Drrrrrrama
Please review the following and submit a response at your leisure:
Also, the cut contains pronouns, so if you don't want to know the names of any parties involved, I advise not to read the cut.
Here is the long version:
Ever since I got to know her thanks to our awesome math instructor, I got kind of a crush on a friend of mine, Dani. She came with me, Charlotte, and Jason to AX.
A few weeks ago, I tried to ask her out and failed, and tried to tell her how I felt(and failed). I confided in my friends Chris and Mikey about it. I tried to tell Charlotte as well, but I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence.
Shortly thereafter, stuff happened extemely briefly with Charlotte's roommate, Stepanie and myself. I say extremely briefly because she at first gave me the impression she liked me( don't ask how or why - she did and I was 100% certain at the time), and after a week, sort of gave up on me(surprise surpise). I once again set my sights on Dani.
Chris and Mike, at the time, said I should go for it, but get to know her first. We prepared to leave for AX, got everything in order, etc. I put thoughts of telling her anything out of my head. She noticed my mood during my musings and pestered me for what was bothering me. She's pretty good at avoiding certain subjects and changing them. So am I.
I learned, in an indirect way, that she had a boyfriend. I was rather distraught at this piece of knowledge, and in fact, surprised that, in the 7+ months that I've known her, never once mentioned it. What I had up until that point thought to be friendly flirting with me suddenly seemed hollow. This information was further re-inforced by a reliable source. I didn't know what to do about it, though in retrospect I suppose it was my own fault for not asking a bit sooner. As is my standard of quality, I prepared for every possible conclusion but for one, the one that I forgot was the one that got me.
This was after arriving in Anaheim, CA. That night I had a nightmare that I met said man in question, and that he was someone I know and am on bad terms with. In the nightmare, I told everyone what happened and they laughed at me like it was some kind of joke. I told them all to fuck off before jumping in front of a bus. This was also after, in the dream, returning to face Cindy and Keith after what I percieved to be the biggest insult I could have delivered to them, for which I feel nothing but guilt.
My days were strange after that, but I spent time by myself and did my best to enjoy the convention. I enjoyed it up until a point. A word of caution: never, EVER, order drinks from a hotel bar. They have no idea what to mix or how to mix it. I ordered the same thing Charlotte ordered, and what should become of it, but we were drunk in a very short period of time. Dani was instructed to look after me. Everything after this point is to the best of my memory, despite the haze surrounding it.
After spending 5 minutes at a dance and 30 minutes watching "Elven Lied", I went out to my favorite spot: the parking lot on top of the hilton, where we watched the fireworks last year. It was there, after tieing my red "Phoenix Wright" tie around my head like a hachimaki, that I told Dani everything. How Theresa and Deborah had both been badgering me to ask her out. How I felt about her. It was, in retrospect,the worst possible time. Who could take me seriously at a time like that? I remember her laughing. I also remember a few of the things she said to me.
"I like you, but that's never going to happen." Good answer. "You need to go pick up women in bars, instead of going after your friends.","I bet you'll go after Tatiana or Cay next." The last two responses made me angry. I wondered if that was what my friends thought of me, the kind of man who would pick up women in bars. Second, while the girls she mentioned are not exactly my type, I see no problem with dating a friend. It's better, in my opinion, that it's someone you know than a complete stranger. I ranted for a bit, then ran back to the hotel room and tried to sleep.
Somewhere in between, I called an old friend, who's advice kept me from going insane.
That next day, she left to spend the night a friend's house in LA, and my illustrious hosts had other business to attend to elsewhere. I spent the day alone in the room recuperating. I left twice for dinner and to see one of the movies in the viewing rooms(both I wanted to see were canceled). It was not a happy day. But, after she came back, things were surprisingly un-awkward. That is, if there was any awkwardness, it was from me. She helped keep me awake during the drive back home. I apologized, sober, for all my behavior, and afterward tried to put everything out of my head. When I did sleep, I had the same nightmare of cutting my ties with my friends and jumping in front of a bus. Fortunetly, nightmares are more often fears then reality. I hope.
