(no subject)
this entry is for your entertainment....
please feel free to comment on ur feelings towards this matter... i rather found it quite funny.
here ya go .. .there are two parts...
How George Hotz almost pissed off Mr. DeFalco, almost got a hot girl, and almost got to Florida
I’m sure, with the surrounding controversy that you have heard about “How Opal Mehta got kissed, got wild, and got a life” This is the less well known story of a less well known person known as George Hotz. This story is a work of fiction. All elements that appear to be based on real events and real places probably are.
“Spring break sucks”, I said to myself as I awoke that Tuesday. There really was nothing to do. I was pretty bored. Actually pretty is an understatement, I was so bored that I was watching episodes of a computer animated show called Reboot. It actually is a really good show, but the episodes start to lose their effect after watching them five or six times.
It probably was my fault I was bored. I didn’t think of anything to do beforehand, and it didn’t help that most of my friends were headed to Florida at the end of the week for the Battlebots IQ national robot competition. My best friend, Ray Barsa, was already down there. They are going with the school, the Bergen County Academies.
“Now George, why aren’t you going with the school?”, is a question you may ask. It is a very valid question. Why would George Hotz pass up an opportunity to be in Florida, fighting robots alongside hot girls? I didn’t exactly pass up the opportunity, the opportunity kind of wasn’t granted to me. The Bergen County Academies has never liked me too much. I have been confronted several times by the dean of students, Mr. Davis, for one reason or another. Suffice it to say, I wasn’t well liked by the higher ups.
Mr. DeFalco is the leader of our Battlebots team. You know how in classes one student is the teachers pet, always ratting out the others; a real stickler to the rules. Well DeFalco is like that with Davis. He would never miss an opportunity to display his adherence to the BCA code of honor. I used to wear these shoes with wheels on the bottom. They were awesome; no longer would I have to walk to class, I could just roll there. Well within a day of showing them to Mr. DeFalco, Mr. Davis was asking to see the bottom of my feet, a rather odd request out of context.
So, keeping on track. Mr. DeFalco decided, about 3 months before BBIQ that I had an attitude problem. Instead of confronting me about it, he called a meeting. The invitees of this meeting were Mr. DeFalco, Mr. Liva, my dad, my mom(if she could make it), the school psychotherapist(in case my attitude problem came from my childhood), my guidance counselor Kerri Hubbard(who played a major role in me not going on the Battlebots trip last year), and the man himself Mr. Davis. But a key person is missing from this list. Me. Were they seriously going to have an hour long meeting, and discuss me for an hour without me even being there. Am I really that important to them?
They did. And after an hour of rigorous debate, they came to one conclusion. I was going to quit Battlebots. Now there are a lot of things wrong with this conclusion. They can’t tell me that I am going to quit Battlebots. They can kick me out, but they can’t tell me I am going to quit.
At first I played it off as though I had quit, but later I realized they had determined my fate without a fair trial. Imagine if Michael Jackson wasn’t allowed to be at his trial for raping the kid. People would be mad. But I had no people to be mad for me at my lack of a fair trial.
Tuesday morning I started thinking about these events. I was fucking pissed. I had been swindled out of my spring break vacation. Dammit. I was owned, but not passed the point of retaliation. The phone rang. Normally when the phone rings it is some old lady pissed about the spyware on her computer. But thanks to the miracle of caller id, I saw that it was Ray. Maybe this would give me some motivation to get my ass down to Florida. Ray told me about the flight down, about his relatives he was staying with, and about with he was doing right now. He was lying on the beach with Traci Danielle.
