Rockstar stuff
Chiptunes fucking rocked. And Ground Kontrol is pretty cool, except that one pinball machine ate 50 cents.
The music was awesome(emo stuff happened in me, but it didn't affect the awesome music), so-called "Gameboy music" was some of the best I've heard.
I'm noticing a pattern in my behavior that's becoming even more clear. Every time I go out and do something with friends, without one exception, at some point, I get nervous and paranoid, and something random happens, and then I get really self-loathing and depressed. However, as soon as I express it, I feel fine. Great, even.
In this case, tonight at Ground Kontrol, some random portland girl asked if I danced and started yakking at me about dancing and making fun of me. It occured to me later she could have been hitting on me, and after reviewing the transcript of our dialogue, I thought I sounded like a fucking loser. In fact, I had told her,"I'm too much of a loser to dance." I think her name as Krystal or Krissy or something with a K.
I got depressed for the rest of the evening. I reviewed times in the past when I felt uncomfortable in public, unsure of how to act, and wishing Clark offered a "HOW NOT TO BE A FUCKING LOSER" class(I'm sure they would have at least on enrollment). However, on the way home, Bean mentioned that girl, and I got made fun of,"Oh, some random girl was mackin' on Zach?", to which I declared I was a total fucking loser. AT THAT POINT I felt instantly better, to this very moment about an hour later.
I can beat this. But I need to know what it is first. Why do I get all wierd in public/crowds? Why am I so dense? And why do I get depressed UNTIL I express myself about it? I don't really want to, I don't want to get depressed at all, and I don't want everyone to think of me as 'emo'. I'm considering some harsh antidepressants if this happens again anytime soon.
I know why I had a good day the other day. It's a secret to everybody.
=SC(ZR)=
The music was awesome(emo stuff happened in me, but it didn't affect the awesome music), so-called "Gameboy music" was some of the best I've heard.
I'm noticing a pattern in my behavior that's becoming even more clear. Every time I go out and do something with friends, without one exception, at some point, I get nervous and paranoid, and something random happens, and then I get really self-loathing and depressed. However, as soon as I express it, I feel fine. Great, even.
In this case, tonight at Ground Kontrol, some random portland girl asked if I danced and started yakking at me about dancing and making fun of me. It occured to me later she could have been hitting on me, and after reviewing the transcript of our dialogue, I thought I sounded like a fucking loser. In fact, I had told her,"I'm too much of a loser to dance." I think her name as Krystal or Krissy or something with a K.
I got depressed for the rest of the evening. I reviewed times in the past when I felt uncomfortable in public, unsure of how to act, and wishing Clark offered a "HOW NOT TO BE A FUCKING LOSER" class(I'm sure they would have at least on enrollment). However, on the way home, Bean mentioned that girl, and I got made fun of,"Oh, some random girl was mackin' on Zach?", to which I declared I was a total fucking loser. AT THAT POINT I felt instantly better, to this very moment about an hour later.
I can beat this. But I need to know what it is first. Why do I get all wierd in public/crowds? Why am I so dense? And why do I get depressed UNTIL I express myself about it? I don't really want to, I don't want to get depressed at all, and I don't want everyone to think of me as 'emo'. I'm considering some harsh antidepressants if this happens again anytime soon.
I know why I had a good day the other day. It's a secret to everybody.
=SC(ZR)=