AtS fic Part One
Part One
“Someone get this pipsqueak outta my face,” Faith calls as Angel approaches. Angel turns to his son with a confused frown. Connor sits on the lobby counter, and Faith is in the office. He is glaring at the slayer resentfully, mouth twisted in frustration. Faith leafs through a dusty volume, losing the patience that Angel is frankly surprised she had to begin with.
“Not my fault your people don't know basic demonology,” Connor mutters.
“His people? Seriously?” Faith begins to stand. It's kind of insulting how offended she looks.
“I'm so glad I got re-ensouled for this,” Angel mutters to nobody in particular.
“Angel, you'd better watch your boy here, or he's gonna get himself on the wrong side of a beatin' sometime soon.” For all Faith seems to be addressing Angel, she's staring at Connor. She steps out from behind the desk.
“As if you could,” Connor sneers. Angel frowns at the thought of this inevitable battle happening in the hotel. The damage could be immense.
“Hey,” he tries to interject. “Could we maybe restrain ourselves from injuring people on our own side, here?”
“Oh, I don't know,” Connor responds dryly. “I hear violence can work well to solve people's problems.”
“You know, kid, you might not be so simple after all,” Faith smirks, and Connor levels a furious glare at her.
“...or at least not indoors with the nice new furniture?” Angel continues, mostly to himself.
“You know, I never thought I'd get tired of you hangin' around constantly questioning my authority, squirt. But I guess it just loses its comic absurdism after awhile,” Faith steps forward and straightens, looking ready.
“I'm truly shocked. Barking orders, on the other hand, has so endeared you to all of us.” Connor hops off the counter and meets the challenge in her gaze. “Really. I have no idea why your fellow slayer would try to kill you.” They stand toe to toe in the lobby.
“Don't worry, boss,” Faith turns to Angel, smiling malevolently at his son. “I can definitely do this without breaking anything. Of yours, I mean.” She turns back to Connor, and the fist she lands in his stomach sends him hurtling through the glass door.
Faith turns back to Angel, cringing. “Except that, I guess,” she admits. “Sorry.”
Something's up with the boss. Judging by the eyebrows, Angel appears irritated and bemused. She blinks.
Angel's mouth thins in resignation, and he rolls his eyes. Faith's features quirk into a baffled frown.
“Fine,” Angel says. Her eyes widen, and he shrugs. “He's got to learn to play with the other kids sometime. At least I know you can handle him.”
Faith's face breaks out into a broad grin. “Well, all right!” she responds. They look over to see Connor making his way back to the doorway, where sunlight is streaming through the smashed glass. Faith runs to meet him, dodging a blow as she runs past him, and he turns to follow. Faith has always preferred an outdoor fight.
“You think you know everything!” Connor shouts, as he follows an unexpected kick by slamming his elbow into her spleen. “You haven't seen half of what I've seen.” Faith straightens, lashing out as she does so and catching him with a smack across the face that sends him sprawling.
“Complain, complain,” Faith responds, panting. “Anyone ever tell you you're a real Negative Nancy?”
Connor recovers, wiping blood from his nose with his sleeve. He attacks, and Faith fends him off, blocking most of his moves but unable to stop all of them. Things become very interesting then, Connor moving fast as he can to keep up, Faith focusing on their confrontation. Connor grabs a kicking leg and flips her by it, and she grins; moments later, Faith has his hands in one of hers, resorting to wrestling holds she's learned, and slams him against the courtyard wall. Connor struggles, manages to free himself just long enough to turn around before being pinned again, this time snarling into Faith's smirking face just inches from his own. Her breath is warm puffs on his face, and he can see the shine of sweat on her forehead. A droplet traces down past her eyebrow and leaks into her eye; she blinks, but doesn't make a move to wipe it away. Connor feels his own face flushed with exertion, mouth open to allow enough air into his body. Faith's forearm rests on his windpipe but she's barely pressing down, not even enough to hurt.
He can't help himself. He kisses her.
A moment of surprise, then she rudely shoved him back; his head thunks against the wall, and he winces. Her eyes are questioning, though not, he thinks, of him - she seems to be struggling to decide something. Connor lifts his chin, moving again toward her red-painted lips, and she meets him fiercely.
