I really like the melody. I think that is the key to writing a great piece. Unless you can come up with a pleasing sound it doesn't matter how it is arranged. You managed to do both: it is a great melody and the accompaniment is solid and not forced. It reminds me of Jerry Goldsmith's writing for the movie Poltergeist. The only place I would play with the arrangement (not as a correction, but to hear the effect) is replacing the dotted quarter notes in the strings with straight eighth notes, since it seems that you are going for that off-beat music box syncopation, which is basically an eighth feel. I like it alot. I love the simplicity. Listen to some Bach "Inventions" and slow it down in your head. It should be playable at a slower tempo. Also, get some Chopin nocturnes & preludes, some Ravel (Pavane pour une infante defunte) and Debussy piano pieces (clair de lune) and Eirk Satie (gymnopedie) and listen for the simple melody (sometimes their arrangements are complicated, but the basic melody is simple
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