Traci, how could I forget about Traci. I knew her from R3. She is on this team of all girls from Miami. By far she was the hottest. When I first met her, it took me a while to understand how a girl could be hot and build robots. I thought that combination didn’t work. Kind of like Asians with blonde hair. Well Traci was the exception to the {Hot, Robots}, and Tila Tequila is the exception to the {Blonde, Asian} At R3, we were sitting around at dinner, just talking, when Traci said she wanted a TIG welder for her birthday. I had never met a girl who knew what a TIG welder even was before, hell, most guys I know don’t even know what a TIG welder is. I really wanted to get to know her. She seemed like such a genuine person, I mean how many hot girls would ever admit to wanting a welder. Although back in September, I was much shyer and would have never made a move. Back then, when I started to like a girl, it was so much more difficult to hold a conversation with her. Also, if I wanted Traci, how many other Battlebots guys probably wanted her?
So Ray hands the phone over to Traci. We were talking, and I told her about wanting to go to Florida. I had four main reasons.
· To give me something to do
· To see robots fight and help out my friends
· To piss off Mr. DeFalco
· And to finally make a move on Traci.
I told her about the first three reasons, and immediately she enquired as to a fourth. She was like “So what would you do if you came down to Florida?” It seems like a pretty straightforward simple question, but the way she said it was like she had read my mind. She knew what I was thinking about. I was thinking about her. She asked why we didn’t talk much at R3. I wasn’t about to tell her about how much a liked her, so I kind of brushed off the question.
But then she started saying things like, “Give me a call when you get down here” and I’m a senior, so now’s your chance. I had to go. I had a real purpose for going. I needed to get to Miami.
How George Hotz almost pissed off Mr. DeFalco, almost got a hot girl, and almost got to Florida
Part 2
You know in all those crappy teen movies, the characters have a destiny. Everything will turn out right; the world will be okay; etc. I felt like that. One day someone will be at a computer screen writing a story about a kid named George Hotz and the week that he went to Florida. This shit is the canvas of legends, the stuff stories are told, retold, written, and have movies made about. I needed to get to Florida. This was my destiny.
Except in the movies stuff can be written to turn out however the authors want. If the authors wanted George to go to Florida and hook up with Traci, that is what would have happened. If they wanted me to crash and burn, consider me crashed and burnt. But sadly real life was not the movies. I couldn’t just transcribe my life on a piece of paper and have it turn out that way. I needed a plan; something that would leave me with memories, but not with regrets.
Sadly, Florida was far away. 1,305 miles from Glen Rock to Miami to be exact. At that time bike was my preferred method of transport. I liked riding my bike, and I probably would have too, but then I used some quick math to check my ETA. 1,305 miles riding 10 miles an hour riding 10 hours a day would take thirteen days to get there. 13 days seemed a bit excessive, not to mention BBIQ would be over by that time. So bike riding was out. I basically had two other options, plane or train. In my head, I saw something like a detour on the amazing race. “A detour is where George must choose between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this detour, George will have to choose between a Train and Plane.” The train was the surefire method of getting there. For $300 I could buy a round trip ticket that would guarantee I get there, free from the regulations of air travel, but it would take 27 hours each way. For $400 I could get a plane ticket. I could have trouble getting on, but once I was on, it would take only about two hours to get there.
I hypothetically asked my Dad about taking the train to Florida. He said that my Aunt used to take the train when she was afraid of air travel, but it was slow and uncomfortable. Plane was starting to look like a good option. I would still need to find a way to get to the airport, but that task seemed pretty trivial. I checked Travelocity and saw how easy it was to book a flight. This plan, which I dubbed “HGWGTF”, or How George Will Get To Florida, was finally starting to come together. But I needed a place to work out the kinks in my plan, a place free from distraction, a place where I could really think. So I was off to plan central.
“Plan central” was Barnes and Noble. I think Barnes and Noble is the best thing since CNC milling. Barnes and Noble lets anyone walk through their doors, sit down and read a book. It’s like the library, but the books they have are actually good. The library has lame old books, good if you like to read classics, but not good if you are looking for the latest. Also all the books in Barnes and Noble are shiny. I like shiny.
