[notes] tl;dr on Yakuza AU
The tl;dr Notes on Yakuza AU [Akame].
Thanks for the ride! I absolutely adored writing for this universe, and especially, all of the nice comments I received. :D Their story is over, but there are so many little details, so many little scenes I have stored in my mind, between the lines, or in a little document on my hard drive called yakuzauasdd.txt. So maybe when I’m bored, there will be some sidestories!
On that note, that’s exactly sort of what these were supposed to be. Little stories from the same universe that didn’t have to be connected. So that they’d be fun and easy for me to write. After “Thanks,” though, it sort of warped into a multi-part with a weird posting chronology (Sorry). So it’s hard to say this is a chaptered fic bc “Bullet” and “Thanks” have little to do with the storyline, but at the same time are important bc they were the basis for characterization, etc.
Uhh, so about the chronology! I wanted to try not posting linearly. Well, mostly bc it was easiest for me to write it that way (and I was convinced that this wasn’t a multi-part so I could post it as I went--), but. I don’t know! I think though, that if you want to read the story the way it’s meant, then you should probably read them in the order I posted them. But reading them in chronological order would help to understand the little details (ex: Kamenashi’s reaction to Akanishi talking about crossword puzzles in “Absence! (makes the heart grow fonder).”).
Btw, the order is “Bullet”/”Thanks,” “Important Things,” “dream a Dream,” “Absence! (makes the heart grow fonder),” and finally “Okaeri.” I’m not sure which comes first, “Bullet” or “Thanks,” so uh. Sorry! ...here’s a chart.
-38-28 “Bullet” / “Thanks”
-24 “Important Things”
-23 “dream a Dream”
-18 “Absence! (makes the heart grow fonder)”
0 Okaeri
Where -18 means 18 months before “Okaeri” and -24 means 24 months before “Okaeri.” The entirety spans anywhere from just beyond three years to a little bit underneath.
All right, beginning with “Bullet”-first the style is by far my favorite. Just gotta say. It was sth I tried to replicate in the others (partially why I wrote them) even though I don’t feel like I succeeded. Anyway, at the end-Jin. Jin feels sth for Kame. But he’s a little unclear as to whether Kame feels sth too. Well, he’s 60 to 70% sure, but he knows that even if Kame does feel sth too, he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. Bc he knows Kame and he can’t expect anything from him. Bc he’s Kame.
“Thanks.” Kame is super-confused. Not that he shows it at all-he’s very adamant about his excuses. Jin’s unhappy with the job, makes a passing comment about clubs and BJs (look, he loves Kame, but Kame doesn’t love him back, okay? He’s still a guy and basically convinced a relationship won’t work), and Kame thinks to himself that he’ give Jin a BJ bc-
It’ll calm him down. Sex with Jin. That’s sort of it. He also thinks it’ll make Jin happy.
Bc Kame is a really guilty-feeling person. He feels guilty all the freaking time. “But why does he use Jin like that! ):” Bc he’s convinced Jin doesn’t mind, convinced that it sort of helps him to (as of now, Kame doesn’t suspect Jin’s feelings, probably bc he’s a self-centered dick). Kame’s guilty later with the Fuji guy. He’s guilty later when he dreams of Jin. He’s guilty when the chick catches him and Jin together, guilty when he thinks Jin is missing school for him, guilty when Jin finally says out loud how much of an ass he is-you get the idea.
Not to say that he shouldn’t be. He’s a jerk (wow I think really highly of yakuza!Kame).
Kame has issues with Jin saying “Kazuya.” Jin, even though he doesn’t think Kame could possibly act on his feelings, is bad at hiding his own (the cheek-kissing thing-sort of a faux pas).
Uh, but Kame, even though he knows now. That Jin feels sth-I mean. He’s been a self-centered loser up until this point, but really, he just needed a nudge to really understand what was going on. Kame pretends that Jin doesn’t feel anything (which is sort of between the lines / not referenced at all in these fics). Even though he does begin to see things, how oddly devoted Jin is to him, he makes excuses for it, for Jin. He reminds himself that Jin gives his heart to everyone and clubs and parties and has sex with girls. But it is always in the back of his mind from that point on, bc even though on the surface he’s convinced that stuff is true, it’s really not. Uh. Idk if this makes sense anymore. I mean it seems so stupid but there you go. Human nature, perhaps. :| Completely illogical.
Onto “Absence!” At this point, Kame’s been in Kobe for about six months! He hasn’t spoken to Jin since the night before leaving Tokyo. But he does think about him an awful lot (unconsciously).
“...blowing smoke rings like Jin taught him to...”
