Promise of afterlife in Islam
I was talking recently about the theory that the Koran says martyrs will get 72 virgins when they die - or white raisins. Here are the fruits [groan] of my research.
The "72" figure is from a "hadith" (sayings of Mohammed). There is the Koran and the Hadith. Hadiths are things other people heard Mohammed say. Some of them are from as recently as 1500 AD and even Muslims admit that many of them are from an unreliable source. It was one of these that mentioned the 72 "virgins" - a 4th hand account! So it seems that the number is unreliable.
Note also that at no stage are the rewards of heaven limited to martyrs. Ordinary dead people are entitled to this treatment too. In fact I can't find specific heavenly rewards for martyrs referenced anywhere, even in the hadiths.
The Koran describes heaven as having "houri" waiting for you. In Arabic, this means "beautiful-eyed virgin (of either sex)". There was a book put out in 2001 by a German author who studied the ancient language of Syriac (a dialect of Aramaic, the language Jesus spoke). If you try to read the Koran not as Arabic but as Arabic with Syriac words thrown in, then some passages are changed. Since Arabic didn't have a written language in Mohammedan times, this is a likely scenario. In Syriac "houri" indeed meant white raisins (literally, "whites"), which were an expensive delicacy at the time: like frankincense or myrrh. Certainly a treat people would enjoy if given them for all eternity.
As for the Koran mentioning "houri" in the context of "marriage, breasts, sexual pleasure, beautiful eyes" - you may find that some people try to debunk the raisin theory by substituting "raisin" for "virgin" with bizarre results, e.g.
at 6:24 "And there will be companions with beautiful, big, and lustrous eyes, - like unto Pearls well-guarded. A Reward for the deeds of their past (life)."
Obviously, if you put "raisin" in for companions, it doesn't work.
Again
at 6:55 "Surely for the godfearing awaits a place of security, gardens and vineyards and maidens with swelling breasts, like of age, and a cup overflowing."
Replacing "maidens" with "raisins" doesn't work.
However, something important to note here. The attributes of the girls are in fact implicit in the meaning of "houri". The word has quite a number of nuances to it which make it hard to translate into English. So the translators have added these nuances with extra text. References to swollen/firm breasts, big eyes, of like age (i.e. the same age as you), are in fact not in the text and are simply implicit meanings of "houri". So in order to fully replace "houri" with raisin, you need to get rid of these extra bits. The text makes a lot more sense then:
6:24 "And there will be [white raisins], - like unto Pearls well-guarded. A Reward for the deeds of their past (life)." [The raisins, being swollen and white, do indeed look like pearls.]
6:55 "Surely for the godfearing awaits a place of security, gardens and vineyards and [white raisins], and a cup overflowing."
Your treats are food-based, not sex. Pity the later commenters got carried away (read the bit about "The erection is eternal" and have a chuckle.)
Here is a full list of all the nuances of the Arabic word "houri":
"(splendid) companions of equal age (well-matched), "lovely eyed", of "modest gaze", "voluptuous women","pure beings" or "companions pure".
Why so many nuances, and lack of clarity? Remember the Koran was written in Old Arabic, not modern, and people aren't totally sure what some of the words mean.
So what we have here is that the 70 or 72 (variously) number is from an unreliable hadith, special treatment for martyrs is never mentioned at all, and the "white raisin" rendering of "houri" is entirely possible if the author in fact meant a Syriac rather than an Arabic word, and the implicit meanings of houri are removed in their entirety. Note that the academic community is out on this; the German guy's book hasn't really been accepted as a standard text yet. Might need more people weighing in behind it. I've checked Snopes which doesn't have anything about this issue.
So what does that leave us with? "All good Muslims that make it to heaven will get fruit, wine, and white raisin treats for all eternity."
SUICIDE BOMBERS, ARE YOU HEARING THIS?
P.S. Brilliant discussion thread here.
Highlights: "I could have gotten that on a flight to Toledo!"
