(fic) Beg Your Pardon; Part VI
Title; Beg Your Pardon
Fandom; Super Junior/Girl's Generation
Pairings; eventual Kyuhyun/Sooyoung, Sungmin/Sooyoung, Kyuhyun/Yoona
Rating; T
Summary; Kyuhyun tries not to fall (even more) in love. Sooyoung doesn't know what to do (with her heart). Sungmin knows more than he lets on. Yoona didn't mean to get involved in this. It's like some cliché Korean drama.
PART VI; Expect
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Sungmin doesn't know what to expect anymore.
He's walking out of Chunji broadcast station after saying goodbye to Sunny (there might have a longing glance, a hug that lasted too long) when Sooyoung pulls him into the nearby alleyway and promptly crushes her lips on his.
It's not not pleasant, but at the same time it's disconcerting.
(Sungmin doesn't bother to wonder why.)
He kisses back, but something about the way she presses up against him makes him feel that this is supposed to something special, that it needs to be something special.
Sungmin is right when Sooyoung pulls away, tears in her eyes.
"Why doesn’t it feel the same?” she whispers harshly, her face pale.
Sungmin grips her shoulders, his dark eyes searching hers concernedly.
“Sooyoung-ah? What’s going on?” he asks gently.
She shakes her head, quietly sobbing. Sooyoung buries her face in his neck, mumbling incoherent words.
All Sungmin can make out is sorry and Kyuhyun.
He’s not surprised, he doesn’t feel betrayed; actually, he doesn’t feel anything at all.
“What happened?”
Suddenly she pushes him away, a fierce, hard look on her face.
“Why isn’t this working?” she bursts out, her eyes wild. “Why isn’t there anything between us? What happened? There used to be sparks, fireworks, all those clichés and more; now I don’t feel anything! What’s wrong with me?” Sooyoung whispers the last question, as if she’s too scared to realize she’s had the answer all this time.
Sungmin stares at her with an unreadable expression on his face, before he chuckles wryly.
“Kyuhyun” his voice is unassuming, as if he just knows.
Sooyoung’s eyes widen.
“H-how-”
“I’m not blind, Soo. I know my dongsaeng. And I know how he feels about you” Sungmin says, devoid of any anger.
Sooyoung shakes her head, as if trying to force herself to deny what’s right in front of her eyes.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re my boyfriend. I-I made a stupid, stupid mistake but it won’t ever happen again because - because I love you, not - not Kyuhyun. I’m just - we’re just in a place where everything’s going too smoothly and maybe - I just needed something to knock some sense into me - I’m supposed to be with you-”
“Stop”
Sungmin’s voice cuts through her distressed rambling. Sooyoung trembles, the weight of the guilt threatening to crush her. Sungmin lets out a labored breath.
“Do you even hear yourself?” he looks at her incredulously. “It’s like you’re forcing yourself to be with me”
“I’m not!” Sooyoung cries out desperately.
Sungmin fixes her with a hard stare.
“Yes, you are” he gives her a small, apologetic smile. “And maybe I’m doing the same with you”
Sooyoung reels back.
“W-what are you talking about?”
Sungmin can see the way she’s trying, trying so hard to save this, them. But not all relationships work. You try to fit, try to match, but it’s not enough. Maybe for a while, you can see past the flaws, ignore the cracks in the foundation and pretend it’s in perfect condition. But sooner or later, you realize everything’s crumbling. You might attempt to rebuild it, save it, but it’s not enough.
Sometimes, you just have to let go.
“What are we doing here, Soo? It’s getting harder and harder being around each other, as if we have to, not because we want to”
“That’s not true” she says in a small voice, but Sungmin ignores her.
“Don’t you see? Whatever’s happened - whatever’s happening - it’s not the only reason we’re like this! I don’t know how to say this but - we’ve been growing apart for a long time, and I think I’ve known that for a while. Maybe…maybe we should go back to being just friends”
Sooyoung closes her eyes, tears burning at the back of her throat. Everything she didn’t want (or did she?) is coming true before her very eyes.
“This isn’t supposed to be happening” she murmurs, so dejectedly Sungmin wishes that they weren’t. “We were supposed to be the perfect couple. We were supposed the poster child for the idol couple. We weren’t -” her voice breaks. “- we weren’t supposed to fall apart”
Sungmin sighs, before pulling Sooyoung into a comforting hug.
“I know, Soo” he whispers in her hair. “I know. We were supposed to be everything everyone wanted us to be. And we were. For a while. But…we can’t keep doing this to ourselves. It’s not fair to force us to be together, it’s not fair to stop us from being with who we really want to be with. Besides, haven’t you noticed our pranks have become less original and less awesome since we got together?”
Sooyoung giggles, and punches him on the shoulder, and for the first time in a long time, Sungmin feels like he’s with his best (girl) friend again. Sooyoung gives him a brilliant smile.
“Why does this feel more like a bromance than a break-up?”
Sungmin laughs. He gently wipes her tear tracks away, before slinging an arm around her shoulders.
“Because -” he starts almost philosophically. “- you’re releasing so much testosterone that it’s polluting the air around us”
Sooyoung simply punches him again, her eyes sparkling with laughter.
“Only because your ovaries are falling out!”
It feels so much like old times (before their hormones got in the way, before Sooyoung realized Kyuhyun had the most beautiful voice in the world, before Sungmin saw Sunny smile) that Sungmin wonders why they ever gave it up.
Sungmin looks at the beautiful girl with the loud laugh beside him, and thinks about the quiet boy with the big heart in his room, and knows everything will turn out okay in the end.
He’ll make sure of it.
“What happen when SM finds out we broke up?”
“…they’ll just make Jonghyun and Amber hook up, call them the dinosaur couple and leech off their popularity. No biggie”
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Part 7