Sunny - the first girl he ever met, who took him home and clothed him and kissed him and then died - kissed gently, like a sweet creature who'd been made to suffer would kiss. It left him full of longing, but he hadn't quite known for what. Not until Cordelia... but for all her exquisite womanness, Cordelia kissed him gently, without passion, and smiled into his eyes throughout with benevolent affection. She had initiated him into manhood. Their encounter had felt sacred to him. But this - is altogether new.
He tastes her smile, swallows her low laugh as her fingers roam across his shirt, finding their devious way to the waist of his pants. He shivers as her fingernails stroke down through his hair, behind his ear and then teasingly brush his jaw. He explores her artlessly but fervently in return, caressing through the cloth of her shirt, seeking out her shoulders, the soft skin of her belly, the curve of one stunning breast. He wonders if she would like him to touch her there, on her nipples, and feels himself respond to the thought.
Faith draws back then, suddenly, and he can hear her labored breathing.
“This?” she begins, “Is so not a good idea. I mean, really really.” She glances through the shattered door into the hotel; thankfully, Angel has decided to leave them to their own devices this once. Connor lifts his face proudly, mouth hardening.
“Why?” he attempts to demand. “Do you love another man?”
Faith bursts out laughing, and Connor glares furiously.
“No, hon, I swear that ain't it,” she responds, chuckles subsiding.
“Then what?” She meets his eyes, more serious now.
“Kid...” She looks away. “I'm bad news. I use people. Give 'em a good time, then leave 'em high and dry. Not really girlfriend material.” She's smiling like she's holding back a laugh, but to Connor she looks somehow immeasurably sad. It must be her eyes, so like his father's - both his fathers'. They who have known true despair.
“I'm no kid,” he corrects her. “And I don't know what a girlfriend is. But if that's not what you are, then that's not what I want.”
Faith takes another step back, laughing uneasily. “I don't think you know what you want, Connor. Not yet.”
He watches. She sits on the bench behind her, contemplating a clump of blue flowers growing by her feet.
“What of your feelings?” Connor steps closer to her. “Do you... do you want me? Am I acceptable?”
Faith smiles before she can stop herself. “Oh, you're definitely 'acceptable,'” she responds. “You're a whole-lot-of-stuff-able, matter of fact.”
“Then what's stopping you?”
“Dude, what are you, seventeen?” Faith winces. “And my friend's kid? Hell no. Definitely not going there.”
“I can make my own choices,” Connor objects. “Besides, didn't my father also love a human woman my age? He was centuries old; you're barely a handful of years ahead of me. Was he wrong?”
Faith frowns at this.
“What about Cordelia?” She tries again. “Aren't you and she an item now?”
“Cordelia needs my strength,” Connor speaks reverently. “And she will birth my child. I will defend her with my life. But...” he stumbles, remembering hurt. “But she's made it clear that my place is by her side. Not,” he swallows, “in her bed.” He grits his teeth as shame wells up in him. “If you think to shield me, there's little enough left to prevent. I have known monsters all my life. Soon enough, I'll have my own child to protect.”
Faith looks up into his face and he doesn't understand the anguish on her features.
“You can get pretty used to it when everybody wants something from you,” Faith says, appropos of nothing. Connor doesn't understand. He sits beside her. Facing her.
“Everybody wants something from everybody,” Connor explains. “It's how life is.”
Faith smiles a little. “Yeah, well, not how it's supposed to be. The way I learned it, you have people who care about you, right? And what they want is for you to be happy. That's all.”
“Did you have such people?” Connor has to ask.
Faith looks down. “A couple, here and there,” she recalls. “Buffy was actually alright to me, before things went bad. Angel... he never gives up on a girl. And all he wants is to see you not give up either. He cares about people.” She sends him a look. “Probably cares about you most of anyone, you know.” Connor considers that unlikely, but he doesn't object.
“You think I have much left to learn,” Connor observes.
Faith nods and shrugs, smiling to herself. “Sorry, stud. It's pretty apparent.”
Connor tilts his head to meet her gaze. “Then teach me.”
Faith laughs again. “Man, you are pretty good at that.” Connor can't tell whether she's laughing at him or herself.
“Is that a yes?” Incredibly, Connor sees a blush in her cheeks.
“Well,” she is at a loss momentarily. “What exactly do you want to learn?”
He smiles wide. “Everything,” he says. “Anything. Teach me what I can do to please you.” Faith smiles too, even laughing a little in surprise. Connor thinks he sees more brightness in it now.
