I Will Try To Find My Place (Chapter 4) 4/?
Title:I Will Try To Find My Place
Author: spark13223
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Ryden (Ryan Ross/ Brendon Urie)
POV: 3rd
Summery:
Brendon Urie is the boy who just wants life to work out for him. Ryan Ross is the boy who needs a guitarist in his band. Fate connects them through some friends and they fall into a spiral of love, want, beatings, self-harm and each other.
Beta: pigcity13
Disclaimer: Not true to my knowledge ;)
Author's Note: Enjoy! :) Title from Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin. I've been wanting to post this for a while I just didn't know what to name it. Thank you music for giving me inspiration. :D
PREVIOUS CHAPTERS HERE
Ryan speeds off to Brendon’s school in his silver convertible mustang. He is in love with his car. When he picked Brendon up earlier Brendon’s jaw almost fell off his face. He pulls up in front of the school and sees Brendon coming towards his car. He smiles and waves at Brendon.
Brendon’s face lights up and he waves back.
Before Brendon can even get close to Ryan’s car, Ryan hears someone yell out, “HEY FAG!” Ryan looks over and sees five large guys come over and circle Brendon. Ryan gets out of his car and starts walking over there. He sees Brendon mumble something. One guy starts pushing him. They all push him around and pass him to each other. Ryan is fucking pissed. No one messes with his vocalist/ boyfriend.
“HEY!” The guys turn towards him. Ryan stalks up to them. “Leave him alone!”
“Wow Urine, you got your boyfriend fighting your battles now huh?” Ryan looks at Brendon who’s just looking down in shame. Ryan feels so bad. Brendon gets bullied? How long has this been going on for? Why doesn’t anyone help him?
“Ryan Ross?!” Ryan turns to a boy who looks familiar.
“Alex?” Alex Duke gives him a huge smile.
“Hey Ross! What have you been up to?”
“Not much. Would you please like to tell me why you’re beating my friend?”
“What, you’re friends with Urine here?”
“Don’t call him that,” growls Ryan.
“Whoa there boy,” laughs Alex. “We’re just having fun with him.” Ryan looks down at Brendon who still won’t meet his eyes.
“Well he’s not having fun. So Lay. Off.” Ryan leans down. “Bren, you ok?” Brendon nods. Ryan helps him up. “Oh Alex. If I EVER hear that you’re hurting him again, I will come after you. Understand,” hisses Ryan. Alex nods; looking scared. “Good. Leave him alone!”
Ryan grabs Brendon’s wrist and pulls him towards his car. Brendon slides in and the two of them drive off.
“Thanks Ry,” he mutters. Ryan smiles.
“No problem. Are you sure you’re ok?” Brendon bites his lip and he looks like he’s about to cry. “Bren, are you alright?” Brendon shakes his head as tears start to drip down his face. Ryan pulls into a McDonald’s parking lot. He pulls Brendon into a hug.
“No. No. Nothing is alright!” Ryan pulls him close.
“Hey, hey, you’re going to be ok Bren.”
“No Ry, I’m not!” Before Ryan can say anything, Brendon is clicking the button to roll up the top of the car. He then pull down his pants and exposes his thigh. “I’m not alright ok?!” Ryan looks down and wants to cry at what he sees.
Brendon has countless red cuts and scars scattering his thighs. Some look healed, but some look as recent as a few days ago. Brendon sits back and sobs. “Brendon, how- why!?”
“It’s the only thing that helps,” sobs Brendon. “Nothing goes right for me. My family is super religious, and I’m gay or bi or whatever. I try to be a good student, and I get made fun of every day. It can’t do it Ryan! I can’t!” Ryan crawls across the gear box and sits in Brendon’s lap.
“Brendon you can. You’re stronger than you think. You’ve dealt with it this long, maybe not in the right way, but you’re still alive. You’re so strong and you have so many good qualities. You just have to make everyone see you the way I do. Except for the romantic part. I don’t want anyone stealing you from me.” Brendon laughs wetly. He buries his head in Ryan’s neck. Ryan pulls his pants up.
“Thank you. Not only for sticking up for me, but also for dealing with me the past few weeks.” Ryan kisses him.
“I wouldn’t not hang out with you ever.” Brendon giggles and kisses Ryan on the nose. “You’re so cute. You want some ice cream?” Brendon claps.
“Pretty please RyRy?” Ryan laughs and pulls Brendon into the Mc Donald’s to get him some ice cream.
******************************************************************************************************************************************
“Thank you soooo much Ry!” Ryan grins at the hyperactive boy next to him.
“No problem. Oh and you got a little.” Ryan gesture towards his face.
“Where,” asks Brendon confused. Ryan sticks his finger in Brendon’s ice cream and then dabs some on his nose.
“There.” Brendon giggles. Ryan kisses Brendon’s nose and licks it away. “All gone.”
“You just slightly licked me you dip wad,” laughs Brendon. “Are you trying to give my nose a hickey or something?”
“No, but there are a few other places on you that I would like to give hickeys.” Brendon blushes.
“RYAN! You dirty boy! Later,” growls Brendon. Ryan’s eyes widen because wow! Brendon’s growl is hot. That statement itself was really hot.
“Ok, how are you so innocent, yet so hot?” Brendon blushes again and grabs Ryan’s hand under the table.
“Because… I’m your… boyfriend?” Ryan smiles.
“We are defiantly boyfriends,” demands Ryan. Brendon grins and hugs Ryan. “What’s that for?”
“For making me so happy.” Ryan feels Brendon crying again.
“Bren, what’s wrong?” Brendon pulls away, but he’s smiling.