I frequently venture over to Barnes and Noble. It is about 3 miles by bike, but it is well worth the ride. It was a pretty hot day, about 75 degrees, so I was relieved when I felt the cool breeze of air conditioned Barnes and Noble air whoosh by as the automatic door sprung open. My first stop was the Barnes and Noble café. Although I never buy books there, I can’t resist getting a Grande Strawberries and Crème frappuccino. I don’t even know what a frappuccino is, hell I wouldn’t even be able to spell frappuccino without spell check, but they chuck strawberries, ice, and milk in it, so it tastes pretty good. Damn, $4.09, even with the stupid membership card. I should be saving up my money for Florida.
Speaking about Florida, I really should start working on that plan. On the bike ride over, I had decided plane was the way to go. I started thinking about my bike and how the train went only 6 times faster, but the plane went 60. 60 seemed like a much better number. I started comparing this to internet service; walking is like dial-up, my bike is like DSL, the train is like cable, and the plane is like FIOS. FIOS is Verizon’s new super high speed fiber optic internet hookup. I wanted FIOS, so I wanted the plane. It is kind of scary how I use computer analogies to choose a mode of transport, but I believe it helped me make the right choice.
But talking a plane added many more complications. I decide to first tackle the problem of getting to the airport. I grabbed a map of Bergen County and headed to the second floor toward the nice comfortable chairs in the lounge area. That’s another thing that makes Barnes and Noble so much better than the library, the chairs, literally, aren’t a pain in your ass. If they ever throw these chairs out, I need to pick one up.
Of course I forgot to bring a pencil. I asked the nice lady at the checkout counter for one, and she gave it to me. I wonder if she thought I was going to write in the books with it? I began to trace my route(on the map I had not yet purchased) to Newark airport. Even though the map only says it is a map of Bergen County, it included nearby areas like Newark airport. That map is such a liar.
The rest of my time at Barnes and Noble was rather uneventful. I planned a perfect route to Newark. I only needed to ride on the highway for a little bit of the time. Conveniently the time riding on the highway would take me right past a White Castle. I also did research into unaccompanied minors on planes. For the two main carriers I would be looking at, American and Continental, neither had a problem with someone between 15 and 17 traveling alone. Little kids aged 8 to 14 get so owned; they need someone to look after them. The parents of little kids get owned too, because they have to pay the flight attendants $60 to look after the little kid. OWNED. I hung out at Barnes and Noble until around 10:30, reading about various topics, including this crazy book “How Opal Mehta got kissed, got wild, and got a life”
But I hear she plagiarized it. ;-)
Okay so my air travel part of the plan was secure. Although I still needed a place to stay. After talking with Yanks and Vadim, they said they could probably get one. I was hopefully going to stay with Paul, Marc, and Yanks. I was so desperate for a room that I was willing to sleep in the bathtub. Finally at near midnight, Yanks IMes me, “yeah marc doesn’t care if you stay with us” Sweet, I had a room.
There was another little problem with this whole plan, I didn’t think my parents would be too happy about it. I was staying with people they had only heard about. Normally my parents are cool with whatever I do; I don’t know though this could be pushing it. But if going to Florida really was my destiny they couldn’t stop it. After all, you can’t fuck with what’s meant to be.
I couldn’t go to sleep yet; I still had some work to do. I needed money and clothes. I went to the bank at around 12:30; ATMs are the best thing ever since Barnes and Nobles. I withdrew $400. Along with the $120 I had in my wallet, that should give me enough to pay for the ticket and buy food and stuff in Florida. I was set. Crammed into my laptop bag were the laptop, three changes of clothes, a toothbrush, deodorant, tooth paste, and my passport(which required me to creep into my parents room to get). It looked like some granny’s overstuffed purse.
I chucked the bag at the foot of my bed, and laid down. That night I settled into bed with the plan in my head, supplies in my bag, and Traci in my heart.
ps. MNG > Titanium Knights
MNG>world.
luv ya!
