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[spanishplaya]

What a crazy week. Wow school seriously needs to be over. The weather I have to admit though has been nice. Ninety freakin degrees out damn prolly hottest its ever been in May in a while. I'm going to Annapolis in a week wow its crazy how fast this thing showed up. All week I've been working on paperwork with my mom, writing essays and at the

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[living2b_lonely]

I know we haven't talked in a really long time. The last month has been crazy between us and you have every right to be angry at me for what I've done, I know it was cruel and horrible. I was angry, I was hurt, I was embarrassed, and I was scared. And that day, when I told you all that and then signed off on you, I cried for the rest of the afternoon. But I realized how serious it was getting between us and I felt like we shouldn't be more than friends and yet it was impossible to remain friends because of our emotions. In a way, I guess I have moved on, but at the same time I haven't. Reading your LJ posts, and thinking about the past sometimes rips into my heart. and yes, watching Revenge of the Sith with the moments between Anakin and Padme were hard. In a way, I think that they are alot like us. Afraid of losing eachother, and then eventually their worst fears become real, and they are both unhappy

Spring the trap heh heh

[spanishplaya]

I blocked you when I was angry at you. I have no friends hon and this is no cry for pity ot sympathy once again. It is the honest truth it is hard for me to make friends at River because the majority of the people I am around are involved in things that I am not. I don't want you to be my girlfriend I just want you as a friend. I have one one hon and I feel like going to this military thing is the reason. There is no direction for me and I know that if I prayed more I would get some direction. I cried last night after I signed off with Kelsey because I just realized how much I missed you and everything we had. I just want a friend. You understood me above anyone else. Now as I watch Kory sink into oblivion with his obsession with marijuana I feel sad. I try so hard to get him to stop. It did hurt what you did to me it still does. All I want is to be friends nothing more. I understand your needs and all I want is someone to talk to.