Oh, the ideas...

[soulseduction]

I was telling two work colleagues about Bex's upcoming hen party and wedding. One of them remembered I had a girlfriend and joked that we'll be going up the aisle next. I reply that's not likely if I have any say in it, they remind me the catching of the bouquet and it's curse. Indeed, that gave me something to ponder about. Over the next half hour

Comments

[kushan]

The C4 idea is obviously the most manly way to do it, but it's effectiveness probably wouldn't lie in destroying the flowers, rather it would stop you getting married because Laila's face would be blown off.

The poking her in the back of the knee might work, but do you really want to take that chance?

Obviously the best way is to somehow make Laila associate flowers with danger or death or somesuch, via a series of subtle subconscious events. For example, buy her some flowers and hide a python inside them so when she goes to sniff them, it attacks her. Then next time, hide a black widow or other poisonous spider in them until eventually she realises that flowers == bad.

[anime_fallenang]

Ah, but pythons have the nasty habit of eating you and black widows and other such poisonous spiders also carry that oh so bothersome deadly venom. So, I still wouldn't make it down the aisle except in a coffin.

[kushan]

So what you're saying is, either it'll work...or it'll REALLY work?

[anime_fallenang]

At the cost of me living entirely? Yes. No brownies for you next week. :p

[mistress_bex]

Ah dudes, I know that in some ways you're gonna be relieved to hear this but in other ways I just hate to cut your scheming short but....

I aint tossing no bouquet...

That's fucking 80 quids worth of flowers, I aint throwing it no where kiddos!

[soulseduction]

I think this is the first time you have ever simultaneously pleased and disappointed me.

[mistress_bex]

I am a woman of many wonderful talents...

[mistress_bex]

Although just for arguments sake, I probably would lace the flowers with semtex for you just for the hillarity