(Untitled)

[trakkie]

Comments

*squee*

[seraphcelene]

This is absolutely gorgeous! I loved the tactile nature of it, it was so real and so present!

She curls into the co-pilot's chair, one leg stretching to hook her naked toes on the console's edge.

Her fingers weave in the grate, in her dress, in his guts.

This was just so beautiful. Gorgeous imagery and it so sharply true that it hurts.

I think that my favorite line is:
The pieces of her that are River Tam, the ones untouched by needles or Reaver blood, are sharp and clear as glass

The ending is so softly gut-wrenching I just don't know what to do.

Excellent job!!

Re: *squee*

[decidedly]

I'm thrilled you enjoyed the story, and thank you muchly for the feedback. Mal/River was a big time challenge for me because I couldn't get past my own perceptions of their relationship and why I feel they are the penultimate of unrequited love. Luckily, the request for angst made it easier on me. ;) (I even briefly considered doing the Wash/Zoe at one point, but it's not in me to write those two, I fear. Sad, because I adore them so.)

The husband made a comment about Mal and Inara being given to cliches/quips/verbal ditties more than the other members of the crew because it allows them to maintain distance from others (Inara in her job, Mal with everyone); he claims they can never get together because the universe would implode from all the hot air. But he had a point, and I incorporated that into the dialogue of the story -- particularly Mal's. I wasn't sure it would work, and I'm still not sure, but there it is

[_minxy_]

Oh, he is trying so hard to do something he really needn't resist, isnt' he? It's so bittersweet. One day, he'll realize all his reasons are misty and that River has just been waiting for him.

I also love the Mal and Inara relationship of confiding in each other.

[decidedly]

I love the idea of longing being the main event for these two. River's a teenage girl and can build entire living, breathing fantasies around Mal no matter how aware she is that a relationship is impossible.

As for Mal and Inara...I like the idea of Inara watching River watching Mal. Just seems very "her".

Thanks for the feedback.

[musesfool]

Oh, this is lovely.

[decidedly]

Thank you!

[pixeldimensia]

Absolutely gorgeous.

[decidedly]

Thanks so much!

[obsidianagirl]

Was disturbed to find out i never left feedback...*smacks head to desk*

I loved the images you used. I liked the thought that River knows about his notions and she binds them to him so that he can't forget...Lovely...and the end when she asks him to tell her a story...wonderful...he touches her the only way he knows how...*sniff*

Sid

[decidedly]

It's okay -- I was none the wiser. ;)

Thank you for the feedback! And reading the story at all. I really do appreciate it.