“Very charming,” she tells him. “But, first? How about we explore how I can please you?”
His shocked expression makes her grin wickedly. She stands and nods toward the hotel stairs. He can only follow dumbly.
Connor has a dazed smile on his face as Faith leads him to his room. She's grinning, but as she looks into his eyes the expression slips, eyebrows flirting with a frown.
“I don't--” she begins. Connor stop her with a touch.
“I do,” he tells her, and kisses her authoritatively to further affirm his point. Faith melts into the kiss, enthusiasm growing.
“Lay back,” she whispers into his right ear. Connor shivers, and does as she asks. He looks up at the ceiling, but sneaks glances at her when he can't stop himself.
Faith crawls atop him, sinuous as befits a great warrior. She gives him a chaste kiss, then smiles and swoops downward. Connor cranes his neck to try to see what she's doing, and she pushes him back down. He stays still, heart pounding. Then he feels Faith unzipping his pants.
He starts, but she gives his leg a reassuring squeeze and he lies back again, nervous and excited. She pushes his clothing out of the way, and takes him in her mouth.
Connor can't suppress a whimper, but he silences himself after that, biting his lip to keep from moaning. His breathing speeds up, turns harsh and ragged. His hands clench and unclench handfuls of bedclothes.
Faith keeps the squirming body beneath hers firmly in place as she continues her minstrations. She can tell Connor's trying his best to stay cool, but he totally blows at it and it's incredibly hot. She hears him gasp when she manages to take him all the way down, and it revs her engine like she'd never have thought. She takes her time, long licks and slow sucking that make him twitch and groan involuntarily. He reaches a crescendo as he climaxes, finally allowing himself to give an exultant cry and once again arching off the mattress. Faith is still sucking, but he lifts her off and brings her face to his, trying fruitlessly to convey everything in one long, wonderful kiss.
Momentarily Faith feels like she's being interrupted. After accepting that Connor seems quite happy with the situation, she lets it go, relaxing into the kiss and lying beside him. He rolls them, ending on top of her, and sits back.
“I'd like to give you pleasure now,” he announces.
Faith smile up at him. “Oh yeah?” she replies. “Hell, I won't object. If you're sure you want to.”
“I am,” he responds firmly. He begins undoing her pants, sliding them off and out of the way, then looks down for a moment in bemusement.
He looks back up at Faith for guidance. Her eyes are closed, waiting.
“What do I do?” he reluctantly asks.
She smiles at him. “Have a ball, buddy-boy. Lips, tongue, no teeth. You know this?" she reaches forward and touches the tip of him, and he gulps. "Mine is in the middle, where - let me show you,” she spreads her legs farther and shows him.
“Good,” Connor says, and wastes no time.
He tries whatever he can think of, going by Faith's writhing responses to determine what works. She found a rhythm before, so he moves into one now, up and down, enjoying the taste of her. He finds himself ready again, primed by her obvious pleasure, and when he tells her she invites him back up, opens herself to him, and he revels in their consummation, substituting fingers for his tongue until she quivers and clutches him, and the moment makes him gasp, give a few final thrusts and spend himself within her. She rolls them then, ending prostrate with Connor facing her on his side, and sighing her satisfaction. He smiles too, well pleased.
“That was very informative,” Connor states mildly, after a few moments. There is a sheet draped over them both now, though Connor is quite warm enough without it.
“Mmm,” Faith stretches. “Good. I hate having to repeat myself.”
“Oh, you will,” Connor corrects. “I'm a very slow learner, I'm afraid. Often in Q'ortoth, my father had to teach me a skill many times before I succeeded at it.”
“Yeah, I'm sure you were real unmotivated.” Faith slides a leg over Connor's, trapping his. “Well, that's okay. I don't mind reviewing. We gotta get you livin' up to that potential of yours.”
“My lady does as she pleases,” Connor responds. “Oof!” Faith's elbow has jabbed his ribs.
“Lady, my ass,” Faith grumbles. “Better not call me that again.”
“Apologies, commander. I will be more respectful in the future.” Faith could swear this guy never used to have a sense of humor. She smacks him with a pillow, and he beams at her.
Faith sleeps with a crossbow beside her bed every night. Connor normally prefers a dagger under his pillow.
And later they'll go back to being prepared. Right now the bed holds them alone.
***
“What?!”
