It feels nice to have the house to yourself.

so glad it is a Friday. so glad that this semester is almost over. so glad I am going to board an airplane in five days. I'm afraid, but I'd rather be there than here. I only feel young when I am around family. I hate the constant nagging. I wish I was a better person too, but to rub it in is just rude ( Read more... )

I use to daydream about going to the movies alone. a quiet apartment to come home to. cooking for myself. washing dishes to Jenny Lewis on the stereo. go to coffeeshops to write/draw/read. idle in the bookstore, trailing my finger over the spine of every book. fingering albums in the record stores and whispering the alphabet under my breath. wake ( Read more... )

waiting to fall and fly. time is passing by so swiftly, and the fact my planner is opened almost halfway, scares me. we are trying so hard to just get by. I am much better though. everything will be slowing winding down soon. the harder days are over for now and I will be sitting in an airplane over the atlantic ocean in ten days. dreaming of ( Read more... )

I am unable to chew like a normal person. I can't wait to eat real food again, tell my gums to heal quickly! I received the Sufjan Stevens Christmas box set and am listening to it right now. It is splendid and fun and peaceful. Sufjan can really spin words, note the intro and short stories inside the sleeve. I ate pudding from cafeteria and made me ( Read more... )

I am constantly rubbing my eyes, trying to apply pressure to the sleepless. I wonder if I keep doing this, will I end up blind? Today, I had what I did have of my wisdom {teeth} was knocked down by a half. I wish for a lot of things like stopping the gnawing, dull pain on my bloodied gums, warm food to calm the growling of an empty stomach, the ( Read more... )

...in order to truly know myself, I must relinquish a home, I must give up every connection that could attach me and anchor me to the land. I am trying to find clarity, even though I can't move anywhere. And I am afraid that this home is my problem and my habits are a problem. I am afraid I have grown up too fast and that this is not the age for ( Read more... )

feeling terrible for putting such financial burdens on my dad. I wish someone would just jump out and say, "Just kidding! Oh we got you bad didn't we? Man, you should've seen the look..." something like that.

turning over thoughts of buying the Sufjan Stevens Christmas box set on B&N.com, which will save me more than $4 total including the ( Read more... )

Waiting, that's the problem, what am I waiting for? I've narrowed it down to two, to choose the wrong decision or no decision at all, because there doesn't seem to be a right one. I can't stand waiting for the coming failures. Everyone doesn't seem to mind, just glad it's not them. If only I had the point-of-view gun, actually I think feeling like ( Read more... )

drove to Langham Creek to find out basketball game is over ( Read more... )