you can tell he'll be there (for life)
yonghwa/seohyun
pg-13, 445w
seohyun holds her breath, crosses her fingers and always, always hopes for the best.
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seohyun holds her breath, crosses her fingers and always, always hopes for the best.
it's not practical and she's sure that most of the time it doesn't work, but she's always allowed herself moments of whimsical thought to balance her pragmatism out. it's only right, seohyun thinks, because moderation has always been the key.
but these days she's been holding her breath so often the lack of oxygen to her brain is making her heart swell twice its normal size.
normal is important. normal is essential. normal is safe, routine - something that seohyun thrives on. normal keeps her grounded and focused, never wavering from her endgame.
but this isn't. this as in her lungs seizing up in an attempt to keep the air inside of her, her heart lurching, stumbling almost painfully, her soul seeing and feeling and wanting things that she knows (thinks) she can't give it.
seohyun can't explain it, but she thinks it has something to do with the way yonghwa smiles and the hair that falls into his eyes whenever he laughs.
they're not even married anymore - they're not supposed to be connected in any way. but that doesn't stop yonghwa from texting her at odd hours of the night, little messages like yong is missing our hyun ~ or you better be practising guitar!, or dragging her out on her free days to obscure little cafes and making her try weird food (that actually turn out to be quite nice).
she tells him this one day, that this isn't normal, that this isn't what she had expected and that she doesn't understand why they're still like this.
"like what?" yonghwa has this tiny little smirk, the one he has when he knows something that she doesn't, the one he knows annoys the shit out of her.
seohyun flushes under his gaze, and she can feel her heart seizing up again.
"like - " her voice is small, and yonghwa reaches over to touch the inside of her wrist. "- like we're still together, together."
yonghwa chuckles, raising an eyebrow as he thumbs circles around her pulse. it makes her shiver and lose focus, and seohyun never loses focus.
"we can be," his eyes are dark, glittering like precious stones that haven't been discovered yet. "if you want. this can be normal, if you want it to be."
he puts his hand in hers, but seohyun is the one that laces their fingers together. she smiles, shy at first, before it blooms into a wide grin that stretches over her teeth and presses dimples into her skin.
"yeah," she murmurs. "i do."
it feels like she can finally breathe.
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