HAHAHHAA!!!!
Here goes for being multi-racial... :-D
You Know You're Japanese When....
You're obsessed with your hair, your car, and your clothes
You want to marry a Korean American or Chinese American woman (males); or you want to marry a white guy (females).
You know that Camp doesn't mean a cabin in the woods.
Your Issei grandparents had an arranged marriage.
One of your relatives was a "picture bride."
You have relatives who live in Hawaii.
You belong to a Japanese credit union
Wherever you live now, you always come home to the Obon festival.
The bushes in your front yard are trimmed into balls.
You have a kaki tree in the backyard.
You have at least one bag of sembei in the house at all times.
You have a Japanese doll in a glass case in your living room.
You have a nekko cat in your house for good luck.
You have large Japanese platters in your china cabinet.
You have the family mon and Japanese needlepoint on the wall.
You own a multicolored lime green polyester patchwork quilt.
Your grandma used to crochet all your blankets, potholders and dishtowels.
You check to see if you need to take off your shoes at your friends' houses.
When you visit other Japanese, you give or receive a bag of fruits or vegetables.
When you visit other Japanese, you know that you should bring omiage.
When you leave a Japanese person's house, you take leftover food home on a paper plate or a Styrofoam meat tray.
You keep a supply of rubber bands, twist ties, butter and tofu containers in the kitchen.
You know that Pat Morita doesn't really speak like Mr. Miyagi.
You're mad because Kristi Yamaguchi should have gotten more commercial endorsements than Nancy Kerrigan.
When your back is sore, you use Tiger Balm or that flexi-stick with the rubber ball on the end that goes, "katonk," "katonk."
After funerals, you go for Chinameshi.
After giving koden, you get stamps in the mail.
You fight fiercely for the check after dinner.
You've hidden money in the pocket of the person who paid for dinner.
You don't need to read the instructions on the proper use of hashi.
You eat soba on New Year's Eve.
You start off the new year with a bowl of ozoni for good luck and the mochi sticks to the roof of your mouth.
You pack bento for road trips.
Your grandma made the best sushi in town.
You cut all your carrots and hot dogs at an angle.
You know the virtues of SPAM.
You know what it means to eat "footballs."
You grew up eating ambrosia, wontons and finger Jell-O at family potlucks.
You always use Best Foods mayonnaise and like to mix it with shoyu to dip broccoli.
You use the "finger method" to measure the water for your rice cooker.
You grew up on rice: bacon fried rice, chili rice, curry rice or red rice.
You like to eat rice with your spaghetti.
You can't start eating until you have a bowl of rice.
Along with salt and pepper, you have a shoyu dispenser at your table.
You buy rice 25 pounds at a time and shoyu a gallon at a time.
Natto: you either love it or hate it.
As a kid, you used to eat Botan rice candy.
You have a pet named Chibi or Shiro.
omeone you know, owns an Akita or Shiba dog.
At school, you had those Hello Kitty pencil boxes and sweet smelling erasers.
Milk makes you queasy and alcohol turns your face red.
Your dad owns a Member's Only jacket.
Someone you know drives an Acura Integra, Honda Accord or Toyota Camry.
You used to own one of those miniature zori keychains
You have a kaeru frog or good luck charm hanging in your car.
Your parents compare you to their friends' kids.
Your dentist, doctor and optometrist is Japanese American.
Whenever you're with more than three people, it takes an hour to decide where to eat.
You've heard your name pronounced a half-dozen different ways.
You know that E.O. 9066 isn't a zip code.
In the bathroom you have a crocheted toilet paper cover.
You know the California Hotel is not located in California.
No matter how bad your Japanese is, you still know the words shi-shi and oon-chi.
You have, at one time or another, helped fold 1,000 cranes for someone's wedding or anniversary.
When you meet another JA, you can be sure you're either related to them or know someone who knows them.
You have one of those "always hot" rice cookers in your kitchen.
You were told to eat nori so your hair would be black.
You say "itadakimasu" before you eat.
You know to stop yelling when you hear the word "yakamashii."
