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I have been chewing and spitting like a goddamn machine the last few days. I feel like some kind of gross, bionic shredder ( Read more... ) -
Oy.
So I'm totally relapsing at the moment. I had a biggish binge last night (especially considering I couldn't purge, because I found out my mom can hear it from her bedroom, and I really can't deal with that knowledge) and spent today feeling basically like crap. On my way home from therapy I stopped at Whole Foods (the crappiest Whole Foods I've ( Read more... ) -
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Ugh. My biggest body issue at this point isn't actually my weight/body; it's my face. The thing is, I stay proportional pretty much no matter how much weight I gain or lose. I definitely would fucking love it if I could have the body I did two years ago, but at this point...that was two years ago, and I've kind of gotten used to being unskinny. I ( Read more... ) -
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I've been listening to "Hospice" by The Antlers on repeat recently--especially the songs "Bear" and "Two." It's a great album, but I keep remembering how I read--before I'd gotten the album, when I was still considering getting it--someone saying that they felt this album was about a relationship ripped apart because the other person--whoever not- ( Read more... ) -
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I don't know if I've posted about this before, but a few weeks ago my mom told me that she can hear me when I purge (in the middle of the night, way at the other end of the apartment). And so now when I want to purge, I feel totally paralyzed because what if she's awake and listening? What if she decides to get out of bed and confront me? What if ( Read more... ) -
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Ugh ( Read more... ) -
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Okay. So. Um. To review ( Read more... ) -
Well.
Two days ago I was diagnosed with an as yet unspecified form of bipolar disorder ( Read more... ) -
Meh.
So after restarting the journal, I...did nothing. But after a few days I periodically remembered its existence, and started feeling guilty ( Read more... ) -
Hello, world
I've decided to start this journal back up. I'm pretty much recovered, I think--the emotional problems that were driving my ED are more or less resolved, at least these days, and the impetus just doesn't seem to be there--but I do definitely need to lose weight, and now is the time. I don't have much else to really focus my energy on for the next ( Read more... )