“Nothing. You just make me that happy.” Ryan smiles and hugs his boyfriend right back.
Author: spark13223
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Ryden (Ryan Ross/ Brendon Urie)
POV: 3rd
Summery:
Brendon Urie is the boy who just wants life to work out for him. Ryan Ross is the boy who needs a guitarist in his band. Fate connects them through some friends and they fall into a spiral of love, want, beatings, self-harm and each other.
Beta: pigcity13
Disclaimer: Not true to my knowledge ;)
Author's Note: Enjoy! :) Title from Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin. I've been wanting to post this for a while I just didn't know what to name it. Thank you music for giving me inspiration. :D
PREVIOUS CHAPTERS HERE
Ryan speeds off to Brendon’s school in his silver convertible mustang. He is in love with his car. When he picked Brendon up earlier Brendon’s jaw almost fell off his face. He pulls up in front of the school and sees Brendon coming towards his car. He smiles and waves at Brendon.
Brendon’s face lights up and he waves back.
Before Brendon can even get close to Ryan’s car, Ryan hears someone yell out, “HEY FAG!” Ryan looks over and sees five large guys come over and circle Brendon. Ryan gets out of his car and starts walking over there. He sees Brendon mumble something. One guy starts pushing him. They all push him around and pass him to each other. Ryan is fucking pissed. No one messes with his vocalist/ boyfriend.
“HEY!” The guys turn towards him. Ryan stalks up to them. “Leave him alone!”
“Wow Urine, you got your boyfriend fighting your battles now huh?” Ryan looks at Brendon who’s just looking down in shame. Ryan feels so bad. Brendon gets bullied? How long has this been going on for? Why doesn’t anyone help him?
“Ryan Ross?!” Ryan turns to a boy who looks familiar.
“Alex?” Alex Duke gives him a huge smile.
“Hey Ross! What have you been up to?”
“Not much. Would you please like to tell me why you’re beating my friend?”
“What, you’re friends with Urine here?”
“Don’t call him that,” growls Ryan.
“Whoa there boy,” laughs Alex. “We’re just having fun with him.” Ryan looks down at Brendon who still won’t meet his eyes.
“Well he’s not having fun. So Lay. Off.” Ryan leans down. “Bren, you ok?” Brendon nods. Ryan helps him up. “Oh Alex. If I EVER hear that you’re hurting him again, I will come after you. Understand,” hisses Ryan. Alex nods; looking scared. “Good. Leave him alone!”
Ryan grabs Brendon’s wrist and pulls him towards his car. Brendon slides in and the two of them drive off.
“Thanks Ry,” he mutters. Ryan smiles.
“No problem. Are you sure you’re ok?” Brendon bites his lip and he looks like he’s about to cry. “Bren, are you alright?” Brendon shakes his head as tears start to drip down his face. Ryan pulls into a McDonald’s parking lot. He pulls Brendon into a hug.
“No. No. Nothing is alright!” Ryan pulls him close.
“Hey, hey, you’re going to be ok Bren.”
“No Ry, I’m not!” Before Ryan can say anything, Brendon is clicking the button to roll up the top of the car. He then pull down his pants and exposes his thigh. “I’m not alright ok?!” Ryan looks down and wants to cry at what he sees.
Brendon has countless red cuts and scars scattering his thighs. Some look healed, but some look as recent as a few days ago. Brendon sits back and sobs. “Brendon, how- why!?”
“It’s the only thing that helps,” sobs Brendon. “Nothing goes right for me. My family is super religious, and I’m gay or bi or whatever. I try to be a good student, and I get made fun of every day. It can’t do it Ryan! I can’t!” Ryan crawls across the gear box and sits in Brendon’s lap.
“Brendon you can. You’re stronger than you think. You’ve dealt with it this long, maybe not in the right way, but you’re still alive. You’re so strong and you have so many good qualities. You just have to make everyone see you the way I do. Except for the romantic part. I don’t want anyone stealing you from me.” Brendon laughs wetly. He buries his head in Ryan’s neck. Ryan pulls his pants up.
“Thank you. Not only for sticking up for me, but also for dealing with me the past few weeks.” Ryan kisses him.
“I wouldn’t not hang out with you ever.” Brendon giggles and kisses Ryan on the nose. “You’re so cute. You want some ice cream?” Brendon claps.
“Pretty please RyRy?” Ryan laughs and pulls Brendon into the Mc Donald’s to get him some ice cream.
******************************************************************************************************************************************
“Thank you soooo much Ry!” Ryan grins at the hyperactive boy next to him.
“No problem. Oh and you got a little.” Ryan gesture towards his face.
“Where,” asks Brendon confused. Ryan sticks his finger in Brendon’s ice cream and then dabs some on his nose.
“There.” Brendon giggles. Ryan kisses Brendon’s nose and licks it away. “All gone.”
“You just slightly licked me you dip wad,” laughs Brendon. “Are you trying to give my nose a hickey or something?”
“No, but there are a few other places on you that I would like to give hickeys.” Brendon blushes.
“RYAN! You dirty boy! Later,” growls Brendon. Ryan’s eyes widen because wow! Brendon’s growl is hot. That statement itself was really hot.
“Ok, how are you so innocent, yet so hot?” Brendon blushes again and grabs Ryan’s hand under the table.
“Because… I’m your… boyfriend?” Ryan smiles.
“We are defiantly boyfriends,” demands Ryan. Brendon grins and hugs Ryan. “What’s that for?”
“For making me so happy.” Ryan feels Brendon crying again.
“Bren, what’s wrong?” Brendon pulls away, but he’s smiling.
“Nothing. You just make me that happy.” Ryan smiles and hugs his boyfriend right back.