~trace
please feel free to comment on ur feelings towards this matter... i rather found it quite funny.
here ya go .. .there are two parts...
How George Hotz almost pissed off Mr. DeFalco, almost got a hot girl, and almost got to Florida
I’m sure, with the surrounding controversy that you have heard about “How Opal Mehta got kissed, got wild, and got a life” This is the less well known story of a less well known person known as George Hotz. This story is a work of fiction. All elements that appear to be based on real events and real places probably are.
“Spring break sucks”, I said to myself as I awoke that Tuesday. There really was nothing to do. I was pretty bored. Actually pretty is an understatement, I was so bored that I was watching episodes of a computer animated show called Reboot. It actually is a really good show, but the episodes start to lose their effect after watching them five or six times.
It probably was my fault I was bored. I didn’t think of anything to do beforehand, and it didn’t help that most of my friends were headed to Florida at the end of the week for the Battlebots IQ national robot competition. My best friend, Ray Barsa, was already down there. They are going with the school, the Bergen County Academies.
“Now George, why aren’t you going with the school?”, is a question you may ask. It is a very valid question. Why would George Hotz pass up an opportunity to be in Florida, fighting robots alongside hot girls? I didn’t exactly pass up the opportunity, the opportunity kind of wasn’t granted to me. The Bergen County Academies has never liked me too much. I have been confronted several times by the dean of students, Mr. Davis, for one reason or another. Suffice it to say, I wasn’t well liked by the higher ups.
Mr. DeFalco is the leader of our Battlebots team. You know how in classes one student is the teachers pet, always ratting out the others; a real stickler to the rules. Well DeFalco is like that with Davis. He would never miss an opportunity to display his adherence to the BCA code of honor. I used to wear these shoes with wheels on the bottom. They were awesome; no longer would I have to walk to class, I could just roll there. Well within a day of showing them to Mr. DeFalco, Mr. Davis was asking to see the bottom of my feet, a rather odd request out of context.
So, keeping on track. Mr. DeFalco decided, about 3 months before BBIQ that I had an attitude problem. Instead of confronting me about it, he called a meeting. The invitees of this meeting were Mr. DeFalco, Mr. Liva, my dad, my mom(if she could make it), the school psychotherapist(in case my attitude problem came from my childhood), my guidance counselor Kerri Hubbard(who played a major role in me not going on the Battlebots trip last year), and the man himself Mr. Davis. But a key person is missing from this list. Me. Were they seriously going to have an hour long meeting, and discuss me for an hour without me even being there. Am I really that important to them?
They did. And after an hour of rigorous debate, they came to one conclusion. I was going to quit Battlebots. Now there are a lot of things wrong with this conclusion. They can’t tell me that I am going to quit Battlebots. They can kick me out, but they can’t tell me I am going to quit.
At first I played it off as though I had quit, but later I realized they had determined my fate without a fair trial. Imagine if Michael Jackson wasn’t allowed to be at his trial for raping the kid. People would be mad. But I had no people to be mad for me at my lack of a fair trial.
Tuesday morning I started thinking about these events. I was fucking pissed. I had been swindled out of my spring break vacation. Dammit. I was owned, but not passed the point of retaliation. The phone rang. Normally when the phone rings it is some old lady pissed about the spyware on her computer. But thanks to the miracle of caller id, I saw that it was Ray. Maybe this would give me some motivation to get my ass down to Florida. Ray told me about the flight down, about his relatives he was staying with, and about with he was doing right now. He was lying on the beach with Traci Danielle.
