DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
1. 40-ish = 49
2. Adventurous = Slept with everyone
3. Athletic = No breasts
4. Average looking = Moooo
5. Beautiful = Pathological liar
6. Emotionally secure = On medication
7. Feminist = Fat
8. Free spirit = Junkie
9. Friendship first = Former slut
10. New-Age = Body hair in the wrong places
11. Old-
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