Mission Voyager (Part Ten)

[soulmatecest]

-Part Ten-
(Jensen)

They never really have the talk. The “I’m staying” talk after the night they share Jared’s favorite food together and Jared looks so happy about it that Jensen can’t stop thinking about his smile for days.

Jared’s doesn’t say anything. He just…stays.

Which is exactly what Jensen wanted all along.

Jensen kept on thinking as days went by-and Jared kept getting better-about the idea of living all alone. Watching Jared go would be too much to handle. Jared lives with him now, here, on Earth. They share rooms. Jensen keeps a human hidden in his place, this is his life now and Jensen doesn’t want to change that. He has the chance to help Jared and he’s going to.

It's funny to think that Danneel wanted Jensen to make more friends and be more social.

And then Jensen went and did exactly that. With a human. If he could only tell that one to Danneel. Jensen is sure it would be his best joke on Earth by far.

Jared’s attitude is all the indication Jensen needs as prove that he won’t go anywhere, and even though Jensen would really appreciate a verbal confirmation, he’ll take what he can get. He has learned that going on at slow pace and giving Jared his time always brings back good results.

Jared starts asking Jensen to bring him things for his room, small stuff here and there to decorate. Jared wanted to know if it was still possible to buy things online, which apparently it is and Jensen didn't know until then, so he gives Jared his laptop and lets him go wild ordering things to decorate his room. Jared gets new shelves they have to put up together, a couple plants Jared insist he wants to take care of. He also fills his room with photos and drawings of the planets and galaxies Jensen has talked about, hanging them close to his bed.

Jensen has been thinking of getting Jared a new computer and see if they can find some video game that Jared won't find absolutely boring like he does with shifter movies and series. Jared keeps on insisting that video games with a little bit of drama or terror were the best ones, but as much as he tries to explain Jensen why, he never seems to get it.

Jared helps to clean around the house, takes care of the plants they now have in the rooms and living room-considering he can’t do any gardening on the plants around the house-and is also starting to watch videos on the computer to learn to cook different meals. He makes a list of the ingredients he’ll use the next time he’s going to cook and Jensen makes sure to get them all at the store. The cashiers who work at the store close to Jensen’s house-and are there to scan the products to keep inventory and help costumers pack their groceries-are convinced that he’s taking cooking classes.

Jensen, on his part, starts getting used to his job again. He’s back on track working with his patients and chatting with his coworkers whenever is necessary. He doesn’t have lunch with all the other healers as before though. Sometimes he looks for excuses to go to his office so he can call Jared in peace, who knows the number of Jensen’s office by now and recognizes it whenever Jensen calls.

Jared usually answers on speaker phone, always doing something different. Sometimes he’s vacuuming, sometimes he’s changing or adding something new to his room, other times he's cooking or watching TV. He usually asks about Jensen’s day and makes him talk about all the specifics of the procedures with his patients.

And somedays Jared makes little requests for Jensen. What he wants for dinner that night, maybe asking Jensen if he can go rent a movie or go get him something new to add to his room.

Jensen has to admit, he’s getting pretty bad at saying “no” to Jared. It’s almost impossible when he knows the smile Jensen will get in return if he makes Jared happy.

There’s nothing like the satisfaction of making Jared feel a little bit more at home.

That’s probably what pushes him to do it. He has been going to the library just as much as before, but now to get Jared books instead of medicine literature for himself. Mrs. Ferris is just as helpful as always, not suspecting a thing form Jensen’s sudden change of taste in books, going from anatomy to space history.

“Jensen!” She waves at him from the counter as soon as Jensen walks in, closing the door behind him and leaving his umbrella at the entry. It started pouring down when he was on his way there, but lucky Jensen has been carrying a big coat with him all day. Funny enough, the coat was not taken in case of a storm, but because Jensen had planned to come to the library since he work up that morning.

“Hi, Mrs. Ferris. Busy day?” Jensen takes a glance around, finding different tables full of shifters concentrated in their reading.

“Yes, darling. Whenever it rains, everyone wants to come in here to spend the time.” She gives him a nice smile, patting his hand. “Did you just leave the Hospital? You healers work so hard for the community.”

Samantha Ferris likes him. Jensen is no good when it comes to understanding human things like how to behave when one of them is mad at you or how to interpret their irony in some of their comments. He still doesn’t know if he’s interpreting Jared correctly half the time and he always has to ask to make sure. Jensen is an expert on human bodies, but that’s it. Beyond that, he doesn’t know a thing.