Traci, how could I forget about Traci. I knew her from R3. She is on this team of all girls from Miami. By far she was the hottest. When I first met her, it took me a while to understand how a girl could be hot and build robots. I thought that combination didn’t work. Kind of like Asians with blonde hair. Well Traci was the exception to the {Hot, Robots}, and Tila Tequila is the exception to the {Blonde, Asian} At R3, we were sitting around at dinner, just talking, when Traci said she wanted a TIG welder for her birthday. I had never met a girl who knew what a TIG welder even was before, hell, most guys I know don’t even know what a TIG welder is. I really wanted to get to know her. She seemed like such a genuine person, I mean how many hot girls would ever admit to wanting a welder. Although back in September, I was much shyer and would have never made a move. Back then, when I started to like a girl, it was so much more difficult to hold a conversation with her. Also, if I wanted Traci, how many other Battlebots guys probably wanted her?
So Ray hands the phone over to Traci. We were talking, and I told her about wanting to go to Florida. I had four main reasons.
· To give me something to do
· To see robots fight and help out my friends
· To piss off Mr. DeFalco
· And to finally make a move on Traci.
I told her about the first three reasons, and immediately she enquired as to a fourth. She was like “So what would you do if you came down to Florida?” It seems like a pretty straightforward simple question, but the way she said it was like she had read my mind. She knew what I was thinking about. I was thinking about her. She asked why we didn’t talk much at R3. I wasn’t about to tell her about how much a liked her, so I kind of brushed off the question.
But then she started saying things like, “Give me a call when you get down here” and I’m a senior, so now’s your chance. I had to go. I had a real purpose for going. I needed to get to Miami.
How George Hotz almost pissed off Mr. DeFalco, almost got a hot girl, and almost got to Florida
Part 2
You know in all those crappy teen movies, the characters have a destiny. Everything will turn out right; the world will be okay; etc. I felt like that. One day someone will be at a computer screen writing a story about a kid named George Hotz and the week that he went to Florida. This shit is the canvas of legends, the stuff stories are told, retold, written, and have movies made about. I needed to get to Florida. This was my destiny.
Except in the movies stuff can be written to turn out however the authors want. If the authors wanted George to go to Florida and hook up with Traci, that is what would have happened. If they wanted me to crash and burn, consider me crashed and burnt. But sadly real life was not the movies. I couldn’t just transcribe my life on a piece of paper and have it turn out that way. I needed a plan; something that would leave me with memories, but not with regrets.
Sadly, Florida was far away. 1,305 miles from Glen Rock to Miami to be exact. At that time bike was my preferred method of transport. I liked riding my bike, and I probably would have too, but then I used some quick math to check my ETA. 1,305 miles riding 10 miles an hour riding 10 hours a day would take thirteen days to get there. 13 days seemed a bit excessive, not to mention BBIQ would be over by that time. So bike riding was out. I basically had two other options, plane or train. In my head, I saw something like a detour on the amazing race. “A detour is where George must choose between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this detour, George will have to choose between a Train and Plane.” The train was the surefire method of getting there. For $300 I could buy a round trip ticket that would guarantee I get there, free from the regulations of air travel, but it would take 27 hours each way. For $400 I could get a plane ticket. I could have trouble getting on, but once I was on, it would take only about two hours to get there.
I hypothetically asked my Dad about taking the train to Florida. He said that my Aunt used to take the train when she was afraid of air travel, but it was slow and uncomfortable. Plane was starting to look like a good option. I would still need to find a way to get to the airport, but that task seemed pretty trivial. I checked Travelocity and saw how easy it was to book a flight. This plan, which I dubbed “HGWGTF”, or How George Will Get To Florida, was finally starting to come together. But I needed a place to work out the kinks in my plan, a place free from distraction, a place where I could really think. So I was off to plan central.
“Plan central” was Barnes and Noble. I think Barnes and Noble is the best thing since CNC milling. Barnes and Noble lets anyone walk through their doors, sit down and read a book. It’s like the library, but the books they have are actually good. The library has lame old books, good if you like to read classics, but not good if you are looking for the latest. Also all the books in Barnes and Noble are shiny. I like shiny.
