ok, I’d like to relax and wind down after work a bit if you don’t mind, I’m going to have a beer, would you like one?” My mom would say “sure”, as she drinks a beer every now and then. So, knowing the beer my mom drinks is typically Heineken or some other 3.2% beer, I would pull a bottle of Curioux out of the fridge and open that. Curioux clocks in at 11% alcohol. So, after a pint of that, and dinner, my mom would start yawning, and then shortly announce that she didn’t know why she was so tired all of a sudden, but she was going to go to bed.
Hallelujah!
So, within a week or two, I will be entering the ninth level of Plumbing Hell, and I still have a huge pile of wood to stack; but that is OK… now that my mom is gone I can get back to working on important things… like Exploding soap bubbles version 2.0!
So, since this post is a bit of a lengthy one, I have divided it into two sections, kind of like the Kill Bill movies.
And so, this last week, as I have every spring for three years now, I attended the spring Wildfire gathering. I must admit, that I was nowhere near excited about going this spring as I have been other years. There were many factors that contributed to this, but one of the major ones was the fact that over the past year, my Firespinning skills have decreased, rather than increased.
This is mainly due to lack of practice. As any who know me even a little bit are aware, I have many things pressing for my time and attention these days, and so the time I have available to devote to practice my fire skilz, is not much. There also seems to be a hint of tendonitis in my left wrist, which makes some moves painful to do… and it’s not a “good” kind of pain either! Also, the lack of any real firespinning community within a short distance (1 hour drive) is a hindrance. But, be that as it may, this wildfire I was feeling distinctly un-awesome when it comes to my Mad Fire Skilz. Add to that the fact that my two pet projects for this wildfire… a glow rope dart, with rope as well as a dart that glows, and explosive soap bubbles… were both failures in their first versions. And well, you have a distinctly un-enthused Steve.
But, as usual, once I got to wildfire… all was right with the world again! Since my Mad Fire Skilz had declined over the year, I decided that this year I would try something new, and not learn a new skill or buy a new fire toy! Sigh, what a horrid realization… to realize you have too many fire skilz. I thought that one could never have too many fire skilz! But actually, one can’t have too many fire skilz; one can just have not enough time for the fire skilz you have!
So, I gotta’ work on a pill for that problem, like there is a pill for everything else these days. I think that a “temporal extenz” kind of pill would sell well, don’t you? I could use a slogan like “Time-exenz, for natural temporal enhancement!”, and I would have a creepy plastic faced person with a rictus like smile for the spokesperson. I could probably get one of the old Dr. Who’s to do the commercials, and could have a voice-over saying “Talk to The Doctor, about your ‘temporal dysfunction’ today; or better yet, yesterday!” And of course, after a year on the market, I could come out with a new and improved, “time release temporal extendz!” But I digress, a lot…
In the end, I think that my decision to concentrate on re-learning/practicing a few fire skills was a good one; although I must say, I was sore tempted to pick up the flaming contact juggling ball by Trick Concepts. Why? Because it’s a ball of fire you can contact juggle with! Of course, this would then mean I would have to learn contact juggling. But, with great effort of will, I resisted buying the shiny new fire toy. I did buy a few things however… mainly DVDs concerning the various fire toys I already use… perhaps if I watch a staff DVD instead of playing the x-box when I want to just “switch my brain off” for a while, my Fire Skillz will not suffer so much, ya think?
So, instead of learning new stuff, I concentrated on re-learning and improving my already existing skills. Since my skill set is basically Fire-breathing, Rope Dart, Fire Snakes, and the wee beginnings of Staff… the classes I could take were somewhat limited, in an unlimited sort of way. But I still managed to learn a lot! I took some lessons in staff from a wonderful guy named Mooch, who is an awesome juggler, staff spinner and all around great guy, as well as being a kick-ass teacher! And of course, I hung out with Grisha, Gypsy J, and other fire breathers as often as I could. The class in Advanced Fire Breathing was, as usual, disrupted by wind… so, also as usual, that class became a few of us firebreathers hanging out and talking about “If there were no wind, this is how we would do this trick or that trick,” and that was good. I also was given a good exercise to increase my umbra control, so that was good as well.
Of course, in the evenings, I would go out on the field and practice my breathing; doing arcs, stoplights, spirals, passes and other such tricks. After my Friday night firebreathing, Joanne noticed that I was a bit lopsided; I.E my right eyebrow and the right side of my mustache had been singed a bit shorter than my left. So of course, the next night, I practiced my arcs and spirals and such going counter-clockwise rather than clockwise, and after that, my facial hair was once again in balance! So, yay! Never let it be thought that I could perhaps be… unbalanced.