But this? Shifters? Oh, shifters Jensen gets.

He has lived among them in different planets for more years than he cares to count. He has seen shifters meet their life partners, has seen others get kindly rejected and has also attended different types of marriages all across the Universe.

So he knows. Jensen is aware that Mrs. Ferris seems to have a sweet spot for him. And while he’s not interested to know if it’s because he might remind her of someone special-like a son-or because she has some kind of crush on him, it would be silly to take that attraction for granted.

And that’s bad. That’s really bad. Jensen shouldn’t somehow use that something Mrs. Ferris feels for him and use it for any kind of advantage. That’s human behavior, shifters don’t do that. Usually, Jensen would never do this.

But. Jared.

“You still haven’t found the book I returned the other week?” Jensen leans into the counter, letting out a worried sigh. Jared said learning to lie when Jensen is hiding a human is key for it to work out, and while Jensen is not completely comfortable with the idea of constantly lying and Jared isn’t the master of lies either, he has been giving Jensen some pointers on how to make a lie believable. “I can’t believe I just came and left it back on the shelf when I know I have to let you register it again. I feel so bad, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Jensen, please.” Samantha bats one hand in the air, smiling. “Honey, it's fine. I’m sure it’s somewhere in here. Sometimes when the books look like they are falling apart because they are really old we take them down to fix them up, leave them good as new. I’m sure it’s there. And we have another three copies of that one book, so you’re fine.”

It’s the history book. The one he had been reading in the parking lot the night Jared crashed in his house. Weirdly enough, Jensen felt something about that book and Jared. It had human handwriting on it and Jensen found it at the same time Jared found his house. Giving the book back could make it end in the banned pile. It's stupid, but it made him think of Jared. As if making the book end in the banned section was like giving Jared away to the Collectors.

There was nothing wrong with the book, only a couple phrases written in ink. Just like there was nothing wrong with Jared.

They could both stay with Jensen.

That’s why Jensen is sure Mrs. Ferris is not going to find the book now or ever. It’s currently in one of the shelves in Jensen’s room and it won’t be coming back to the library anytime soon.

“I feel terrible, I really do. It’s like I lost it after you let me take it home.” A white lie, thinks Jensen. A white lie that won’t hurt anyone. It’s just a book. “Is there anything I can do? Maybe if you let me try to find it?”

Samantha clicks her tongue, shaking her head and giving him another smile. How nice, she must be thinking. What a good guy, is the opinion Samantha must have of him. Jensen wonders if Mrs. Ferris would like him at all if she knew Jensen has a human back home.

That he’s currently lying to her just for that human.

“Or maybe you can let me bring you another book in exchange? I have some favorites back at home, I’m sure one of them would do good in here-”

“Oh no, honey, please keep your books.”

Someone who also works in the library calls for her in that moment, waving a hand in the air. Jensen has seen the guy in there a couple times but doesn’t really know his name.

“Oh, we are just starting a book club and is time for the discussion.” Samantha looks down at the watch on her wrists before glancing back at Jensen, who tries to put on his best guilty face. He’s sure that if Jared was there he would be laughing his ass off. “Oh, alright. Do you really feel that guilty? I swear it's fine.”

“I lost it.” Jensen nods. “I feel terrible.”

“You healers are too good. I keep telling that to everybody.” She sighs, starting to look for something in the drawers behind the counter. She opens and closes two of them before bending over to take what she's looking for. It’s an ID card with her name and a picture. Pretty much the same one Jensen carries around in the Hospital. Jensen's own ID card opens different doors like his office and the cabinet where they keep medicine and surgery supplements. The one Mrs. Ferris has must open all the doors in the library. “Even among us, healers are the core of our society. You are always looking out for all of us. Such a giving job and such wonderful shifters.”

Jensen smiles, feeling truly flattered.

But the feeling doesn’t compare to how hard his heart is beating as he eyes the card-key Samantha is holding.

“I love my job and I’m glad you think that way  of us. You flatter me, Samantha.”

Mrs. Ferris blushes at his answer, so perhaps she doesn’t think of him as a son. Jensen knows shifters really admire healers, his grandfather was a living prove of that. Jensen remembers being just a kid and seeing the admiration in everyone’s eyes whenever his grandfather walked into any room.

Shifters usually feel more attracted to healers because they have a caring and giving job. The purest the shifter, the more attractive they are to others. She must think that way of Jensen too.