I frequently venture over to Barnes and Noble. It is about 3 miles by bike, but it is well worth the ride. It was a pretty hot day, about 75 degrees, so I was relieved when I felt the cool breeze of air conditioned Barnes and Noble air whoosh by as the automatic door sprung open. My first stop was the Barnes and Noble café. Although I never buy books there, I can’t resist getting a Grande Strawberries and Crème frappuccino. I don’t even know what a frappuccino is, hell I wouldn’t even be able to spell frappuccino without spell check, but they chuck strawberries, ice, and milk in it, so it tastes pretty good. Damn, $4.09, even with the stupid membership card. I should be saving up my money for Florida.
Speaking about Florida, I really should start working on that plan. On the bike ride over, I had decided plane was the way to go. I started thinking about my bike and how the train went only 6 times faster, but the plane went 60. 60 seemed like a much better number. I started comparing this to internet service; walking is like dial-up, my bike is like DSL, the train is like cable, and the plane is like FIOS. FIOS is Verizon’s new super high speed fiber optic internet hookup. I wanted FIOS, so I wanted the plane. It is kind of scary how I use computer analogies to choose a mode of transport, but I believe it helped me make the right choice.
But talking a plane added many more complications. I decide to first tackle the problem of getting to the airport. I grabbed a map of Bergen County and headed to the second floor toward the nice comfortable chairs in the lounge area. That’s another thing that makes Barnes and Noble so much better than the library, the chairs, literally, aren’t a pain in your ass. If they ever throw these chairs out, I need to pick one up.
Of course I forgot to bring a pencil. I asked the nice lady at the checkout counter for one, and she gave it to me. I wonder if she thought I was going to write in the books with it? I began to trace my route(on the map I had not yet purchased) to Newark airport. Even though the map only says it is a map of Bergen County, it included nearby areas like Newark airport. That map is such a liar.
The rest of my time at Barnes and Noble was rather uneventful. I planned a perfect route to Newark. I only needed to ride on the highway for a little bit of the time. Conveniently the time riding on the highway would take me right past a White Castle. I also did research into unaccompanied minors on planes. For the two main carriers I would be looking at, American and Continental, neither had a problem with someone between 15 and 17 traveling alone. Little kids aged 8 to 14 get so owned; they need someone to look after them. The parents of little kids get owned too, because they have to pay the flight attendants $60 to look after the little kid. OWNED. I hung out at Barnes and Noble until around 10:30, reading about various topics, including this crazy book “How Opal Mehta got kissed, got wild, and got a life”
But I hear she plagiarized it. ;-)
Okay so my air travel part of the plan was secure. Although I still needed a place to stay. After talking with Yanks and Vadim, they said they could probably get one. I was hopefully going to stay with Paul, Marc, and Yanks. I was so desperate for a room that I was willing to sleep in the bathtub. Finally at near midnight, Yanks IMes me, “yeah marc doesn’t care if you stay with us” Sweet, I had a room.
There was another little problem with this whole plan, I didn’t think my parents would be too happy about it. I was staying with people they had only heard about. Normally my parents are cool with whatever I do; I don’t know though this could be pushing it. But if going to Florida really was my destiny they couldn’t stop it. After all, you can’t fuck with what’s meant to be.
I couldn’t go to sleep yet; I still had some work to do. I needed money and clothes. I went to the bank at around 12:30; ATMs are the best thing ever since Barnes and Nobles. I withdrew $400. Along with the $120 I had in my wallet, that should give me enough to pay for the ticket and buy food and stuff in Florida. I was set. Crammed into my laptop bag were the laptop, three changes of clothes, a toothbrush, deodorant, tooth paste, and my passport(which required me to creep into my parents room to get). It looked like some granny’s overstuffed purse.
I chucked the bag at the foot of my bed, and laid down. That night I settled into bed with the plan in my head, supplies in my bag, and Traci in my heart.
ps. MNG > Titanium Knights
MNG>world.
luv ya!
~trace