Fic: Sunglasses, Chapter 4

[sparkestra]

Title: Sunglasses
Overall Rating: Worksafe, if nothing else. So far there's a bit of swearing from Garp but nothing really naughty. 
Word Count: Looooong.
Pairing: CobyMeppo <3
Summary: When Coby is promoted ahead of Helmeppo in the Navy, Helmeppo's reaction is strong to say the least. Is it envy...or something more?
Notes: Took too long to produce and

Comments

[hinas_otaku]

(I think you showed me the beginning of this before - I remember that bit about the flies cracking me up. It cracked me up again XD)

I don't see that there's any reason not to be happy with this. I know not an awful lot happens, but it seems to me to be setting the stage for a whole lot more action. You do sometimes need "linking" chapters in longer fics like this. And it left me *dying* to know what will happen next! The almost hug earlier, and then Helmeppo being so excited about Coby coming to see him; and then they just go and argue before Coby has to go away ;_; I just want to bang their heads together and force them to kiss and make up!!

When you going to cross-post these to some other comms? onepieceyaoi seems to be the best comm for comments...

[sparkestra]

(Ah bless Laura and her antics - the thing with the flies really struck me as something Helmeppo would do too XD. )

You know me, I'm never satisfied with anything I write (even more so since I joined LJ - the quality of fanfiction here is astoundingly high). Hopefully, if all goes to plan, a lot more will happen in the next chapter.

I wasn't planning on posting this up on the comms until I had another chapter written but since I'm unlikely to get anything constructive back off The Pit, I might do it fairly soon.

[hinas_otaku]

Yeah you definitely shoud post this to onepieceyaoi. Maybe only post the first chapter or two for now, so you've got a store of unreleased chapters built up until you write the next one? Helpful comment from strangers can be so gratifying, they can spur one on to write more. And you're so much more likely to get comments on a comm than on your own journal. Do it!!, do it I say!!

[lila_vulpes]

Oh YAY you updated it =DDD I loved it! And there's absolutely no reason to hate this! There may not be a lot of action happening but there sure is a lot of TENSION happening. Tension from only one fact, which is Coby leaving. I love how you manage to keep them in character even in diferent situations.

But it was so sad TT____TT Augh Helmeppo why don't you just admit you love the little pink boy?? I'm dying to see what happens next, I'm really hoping there will be some love and apologising <3 Because there's not enough CobyxMeppo in this world <3

Awesome! =)

[sparkestra]

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! =D And I'm glad you think I kept them in character as part of the reason it took so long to write was the worrying about them being OOC.

*Holds up the CobyMeppo flag* There really isn't enough CobyMeppo around!

[eloarei]

REALLY extremely late to the party, but I have to mention how sad I am that there's apparently no next chapter! Ah, it's a shame! And what a sad place to leave it, too. *sigh*