"I was martyred, and all I got was this t-shirt and a stinking bowl of grapes!"
That's so going on a T-shirt :)
The "72" figure is from a "hadith" (sayings of Mohammed). There is the Koran and the Hadith. Hadiths are things other people heard Mohammed say. Some of them are from as recently as 1500 AD and even Muslims admit that many of them are from an unreliable source. It was one of these that mentioned the 72 "virgins" - a 4th hand account! So it seems that the number is unreliable.
Note also that at no stage are the rewards of heaven limited to martyrs. Ordinary dead people are entitled to this treatment too. In fact I can't find specific heavenly rewards for martyrs referenced anywhere, even in the hadiths.
The Koran describes heaven as having "houri" waiting for you. In Arabic, this means "beautiful-eyed virgin (of either sex)". There was a book put out in 2001 by a German author who studied the ancient language of Syriac (a dialect of Aramaic, the language Jesus spoke). If you try to read the Koran not as Arabic but as Arabic with Syriac words thrown in, then some passages are changed. Since Arabic didn't have a written language in Mohammedan times, this is a likely scenario. In Syriac "houri" indeed meant white raisins (literally, "whites"), which were an expensive delicacy at the time: like frankincense or myrrh. Certainly a treat people would enjoy if given them for all eternity.
As for the Koran mentioning "houri" in the context of "marriage, breasts, sexual pleasure, beautiful eyes" - you may find that some people try to debunk the raisin theory by substituting "raisin" for "virgin" with bizarre results, e.g.
at 6:24 "And there will be companions with beautiful, big, and lustrous eyes, - like unto Pearls well-guarded. A Reward for the deeds of their past (life)."
Obviously, if you put "raisin" in for companions, it doesn't work.
Again
at 6:55 "Surely for the godfearing awaits a place of security, gardens and vineyards and maidens with swelling breasts, like of age, and a cup overflowing."
Replacing "maidens" with "raisins" doesn't work.
However, something important to note here. The attributes of the girls are in fact implicit in the meaning of "houri". The word has quite a number of nuances to it which make it hard to translate into English. So the translators have added these nuances with extra text. References to swollen/firm breasts, big eyes, of like age (i.e. the same age as you), are in fact not in the text and are simply implicit meanings of "houri". So in order to fully replace "houri" with raisin, you need to get rid of these extra bits. The text makes a lot more sense then:
6:24 "And there will be [white raisins], - like unto Pearls well-guarded. A Reward for the deeds of their past (life)." [The raisins, being swollen and white, do indeed look like pearls.]
6:55 "Surely for the godfearing awaits a place of security, gardens and vineyards and [white raisins], and a cup overflowing."
Your treats are food-based, not sex. Pity the later commenters got carried away (read the bit about "The erection is eternal" and have a chuckle.)
Here is a full list of all the nuances of the Arabic word "houri":
"(splendid) companions of equal age (well-matched), "lovely eyed", of "modest gaze", "voluptuous women","pure beings" or "companions pure".
Why so many nuances, and lack of clarity? Remember the Koran was written in Old Arabic, not modern, and people aren't totally sure what some of the words mean.
So what we have here is that the 70 or 72 (variously) number is from an unreliable hadith, special treatment for martyrs is never mentioned at all, and the "white raisin" rendering of "houri" is entirely possible if the author in fact meant a Syriac rather than an Arabic word, and the implicit meanings of houri are removed in their entirety. Note that the academic community is out on this; the German guy's book hasn't really been accepted as a standard text yet. Might need more people weighing in behind it. I've checked Snopes which doesn't have anything about this issue.
So what does that leave us with? "All good Muslims that make it to heaven will get fruit, wine, and white raisin treats for all eternity."
SUICIDE BOMBERS, ARE YOU HEARING THIS?
P.S. Brilliant discussion thread here.
Highlights: "I could have gotten that on a flight to Toledo!"
"I was martyred, and all I got was this t-shirt and a stinking bowl of grapes!"
That's so going on a T-shirt :)