Mikey called me after I returned home. I asked if he knew about Dani's boyfriend, and he knew. I asked how long he knew, and he said for a few months. I asked why he never told me, and he said he wasn't allowed to tell me. In fact, as I understand, Charlotte and Jason knew about it, and Mike knew, and a few others knew. I thought I was one of her good friends, and I was surprised and saddened that she never told me. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and made relating to her a lot easier.
I told him what she told me, about picking up women in bars. He laughed and said,"Oh, that's such a 'Dani' thing to say too." The transcript went as follows:
"She seemed pretty serious at the time."
"Well she was joking."
"It didn't sound like a joke."
"Come on, don't be so serious about it."
It was almost word for word what happened in my nightmare. I stopped myself before it escalated to telling him to fuck off. I was really pissed. He knew how I felt about Dani for weeks, and he kept it from me. Charlotte knew as well, but she gave me fair warning first, so I don't blame her for anything. As was explained to me, she kept her boyfriend, Tadasuke, secret because her grandparents don't approve. I don't blame her either.
Which leaves me where I am now. Dani is my friend, that isn't going to change. I have the same class with her and work in the same lab at the same time. However, people I knew and trusted kept something from me that would have saved me a lot of pain in the long run. Earlier this evening I invited out to sushi with him and Chris, and I had to restrain myself to keep from snapping at every one of his comments.
My feelings are hurt by what I consider a betrayal by someone I considered a close friend and I had confided in. My question is whether this is my own fault, for not asking the right questions at the right time, or if it was inevitable given the people and circumstances involved. I feel gypped, but often feelings represent desires of how we wish the world to be, and not how it truly is.
One final though to add: supposedly, she also never mentions the boy in question because, the last time she did, a guy-friend who also had a crush on her(but was just a friend) turned internet-stalker on her after she mentioned him. Not mentioning him firsthand seems rather backward, again, in that if I had known, none of this would have happened.
Short version: I really liked a girl and wanted to go out with her, told a couple of my friends, and they supported me in it. Then it turned out she has a serious boyfriend. They knew about it for weeks and didn't tell me about it until after I got back from a trip with her. I told them what her response was to me, and they laughed at me like I'm some kind of joke.
Am I in the right here? Or am I a big joke?
=SC(ZR)=
Also, the cut contains pronouns, so if you don't want to know the names of any parties involved, I advise not to read the cut.
Here is the long version:
Ever since I got to know her thanks to our awesome math instructor, I got kind of a crush on a friend of mine, Dani. She came with me, Charlotte, and Jason to AX.
A few weeks ago, I tried to ask her out and failed, and tried to tell her how I felt(and failed). I confided in my friends Chris and Mikey about it. I tried to tell Charlotte as well, but I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence.
Shortly thereafter, stuff happened extemely briefly with Charlotte's roommate, Stepanie and myself. I say extremely briefly because she at first gave me the impression she liked me( don't ask how or why - she did and I was 100% certain at the time), and after a week, sort of gave up on me(surprise surpise). I once again set my sights on Dani.
Chris and Mike, at the time, said I should go for it, but get to know her first. We prepared to leave for AX, got everything in order, etc. I put thoughts of telling her anything out of my head. She noticed my mood during my musings and pestered me for what was bothering me. She's pretty good at avoiding certain subjects and changing them. So am I.
I learned, in an indirect way, that she had a boyfriend. I was rather distraught at this piece of knowledge, and in fact, surprised that, in the 7+ months that I've known her, never once mentioned it. What I had up until that point thought to be friendly flirting with me suddenly seemed hollow. This information was further re-inforced by a reliable source. I didn't know what to do about it, though in retrospect I suppose it was my own fault for not asking a bit sooner. As is my standard of quality, I prepared for every possible conclusion but for one, the one that I forgot was the one that got me.
This was after arriving in Anaheim, CA. That night I had a nightmare that I met said man in question, and that he was someone I know and am on bad terms with. In the nightmare, I told everyone what happened and they laughed at me like it was some kind of joke. I told them all to fuck off before jumping in front of a bus. This was also after, in the dream, returning to face Cindy and Keith after what I percieved to be the biggest insult I could have delivered to them, for which I feel nothing but guilt.