Samantha Ferris has no idea.

The guy from before calls her name again and she nods repeatedly, pressing her card to Jensen’s hand and giving it a little squeeze.

“Go down the stairs behind the counter, honey. Try to look for the book in the first room on the right, that’s where we keep the ones that need fixing. You’re truly a gentleman, Jensen.”

He waits until she’s out of sight, watching her walk towards the other shifter who gives Jensen a friendly smile. Jensen nods in rerturn, not moving an inch until they have both disappeared after a big bookshelf.

The basement of the library is the exact example of how shifters would try to change something that had been constructed and previously owned by humans. The doors are automatic, opening as soon as they recognize the chip in Samantha’s card. The walls are made out of concrete and the stairs look really old, even if it seems like the have been painted in white recently. Shifters tried to make the basement look a little bit more cozy and new, but it still has that human vibe down there.

Jensen likes it.

He goes all the way down, checking the walls and the ceiling, looking for any cameras. It would be silly to have one of them at a library. This is owned by shifters. Jared said all kind of places used to have security cameras, mostly to make sure no client nor employee tried to steal something. Shifters don’t think that way. Nobody steals because it’s wrong. And of course, nobody needs to steal when you can get anything you want for free.

But Jensen isn’t sure, maybe they kept some of those security cameras around, yet a quick look around the basement lets Jensen know it doesn’t seem like they did.

The basement he descends into doesn’t seem as big as he expected, and the door Mrs. Ferris talked about is right by the end of the stairways along with a white sign that reads “book repair” in golden letters over the doorframe. There’s no way Jensen could get lost.

But he doesn’t have any interest in checking that room.

He throws a quick glance at the other three doors down there. Only one of them has a scanner like the one Jensen found at upstairs, so he guesses that’s the one he’s looking for. The other two are probably where Samantha and the other employees eat and enjoy their breaks. Maybe one of them could be Samantha’s office. It doesn’t matter. Jensen only cares for the one locked down.

He can hear a voice call “bingo” in his head when he gets to the end of the room and stops in front of the black door. It has a small plate next to the scanner that reads “For authorized personal only.” They have one of those at the hospital too, next to the cabinets with strong medicines. The sign in the hospital is there only in case a shifter who's not a healer but finds the door will understand they are not supposed to take anything from there.

Or, in this case, the sign is there so any lost shifter who ends in the library's basement won't go in.

Too bad he’s not lost at all.

Jensen passes the card in front of the scanner and for a long moment, nothing happens. That’s when it occurs to Jensen that maybe it won’t work, maybe not even Mrs. Ferris is authorized to go in there. What if there’s an alarm somewhere on the first floor as soon as someone tries to go in? How’s Jensen going to explain going inside a place he’s clearly not supposed to be in?

The flickering red light of the scanner goes bright green just when Jensen is considering turning back and going into the repairing room where he’s supposed to be. Jensen hears a clicking noise behind the door and it slides open right before his eyes a second later.

He drops the card to the floor once he can see the inside of the room.

Now he understands why the basement looks so small at first when you go downstairs. All the missing space is here. Shifters probably added the walls that separate this room from the rest.

The huge basement you would expect from such a big library is right there, locked behind an automatic door that only authorized shifters can pass.

Rows and rows of books. Jensen doesn’t think he has ever seen so many in his life. He can’t see the end of the room or how many perfectly organized lines of bookshelves are in there. Jensen could probably pass the rest of his long life in there just counting.

The basement keeps on lighting up as Jensen walks in, turning his head from left to right, like his brain can’t process what he just found.

He knew very well that a lot of human books had been banned and taken away, but for some reason, Jensen assumed they just-destroyed them somehow. But maybe destroying books seemed too barbaric for shifters, who decided that keeping them away forever would be a good option. Just like they did with humans, too. Jensen swallows, feeling himself shiver for a second at that idea, Jared’s voice suddenly loud and clear in his head. “It’s creepy, don’t you think?” Yes, a little. But Jensen’s sure shifters aren’t doing it on purpose.

This is probably why all the other two libraries Jensen had driven by are closed and being modified to convert them into something different. The remaining books weren’t enough, so they had to put them all in one library alone and then hide all the forbidden books in here.

As Jensen keeps on walking through the hallways formed by the rows of books in shelves, he realizes most of them have labels and a sequence of numbers glued to the spines. He recognizes the numbers immediately as their numbers, not humans’. The printed sequences on the labels made by complicated lines and dots are shifters numbers.