Faith gulped. “Yeah, I know. And you have no idea how--”
“With my SON?!” Angel roars.
“Oh boy,” Faith says under her breath. She starts again. “Angel, it wasn't like--”
“How? When?!” Angel is raving. “Why do people keep doing this?”
“Hey!” she protests. “I don't know what Cordelia was doing, but I sure as hell wasn't!”
“Then... what the hell, Faith?” Angel pleads. “He's already going to have a baby. Cordelia is having his baby.”
“Yeah, okay, I know. I can't really defend myself here. All I mean is... is it's easy to see why he means so much to you.” Faith slumps, dejected. Angel sighs the sigh of the long-suffering.
“Faith, I... I don't really understand this whole business with him and Cordelia, and now...”
“I know.” Faith stops him. “He needs your help. He's hurting, lost, pissed as hell.” She chances a look into his eyes, and smiles sympathetically. “Guess that's just your specialty, huh?”
Angel looks away. “I wish he'd let me help him,” he says quietly.
“I know,” Faith says softly. “I'll do my best.”
Angel meets her eyes again. “I should hope so.”
Faith smiles uncomfortably and salutes. Angel rolls his eyes. Faith looks down and bites her lip, embarrassed.
“I don't think he's... I mean, he said yesterday... Cordy's not with him, anymore.”
“Great,” Angel responds. “He's just her chaste protector.”
“I don't get it either, boss, believe me.” Faith smiles a little. “Coulda sworn I was the crazy gal of the bunch.”
Angel's face twists in pain.
“Oh, I uh, I didn't mean...” Faith starts. Angel holds up a hand.
“It's okay. I love Cordy. But... I'm worried about what she's doing to Connor. I don't think she realizes it, but she's... poisoning him.” Angel looks desolate.
“Hey, I'm sure it's just a crisis she's going through,” Faith comforts, sure of no such thing. “he'll be okay, right? He always gets it in the end.”
“Yeah,” Angel grimaces. “Sometimes... it can take awhile.”
Faith laughs. “Like father, like son, chief.” Angel frowns at her, and she shrugs impudently. “Come on, you know it's true. Don't mean it as an insult.”
Angel crosses his arm, quiet for a moment in thought.
He heaves a long, heavy sigh.
“Don't be telling me what you two get up to at night.” He warns, out of nowhere.
Faith's eyes widen. “No problem.”
“Make sure I don't find out. I don't want to... hear... anything.” Faith laughs, but Angel looks so genuinely terrified at this that she makes a mental note.
“We won't traumatize ya, boss. Promise.” She says solemnly.
“Yeah, well... too late,” Angel sulks. Faith makes a quick exit in case Angel changes his mind. He glares resentfully out of the window for a moment. Once Faith is sure she's out of his line of sight, she lets herself pump a fist in victory.
***
Once they're safe from the others, Connor turns to Cordy, reassuring himself that she is alive, unharmed. His gaze lingers on her belly, round with his child. When he meets her eyes, he sees hurt.
"You're okay now," he tells her. Her mouth quivers, presaging tears. She bites her lip and blinks them back.
"Thank you, Connor. Thank you for saving me and our baby." She swallows. "I... I'm sorry I can't enjoy the moment with you."
"You're hurting," Connor realizes. "But I'm sure it's okay. They must be under some wicked enchantment--"
"They turned on us, Connor." Cordelia says flatly. "I should've known it was coming. But what I can't believe is that you would..." she looks up into his eyes, pleading. "Tell me it's not true, Connor. Tell me you're not in love with her."
He draws back, stung. He can't face her, and fears that must be answer enough. When he finds the courage to meet her gaze again, she is crying. His beautiful Cordelia, crying because of him. Because of his mistake.
"I'm sorry," he begins. "I would never betray you. I only... I thought..." the words to explain himself will not come. She reaches out, touches his face with a gentle hand.
"I think I know," she confesses. His eyes search her face helplessly. "I pushed you away. You needed love, and didn't think you could come to me. And I'm sorry for that." He puts his hand over hers, shaking his head.
"No," he explains. "The fault was mine. I should never have deserted you. I'm so sorry. I don't understand why the others want to hurt you, but I won't let them. I will never hurt you, Cordy."
She smiles through her tears, and her wisdom and compassion overwhelm him, washing over him. His hand creeps around her abdomen. Caring for this child will be his redemption. She holds him close, stroking his hair, and he leans into her steadfast warmth.
