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[soul_of_fire81]

so it's Christmas eve.....santa doesn't exist so what's the big deal? oh right...family (crazy bastards) presents (that you really can't afford) and of course...the birth of Christ (same story every year) it all just gets kinda played out. Do we really need all these socks? or does my dad really like that shitty ass tie that my mom got him? damn i

Comments

[apclife2]

amen to that sistah! fuck the holidays. its a just a bunch of fake christmas spirit with the thought that some middle aged over weight man is gonna come sliding down your chimney. everyones out shoping buying gifts for people they probably dont care about, that some poor asian made in some factory in taiwan for 9 cents a day that my buddy faught to save in vietnam when now hes only got one leg and is unemployed and homeless becuase the government he faught was too fucking cheap to get him that bullet proof vest that he swore that he might need.

[wicked_twisted]

You're both right. Christmas is such a weird mix of emotions when you're older. Little kids having nothing to think about though, and I envy them for that.

Merry Christmas, folks.

PS.
I'm Santa Claus. I know, I know. I'm not fat and jolly. Well, the truth is, Mrs. Claus recently left me. Turns out she was fucking Papa Elf every night for the past 40 years. That damn elf may be 549 years old, but according to Mrs. Claus, "...he can fuck all night long. Something your fat ass could never do." God damn elf. So after I found out she was cheating on me, I got beligerantly drunk and killed all of the elves. Then I drank nothing but vodka for 4 weeks straight. And I didn't eat one freakin' thing. That's why I lost a lot of weight. Needless to say, no one is getting fucking presents from me this year. Instead, I have decided to work as a picture-Santa at a mall in Minnesota, where I will fuck all of my hot little Santa's-little-helper elf girls on my break. Ho, ho, ho.