But really, this Wildfire, I took fewer classes than I usually do. Instead of filling every moment of every day with classes, I took a much more relaxed approach to this Wildfire, taking, as I put it, many classes in “advanced hanging out”. I hung out with Grisha a bit, which is a miracle, as he is always on the go. I hung out with Mooch and talked staff stuff, I hung out for a time with a lovely young lady named Twitch. I also finally got to meet Emily in the flesh! We have been orbiting each others social circles and haunting each others facebook/LJ accounts for years now… so it was a pleasure to actually meet her face to face. Also got to meet her lovely friend who goes by the name of Roadkill.
And so the days were filled with classes and hanging out… the evenings were filled with fire, and hanging out, and such diverse entertainments as the Chocolate and Hookah party. When I was not on the field practicing my fire breathing or safteying Joanne or someone else, Joanne and I spent many hours discretely sipping some of my lavender and nettle mead, and watching the fire performers on the field, and in general just hanging out and enjoying each other’s company.
As usual, there were many amazing and talented people, as there are every wildfire, who display their awesomeness on the spinning field. We saw performances like This very talented fan dancer (AJ, from Canada… there is also a sword performer and poi spinner in this video).
Some of the regulars put in appearances as well. The Battle Axe of course was hauled out onto the field and swung around, (the guy is doing a very brave thing, and tossing it in this picture) and such oddities as the The Fire Jump rope also lit up the field and amused both the rope jumpers and on-lookers alike. Once they got the Jump Rope Spinning, it made some very pretty blue swirley patterns in the air, as well as giving an amusing strobe-like effect that silhouetted the person who was jumping at the exact same point in their jump every time.
When there was a lull in firespinning on the field, the “puppet guy” would amuse the crowd with his break dancing LED marionette, or go out on the field with one of his several Fire marionettes. This year the “puppet guy” had a new Marionette, which was supposed to be a dragon I think, but ended up looking a lot like a flaming dachshund when lit. There was an amusing scenario when, for a time, the guy wielding the giant flaming battle axe, was chasing the tiny flaming dachshund around the filed, much to the amusement of the onlookers. But of course, while all the uber-odd and uber-talented people were out spinning and impressing me; I am still equally impressed by people like this Slender and Graceful young woman, who may not have all the trickiest moves, or flashiest outfits (or lack there of), but none the less, amaze me with their grace and poise and obvious love of the art when they get out there and spin, not for the crowd, but just for themselves.
Of course, the Performance class on Sunday night was great as well, with several stunning performances, including this Firesword routine by MCP
, who is a truly gifted object manipulator. And as always, Chad gave a rendition of his famous/infamous Fire Saftey Pee-pee dance. (This video is an older version)
But sadly, all good things must come to an end. And so, Sunday after the performance class, Joanne and I packed up our schtuff and headed home… exhausted, sore, but very very happy.
I of course, had taken the Monday after Wildfire off work, because I need a full day just to recover from my “vacation” to the realm of the fire freaks and flame fairies. But, such was not to be. Monday morning, after Joanne, Marti and I had woken up, drunk a bit of coffee and I was just getting into “relaxed unpacking” mode, I got a phone call. It was from my co-worker Anne, who is one of the few people I work with that deigns to talk to me. Her 16 year old son had just been arrested… basically for being a juvenile delinquent ass-hat. So, Anne had a short-notice mandatory court date as the parent of an arrested juvenile, and no way to get there, as she can’t drive.
So, rather than a relaxing day of recovery, I spent much of Monday in court rooms, and taking a sobbing and very depressed Anne out to lunch, holding her hand a lot and driving her back and forth to her house to get stuff for her kid, who is being sent to a “juvenile work-training camp” sort of thing, or jail if he screws that up by coping an attitude, which he probably will. Relaxing? No, I don’t think so. That evening, after dropping Anne off, I made my way home and collapsed on the bed around 8 PM.
At 11 pm that evening, my mother arrived! So, I got up and we did the greeting, unpacking, chatting and settling in thing that happens when a relative who has driven a long distance arrives. I got to bed around 1 am or so and of course had to wake up at 5:30.