It also says where each specific book came from, all the details are there. The one Jensen is currently checking used to belong to someone named Colin Ford. The book was retrieved from his home almost two years ago. Jensen slides two fingers over the spine of the book as he thinks that the guy who owned his book has probably been connected to a Facility for a long time by now, not knowing his real book is in here, locked in a cold basement of a library owned by aliens. Colin must think he’s at home, with his family, when in reality he’s sitting along strangers in one of many Facilities, connected to an advanced machine that makes him dream a fantasy he’ll never be able to wake up from.

Jensen can give that to Jared. When you think about Facilities from a human perspective they don’t sound that nice. But again, shifters never did it with that intention.

He slides the book out of the shelf, almost waiting for some alarm to go off, but there’s nothing. Turning the book around, Jensen finds the picture of a blue broken umbrella on the floor-like a car ran over it-along with what looks like fake blood all over it. Mr. Mercedes a novel by Stephen King. Well, for the cover alone Jensen can guess why they decided the book wasn’t appropriate.

The book right next to the one Jensen took seems to belong to the same guy. The Shinning. And it seems to be written by the same author too. Jensen thinks he read somewhere about Stephen King being one of the "best authors of this human century".

Checking the summary of both books lets Jensen quickly guess that probably every single thing Stephen King wrote has got to be hidden in here.

Jensen looks down at both books again, not sure about them. Jared had mentioned another kind of books and Jensen has to be quick before Samantha realizes he has been down there too long. Besides, he doesn’t have enough space to take too many books.

But he has to take something in case he doesn’t find the specific books he’s looking for. After a long minute, Jensen decides to put them on the inside of his coat before he keeps walking through the basement filled with forbidden books. It’s even a little thrilling, knowing these have all been taken away for one reason or another and now Jensen can take them out once again. Maybe he’ll give them a read himself after Jared is done with them.

Sadly, the books don’t seem to be organized alphabetically, so it’s going to be more tricky than expected to find the exact titles he memorized since the night Jared spoke about his favorite books.

Jensen is down there for almost forty-five minutes when he hears someone calling his name.

He stops in his tracks, holding his breath and turning around to look at the automatic door at the other side of the basement. They have closed again. Jensen needs to get out of there before someone comes downstairs and realizes he’s not in the room he’s supposed to. Hoping his steps won’t make too much noise, Jensen starts running towards the black doors, feeling some relief once he’s close enough to see the blinking red light of the scanner on the inside of the room.

That’s when he realizes it, when he’s about to slide the door open and answer to the voice calling his name. Jensen doesn’t have the card anymore.

He has walked row after row, looking at the different books and trying to find what he came from in the first place, he could have dropped it anywhere.

“Jensen, honey?” Mrs. Ferris muffled voice at the other side door makes his blood start to run cold. She can’t get down there without her card but she could easily ask the other employee to lend her the one he has.

Jensen looks around, watching the farther lights in the basement start to turn off once the sensors don’t catch any more movement anymore. What would be better? Get caught doing something incredibly suspicious that could get any shifter thinking that Jensen is developing all the bad human emotions that then pushed him to do such a thing (and could get Danneel and a Security Division wanting to take action against him), or stay locked in there for hours while Jared is alone at home?

It’s stupid to get instantly worried at the idea of Jared being alone by the time Jensen should already be back home. Nobody is going to go inside the house. Why would any shifter get inside his house? They wouldn’t.

But the small possibility makes Jensen’s remaining patience disappear in thin air. He starts to check all his pockets again, thinking about running through the entire damn basement if he needs to in order to find the card.

At the same time Jensen is slowly losing all self-control while locked in the one room he’s not supposed to be in, Samantha Ferris slides Rob’s card trough the scanner, waiting for the light to turn green and for the door so slide automatically to go in. She walks downstairs, calling Jensen’s name once again before opening the door for the book repairing area to peek inside.

There’s nobody there and the lights are off.

Then, she hears a door closing behind her, making her jump on the spot and turn around, watching Jensen walk out of the employee’s bathroom.

“Jensen, honey.” She smiles at him, pressing her right hand to her chest. “You scared me!”

“I’m so sorry.” Jensen smiles at her, zipping up his coat before handing her the card he found right under the locked door, half of it peeking of the room where Samantha could have seen it if she had glanced down at the floor. “I saw the bathroom sign and went in, but it just occurred to me I shouldn’t have used the ones upstairs instead. My apologies.”