My days were strange after that, but I spent time by myself and did my best to enjoy the convention. I enjoyed it up until a point. A word of caution: never, EVER, order drinks from a hotel bar. They have no idea what to mix or how to mix it. I ordered the same thing Charlotte ordered, and what should become of it, but we were drunk in a very short period of time. Dani was instructed to look after me. Everything after this point is to the best of my memory, despite the haze surrounding it.
After spending 5 minutes at a dance and 30 minutes watching "Elven Lied", I went out to my favorite spot: the parking lot on top of the hilton, where we watched the fireworks last year. It was there, after tieing my red "Phoenix Wright" tie around my head like a hachimaki, that I told Dani everything. How Theresa and Deborah had both been badgering me to ask her out. How I felt about her. It was, in retrospect,the worst possible time. Who could take me seriously at a time like that? I remember her laughing. I also remember a few of the things she said to me.
"I like you, but that's never going to happen." Good answer. "You need to go pick up women in bars, instead of going after your friends.","I bet you'll go after Tatiana or Cay next." The last two responses made me angry. I wondered if that was what my friends thought of me, the kind of man who would pick up women in bars. Second, while the girls she mentioned are not exactly my type, I see no problem with dating a friend. It's better, in my opinion, that it's someone you know than a complete stranger. I ranted for a bit, then ran back to the hotel room and tried to sleep.
Somewhere in between, I called an old friend, who's advice kept me from going insane.
That next day, she left to spend the night a friend's house in LA, and my illustrious hosts had other business to attend to elsewhere. I spent the day alone in the room recuperating. I left twice for dinner and to see one of the movies in the viewing rooms(both I wanted to see were canceled). It was not a happy day. But, after she came back, things were surprisingly un-awkward. That is, if there was any awkwardness, it was from me. She helped keep me awake during the drive back home. I apologized, sober, for all my behavior, and afterward tried to put everything out of my head. When I did sleep, I had the same nightmare of cutting my ties with my friends and jumping in front of a bus. Fortunetly, nightmares are more often fears then reality. I hope.
Mikey called me after I returned home. I asked if he knew about Dani's boyfriend, and he knew. I asked how long he knew, and he said for a few months. I asked why he never told me, and he said he wasn't allowed to tell me. In fact, as I understand, Charlotte and Jason knew about it, and Mike knew, and a few others knew. I thought I was one of her good friends, and I was surprised and saddened that she never told me. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and made relating to her a lot easier.
I told him what she told me, about picking up women in bars. He laughed and said,"Oh, that's such a 'Dani' thing to say too." The transcript went as follows:
"She seemed pretty serious at the time."
"Well she was joking."
"It didn't sound like a joke."
"Come on, don't be so serious about it."
It was almost word for word what happened in my nightmare. I stopped myself before it escalated to telling him to fuck off. I was really pissed. He knew how I felt about Dani for weeks, and he kept it from me. Charlotte knew as well, but she gave me fair warning first, so I don't blame her for anything. As was explained to me, she kept her boyfriend, Tadasuke, secret because her grandparents don't approve. I don't blame her either.
Which leaves me where I am now. Dani is my friend, that isn't going to change. I have the same class with her and work in the same lab at the same time. However, people I knew and trusted kept something from me that would have saved me a lot of pain in the long run. Earlier this evening I invited out to sushi with him and Chris, and I had to restrain myself to keep from snapping at every one of his comments.
My feelings are hurt by what I consider a betrayal by someone I considered a close friend and I had confided in. My question is whether this is my own fault, for not asking the right questions at the right time, or if it was inevitable given the people and circumstances involved. I feel gypped, but often feelings represent desires of how we wish the world to be, and not how it truly is.
One final though to add: supposedly, she also never mentions the boy in question because, the last time she did, a guy-friend who also had a crush on her(but was just a friend) turned internet-stalker on her after she mentioned him. Not mentioning him firsthand seems rather backward, again, in that if I had known, none of this would have happened.
Short version: I really liked a girl and wanted to go out with her, told a couple of my friends, and they supported me in it. Then it turned out she has a serious boyfriend. They knew about it for weeks and didn't tell me about it until after I got back from a trip with her. I told them what her response was to me, and they laughed at me like I'm some kind of joke.
Am I in the right here? Or am I a big joke?
=SC(ZR)=