Later, he calls Jin impulsively. There really is no reason for it except for maybe an unbearable restfulness. This was supposed to sort of parallel that six-month cold period that had, where they fought over sth stupid and sort of picked things back up forgetting what they’d fought about. SO in this, Jin’s glad that Kame bothered to call him (he thought that was all over with) and vice versa, so things are simple. Kinda.
Jin’s actually been thinking of Kame too, rehearsing what he would say to Kame if Kame called. Kame doesn’t want to know that Jin missed him. ):
Kame freaks out at crossword puzzles and “I wanted to be with you” bc it reminds him of his dream.
The pianist thing-a reference to Kame always freaking out over dying. Or whatever. Except now Jin’s not there to save him, and in his experience in Kobe, he’s never been that close to death, and it floods back, how he needs Jin.
And then Jin is there, and Kame knows, admits to himself. His dream. He needs Jin, loves Jin, even, bc look at how dedicated Jin is to him, so dedicated that even Kame understands. Being with Jin reminds him of being alive, etc etc etc.
The ending to this part is my fave bc it connects direction to the ending of “dream a Dream.” :D
I really liked writing “dream a Dream.” I mean, I’m not sure how obvious of a dream it was, but there were definitely weird little hints. Like Kame knowing an answer to the crossword puzzle without looking at it or knowing the question, the smiley faces, the turtles and a flooded backseat and talking after Jin shoots him in the face.
In the dream, Jin is supposed to kill Kame. And Kame is freaked out by that (at the end of his dream, when he wakes up) bc Jin is. Jin. It’s only been a month since Tokyo so Kame still remembers very clearly how Jin is to him. And in the dream Jin said he wants to be with Kame, and to have that all sort of be a lie is like betrayal.
And of course, Jin wakes up at the exact same time as Kame and wonders about him. They haven’t talked, you know, but they think about each other, not even consciously. They don’t want to, I think, but it sort of happens. That’s the effect they have on one another. :D
Kame thinks that the dream means transition. Which it does, but not what he thinks. It’s not away from Jin completely, but more toward like. Independence. Like. Not needing Jin for every little thing like a baby, I guess.
“Important things.” Aka, why Kame left and Jin didn’t! Finally! You get to find out! You were supposed to read them in the order I posted and go WHAT IS GOING ON. WHY DID KAME LEAVE. I AM SOOO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT FIC. Anyway, it starts out with a job and Kame is being lol and super jealous and confused, unconsciously. Bc consciously he doesn’t think about the fact Jin likes him. Rolls eyes.
Kame’s struggling with himself, how he wants Jin, and why. He’s trying to end his “work-related” dependence but it’s hard. Bc when things go wrong he wants Jin.
Uhh, Jin talks about the “What’s your type?” thing because he’s trying to draw Kame out because he suspects his jealousy.
Idk, imo their argument doesn’t make sense. Kame just really wants Jin with him somewhere new and unfamiliar (/everywhere and all the time) and his world kind of collapses when he finds out that’s no going to happen. In which case he turns into the biggest douche ever and tries to say that university is worthless and that Jin is throwing his life away. Which is over-exaggerated and not true because Jin really doesn’t lose anything by going to school. He’s still going to be under Takki, still doing jobs, just like, you know, multi-tasking without Kame around. And Jin’s not as crazy as Kame so he sees this, that there’s no problem, because he’s not meant for Kobe but Kame is.
Anyway, Jin gets pissed off that Kame’s just a dick, so he sort of snaps, because Kame isn’t giving a shit about him. Which would like. You know. Hurt. If you liked a guy and he didn’t give a shit about you.
So that’s it, he thinks. Kame’s gonnna go to Kobe and they’re never going to speak again (but you know they do! And that they make up!). So he confesses.
“Okaeri!” Two years since Tokyo. Eighteen months since Jin was in Kobe. There’s a flashback to the hospital, after Kame kisses Jin (which is where “Absence!” ended if you’ve been paying attention)! Which was sort of hard to transition into so I apologize if it was confusing. SFsdfdfa.
Um, so they have sth. At the hospital, they both know they have sth. But they are growing separately, and so being together can wait. Because hell, it’s been forever already. And Jin’s not going to put down university for Kobe and Kame’s not putting down Kobe for Tokyo. Which is what transition is all about! To apart-ness, but not really. To growing up. Or sth.
Anyway, Kame comes back and in romantic fashion they are still hopelessly in love and there is a passionate love scene. And everything is perfect because they have understanding and no unfinished business and Kame has transformed into this better person.
And then everything is full-circle at the end.
LOL, these notes are really long. I am the rambliest person ever. Um. There’s more. Stuff never mentioned. Because I wrote things in not knowing whether I would use them in the future or whether I would use them as plot decides (matching rings down the storm drain). And stuff that you don’t know about (like their first job together, how they met, what happens after all of this). There is a lot!
Questions. Comments. Congratulations for making it to like word #1billion.
2008.01.30