Hypocrisy

[sparkless]

I felt ironically dirty after a conversation on rape turned to incoherent backpeddaling complete with his arm around me and repeated use of the word "baby."  Even worse, I feel dirty for slowly inching away rather than shoving him off of me and screaming, "Piss off, motherfucker!  I'm not your baby!"

Where-oh-where has my assertiveness gone?  I

Comments

[somerled]

I have almost no self-assertiveness in that kind of situation either. On the bright side, it has given me lots of uncomfortable encounters for characters in my fiction.

[sparkless]

So we meet again, my dashing male alter ego. This is the stuff of which melancholy poems are made -- for which, as the tale goes, I was once so famous.

[sugarblind]

Men. Don't. Get it.

Will showed up at my house like FOUR TIMES after raping, impregnating, and ignoring me. Once with his kid, all acting like everything was cool and we could be friends.

I hate men.

Don't blame yourself. You can't be blamed for not wanting to make a fuss. He said some stupid shit, called you "baby" a bunch of times, and held on to you. Men are dumb-- they just don't understand that once you've talked about rape with a woman, you can't just expect any fuckup to be resolved with the word "baby" and an arm around your shoulders. We get really schizy after that conversation.

Fuck him. Love you.

[sparkless]

This is what I love about you. I barely pen all the details and still you know exactly where I'm coming from.

I'll give you a tasty little tidbit from last evening,

"Men who are raped in jail want to be raped. The dudes [yes, I'm fairly certain he used the word 'dudes'] who rape them can sense that they are gay also."

And. Scene.

You should have heard me in class. As he was talking, my reaction was purely visceral. I twitched in my seat before half-coherently interrupting him. The entire class turned to me in awe; I'm not usually one to lose my composure. I should have liked to see it caught on tape.

LOVE!

[sugarblind]

WHAT??? What a complete, unadulterated, pure DICKHEAD!!!

He needs to talk to a man who's actually BEEN in jail. Rape is NOT a "gay thing" and it's not a "gaydar" thing! It's the same among caged men as it is among caged animals: dominance.

They don't RAPE each other for sexual gratification, most of the time. (There are always the psychos.) They establish dominance in a horrific, intrusive, damaging way. Cats do it. Dogs do it. Men do it. It's horrible and unconscionable to rape another person, but prison rape comes from a completely different place most of the time.

I seriously would love to know what he'd say if you asked him "So if you went to jail and got raped, that would mean you're gay?"

[sparkless]

The clincher? He is a SOCIAL WORK MAJOR. Nothing says empathy quite like that fail-safe logic!

Damn, I wish I would have thought to ask him that. I may have buckled under the pressure of his nasty arm, but I have no doubt that I would have said something like that had I thought of it.