Coming to realize...

[sotis]

Now I know: Whenever Ronja doesn't do what I ask her to, I feel bad. Now I know: I feel rejected.
*sigh*
Back to setting up clothes on the drying rack while my daughter is upstairs at Oli's place playing with his Lego pieces..

Comments

[anabell_moore]

Sweetheart, I don't know what to say other than what I said yesterday. This is her "terrible twos/terrible threes" stage. It absolutely does not mean you are a bad parent. You shouldn't feel rejected. She's just growing and changing, as young children do. You know very well that she missed you incredibly when you were here.

[sotis]

Like I just told tylure, I have come to accept that 'terrible 2/3' phase. Thanks to you, in part, since we talked about it. But this time it was about her spending a lot of time with Oli instead of me. I try to accept it, see it as something positive, but it can be tough.

[tylure]

All kids go through a phase where they test the limits of what they can get away with. Right now, Elisabeth, who is almost 4, is very fond of telling people no when they ask her to do things (and it seems I am the only one who gets on to her for telling her parents no, which disturbs me). Nathaniel said no a lot, too, though he'd usually do whatever he was asked to do anyway (the exception usually has been eating what he doesn't want to eat, which randomly changes), which I found strange. Ben (almost 3) just plain doesn't do anything anyone asks, ever.

Part of it is probably because you don't have her full time, and so she probably thinks it will be easier to get away with things. All children do this...it isn't anything you've done.

[anabell_moore]

I'm glad you chimed in. I don't have any personal experience in this, so I can't really say a whole lot.

[sotis]

Thank you for your input. I am aware of that. It's hard to accept that, but I try to deal with it. I talked about it at length with T and that was already helpful.
But this one post was not about her saying no. I feel bummed that, in those two days she spends with me each week, if at all that much, she stays upstairs at Olis a whole lot. I try to accept that as well, see it as positive, since it shows she makes friends easily...
When I wrote that post I had just asked her to do something with me and instead she went upstairs.. therefore the feeling of being rejected.

[anabell_moore]

You remember us saying to each other that we need to be open and honest? Well...(I'm not getting on your case, just pointing out that) you didn't clue me in to the whole Oli thing. Not that my input would have been any different since I have such limited experience, but I would have understood a little better. Babies don't like me...I always feel rejected around them because they never want me, so in that respect I can actually relate somewhat to the way you are feeling. Granted I don't have a child of my own so I don't know the entirety of the pain associated with it, but having my nephews reject me for five years of their lives was enough that I can partially empathize. I love you sweetheart, and remember you just have to let her do her own thing with no expectations. You and I both know all about expectations and why we shouldn't make any. I love you sweetheart, and this will pass, just as our time being apart will.

[shelynx]

Darn you! I wish you'd start posting again!!!! ARGH!