this is how i build up, too.novabirdMarch 6 2011, 19:29:53 UTC
YES YES YES. sometimes when i read stuff you have written i want to jump up and down on the couch and yell, because i relate so fucking hard.
i realize that i become intolerable to be around when i am not taking care of and loving myself. that is when other people's actions become big tidal waves and disorient me. i constantly become lazy because the struggle to love myself is so hard, i burn out quickly and expect other people to fulfill that need in a way that is irresponsible. i always wind back up in this same place, struggling not to pummel my head into the wall i'm facing. it's not my fault, but i am responsible for my actions, and even if i am not graceful i am constantly working on still being intentional.
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i realize that i become intolerable to be around when i am not taking care of and loving myself. that is when other people's actions become big tidal waves and disorient me.
i constantly become lazy because the struggle to love myself is so hard, i burn out quickly and expect other people to fulfill that need in a way that is irresponsible.
i always wind back up in this same place, struggling not to pummel my head into the wall i'm facing. it's not my fault, but i am responsible for my actions, and even if i am not graceful i am constantly working on still being intentional.
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