fuck this

[spandrelina]

Soooooooo, apparently a cake and a photographer are "ridiculous luxuries meant  for rich girls", according to my father. I got yelled at for fifteen minutes on how "ridiculous" I am and how "stupid" this whole " useless wedding crap" is and how I am "crazy" to think that a father would be interested in any of this

Comments

[wookiecess]

Oh holy geezus.
Umm...no, Father Dear, a WEDDING is a CELEBRATION of two people in LOVE dedicating themselves to ONE ANOTHER and TO NO ONE ELSE.
IT IS SOMETHING THAT, IF LUCKY, HAPPENS ONLY ONCE IN A LIFETIME.
It is not about how much you are spending, where to get the best of everything, making sure everyone succumbs to the bride's needs, etc.
IT IS ABOUT LOVE.

I want to do some of my wedding out of pocket because it'll be worth it in the end but my parents gave me 10k (which is MORE than generous, let me tell you because I figured they would pay for my dress and that was it) to do what I need to do for the wedding.

Your dad sounds a lot like MY dad, so don't worry.
EXTREMELY frugal and a penny-pincher.

Don't worry, sweetie, ALL DADS are like that...I'm just shocked your dad verbalized his.

[spandrelina]

I know. The sick part is that I am supposed to let him walk me down the aisle when, honestly, I would rather walk down the aisle by myself. He doesn't even want to do it anyway! I wanted to say "Dad, I am sorry that both of your marriages have been cause of such misery and regret, but mine is about love and I would like to have photographs to show my grandchildren thankyouverymuch."

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. He just doesn't want anything to do with this.

On the other hand, 10K is fabulous!!! Congrats!!! Your wedding is going to be gorgeous. Remember to let me know if you need help with absolutely anything!

[wookiecess]

Yeah, that's the precise reason why I am NOT inviting my father (biological, not legal) to the wedding and having my legal father (Joe) walk me down the aisle. Because, lo and behold, my biological father (Mike) would probably get drunk and make comments like, "Keep tags on your stuff so when you divorce, you know whose is who's..." or something along those lines. My biological dad has two failed marriages himself whereas Joe has kept his for over a decade. It can't be THAT hard--but then again, hell, I wouldn't want to live with Mike.

If your father insists on not having anything to do with it, then let him.
That's what I said.
Screw politeness, if he's going to be a drain on yours and Matt's big day, then he doesn't deserve to be invited.
He may like it better that way.

On the other hand, you will be surrounded by supportive people and those that love you and want to see you happy and that's all that really matters.

I'll keep ya in mind for future wedding thingies.

On a different note, what are you doing the second weekend in

[spandrelina]

I know, and I agree- but the only reason we are getting married on the island is so he can come because he is too old to travel, so I wish he were a bit more considerate. Ugh. Im sorry to hear that your BioDad is such a jerk as well...

Second week of November? I dunno, what am I doing? :)

[savateuse]

Hey, since I wont be able to come to your wedding and still need to get you a wedding gift can I buy your cake for you? Do you have a bakery picked out and an idea of what you want? how many people atttending? Good cakes are wicked expensive, Id love to be able to do that for you if you would let me. =)

[spandrelina]

*speechless*

[spandrelina]

Amanda, my head is spinning with your offer. I don't know what to say. Gaga goo goo.

[savateuse]

I mean it, once you figure out what bakery you are using, give me their information so I can give them a call and Ill make arrangements with them, you just go see them and pick out whatever you want.

[bttrflyscar]

It sucks that some people don't see it that way, but some of us do...and don't want to do a flame thread about how we disagree with you.
Good luck in what happens and remember, all you are asking is one day out of your entire life when you get to celebrate something meaningful to you without other people stomping allover it. He has no right to do this.
None.

you are too sweet for words

[spandrelina]

Thank you- that means so much to me. I can't believe that girl went off on me, especially after it was made clear to her that she had read it incorrectly she still pushed on... I dug her up on myspace and she is a weirdo anyway. However, the rage she inspired in me certainly did not help immediately after the blow from my father. I wanted to claw her eyes out! (Verbally, that is.) So yeah, you coming here and saying that means a huge whole heck of a lot. And you are right, it is just one day. One little day, not even a whole 24 hours. I just have to keep reminding myself that even if he doesn't think I deserve it, I am totally worth it.
Thank you *hug*