Sooo… I get home from a long and tiring day of work, and both my mother and Marti start talking to me about our bathroom, and what it needs in the way of remodeling. If you remember, last time my mother was here, she decided our kitchen needed new counters, sink, etc, etc? So my mother and Marti went to Home Depot and purchased counter tops, and then had some contractors come out and install them… which was fine, as our kitchen did indeed need new counter tops, but it was left to me to do all the actual re-plumbing and sink installation, which was a pain. But, I do have some Mad Skilz when it comes to controlling water (I.E plumbing). I can set up a misting system for poison dart frogs, or install a kitchen sink!
Well, this time, my mother has decided to take aim at our bathroom, which I will admit, needs work.
So, exhausted and bleary eyed, I sat down after working a full day, and was instantly barraged with color chips, brochures and tile samples. I looked at them, and of course, when asked my opinion on something like the color the new bathtub or toilet should be, I would say “Black, perhaps with gold trim.” My opinion would of course, be quickly dismissed with an “oohh… but that is so hard to keep clean!” from my mother, who would then continue on showing me whatever she had been showing me before.
The one bright moment in this came as my mother and Marti were asking my opinion about toilet seats. You see, I was engaged in a life or death battle near an Oblivion gate on my X-box. I mean, really, who doesn’t get the hint that, when they are talking to you, and you start up your X-box, that perhaps you are not interested in what they are saying!? Ah well. Anyway, I was just about to close a major Oblivion Gate, and my mom asked my opinion on toilet seats. So, when someone asks me what kind of toilet seat I would prefer, I said what I usually say, which is “barbed wire.”
There was a wonderful moment of silence, and then my mother said “I doubt that they would make anything like that.” And I said, yes, they do Here’s proof!, and even if they didn’t, I can.”
That sort of ended the discussion, which was my intent really.
Day the next; I do the ‘get up at god-awful o’clock and go to work’ kind of thing I do most weekdays. But, when I came home from work, I saw an ominous box sitting on the kitchen table… it was full of tiles. I also noticed a box containing a new faucet, a new medicine cabinet, a new light fixture, and another box containing a new toilet seat… not barbed wire sadly.
So, with much trepidation, I asked my mom and Marti what was going on. It was worse than I had thought. My mother had decided that our bathroom needed to be re-done, and so of course went to home depot with Marti, and purchased a new counter top and sink, new flooring, new toilet, new bathtub and shower surround. But, when they inquired about getting a contractor to install all this wonderful new bath-stuff, they were informed that Home Depot does not install bathrooms, nor does this Home Depot currently have any contractors that they work with who install bathrooms.
But did that stop my mom? No… knowing that I can install a kitchen sink, my mom figured it can’t be all that much harder to install a bathroom sink, new toilet and a new tub and shower, and a new floor as well… so, they ordered the stuff anyway.
Yup, that’s right kiddies! In about 2 weeks, a truckload of new bathroom stuff will be deposited on our doorstep, which I will of course, install in my copious spare time! Ummm… right, sure thing. Can someone just shoot me now please?
Don’t get me wrong, I am really, truly and amazingly grateful to my mom for buying all this stuff, and then heading back to Minnesota before it arrived; really I am. And I don’t want anyone to get the impression that my mom just sat around and ordered stuff and did nothing. Far from it! In the week she was here, my mother cleaned and painted both of our front porches, all the windows in the house, painted one side of my garage and pressure washed and stained most of our back deck, as well as did some major cleaning inside on the days when it was raining! It was exhausting just to watch her! In the end, in order to stop her cleaning… I had to resort to treachery! When I came home from work, within an hour my mom would be saying things like “Since we have the light fixture here anyway, perhaps we could install it and get a head start on the bathroom/” or “In a few minutes, perhaps you could help me stain the rear wall of that room in the back, I noticed it could use another coat of stain.”
And so I would say “Ok, I’d like to relax and wind down after work a bit if you don’t mind, I’m going to have a beer, would you like one?” My mom would say “sure”, as she drinks a beer every now and then. So, knowing the beer my mom drinks is typically Heineken or some other 3.2% beer, I would pull a bottle of Curioux out of the fridge and open that. Curioux clocks in at 11% alcohol. So, after a pint of that, and dinner, my mom would start yawning, and then shortly announce that she didn’t know why she was so tired all of a sudden, but she was going to go to bed.
Hallelujah!
So, within a week or two, I will be entering the ninth level of Plumbing Hell, and I still have a huge pile of wood to stack; but that is OK… now that my mom is gone I can get back to working on important things… like Exploding soap bubbles version 2.0!