Discreetly, Cordelia snips a lock of hair and slips it into her left pocket. She gives herself one moment to smile in triumph.
***
Order and the rule of law are slowly returning to the city. People mourning, recovering from the loss of Jasmine. Angel has a sudden yearning for a simplicity he has not known for centuries as he walks chin-up into the lion's den.
Lilah smiles wryly at Angel, and offers him the firm. Offers him happiness. Turns on the TV and purses her lips sympathetically as Angel watches his son in black and white security footage on the news. Pats him on the shoulder when he collapses into the nearest chair.
And then she offers him everything.
***
"Didn't expect to see you here," Connor says quietly.
"Yeah well, I never miss a party. Sunnydale's... stable, anyway." Faith approaches, sizing up the store for exits, trying to determine triggering mechanisms. He turns to face her.
"Connor," Faith begins. He meets her eyes and she can't continue.
"Aren't you going to say you love me?" he asks. "Aren't you going to tell me that life is worth living? That killing is wrong?"
"No," Faith swallows. "You don't get that stuff just from hearing someone say it."
"Then tell me how the world is better off without Jasmine," Connor demands. "Go on, insult my daughter. Curse the woman I loved."
"She was evil, Connor," Faith confirms. "I won't deny that. She was using us."
"You betrayed her!" Connor shouts, gesticulating. "You took her love and you threw it away! She gave you everything!"
"I know it felt like that," Faith starts cautiously. "But kid, it was just a trick. She played you, played everybody. I know it must have felt... calm, and pure--"
"Not to me!" Connor spits, flushed with anger. "I felt nothing! The son of a dead thing. Dead inside."
Glass shatters on the landing above. They turn, but see nothing for a few seconds.
Angel walks into view.
"Hey, dad," Connor says dully. "Still trying, huh?" Angel keeps approaching, and Connor's tone takes a hard edge. "Can't give up. Mother knew better. You can't love me. There's no reason to try."
"Connor," Angel pleads. "...Son. Of course I do."
"Save it," Connor says callously. "I don't need the big speech. I'm so sorry, Connor. I love you, Connor. Well, not enough! Not enough to stay. You ran, dad. You left with your friends and let them have me." His eyes look almost blank, blind with despair.
"I am sorry," Angel doesn't look away. Connor does.
"I'm sorry, son!" Connor jeers. "Thanks, everything is better now. I feel SO MUCH BETTER!" He upends a table, words becoming a bellow of rage. "So I guess you can leave! They always leave! They leave... or they die." He kicks an excercise bike across the room. "And I end up alone. Which do you want, huh?"
"Look, I don't care what you say," Faith butts in. "Jasmine was wrong. You don't need her. You have people who love you."
Connor closes the distance to her slowly, and Faith stops herself from backing away. He leans in close to her. She can feel the hard line of the explosives against her stomach.
"Lies," he whispers into her ear. "All you do is lie."
Faith punches him as hard as she can.
Angel blocks his countering blow, and Faith takes off, detaching the hostages. "Get out of here!" she shouts at them. "Go!" She runs to Cordelia's body, but then Connor is atop her, and she can't throw him. They roll, struggling. Connor's hands find their way around her neck. She grabs his wrist, digging nails into tendons, but he's not letting go.
Then Angel has him.
Connor's stronger than his father, but Angel has him in a grip and he can't break free. Faith struggles to her feet, holding her neck and coughing.
"Take the dagger," Angel indicates his left pocket, and she grabs it. It has the look of an enchanted thing, dark and swirling. She frowns up at Angel, at the desperate, despairing face of his son in front of him.
"Use it," Angel tells her. "It won't kill him."
She looks unsure. Connor almost escapes and Angel redoubles his hold. "Faith! Now!"
Faith is holding back tears. "yeah," she murmurs. "Fuck. Okay." She swallows, winces, meets Connor's eyes. "You know kid, I can't say I was in love with you, but I was getting damned fond of you. So don't you call me a liar." She levels the blade and glances once more into Angel's face, needing to see his permission one final time.
"I'm so sorry," Angel says softly, and he isn't talking to Faith. "But it was the only way to get her back, Connor. And you'll finally be happy. I promise." Angel nods to her. Faith swallows, and plunges the blade in deep.
And the world changes.