“Oh, please, it’s okay!” She bats one hand in the air. “We were letting some shifters come here and use this one when we had to repair the ones in the first floor anyway.”

“You’re so kind.” Jensen puts one of his hands on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “And I did found the book. Is in there in the pile of books that need to be fixed.” He studies her face, waiting for her to make any kind of confused expression since Jensen is full of shit right now. He doesn’t know if there’s any pile or a queue of books waiting to be fixed.

Yet all Samantha does is smile in return.

“That’s wonderful news! I told you it had to be here somewhere.”

“Thank you for letting me come down and check. I feel much better now.”

Ms. Ferris nods in return but then stops and squints for a second, pursing her lips. Jensen holds his breath, mouth going dry as he uses the hand in the right pocket of his coat to push one of the books deeper inside.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Jensen? Your face is red and you’re sweating.” Samantha brings her hand up, pressing it to his forehead. “And your forehead is warm, too.”

Because Jensen ran half the basement in this warm coat and then proceeded to freak out right next to the locked door.

“I was sick a couple weeks ago. Seems that tonight’s storm isn’t helping to my recovery.”

Jared must be a better teacher than Jensen expected, because Ms. Ferris believes his lie instantly. She grabs onto Jensen’s arms as they go upstairs, telling Jensen he needs to take care of himself. She believes he’s always exposed to all kind of sickness working at the Hospital all the time, taking care of other shifters as the sweet and kind healer she thinks Jensen is.

“But of course, I don’t have to tell you how to take care of the flu. A healer would know.” She pats Jensen’s hand and gives her a smile. “Are you taking any books with you?”

“Not tonight.” Jensen says with a friendly expression. At least not the ones she’s talking about. “I just came to the library because I was worried about that history book.”

Samantha takes the opportunity to insist how polite and wonderful Jensen is once again, showering him in more compliments for coming to the library when it’s raining and he’s sick just because of a book she knew was somewhere in here all along. Jensen thinks that if Jared was here he would be rolling his eyes to the back of his head. Jensen thinks Mrs. Ferris is sweet, yet she goes a little overboard with her compliments. It’s a bit much.

Jensen wishes her a good night and waves his hand at the guy he saw before, taking his umbrella from where he left it right next to the entry on his way out.

Of course it would be there.

No other shifter is walking out of that library with stolen things that night. Just Jensen.

-

When he walks in the house, Jared is already waiting there for him, sitting on the chair closest to the door. There are two cups on the coffee table, and for what Jensen guesses they are cold now. Next to the cups there are three DVD movies and a bowl full of popcorn. Jensen feels an instant pang of guilt for being late, guessing that Jared was probably planning a movie night since it's been raining for a while. Jared mentioned something about humans doing this kind of stuff when there was a bad weather.

Jared jumps out of the chair as soon as Jensen walks in.

“You took longer than usual to come back.” Jared mumbles immediately, seeming nervous as he nibbles on his lower lip. “Are you alright?”

Jensen nods, giving Jared a big smile that makes the human frown in return.

“I’m sorry I’m late, but I think this might make it up for it.”

Jared frown grows bigger, wrinkles appearing on his forehead and between his eyebrows. Jensen shoves his hand in the right pocket of his coat, pulling out a heavy book with mountains drawn on the cover.

“The Hobbit!” Jared cries out in delight, eyes widening as he stares as the book like is the most wonderful thing he has seen. “Where did you get that?”

Jensen nods in return. “And other ones too. I don’t know if you like Stephen King at all, and I could only find the seventh book of that wizard boy you also told me about, but-”

Before Jensen realizes it, Jared is crossing the space between them and throwing his arms around Jensen's back, hugging him tight, face pressed to Jensen0s neck. Jensen is too startled to do anything at first, but after a couple seconds of Jared keeping his arms wrapped around him while repeating “thank you, thank you, thank you” over and over again, Jensen smiles and hugs Jared back, pressing his nose to the top of Jared’s head for only a couple seconds.

It’s strange. He and Jared use the same shampoo, but somehow, Jared smells better than anything Jensen remembers. It makes Jensen wish the hug could last just a little bit longer so he could keep on surrounding himself with the nice scent.

Jared pulls away after a long moment, cheeks and nose bright pink, but that dimpled smile Jensen has grown to like so much right there, making Jensen’s chest flare in happiness.