You compliment a person from Japan on how well they speak English, and they compliment you on how well you speak Japanese, and you both know you're kind of stretching things.
You know you don't need a spoon for miso soup.
The ultimate Chinese dinner for you includes: seaweed soup, chicken chow mein, chashu, pakkai, shrimp with lobster sauce, almond duck, pea chow yuk and homyu.
You know that summer means it's time for somen and shaved ice with azuki beans.
Your dad's front lawn is his pride and joy - to the point of obsession.
You're proud to be Japanese - and you pass these jokes on to all your Japanese friends!
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You Know You're Mexican When....
You have ever been hit by a chancla.
You grew up scared by something called "El Cucuy."
Others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking.
You light a candle on the night of the Lotto drawing.
You use your lips to point something out.
You constantly refer to cereal as "con fleis".
Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if it's a one bedroom apartment.
You can dance ranchera, cumbia or salsa without music.
You use "manteca" (lard) instead of olive oil and can't figure out why your butt is getting bigger.
You call your sneakers "tenees".
You have at least thirty cousins.
You can't imagine anyone not liking spicy food.
You are in a 5-passenger car with 7 people in it and a person shouting "subanse, todavia caben".
Whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some "Vics" vapor rub all over your chest and inside your nostrils.
Your mom packs your "lonchera" everyday.
You or someone you know uses "Tres Flores" in their hair.
Tamales, champurrado, posole and menudo are must haves on Thanksgiving.
There is more Budweiser than punch at little Juanito's birthday party.
There is at least one member in your family name Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus.
Everyone still thinks Cesar Chavez is the best boxer even if he lost against Oscar De La Hoya.
You've gone to the Pulgamarket every weekend for years.
You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on/under the TV.
You have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha, or elephant in your living room.
You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas.
You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it.
You have a drunk uncle/aunt.
You're still afraid to open that umbrella in your house.
You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tio.
Your mother, tia or hermana's hair is blackcherry, "Sun in" red or a burgundy that would make Celia Cruz jealous.
You always try to find out what town another fellow Latino's family is from.
You have ever had to "beepiar" a friend on their pager.
You wear your Sunday best to do laundry at the laundrymat and go grocery shopping.
You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.
You go to a wedding or Quiencienera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first to take a plato to go.
You have a bottle of Tapatio in your purse.
Your cousins are delinquents / hootchies.
You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca" who's bigger than a house.
You think Cristina trumps Oprah any day.
You have a cousin named "Guero" who's darker than night.
You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious.
You need to point out how much something you just bought cost.
You go to a white friends house for dinner and don't understand the concept of sitting at a table.
You've tried to bring a mango back to the US from Mexico, and a bonus point if you actually made it all the way home with it.
You have a bottle of Bacardi or Tequila in your house right now.
You drive a "Cheby", an "Ohsmobeel" or a "Bolswahgon"
You're proud to be Mexican - and you pass these jokes on to all your Mexican friends!
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You Know You're Irish When....
The condensation on your pint of Guinness takes the shape of shamrocks
You don't believe there is a God, but you are damn sure of the infallibility of the Pope.
You believe that to forgive is divine, but you don't excercise it yourself.
You won't eat meat on Friday, but you'll drink a pint for breakfast.
You consider any Irishman who has become successful a traitor.
You have great respect for the truth, and you only use it in emergencies.
The further you get from Ireland, the more Irish you get.
You eat homefried taters for brakfast, potato bread for lunch, and potato stew for dinner.
You cry at sad movies, but you cheer in battle.
You will never play professional basketball.
You swear very well.
You think you sing very well.
There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.
You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.
You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.
Much of your food is boiled.
You are, or know someone, named "Murph." If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.
Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.
There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
You're proud to be Irish - and you pass these jokes on to all your Irish friends!
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How true this stuff is!!! Though I did get pissed because they kept confusing Japanese with Chinese -- We won't pay more than $4 for some rolls of sushi.
EDIT: GO CLASH!! It's Not Sex. It's ... :
Rockin the Casbah
Get your own Sex Name