Another thing-
I have decided that I'm not telling the people of the opposite sex how I feel. I seem to just be making them uncomfortable or stressed. So fuck it.

And deep down I always knew
All the times I thought that I loved you
It was just an easy answer
It was make believe
But I still believe that this heart will learn to love
I'm also tired ( Read more... )

Today was better I guess. I just sort of ignored everything that was bugging me. Casey and Mary were making me extra happy on the bus. Nora, Christa, and I were making shadows on the sidewalk. It was a lot of fun. But of course, there are still problems... Ignoring them probably won't get me very far. I think I realized a lot. Syd told me that I ( Read more... )

I remember when you knew all the right things to say and you always made me feel better. But now... all you do is make me cry

Another not so good day. Part of me knows why I'm upset and what I'm upset about, but then part of me is just always upset and I have no idea why. Maybe the reason just hasn't surfaced yet... I really really want to be happy. I just need people... people who don't need me. Its funny how people you need don't even know you're there.

I’ve got a ( Read more... )

Sorry if this entry makes anybody cry. If you're still overwhelmed with the whole Sydney thing (which I still am) then don't read this. My mom told me that her backpack was soaked in blood so they had to throw it away. My notebook with her was in there. I remember that I wrote the last note in there and making sure we were still cool and making ( Read more... )

If you read this,
You must post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want;
It can be good or bad,
just so long as it happened.
Then post this to your live journal,
To see what people remember about you.

Mary and I definitely talked on the phone for 2 hours, 29 minutes, and 32 seconds. wow. That was a very good phone conversation. I love my Mary. So I was talking to my mom eariler and she was telling me how the death of Sydney really shows that I can't leave people with bad words because you never know what will happen. So I'm copying Mary and ( Read more... )

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right next to them knowing you can't have them...

I was reading the first notebook me a Sydney kept and this note has been getting me through today ( Read more... )

This week has been by far the hardest week. But things are starting to get a little bit better...gradually. People came over yesterday and I went on Ludlow. I think Syd would want us to try to have fun. you know? My sister came home for the weekend. That makes me happy. She tried on her wedding dress today and asked me to be her maid of honor. I'm ( Read more... )