They leave the movie night for another occasion, Jared seems to have forgotten about it, too distracted checking all the books Jensen could sneak out of the library.

Before getting in the house Jensen wondered if he should rip off the labels that indicated where the books came from since he didn’t want to trigger Jared with the details of humans being taken away. But there’s no way Jared could understand since it's all written using the shifter alphabet. Besides, it felt wrong to take away the history of the owners of each book.

Jensen warms up his coffee and Jared’s chocolate for them to drink while Jared freaks out with every single book, almost bouncing on the couch while he talks and talks about every single one of them. Apparently, Jensen made a good call, Jared seems to be into Stephen King as well.

They spend the night discussing Jared’s new old books and how Jensen got them. Jared seems both fascinated and horrified about Jensen sneaking in the basement. He looks like his eyes are going pop out of his skull when Jensen gives him the details about the endless rows of banned books. Jared tells Jensen to never go back in there because “what if you get caught, Jensen? No way!” but Jared seems so happy with everything Jensen got for him that Jensen is sure this is not going to be his last visit to the locked room in the basement of Mrs. Ferris' library.

The books have Jared with a smile from ear to ear for days. He does nothing but talk about the plot of each book when Jensen comes back from work or when he wakes up early enough for them to have breakfast together before Jensen leaves. And of course during the weekends too, when Jensen can stay right there with Jared all day long.

Jared starts telling Jensen about how he wrote a really good essay about one of Stephen King’s books when he was in High School, which eventually leads them to more topics about Jared’s past.

And he keeps on going from there, talking about things Jared has never spoken about before, sharing more and more details about his life. Before he wouldn’t mention anybody by name, but now Jensen knows how everyone in Jared’s family is called and that the best friend he had been running away with is named Chad. For all the stories Jared shares, that Chad guy sounds like a really weird human. Even for human standards. When Jensen points that out to Jared, all he does is laugh again and shrug before going “Of course he’s weird. It’s Chad!”

Jensen has no clue what that’s supposed to mean, but he rolls with it. Seems like he’s not getting any other explanation for each strange story apart from “It’s Chad.”

Jared seems to be opening up and happy to tell Jensen everything he was uncomfortable talking about before, yet there are some moments Jensen can tell Jared is holding back, catching himself mid-phrase and shutting up again, looking down nervously and then completely changing the topic. Jensen always pretends not to notice and never makes a comment about it, but it seems like Jared feels quite awkward when he lets slip something he wasn’t supposed to.

For what Jensen has noticed, it especially happens when they touch the topic of relationships and love.

It seems a touchy subject for Jared, and while Jensen wonders why, he doesn’t want to press on the matter. Maybe Jared had a bad experience and doesn’t even want to talk about? Jensen isn’t an expert on the topic himself, so he doesn’t have room to speak about romance either. While love seems to be a universal thing-it doesn’t change no matter the planet or the specie-Jensen doesn't such a big personal experience regarding it.

Sure, he loves in the more common way. He loves all shifters he knows or not, loves his patients, loves animals, loves the planets he lives in and loves the stars and the vastness of the Universe. But that is general love, not the undying love you read about in human novels where you feel such thing for one person alone. And while shifters do believe in life partners and finding the one you care about even more than the rest, it really hasn’t happened to Jensen yet.

Maybe it’s the same for Jared? In which case, he shouldn’t be embarrassed. Jensen has lived much longer than Jared and hasn’t experienced that type of love yet, there’s nothing wrong with it.

But then again, Jensen has been learning that he’s no expert in human emotions, so it might be better to leave it alone. He still remembers his massive failure when trying to make Jared forgive him when he was mad at Jensen, the whole flowers charade he pulled was embarrassing. And sure, now they always have flowers in the house because Jared likes them, but Jensen fucked that one up at first for sure. He doesn’t want to do that again.

At the same time, and to Jensen’s surprise, the one subject Jared has been opening up about more and more is about his mother. Jensen can only guess, of course, but it seems like he has a long time wanting to talk about Sheri but never being able to. Jensen sits by his side and lets Jared talk about her for as long as he wants to without interrupting, smiling along when is a happy memory or reaching over and placing his hand over Jared’s whenever he starts to tear up.

Jensen himself has to bite his tongue and control himself when Jared tells him exactly what happened the night his mom died, chest hurting from knowing Jared had to experience something like that when he was so young.

They were alone at home, a different home, a big house in San Antonio. Sheri had always wanted a big house, she would always tell that to Jared while playing outside in their backyard. She wanted a big house since she was little, and she had loved their house since the moment they moved in along with Jared's dad, two weeks after getting married. Jared says it would break her heart to know that after she died they sold the property and moved away.

The memories were too painful to keep the house of Sheri’s dream after her death.

It happened one night, a normal night during the summer. Jared’s dad was working, his brother was at a friend’s house and his baby sister was spending the night with Jared’s grandparents, who always loved taking their grandkids out whenever they came by to visit. Jared was invited to ice cream and a movie too, but he didn’t want to go. Sheri had to stay home so Jared stayed too. “I was always a momma’s boy”, Jared says in that moment with a sad smile.

He would be with her up and down. Drag his toys around the house to sit by her side on the floor or kept her company every Sunday morning when she went grocery shopping. Jared explains that he loved his dad, but his mom was-his mom. Jensen knows parenting is different from humans then how it is or shifters, so he understands what Jared means when he talks about that special bond.

Sheri was in the kitchen when it all started, with Jared playing with his stuffed animals close to the washing machine, waiting for her to be done cleaning so they could go upstairs to watch Jared’s favorite movie. They lived in a “good neighborhood”, as Jared explains. Nothing ever happened in that part of town. The worst thing before Sheri’s dead had been a lost bicycle that was later found after being forgotten at the ice cream place two blocks away.

That’s why sometimes they wouldn’t lock the door until everyone was back home.

Jared’s dad would always forget his keys and Jeff would ring like crazy whenever he was back from baseball practice, waking up Megan from her nap just after Sheri had been able to make her fall asleep. And it was a good neighborhood. People did that. They left the house unlocked until it was nighttime and everyone was back home and going to sleep.

It reminds Jensen of shifters for a second. You don’t lock your door unless you’re worried someone who doesn’t belong in there might try to come in. You don’t need locks when you feel safe. Jensen felt safe here, that’s why he never locked the doors, that’s why Jared could get inside the house in the first place.

Now Jensen locks everything, because he worries someone might come in looking for Jared.

Sheri didn’t think anyone would come looking for her or whatever things of value they had in the house. She and Jared heard a loud crashing noise coming from the living room-what Jared later found out was the noise of the guy kicking the door open. He meant to come in and leave as soon as possible, thinking the place was alone.

Sheri heard the noise and then screamed when she saw a guy with a gun in the house of her dreams in the middle of the safest neighborhood in San Antonio.

She picked Jared up and ran upstairs, with Jared scared like he had never been while clinging to her, asking her what was going on, wondering why he could hear someone chasing them.

Jared’s mom put him in the closet in her room and told him to stay there. Sometimes Jared would play in his parents’ room, pretend the big closet was a cave and his mom’s shoes were the hidden treasures left by pirates. For a second Jared ha wondered if it was a game, but Sheri’s tears along with her scared smile made Jared understand it was real.

He waited sitting inside the closet, pressing his hands to his ears while keeping his eyes squeezed closed. Just like she told him to do. But Jared could still hear it, the sound of the gun going off and then the horrible, terrible silence.

And in the house of Sheri’s dreams, Jared sat in the closet of her room, crying and covering his ears, waiting for the voice that was supposed to call him. But the voice never came along.

Jared never heard his mother say his name again.

After Jared is done telling Jensen the story, they sit side by side on the couch. Jared is hugging his legs, wrapped in a blanket while drinking the glass of water Jensen got for him. Jensen can still see the wet lines on Jared’s cheeks after how much he cried and Jensen wishes he could lean over and clean with them with his thumbs.

There’s nothing in the entire Universe that breaks Jensen’s heart like the vision of Jared suffering.

“I do agree humans were fucked up.” Jared nods, sniffing. “You guys are right on that one. Not all of us, sure, but maybe you do have a point when you say we’re all capable of being evil.”

Not you, thinks Jensen instantly, but he doesn’t say it. Jared’s different. Jensen has shared with him, he sees him day and night, Jensen knows Jared. He’s not bad.

Maybe Jared is the one who was right all along and shifters didn’t stop to think that perhaps some humans had good in them. Because when Jensen looks at Jared’s face, he can only see goodness in a boy who had a past full of painful memories and suffering.

Jensen sees Jared and all he feels are good things. The good human emotions, the ones that make Earth so special.

If there was ever an exception in the human race, it has to be Jared.

| Part Eleven |